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Don't exactly know why im posting here, maybe because I don't think anyone I know comes here, and I am slowly losing my mind over this.....
So my GF and I have been doing the long distance thing for little over 2 years now, and we hit a snag....we both love each other quite a bit, but the distance has become too much for her.
She decided that she wanted to take a break, and I said do what you need to do. However it has only been a day without talking to her, and I am already starting to crack.... it is weird how used to
talking to someone you get, that when you don't get to say good morning or goodnight to that person it messes with you. hell I even miss her nagging me to go to the gym....
We are six hours apart (5 if you speed) so we only get to see each other about once a month at best, and after this fall I'm going to be going to Norway then staying up at school.
If anyone has some advice for me atm besides saying bad things about long distance i would appreciate it. as of now my strategy is to calmly wait it out and hope to hear back from her soon, because she is the
one who initiated it, and I don't want to interrupt the time she needs.

I'd take this as a permanent break, i could have sugar coated it but what's the point. When people say they need a break most times they mean permanently and distance just magnifies this.
Personally, i wouldn't wait for hear back from her, you will most likely just tie yourself up in knots and build up your ex into something she really never was. If you move on (or at least prepare to) if she does decide she's had enough break it's an added bonus and she will respect you more from being prepared to move on and not collapse in a heap.

I gather she is at college? Sad news in at that time people change alot , chances of keeping that relationship going are small.

I'd take the time before fall to get yourself back to being used to being single and then hit up Norway with a vengeance.

I'm making a serious post? WTF is going on?

"On a break" = "I'm gonna sleep with someone else, but I don't want you to"


There. I said it. I'm a jackass.

Moving on, you should surprise her by standing outside her home with a boombox playing Peter Gabriel's In Your Eyes, in one last grand gesture to convince her to come away with you. If it works, it'll be awesome. And if it doesn't work, then you can move on; it won't be anywhere nearly as awesome, but it also won't be as crappy as not having any real closure and eventually just drifting further apart, slowly eroding your soul until you're so damaged and bitter that you can't ever truly move on.

its only been a day, but i am getting to the point already where she needs to make a decision, its not fair to me to be baited along for too long. whats funny is ive always been the strong willed one in the relationship, but i dont know how long i can take this....mabye i just need to distract myself....if only there was some sort of game i could play....hmmm

Yeah, sorry to be a jerk but if a women says that she needs a "break" from a relationship, especially a long distance one, it just means that she has found someone else and doesn't wan't to feel bad about pursuing that other person.

Move on is my advice to you.

First of all, it's been one day. If you can't survive a day without someone you need to take a break, that level of attachment is not healthy. In fact, you should probably just forget the subject entirely and go find something else to entertain yourself with for at least a week before you even think of making a decision or saying anything to her. You're inevitably going to be too hasty and make a decision you'll regret.

Now that we've covered that, the answer depends on her motivation in asking for a break:

If you have established a plan for what's going to happen after this break and how you're eventually going to resume your relationship in a situation where distance doesn't drive her insane then you might have a chance. Of course "take a break" is kind of an immature way of handling the situation, but I guess that's what you get when you live in a society where "I don't see you often enough to meet my needs, can we consider having an open relationship" is a forbidden question.

If you don't have any kind of long-term plan beyond "take a break" your relationship is probably doomed and "let's take a break" is just a polite way of saying "it's over". Even if there's no deliberate intent to end things now it's going to be very easy to just move on with your lives and never get around to resuming your relationship. And let's be honest, if you can completely cut off contact with someone and not look back it's probably a sign that you don't really care much about having them in your life.

Unfortunately, given that your "break" doesn't seem to include even talking to each other I'd say it's probably the second situation and there's not much hope. Just move on with your life and let it go.

If you're sat about moping, then it's going to forever to get yourself sorted.

Go out, find something to do. Have fun, meet friends, make new ones.

When one of my previous relationships ended, I blew 3 grand on going out, having fun and meeting new people. Was worth every penny.

Firat love? I was in the same spot about a year ago, the advice.youre receiving here is pretty accurate and good, but if shes your first, youre going to hsve a hard time sayin "feth you" and movin on because you have a special attachment in this case so i understand that you're prolly not going to be able to drop your feelings at the flip of a coin.

Either way, likelihood is that its over, and if its not over theres a good chance that she may do things that will really.hurt your feelings whike this "break" goes on. I would just treat it as being over and just get out and have a good time. Avoid facebook stalking (trust me, you'll start to think every guy she knows is doinkin her, even family relations) if you can, easier said than done I know...

Bit dude really youre goin to norway, think of all the fine foreign actuon you'll be gettin from some od the most gorgeous women on the pkanet!!

 warhawkstriker wrote:
Don't exactly know why im posting here, maybe because I don't think anyone I know comes here, and I am slowly losing my mind over this.....
So my GF and I have been doing the long distance thing for little over 2 years now, and we hit a snag....we both love each other quite a bit, but the distance has become too much for her.
She decided that she wanted to take a break, and I said do what you need to do. However it has only been a day without talking to her, and I am already starting to crack.... it is weird how used to
talking to someone you get, that when you don't get to say good morning or goodnight to that person it messes with you. hell I even miss her nagging me to go to the gym....
We are six hours apart (5 if you speed) so we only get to see each other about once a month at best, and after this fall I'm going to be going to Norway then staying up at school.
If anyone has some advice for me atm besides saying bad things about long distance i would appreciate it. as of now my strategy is to calmly wait it out and hope to hear back from her soon, because she is the
one who initiated it, and I don't want to interrupt the time she needs.

I have had a long distance relationship for going on 15 years. Its hard, really really hard. I agree if she wants a "break" that means its over.
Take a vacation. Take a hike. Do something but do something completely different. Move on.


Automatically Appended Next Post:

 azazel the cat wrote:
"On a break" = "I'm gonna sleep with someone else, but I don't want you to"


There. I said it. I'm a jackass.

Moving on, you should surprise her by standing outside her home with a boombox playing Peter Gabriel's In Your Eyes, in one last grand gesture to convince her to come away with you. If it works, it'll be awesome. And if it doesn't work, then you can move on; it won't be anywhere nearly as awesome, but it also won't be as crappy as not having any real closure and eventually just drifting further apart, slowly eroding your soul until you're so damaged and bitter that you can't ever truly move on.

yea I didn't really want to say that.


Automatically Appended Next Post:

 warhawkstriker wrote:
its only been a day, but i am getting to the point already where she needs to make a decision, its not fair to me to be baited along for too long. whats funny is ive always been the strong willed one in the relationship, but i dont know how long i can take this....mabye i just need to distract myself....if only there was some sort of game i could play....hmmm

Here's a game. Send her a dead fish in a rolled up newspaper.
Dude I'm like getting mad FOR you.

Wait, I just caught that you're going to Norway. NORWAY! She gave you gift. Dude you're about to party with freaking Valkyries! I am officially jealous.
Leave early. Go now!!!

Embrace the 'break'. Go out, buy yourself some nice new clothes and hit the town with your mates. Talk to chicks. Enjoy your freedom by having sex with one of them. Trust me, you'll feel better in the long run.

 Albatross wrote:
Embrace the 'break'. Go out, buy yourself some nice new clothes and hit the town with your mates. Talk to chicks. Enjoy your freedom by having sex with one of them. Trust me, you'll feel better in the long run.

Do this and generally rely on your mates a bit

Just try and have some fun - it'll take your mind off stuff, and the best thing about having fun is that you usually enjoy it - any excuse for a good time!

I'd also advise going out with your mates or something - then you might, hopefully, start to feel that you don't need her around to enjoy yourself.

I also second Frazzled's dead fish game

 azazel the cat wrote:
"On a break" = "I'm gonna sleep with someone else, but I don't want you to"


There. I said it. I'm a jackass.

Moving on, you should surprise her by standing outside her home with a boombox playing Peter Gabriel's In Your Eyes, in one last grand gesture to convince her to come away with you. If it works, it'll be awesome. And if it doesn't work, then you can move on; it won't be anywhere nearly as awesome, but it also won't be as crappy as not having any real closure and eventually just drifting further apart, slowly eroding your soul until you're so damaged and bitter that you can't ever truly move on.

This is the gist of it.

Also 'On a break' is about the same bollocks as 'Its not you it's me' and other well trodden clichés for ending a relationship.

WTF are your mates doing allowing you time to post your pain on forums?

I dissagree. On a brake dosn't mean the relationship is over!

What it means is "I want to bang someone else, but I want you to wait for me just incase it dosn't work out". She may or may not have a someone else in mind, but its a realy horrid thing to do to someone.

Don't believe me, why else would someone ask for a break? What else are they wanting it for? Some "personal space". Ye, if that "personal space" means space in the bedroom. Otherwise they would say "I need some quiet time. I'm realy busy/stressed/hungry/whatever. Can we take a brake from calling each other for a week. I'll talk to you again on X date" or "can we talk every other day. I find it difficult to be busy every day".

Long distance relationships are hard and only work with honesty. The line "take a break" annoyes me no end as women never get picked up on it being a nasty thing to do.

Go out, enjoy the fact that you do not have to be avalable to talk to her every day, go to a strip club, have a beer, eat a pizza, smoke a cigar or whatever other vice is appropriat for your age and situation.

Yeah, same advice from me as the rest of these scallywags, get out of the house, go have a pint with the lads, it's got the potential to be a lovely friday your local's weather permitting, why waste it? She'll come around or she won't, it'll rain or it won't, not much to be done for it either way.

 azazel the cat wrote:
but it also won't be as crappy as not having any real closure and eventually just drifting further apart, slowly eroding your soul until you're so damaged and bitter that you can't ever truly move on.

ouch. That hurt me and I'm not even in a relationship

 Mr. Burning wrote:

 azazel the cat wrote:
"On a break" = "I'm gonna sleep with someone else, but I don't want you to"


There. I said it. I'm a jackass.

Moving on, you should surprise her by standing outside her home with a boombox playing Peter Gabriel's In Your Eyes, in one last grand gesture to convince her to come away with you. If it works, it'll be awesome. And if it doesn't work, then you can move on; it won't be anywhere nearly as awesome, but it also won't be as crappy as not having any real closure and eventually just drifting further apart, slowly eroding your soul until you're so damaged and bitter that you can't ever truly move on.

This is the gist of it.

Also 'On a break' is about the same bollocks as 'Its not you it's me' and other well trodden clichés for ending a relationship.

WTF are your mates doing allowing you time to post your pain on forums?

Mr. Burning is correct. Your friends should be physically dragging you out now, showing you pics of the fine Norwegian "scenery" you're about to be perusing (dude I am so jealous I didn't get those opportunities) and generally doing lots of things you regret in the morning.

Don't listen to these misanthropes, you need show up at her door unexpected, probably 2 in the morning on a friday night? Walk in, catch her in the act, and break down in manly tears...

That's what I did and *twitch* I turned out all right... O.o

Seriously, get off dakka and go enjoy yourself.

Grab that stupid app, "Crazy Blind Date" and use it, meet new people, bang a few of them, keep it casual.

It's over.

Move on.

"I want a break" means "I want to feth someone I just met."

Read the advice you've been given. Albatross is spot on. Get out of your room. In a few weeks, you'll be dancing with some other chick.

Don't accept any offer of 'lets stay friends' either.

To quote Starship Troopers (the film)
Ace Levy: Funny how they always want to be friends after they rip your guts out.

Staying friends means she wants to see other people and has decided that you aren't allowed to be upset by this. Therefore you have to be nice to her while she repeatedly treats you like c**p.

"The best way to get over someone..is to get under someone else!"

CPD

 kronk wrote:
It's over.

Move on.

"I want a break" means "I want to feth someone I just met."

Read the advice you've been given. Albatross is spot on. Get out of your room. In a few weeks, you'll be dancing with some other chick.

Or at the very least you'll be.....

PredaKhaine wrote:
Don't accept any offer of 'lets stay friends' either.

To quote Starship Troopers (the film)
Ace Levy: Funny how they always want to be friends after they rip your guts out.

Staying friends means she wants to see other people and has decided that you aren't allowed to be upset by this. Therefore you have to be nice to her while she repeatedly treats you like c**p.

Hence the dead fish in the newspaper.

See how long it takes her to call you, do not text her, do not call her, do not email her, nothing. That will give you a pretty good feel for her intentions.

Also as the above have stated and just so they are not alone in being brutally honest. I need a break is code for I want to sleep with someone else and still tell myself I'm a good person.

For what its worth dude, at least you were asked/considered. My ldr ex suddenly stopped talking to me and about a week later told me we were on a break that I never really agreed to. She would only responded to my calls, messages, etc. when she felt like talking to me (which was about once a week) during which time she would treat me like absolute crap and lie to me about why we couldn't sit down like adults and talk and decide if there was any point to keeping it together before ignoring me again. This went on for a month before she broke up with me "because of the way I was treating her" but she hoped we could still be friends (I told her I never wanted to speak to her again). Somehow we ended up talking again about a week later, and a couple weeks after that we ran into each other in Times Square... she wrapped her arms around me and wouldn't let go and made a scene in public and basically begged me to come back and wanted me to visit her and her family, yadda yadda yadda...

So, still being in love with her I agreed... I met her parents a couple weeks later, and then a week after that fine introduction (seriously it was one of the best 3 day periods of my life other than the Army-Navy game in 2010 which I can barely remember and the 3 days I spent crawling around in the mud playing OPFOR for the Army in Spring 2011) she left me for a woman... in the Navy... because she came to the sudden realization that she was a lesbian... oh, did I also mention it turned out she had been lying to me about her age? She was only 16... >.<

Point is, you're going to feel like gak, but if theres one thing you can do to make yourself feel better, it should be to say "Well, at least I'm not chaos0xomega."

If you REALLY want to get her back thuogh, this is what you do:

Fall off the grid. Don't message her, dont call her, don't do anything at all involving her. Have facebook and/or other social media? Don't update it, fall off the face of the earth and give her no indication as to whats going on in your lives. If you are going to update your status or whatever, only post things about how awesome your life is. DONT post anything implying you're sad or whatever, no depressing song lyrics. Only post things about all the awesome things you're doing with your friends (partying, going to movies, if you're into it sporting events, or other activities). Take up some new hobbies to demonstrate you're dynamic and that theres more to you than meets the eye/more to you than what she realized (and by new hobbies I mean cool gak like rock climbing, etc. not magic the gathering). Post pictures of you with drinking beer with hot chicks you met at the bar, etc. You'll have her attention real quick and she'll probably be begging for you back at that point...

Problem is, it becomes a game after this point, because if it happened once, you can bet its going to happen again.

Yeah sorry.. on a break means she met someone else and wants to try him on for size. If she gets back with you after this break, it means she didn't like the other guy, but she'll hang with you for a while till the next one comes along.

It really sucks being there, but you're better off just moving on.

One of my ex's said - I think we should split up.
I'd been expecting it, but wasn't exactly happy about it.

I asked if it was someone else and she said no. Within 2 days she was seeing someone.

What are the odds of that?

I did find out he went to live in malta, so he must've really liked her...

The main thing to take away from that is that the grass isn't always greener. Sometimes, it turns out to be mud and c**p with grass stuck to it.

When that happens, go sit down the garden in the sun, light a cigar and put your feet up.
You've earned it.

 Necros wrote:
Yeah sorry.. on a break means she met someone else and wants to try him on for size. If she gets back with you after this break, it means she didn't like the other guy, but she'll hang with you for a while till the next one comes along.

It really sucks being there, but you're better off just moving on.

This man is speaking so much truth.

Best of luck, maynard.

Also, not to sound sexist (which means I'm about to say something really offensive) but girls in that age bracket (18-24) are really not all that mature or even all that sure what they want or what they're looking for. This isn't universally true, but its a good generalization.

Everyone says girls mature faster but thats really not the case, they take a lead but guys catch up by around 19-20 yrs, and then pull ahead for a few years until the two even out around 25-27 years old. The number of relationships I've seen suddenly end after college graduations because the girl felt "she was in a different place in life and needed to surround herself with new people and new things and take a new path" is absolutely ridiculous.

The likelihood your relationship would work out long term is slim anyway, so better it end now while you're in college than be like a lot of my friends and miss out on so much by being tied down.

My wife and I survived a long distance relationship (5 hours and several thousand miles), we got to spend some time in person maybe three times before I moved over. My family met her all of 4 months before I moved over. In our case we're both a bit older than you are so we didn't have that feeling that either of us was missing something.

That being said a long distance relationship, like every relationship, will only work if both people put in the effort.