Michele Bachmann Quits Congress: MAD Will Miss Her!

http://www.madmagazine.com/blog/2013/05/29/michele-bachmann-quits-congress-mad-will-miss-her

Whoever said, “Dying is easy, comedy is hard” died before Michele Bachmann ran for public office. The four-term, factually-challenged Congresswoman from Minnesota was a gift to comedy writers everywhere – her gaffes providing daily fodder for pundits, late-night comedians and yes, even MAD. Yesterday, Mrs. Bachmann announced that she would not seek another term in Congress. Her departure from the political scene will once again make comedy hard. Good bye, Mrs. Bachmann. And thanks.

From MAD #513, February 2012
Writers: Frank Santopadre and Genevieve Sterbenz

http://thinkprogress.org/politics/2011/06/16/246618/bachmann-craziest-quotes/

10 Of The Craziest Things Michele Bachmann Has Ever Said

By Guest Blogger on Jun 16, 2011 at 10:30 am

Our guest blogger is Elon Green, a freelance writer living in Brooklyn.

Earlier this week, Rep. Michele Bachmann (R-MN) announced she had filed the papers to run for President. It’s not a frivolous pursuit: She is extremely well liked by the Republican base and is an unusually effective fundraiser, taking in more dollars in the last election cycle she than any of her Congressional colleagues.

Still, Bachmann’s candidacy is not without potential landmines. Over the last decade, she has taken positions that are dangerous, stemming from her radical ideology. To Bachmann’s credit, she is aware of this, lamenting to Glenn Beck, “I have experienced that throughout my political career, being labeled a kook.”

ThinkProgress has assembled 10 of the nuttiest things Bachmann has ever said:

(1) BACHMANN WARNED ‘THE LION KING’ WAS GAY PROPAGANDA: At the November 2004 EdWatch National Education Conference, Bachmann said the “normalization” of homosexuality would lead to “desensitization”: “Very effective way to do this with a bunch of second graders, is take a picture of ‘The Lion King’ for instance, and a teacher might say, ‘Do you know that the music for this movie was written by a gay man?’ The message is: I’m better at what I do, because I’m gay.”

(2) BACHMANN CLAIMED ABOLISHING THE MINIMUM WAGE WOULD CREATE JOBS: While testifying in front of the Minnesota Senate in 2005, Bachmann said, “Literally, if we took away the minimum wage — if conceivably it was gone — we could potentially virtually wipe out unemployment completely because we would be able to offer jobs at whatever level.” This isn’t remotely true. Even simply reducing the minimum wage would, as Paul Krugman noted, “at best do nothing for employment; more likely it would actually be contractionary.”

(3) BACHMANN CLAIMED THAT SCIENTISTS ARE SUPPORTERS OF INTELLIGENT DESIGN: During a 2006 debate, Bachmann said, “There are hundreds and hundreds of scientists, many of them holding Nobel Prizes, who believe in intelligent design.” This was, and is, not true.

(4) BACHMANN CLAIMED TERRI SCHIAVO WAS ‘HEALTHY’: Not long after Terri Schiavo died, Bachmann said she would have voted for the Palm Sunday Compromise because Schiavo “was healthy. She had brain damage — there was brain damage, there was no question. But from a health point of view, she was not terminally ill.” An autopsy found that Schiavo had suffered irreversible brain damage and her brain, said the medical examiner, was “profoundly atrophied.”

(5) BACHMANN LIKENED VISITING IRAQ TO VISITING MALL OF AMERICA: In 2007, Bachmann returned from a junket to Iraq and told her colleagues, “[T]here’s a commonality with the Mall of America, in that it’s on that proportion. There’s marble everywhere. The other thing I remarked about was there is water everywhere.” As ThinkProgress documented at the time, the comparison was preposterous.

(6) BACHMANN CLAIMED THAT CARBON DIOXIDE IS ‘HARMLESS’: In 2008, a Stanford scientist revealed “direct links” between increased levels of carbon dioxide in the atmosphere and “increases in human mortality” — globally, he found that as many as “20,000 air-pollution-related deaths per year per degree Celsius may be due to this greenhouse gas.” The next year, Bachmann, who is not a scientist, said that “carbon dioxide is portrayed as harmful. But there isn’t even one study that can be produced that shows that carbon dioxide is a harmful gas.”

(7) BACHMANN CALLED FOR A CONGRESSIONAL WITCH HUNT: Pivoting off the news of Barack Obama’s alleged relationship to former Weather Underground member William Ayers, and his former pastor, Rev. Jeremiah Wright, Bachmann accused the candidate of having “anti-American views.” She then suggested that Congressional liberals — including Nancy Pelosi and Harry Reid — ought to be subject to “an exposé” by the media because of their views. “I think people would love to see like that,” she told a stunned Chris Matthews.

(8) BACHMANN SUGGESTED GAY SINGER SHOULD REPENT AFTER GETTING CANCER: Bachmann saw Melissa Etheridge’s cancer as a teachable moment: “Unfortunately she is now suffering from breast cancer, so keep her in your prayers,” she said in November 2004. “This may be an opportunity for her now to be open to some spiritual things, now that she is suffering with that physical disease. She is a lesbian.”

(9) BACHMANN BOASTED ABOUT BREAKING THE LAW: In advance of the 2010 national Census, Bachmann told The Washington Times that she would break the law by not completing the forms. “I know for my family, the only question we will be answering is how many people are in our home,” she said. “We won’t be answering any information beyond that, because the Constitution doesn’t require any information beyond that.”

(10) BACHMANN CLAIMED THAT GLENN BECK COULD SOLVE THE DEBT CRISIS: During a February trip to South Carolina, Bachmann told a South Carolina audience, “I think if we give Glenn Beck the numbers, he can solve this [the national debt].”

 azazel the cat wrote:
Well, Minnesota has just legalized gay marriage, and her husband is quite obviously a homosexual, so when her husband innevitable divorces her and re-marries another man, that would likely create a problem for her with her base during the campaign.

 azazel the cat wrote:

And then there's the ethics investigation regarding where all her campaign funds went, considering she didn't pay any of her staffers. And since she didn't pay any of them, they're all talking. So the massive corruption investigation will also make waves for her.

Frazzled wrote:

 azazel the cat wrote:
Well, Minnesota has just legalized gay marriage, and her husband is quite obviously a homosexual, so when her husband innevitable divorces her and re-marries another man, that would likely create a problem for her with her base during the campaign.

Wow can you be any more of a sexist?

 azazel the cat wrote:

Frazzled wrote:

 azazel the cat wrote:
Well, Minnesota has just legalized gay marriage, and her husband is quite obviously a homosexual, so when her husband innevitable divorces her and re-marries another man, that would likely create a problem for her with her base during the campaign.

Wow can you be any more of a sexist?

How is that sexist, exactly?

 azazel the cat wrote:

Frazzled wrote:

 azazel the cat wrote:
Well, Minnesota has just legalized gay marriage, and her husband is quite obviously a homosexual, so when her husband innevitable divorces her and re-marries another man, that would likely create a problem for her with her base during the campaign.

Wow can you be any more of a sexist?

How is that sexist, exactly?

 Easy E wrote:
Yes.

Which is what makes the whole meme/slander especially funny.

Michele got her political start as a School Board Member. Even these elections matter people.

Frazzled wrote:

 azazel the cat wrote:

Frazzled wrote:

 azazel the cat wrote:
Well, Minnesota has just legalized gay marriage, and her husband is quite obviously a homosexual, so when her husband innevitable divorces her and re-marries another man, that would likely create a problem for her with her base during the campaign.

Wow can you be any more of a sexist?

How is that sexist, exactly?

Why did you say her husband is obviously a homosexual?

 Frazzled wrote:

 azazel the cat wrote:
Well, Minnesota has just legalized gay marriage, and her husband is quite obviously a homosexual, so when her husband innevitable divorces her and re-marries another man, that would likely create a problem for her with her base during the campaign.

Wow can you be any more of a sexist?

 azazel the cat wrote:
take this with a grain of salt:
http://www.slate.com/articles/health_and_science/human_nature/2011/07/read_my_lisp.html

In any case, even if I'm wrong (I doubt it) said comment is not sexist.

Now Marcus Bachmann, husband of Republican presidential candidate Rep. Michele Bachmann, is setting off gaydar alarms. It started as a subtle joke among bloggers. Then it progressed to parody and overt insinuation. On Tuesday, Dan Savage said the Bachmanns' marriage was frigid because Mr. Bachmann may have "tiptoed down" the road to homosexuality "just a couple of inches … maybe six, maybe seven." As evidence, Savage cited Bachmann's "mincing" in a YouTube clip, plus "the sound of his voice." He concluded that Bachmann "appears to be a lying closet case." On Wednesday, Jon Stewart said Bachmann, who counsels homosexuals to overcome their urges, seems to be doing this "so he can hoard all the gayness for himself." Stewart said Bachmann "dances and sounds not only gay, but center-square gay."

 azazel the cat wrote:

Frazzled wrote:

 azazel the cat wrote:

Frazzled wrote:

 azazel the cat wrote:
Well, Minnesota has just legalized gay marriage, and her husband is quite obviously a homosexual, so when her husband innevitable divorces her and re-marries another man, that would likely create a problem for her with her base during the campaign.

Wow can you be any more of a sexist?

How is that sexist, exactly?

Why did you say her husband is obviously a homosexual?

Because he obviously is. I'd say he's the closeted, full-of-self-loathing type, to boot. Hence, his therapy clinic.

take this with a grain of salt:
http://www.slate.com/articles/health_and_science/human_nature/2011/07/read_my_lisp.html

In any case, even if I'm wrong (I doubt it) said comment is not sexist.

 Manchu wrote:
Frazz, if you have a chance, could you just answer how stating a man is a closested homosexual is sexist before continuing on with your thinly veiled anti-Canadian passive aggressiveness?

 Manchu wrote:
Frazz, if you have a chance, could you just answer how stating a man is a closested homosexual is sexist before continuing on with your thinly veiled anti-Canadian passive aggressiveness?

 Frazzled wrote:
Would the subject come up if the genders were reversed? NO.
If you say yes, please cite examples.

 Manchu wrote:

 Frazzled wrote:
Would the subject come up if the genders were reversed? NO.
If you say yes, please cite examples.

No, I didn't ask you to beg the question; I asked you to explain the accusation. You seem to be saying that calling Bachmann's husband a homosexual is sexist against her. Like saying, he is a homosexual because she is a woman in power? Is that what you mean? See, it's not clear (to me) what you are saying except I suspect you are just using the word "sexist" in a a sort of turnabout-is-fairplay "haha, I got you, using your own liberal ideas" kind of way.

 Manchu wrote:
You yourself just brought up Hillary Clinton. I have heard Republicans call her an ugly lesbian since 1991. (Some even said this about Chelsea.)

 Frazzled wrote:


Exactly. I intentionally brought her up as its not a party thing. Stop it already. Its sexism.

 Frazzled wrote:

 Manchu wrote:
You yourself just brought up Hillary Clinton. I have heard Republicans call her an ugly lesbian since 1991. (Some even said this about Chelsea.)

Exactly. I intentionally brought her up as its not a party thing. Stop it already. Its sexism.