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Avatar's /fiction writing abilities are almost as strong as his google-fu...
If there were lesbians involved then we'd see something really special.
I call it the Trifecta of Avatar's oddly specific skillset.

 Avatar 720 wrote:

 Platuan4th wrote:
Kirsanth: Professional Rocket Catcher.

Someone on the ship, print him out some business cards before we get back.

"You're one lucky man, Kir." Cato said as his chirugeon administered a dose of painkiller into Kirsanth's arm, "Not many, even amongst our number, can take the weight of fire you do and have the ability to keep on standing back up."

Kirsanth grunted, "Lucky? Being a bullet magnet is hardly lucky." The lithe arms of Cato's chirugeon flitted around his arm like large insects searching for a spot to bite. Kirsanth batted them away and pulled himself off the chair, gritting his teeth as pain flared up his recently healed leg and blossomed inside his thrice rebuilt chest.

"You got hit by a krak missile and didn't lose a single limb," Cato replied, the arms of his chirugeon drooping as he detached the apparatus, "I'd call that lucky."

Kirsanth shot him a glare, "Yes, now I get to live to see another one hit me." He sighed, rubbing a thick hand across his scarred face, "I'm sorry, Cato, I'm not angry with you."

Cato nodded, "I know."

The pain began to subsides as Cato's painkillers started their work, aiding Kirsanth's enhanced Astartes physiology and helping him ignore the complaints from his various battle wounds. "At least I don't have to be shoved inside a Dreadnought."

"Would you believe me if I said we've got a sarcophagus prepped and ready for you?" Cato chuckled.

Kirsanth grinned, "I wouldn't give Proficio or Veri the satisfaction, besides, how'd they react to what Purple got the Predator into?"

Cato sat himself down on the chair, "Apparently you could hear them cursing across the other side of the ship." He sighed, "If only fixing machines were as easy as fixing people."

Kirsanth gave Cato a playful punch on the shoulder, "Don't beat yourself up, you and Won do a great job, I mean, look at the wonders you perform on me."

"And think about what you come back to me with after I do." Cato waved a hand before him, "That didn't come out right, I'm sorry."

"Don't worry, I knew what you meant." Kirsanth watched Cato as the apothecary looked forlornly around the apothecarion. The apothecary had a rugged look to him that all astartes shared, but was more prominent in him than any others. His eyes bore the weight not only of combat, of dealing with its consequences. By the hands of the astartes foes and friends alike died in glory on the battlefield, but for apothecaries, they also died in theirs arms or on the operating table. He had whispered promises that his brothers would be fine, only to break them seconds later when they could hold on no more.

"Is it wrong," Cato muttered, "for me to dream of the day when our brothers may finally stop dying?"

Kirsanth gave Cato's shoulder a reassuring squeeze, "It is never wrong to dream of peace, brother." Cato nodded, and covered Kirsanth's hand with his own. "It may seem strange, but soldiers, more than anyone, dream of peace. There is no feeling like being able to sleep without fear of never waking up."

"And you, Kir,?" Cato asked, "Why is that you dream of peace?"

Mere inches separated their faces. Kirsanth could feel Cato's warm breath upon his cheeks. Something in the man's eyes lured him closer, something begged to be set free, something Cato had caged behind bars of adamantium now howled for release, "I would dream of peace so that all this death would cease, so that you may have your wish, so that you yourself would not die." Kirsanth could fight the silent urge within him no longer; Cato's inner beasts would taste freedom this night.

_____

Oh shi-, I thought you said "Someone ship him"; my bad.

50 shades of blue?

Ugh, you got me in the mood to write /fiction. I hate you all. -.-

Well done! This beast....I do I sense attack of the power armoured trouser snake?

Kirsanth felt cold as his limbs started to shake and convulse. He felt his hearts palpitate and his vision blur. The Astartes stared into his brother's eyes. Darkness enveloped the apothecary's pupils as a grin crossed his lips. Kirsanth pushed him away and fell to his knees, the metallic floor creaking and thundering under the weight of his power armor.

He tried to look up at his “brother” but his neck muscles were contracting and cramping, forcing him to look to the metallic rusted surface of the floor. He felt anger and fury rush his emotions as he summoned his strength to reach for the bolt pistol on his hip. As he unclipped it from his utility slot, the apothecary effortlessly kicked it out of his hands. It slid across the floor as Kirsanth saw his only chance for retribution stop underneath the surgery table.

“I did mean that I don't want my brothers to die, Kir...” Cato knelt in front of him and lifted up his chin and stared into his pain ridden face, “Codicil MX-V-X.i, Never lie to another Astartes, trust one another for together you form the pieces of the shield and the sword that cuts down the enemies of the Emperor and protects him.”

Cato stood and chuckled the way he always did as Kirsanth struggled to remain conscious, to say something into his vox, to tell his battle brothers of the traitor. He should have kept his helmet on, he should have realize the pain that coursed through his leg earlier wasn't normal.

“How many times Kirsanth?! How many times have I TENDED to your wounds, PAIN INHIBITORS DON'T USUALLY HURT DO THEY KIR?!” Cato smiled even wider than he was earlier, “And I bet now you can see the irony in trusting your brother!” He laughed kicking Kirsanth over with a thud of ceramite on ceramite. Kirsanth landed on his back, his thoughts becoming more and more clouded.

“Don't worry brother I'm not going to kill you, no no no, that would go against the Codex Astartes,” Cato smiled, “I'm just going to make some changes to you. So you understand my point of view, so you'll do better in battle,” he chuckled again, “So you can serve the emperor.”

Kirsanth muttered something, prompting Cato to move closer, to listen. “What was that? Your last words as a loyalist?”

“Traitor...”

Cato stood from the downed Astartes, “You and me both brother, but I'll tell you this much I'm not working alone on this ship... and by the way, you should have tried to seduce Won instead, whenever I'm around him he doesn't stop talking about you,” Cato sneered kicking Kirsanth on the top of the head, rendering him unconscious.


* * * * *

Sergeant Fulmen moved through the cobwebbed corridors of the ship, passing serfs in rags who bowed in respect to his presence. The giant Astartes clad in blue armor seemed like a demi-god when compared to the mortals, so it was only natural that a serf should fear the reprisal of an angel of death.

Fulmen had been looking for Kirsanth for over an hour, and he was yet to be found. He had checked his personal quarters, the training pits, and Won's room. Fulmen always wondered about those two, they were always seen together... very strange. Nonetheless he was headed for Cato's Apothecarium, the last place he looked. He'd known Kirsanth had been there for treatment of his wounds during the last battle but he had assumed he'd already been treated and discharged.

Sergeant Fulmen heard his vox crackle to life, “Apothecary Won to the Apothecarium, Kirsanth has suffered a Cerebral Edema and a TBI concerning his upper cortex...”

Fulmen's eyes widened, he knew little about medical procedures and terminology, but what he did know was that didn't sound good. Fulmen's fast pace turned into a sprint towards Cato's Apothecarium, the serfs clinging to the sides of the corridors as the giant thundered past them.

“What..? My Kir?” Won replied over the vox, “How did we not-”

“There's no time Won, I need you here immediately...” Cato replied his voice stern and serious.

Fulmen saw the entrance of the apothecarium and darted for it, pressing the release button on the door prompting it to open. Inside lay his squad member, his armor was completely removed as he lay naked on a surgery table. Cato was wearing full battle rattle as he and his bionicle appendages where making inscions on Kirsanth's forhead. Servitors stood motionless around the room, holding medical equipment and chemicles. The sight filled Fulmen with fear for the loss of his brother.

“Cato!” Fulmen yelled, “What happened to my brother?!”

Cato's eyelenses creaked as he leaned in closer to Kirsanth's skull moving his appendages and surgical tools in very slow methodical motions. Fulmen moved over to the table and stared at the Apothecary, his fist clenched with the anger of being ignored.

“CATO!” he screamed to the apothecary who didn't as much glance upwards.

“His brain is swelling from internal bleeding and shock from the explosions and bolt rounds that rocked his head earlier. When the brain continues to swell it has no place to go except through the spinal column, which will kill him. I'm trying to prevent that from happening. I've relieved pressure from his skull by cutting out the bone where most of the bleeding is occurring.” Cato said all of this without looking upwards.

“Will he live Cato...?” Fulmen's anger turning into worry as he watched his brother lying helplessly on his table, “Can you save him?”

“I believe I can...” He said emotionless, still messing around in Kirsanth's brain with his tools, “But...”

Fulmen's eyes widened again with fear, “But?!”

Cato glanced up at Fulmen for the first time, “But,” he said with an annoyed tone, then turned his head back towards his patient, “He will not be the same. I have to make some implantation, some similar to what servitors have... he will continue to serve the Emperor until his death.”

As Fulmen began to open his mouth to speak, Apothecary Won showed up. His long blonde hair and blue eyes were indistinguishable from the rest of the company. Fulmen thought it looked like he might tear up at the loss of his beloved brother. What was going on between those two?

“Cato... Brother what happened? I thought-”

Cato looked up at his subordinate apothecary, “You thought nothing! You were supposed to go over all of our brothers schematics and life readings once they came aboard. YOU misdiagnosed Kirsanth and now he will suffer a fate of lobotomy because of you! Your discipline actions will come soon enough, Won... Now hand me the needle decompression kit”

The rest of VIII squad had shown up at this point, each face showed horror except for Rasputin who showed no emotion. Fulmen could hardly contain his anger at Won. He was truly inexperienced as an apothecary and he brought shame to his company by letting one of their own basically die by a small, preventable mistake.

“You...” he turned to Won, pure scorn riddled his face. His veins flooded with blood from rage. “This... This is your fault.”

Won turned to face Fulmen. As he did he felt a metal fist hit his face. The blow didn't feel good to say the least and Fulmen would've continued if it weren't for his squad holding him back.

“I'LL KILL YOU!” he screamed trying to fight off his squad members as they tackled him to the ground. Won looked off into space in horror, blood flowing from his nose.

Cato grinned underneath his helmet as he began to implant the chips that would render Kirsanth completely under his control.


******

The apothecarium door slid open, it was a figure holding a bolt pistol. Cato eyed him as he walked into the room.

"I wonder how Kirsanth's bolt pistol ended up underneath the surgical table..." he said emotionless.

Cato was silent, his grin disappearing before the giant.

"Be more careful next time brother..." he said tossing Cato the pistol and leaving.

omg


lol

Here I was thinking along the lines of Mr. Torgue.

 Trondheim wrote:
Well done! This beast....I do I sense attack of the power armoured trouser snake?

Let's just say it's lucky that apothecaries get to Feel No Pain.


I blame shrike for all of this.

You guys may have spoken/written too soon about Kirsanth's fate...

Catosanth is my OTP - DO NOT STEAL!!11

TL;DR please.

 Avatar 720 wrote:
Catosanth is my OTP - DO NOT STEAL!!11

Abracadarba, fiddle-dee-dee
Cato + Kir OTP!!!

 Just Dave wrote:
You guys may have spoken/written too soon about Kirsanth's fate...

!!!!!



Someone wanted to be in a Terminated squad?


. . .

Poor form to steal someone's OTP...
Also the predator was fine!

Haha I find this highly amusing! Do keep posting

No, not a lobotomy!

They should elope and live happily ever after!

Finished the latest mission and I reckon it went well, good job guys. Will try to do the write-up tomorrow, but for now here are some highlights:

- 3 more Crux Terminatus have been awarded.
- 5 people have been promoted from Space Marine Veteran to Space Marine Hero.
- 3 people have been promoted to Space Marine Veteran.
- Someone got a 218% ranged hit rate, someone else got 100%!
- Someone got a stonking 96% close combat hit rate!
- Someone killed some enemies.
- Someone else didn't.

Did I kill someone?

Yet again the forces of Purplefood the Magnificent V have triumphed over the forces of chaos.
I assume I have all the shiny medals and badges.

Did I make myself useful?

Any potential for work getting done today is over now.

Tease!

"Enemy fire, incoming!"

"I got it!"

blood_ravens_marine wrote:Did I make myself useful?

Yes.

purplefood wrote:Yet again the forces of Purplefood the Magnificent V have triumphed over the forces of chaos.
I assume I have all the shiny medals and badges.

No.

Trondheim wrote:Did I kill someone?

Kinda.

Kinda? As in I actually hit something. Or did I happen to frag a squad mate?

 Trondheim wrote:
Kinda? As in I actually hit something. Or did I happen to frag a squad mate?

You probably exploded a shrubbery.

 CthuluIsSpy wrote:

 Trondheim wrote:
Kinda? As in I actually hit something. Or did I happen to frag a squad mate?

You probably exploded a shrubbery.

Suffer not the shrubbery to live

Trondheim wrote:Kinda? As in I actually hit something. Or did I happen to frag a squad mate?

You'll know when you know.

CthuluIsSpy wrote:

 Trondheim wrote:
Kinda? As in I actually hit something. Or did I happen to frag a squad mate?

You probably exploded a shrubbery.

It was just a flesh wound.

Don't worry guys the Cato + Kir OTP is still going on. Space Marines get a little bit more hard core when they turn into "Space buddies" and they do things that mortals would find appalling.
(For all the married people here wouldn't you want to be able to program your wife to do your every desire?)

Anyway, here's the next chapter...


Won splashed water on his face soaking away the tears at the loss of his beloved Kir's personality. How many nights had they sat together in the docking bay, reading each other the codex astartes only to find themselves lying together, their arms locked in place? He was going to miss those nights. He frowned as he combed his blonde hair over, it flowed down to his shoulders He would have to find a new buddy.

The door slammed open. It was Sergeant Fulmen. Fear screamed inside of Won (even though space marines don't know fear, he did for some reason). Fulmen was here to obviously kill Won, to take revenge on him by not going over the diagnosis properly. Fulmen reached for his bolt pistol.

"Stop Won, I'm not here to hurt you," he said softly.

Won blushed, he had come at a time where he was getting prettied up. He wasn't yet prepared for the rest of the company to see him. Not now, not like this. He felt so vulnerable.

"I've come to ask you about your brother Apothecary, Cato," he said stammering, "and to apologize for my actions the other day. I shouldn't have attacked you like that..." his voice trailing off, seemingly distant.

"It's okay brother," His mascara running down his cheeks as he teared up, "He meant the world to me."

"Kir was one of the best space buddies a space buddy could ask for... So tell me Brother, why is Cato always holding hands with Robo Kir?"

Won gasped, Cato holding hands with his former beloved? There was obviously a gap in morality, you never should go after someone's previous space buddy, especially after they've been lobotomized! There had to be some mistake.

"What...?" Won barely spat out, the betrayal still fresh on his emotions.

"Yes, I've been seeing this gesture quite often around here lately, I don't really know what it means. Just yesterday Cato was holding hands with the Predator Pilot! I confronted him about it and he said it was "Space Buddy Tuesday". What does that mean Won? I ask you this because I've seen you hold hands with Kir!"

Won teared up again at the mention of Kir and Cato having his way with him. Won couldn't confront Cato about the OTP because he was his subordinate but he felt like he must. He was so zoned out in thought he forgot Fulmen was standing there.

"WON!" Fulmen said shaking him vigoriously, "What is going on around here?! What does "Space Buddy Tuesday" mean? What does it mean to "Hold hands" and why for the love of our beloved emperor does Cato lock himself in the Apothecarium with Kir and moan loudly?!"

Won made a decisive deliberate decision and touched Fulmen's gauntlet-ed hand, grasping it tightly. His blue eyes stared into his pink eyes as he whispered, "I'll show you... Space buddy."

Fulmen blushed, and closed his eyes as they embraced as new space buddies.

MEANWHILE... in the Apothecarium

This scene was removed due to forum rules infractions.

By the......Dammit not again! Broke backbattelbarge!

Just caught up with all this again after a while.

I thoroughly look forward to my inevitable excruciating death.

Should have the latest report uploaded tomorrow. Complete with manic cackling, drooling, friendly fire, incompetence, and lots of burning things.