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I would break down and cry on the inside, pretend I don't care on the out side, be carry on being her friend after, and make many, MANY dirty jokes at any and all opportunities, and suddenly find my hip flask and maintain its stylish to carry it and drink out of it at all times (and keep it topped up with everclear, either I'll stop caring or die in style so its all good)
What about you Dakka?

What kind of love are we talking about? I love my brother and if he were getting married tomorrow I would be happy for him.

Are we are talking about someone you pined for but sat on the sidelines and watched as they dated, got engaged, and finally were getting married? I would probably move on with my life as it seems I wasn't that motivated, or they weren't that interested, to begin with so I shouldn't have been wasting the time and energy.

Three-way marriage?

 Ahtman wrote:
What kind of love are we talking about? I love my brother and if he were getting married tomorrow I would be happy for him.

Are we are talking about someone you pined for but sat on the sidelines and watched as they dated, got engaged, and finally were getting married? I would probably move on with my life as it seems I wasn't that motivated, or they weren't that interested, to begin with so I shouldn't have been wasting the time and energy.

Romantic Love
For me atm the person I love was already in a relationship when I met her so not much I could do...

 DukeBadham wrote:
Romantic Love
For me atm the person I love was already in a relationship when I met her so not much I could do...

Congratulations, you've learned an important life lesson: don't fall in love with people who are already in monogamous relationships. Now what you need to do is accept that it probably wasn't love, just a fantasy about an idealized version of her that never existed. And then go find someone else. Nothing cures heartbreak like {censored}ing someone who's probably better looking anyway.

Alternatively you could sit around waiting for their miserable marriage to drive her to cheat, have some good sex, and then get murdered by her jealous husband. Your choice.

 Peregrine wrote:

 DukeBadham wrote:
Romantic Love
For me atm the person I love was already in a relationship when I met her so not much I could do...

Congratulations, you've learned an important life lesson: don't fall in love with people who are already in monogamous relationships. Now what you need to do is accept that it probably wasn't love, just a fantasy about an idealized version of her that never existed. And then go find someone else. Nothing cures heartbreak like {censored}ing someone who's probably better looking anyway.

Alternatively you could sit around waiting for their miserable marriage to drive her to cheat, have some good sex, and then get murdered by her jealous husband. Your choice.

Damn you, I'm going to be in some random place, think about what you wrote, and break out laughing my arse off!

 Peregrine wrote:

 DukeBadham wrote:
Romantic Love
For me atm the person I love was already in a relationship when I met her so not much I could do...

Congratulations, you've learned an important life lesson: don't fall in love with people who are already in monogamous relationships. Now what you need to do is accept that it probably wasn't love, just a fantasy about an idealized version of her that never existed. And then go find someone else. Nothing cures heartbreak like {censored}ing someone who's probably better looking anyway.

Alternatively you could sit around waiting for their miserable marriage to drive her to cheat, have some good sex, and then get murdered by her jealous husband. Your choice.

First post of yours that I think I've liked. Good job!

I couldn't possibly think of anything to add which Peregrine hasn't already covered.

/thread

Most ceremonies have that moment where you are allowed to object, don't they?

Speak up, declare your love, and throw caution to the winds. You'll either break up a marriage your 'beloved' wanted, and gain yourself a slim chance of getting to the same point or simply be utterly mortified, and have a very good excuse to never talk to this person again.

Gitzbitah wrote:
Most ceremonies have that moment where you are allowed to object, don't they?

Speak up, declare your love, and throw caution to the winds. You'll either break up a marriage your 'beloved' wanted, and gain yourself a slim chance of getting to the same point or simply be utterly mortified, and have a very good excuse to never talk to this person again.

The reception would be pretty awkward I imagine.

Gitzbitah wrote:
Most ceremonies have that moment where you are allowed to object, don't they?

Speak up, declare your love, and throw caution to the winds. You'll either break up a marriage your 'beloved' wanted, and gain yourself a slim chance of getting to the same point or simply be utterly mortified, and have a very good excuse to never talk to this person again.

Or you could not do this, and not have to spend the rest of your life knowing that you ruined someone's wedding for no reason. Life isn't a romantic comedy, "speaking up" in the middle of the wedding is never going to accomplish anything besides making anyone even vaguely connected to the couple think you're a .

Besides, if someone is willing to cancel their wedding plans at the last second like that you can almost guarantee that they're going to apply the same standards to other people. Even if you somehow get a relationship out of it they're going to cheat on you constantly until they dump you for someone else.

If it's got as far as the wedding day then clearly neither you nor the woman had the motivation to say anything, odds are she doesn't reciprocate your feelings, sorry but that's likely the situation. Best thing is to move on long before this point and find someone else, not hang around as her 'friend' secretly pining after them hoping on the tiny chance they'll become yours eventually. I don't think it's healthy myself. I don't have a problem which people being friends, but it's best if you're genuinely over them first. Otherwise the motives behind your attention are unwanted by her and especially by her new husband.

I'd just steer clear of their wedding unless I was really okay with it and over them. I sure as hell wouldn't interrupt it, that's the most selfish thing you can do given that it's their special day you'd be trying to feth up by making a huge scene. I'd hope anyone planning a stunt like this would be intercepted by the best man and given a little chat before being thrown out.

 Ahtman wrote:
What kind of love are we talking about? I love my brother and if he were getting married tomorrow I would be happy for him.

Are we are talking about someone you pined for but sat on the sidelines and watched as they dated, got engaged, and finally were getting married? I would probably move on with my life as it seems I wasn't that motivated, or they weren't that interested, to begin with so I shouldn't have been wasting the time and energy.

This.

I'd just gently cut off contact and try to forget about her, plenty more suitable partners out there, just have to find them.

I wouldn't recommend maintaining a friendship with this woman, if she's already committed to someone else then your just causing yourself more pain because it isn't going to happen between you unless she cheats (which if anything would say a lot about how she would treat you if you entered a relationship with her afterwards, she'd probably just do the same to you.)

Make some new friends if possible, there's 7.106 billion people out there, I'm sure there's more than a few of them you'd find yourself being compatible to.

 DukeBadham wrote:
I would break down and cry on the inside, pretend I don't care on the out side, be carry on being her friend after, and make many, MANY dirty jokes at any and all opportunities, and suddenly find my hip flask and maintain its stylish to carry it and drink out of it at all times (and keep it topped up with everclear, either I'll stop caring or die in style so its all good)
What about you Dakka?

You back away, and you know that too. You just want to be told what you already know because you find it hard.

 Peregrine wrote:

 DukeBadham wrote:
Romantic Love
For me atm the person I love was already in a relationship when I met her so not much I could do...

Congratulations, you've learned an important life lesson: don't fall in love with people who are already in monogamous relationships. Now what you need to do is accept that it probably wasn't love, just a fantasy about an idealized version of her that never existed. And then go find someone else. Nothing cures heartbreak like {censored}ing someone who's probably better looking anyway.

Alternatively you could sit around waiting for their miserable marriage to drive her to cheat, have some good sex, and then get murdered by her jealous husband. Your choice.

Ugh, gotta agree with Peregrine. Falling for someone who wasn't available when you first met them, and you developed feelings for them? Bad call, but it sucks. Sorry for your loss, just try to keep platonic relations with people who are already in healthy relationships. To nuts with the ones in sucky ones and try to show them what a decent guy is like.

A : move on , get over her, and don't look back..or

B : Mope, pine away in the dark, eat a lot of ice cream, collect cats, construct a shrine to your lost love , and eventually have some major health problem brought on by a unhealthy lifestyle...or

C : Carbomb....works in the mid east.


best choice is A..but its nice to have options

Unrequited love is a nasty thing.

Best to just move on and find someone who's available. There's a possibility that part of your attraction is the fact that she is unattainable.

Go get laid.

 Seaward wrote:
Go get laid.

Or that.

Have you been to Thailand, OP?

Honestly, I'd probably congratulate them and wish them the best of luck in the future. If you legitimately love someone you want what's best for them, even if it doesn't involve you being in it.

After that I'd probably go back to my room, turn on the angriest metal I own loud enough to be heard in the next county, and drink myself unconscious on hard alcohol.

Punish her with thunderous penile ocular penetration. Only then will she truly see your love and offer her servitude unto you.

Seriously.