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2014/01/08 21:36:24
Subject: Monkeys and Hand Grenades, Are We In Danger?
Pliny the Elder reported that "elephants are scared by the smallest squeal of the hog".[4] Aelian[5] confirmed that elephants were frightened by squealing pigs (and rams with horns), and reported that the Romans exploited squealing pigs (and rams) to repel the war elephants of Pyrrhus in 275 BC. Procopius, in History of the Wars,[6] records that the defenders of Edessa suspended a squealing pig from the walls to frighten away Khosrau's single siege elephant in the sixth century AD.
Historical accounts of incendiary pigs or flaming pigs were recorded by the military writer Polyaenus[7] and by Aelian.[8] Both writers reported that Antigonus II Gonatas' siege of Megara in 266 BC was broken when the Megarians doused some pigs with combustible pitch or resin, set them alight, and drove them towards the enemy's massed war elephants. The elephants bolted in terror from the flaming, squealing pigs, often killing great numbers of their own soldiers.
God, I bet that smelled delicious.
This message was edited 1 time. Last update was at 2014/01/08 21:41:35
lord_blackfang wrote: Respect to the guy who subscribed just to post a massive ASCII dong in the chat and immediately get banned.
Flinty wrote: The benefit of slate is that its.actually a.rock with rock like properties. The downside is that it's a rock
2014/01/08 21:53:21
Subject: Monkeys and Hand Grenades, Are We In Danger?
Pliny the Elder reported that "elephants are scared by the smallest squeal of the hog".[4] Aelian[5] confirmed that elephants were frightened by squealing pigs (and rams with horns), and reported that the Romans exploited squealing pigs (and rams) to repel the war elephants of Pyrrhus in 275 BC. Procopius, in History of the Wars,[6] records that the defenders of Edessa suspended a squealing pig from the walls to frighten away Khosrau's single siege elephant in the sixth century AD.
Historical accounts of incendiary pigs or flaming pigs were recorded by the military writer Polyaenus[7] and by Aelian.[8] Both writers reported that Antigonus II Gonatas' siege of Megara in 266 BC was broken when the Megarians doused some pigs with combustible pitch or resin, set them alight, and drove them towards the enemy's massed war elephants. The elephants bolted in terror from the flaming, squealing pigs, often killing great numbers of their own soldiers.
God, I bet that smelled delicious.
Well an army does march on its stomach. So maybe the plan was to win, then harvest the delicious bacon after
2014/01/08 21:56:55
Subject: Monkeys and Hand Grenades, Are We In Danger?
JakeCWolf wrote: I was really hoping for a better reaction out of this thread, are all of you so lame that you honestly waste your time with posts like "what?" and quoting other people saying it? Seriously, do us all a favor, if you can't add more then one sentence to a post, don't respond at all, savvy?
Mandorallen turned back toward the insolently sneering baron. 'My Lord,' The great knight said distantly, 'I find thy face apelike and thy form misshapen. Thy beard, moreover, is an offence against decency, resembling more closely the scabrous fur which doth decorate the hinder portion of a mongrel dog than a proper adornment for a human face. Is it possibly that thy mother, seized by some wild lechery, did dally at some time past with a randy goat?' - Mimbrate Knight Protector Mandorallen.
Excerpt from "Seeress of Kell", Book Five of The Malloreon series by David Eddings.
"You need not fear us, unless you are a dark heart, a vile one who preys on the innocent; I promise, you can’t hide forever in the empty darkness, for we will hunt you down like the animals you are, and pull you into the very bowels of hell." Iron - Within Temptation
2014/01/08 23:08:00
Subject: Monkeys and Hand Grenades, Are We In Danger?
Easy E wrote: This sound slike it would be great in an old man of action/animal buddy movie. You know, the kind like Ronald Reagan or Clint Eastwood would star in.
Yes, a monkey can pull a pin on a hand grenade. I'm not sur ehow good they are at throwing.
I've been to the zoo. They throw crap very well! They also toss other things, but this is a family friendly forum.
TELL ME |_|
*Insert witty and/or interesting statement here*
2014/01/09 09:08:05
Subject: Monkeys and Hand Grenades, Are We In Danger?
JakeCWolf wrote: I ask this both as a semi-serious question and lulz worthy "what if?", the "Monkey Business" DLC for Far Cry 3 adds in some humorous humiliations you can do to the best player on the other team if you win and are the highest scoring player on your team, one involves the title character of said DLC running in just before the losing player is about to get done in, saying while high on drugs he taught one of his monkeys how to pull the pins on grenades, before said monkey starts dropping live grenades from a tree above, causing everyone but the unlucky loosing team member to run away leaving the poor sod to his fate.
This makes me wonder a bit, aside from that whole scene being hysterically funny, could a primate of some kind, like a chimpanzee or a Capuchin monkey, have the necessary motor skills to figure out how to pull the pin and flip the spoon on a grenade?
My reasoning for how this could happen is that a grenade, to a monkey at least, might look like a piece of fruit, (especially the old WWII style "pineapple" grenade, some of which still exist and are used by factions in third world countries to this day) and might choose to nick the grenade from a box, on a table, or even right off a soldier's belt, and might in the course of trying to peel it open to try and eat it, pull the pin out, thinking it the ineditable part of the fruit and pulling it off (out), and flipping the spoon in the process.
Smelling the gunpowder burning in the grenade (do to primates having more acute senses of smell then us) might toss it away or simply drop it and run away, where ass the soldier he pilfered it from might come pick it up, not realizing the monkey managed to make the grenade live, and get blown up in the process.
Anyone who knows hand grenades also knows it takes a fair bit of force to pull the pin out of grenade, about 50 pounds if I'm correct, but most primates have very high power to weight ratios, especially chimps which are scary strong despite their unassuming sizes, so for a monkey to have the strength to pull out the pin doesn't seem to be that big of stretch of the imagination to me.
So what does everyone else think? Could it happen in real life, or only as a cliche lulzy joke in fiction?
Have you ever thrown a grenade? They don't burn gunpowder, first of all. They are a delayed charge activated by tripping several safeties that ignites a solid explosive compound, which then releases a huge amount of energy and breaks the metal case and throws flak everywhere. No, it doesn't take 50 pounds of force. Literally, pull the pin out like you'd unplug a tight USB plug. In addition to the pin, there is a thumb clip that keeps that on, and a grip safety that does not start the reaction until it is released. These safeties would not deter someone who knew what it was.
A primate would have no idea that what he was holding was a restricted explosive device, and would probably fething explode before he time to tell all his chimp friends the secret to attacking humans with them.
2014/01/09 09:20:52
Subject: Monkeys and Hand Grenades, Are We In Danger?
JakeCWolf wrote: I ask this both as a semi-serious question and lulz worthy "what if?", the "Monkey Business" DLC for Far Cry 3 adds in some humorous humiliations you can do to the best player on the other team if you win and are the highest scoring player on your team, one involves the title character of said DLC running in just before the losing player is about to get done in, saying while high on drugs he taught one of his monkeys how to pull the pins on grenades, before said monkey starts dropping live grenades from a tree above, causing everyone but the unlucky loosing team member to run away leaving the poor sod to his fate.
This makes me wonder a bit, aside from that whole scene being hysterically funny, could a primate of some kind, like a chimpanzee or a Capuchin monkey, have the necessary motor skills to figure out how to pull the pin and flip the spoon on a grenade?
My reasoning for how this could happen is that a grenade, to a monkey at least, might look like a piece of fruit, (especially the old WWII style "pineapple" grenade, some of which still exist and are used by factions in third world countries to this day) and might choose to nick the grenade from a box, on a table, or even right off a soldier's belt, and might in the course of trying to peel it open to try and eat it, pull the pin out, thinking it the ineditable part of the fruit and pulling it off (out), and flipping the spoon in the process.
Smelling the gunpowder burning in the grenade (do to primates having more acute senses of smell then us) might toss it away or simply drop it and run away, where ass the soldier he pilfered it from might come pick it up, not realizing the monkey managed to make the grenade live, and get blown up in the process.
Anyone who knows hand grenades also knows it takes a fair bit of force to pull the pin out of grenade, about 50 pounds if I'm correct, but most primates have very high power to weight ratios, especially chimps which are scary strong despite their unassuming sizes, so for a monkey to have the strength to pull out the pin doesn't seem to be that big of stretch of the imagination to me.
So what does everyone else think? Could it happen in real life, or only as a cliche lulzy joke in fiction?
Have you ever thrown a grenade? They don't burn gunpowder, first of all. They are a delayed charge activated by tripping several safeties that ignites a solid explosive compound, which then releases a huge amount of energy and breaks the metal case and throws flak everywhere. No, it doesn't take 50 pounds of force. Literally, pull the pin out like you'd unplug a tight USB plug. In addition to the pin, there is a thumb clip that keeps that on, and a grip safety that does not start the reaction until it is released. These safeties would not deter someone who knew what it was.
A primate would have no idea that what he was holding was a restricted explosive device, and would probably fething explode before he time to tell all his chimp friends the secret to attacking humans with them.
I lolled.
"yo, bros, I figured out hox to gets them peeps xho keep breaking our trees. all you gotta do is pull this out, then you just ha-" BOOM.
THE NEXT DAY.
"last night the burnt bodies of four orangatangs were found outside of an olive plantation.
*Insert witty and/or interesting statement here*
2014/01/09 16:28:58
Subject: Re:Monkeys and Hand Grenades, Are We In Danger?
I ask this both as a semi-serious question and lulz worthy "what if?", the "Monkey Business" DLC for Far Cry 3 adds in some humorous humiliations you can do to the best player on the other team if you win and are the highest scoring player on your team, one involves the title character of said DLC running in just before the losing player is about to get done in, saying while high on drugs he taught one of his monkeys how to pull the pins on grenades, before said monkey starts dropping live grenades from a tree above, causing everyone but the unlucky loosing team member to run away leaving the poor sod to his fate.
This makes me wonder a bit, aside from that whole scene being hysterically funny, could a primate of some kind, like a chimpanzee or a Capuchin monkey, have the necessary motor skills to figure out how to pull the pin and flip the spoon on a grenade?
My reasoning for how this could happen is that a grenade, to a monkey at least, might look like a piece of fruit, (especially the old WWII style "pineapple" grenade, some of which still exist and are used by factions in third world countries to this day) and might choose to nick the grenade from a box, on a table, or even right off a soldier's belt, and might in the course of trying to peel it open to try and eat it, pull the pin out, thinking it the ineditable part of the fruit and pulling it off (out), and flipping the spoon in the process.
Smelling the gunpowder burning in the grenade (do to primates having more acute senses of smell then us) might toss it away or simply drop it and run away, where ass the soldier he pilfered it from might come pick it up, not realizing the monkey managed to make the grenade live, and get blown up in the process.
Anyone who knows hand grenades also knows it takes a fair bit of force to pull the pin out of grenade, about 50 pounds if I'm correct, but most primates have very high power to weight ratios, especially chimps which are scary strong despite their unassuming sizes, so for a monkey to have the strength to pull out the pin doesn't seem to be that big of stretch of the imagination to me.
So what does everyone else think? Could it happen in real life, or only as a cliche lulzy joke in fiction?
Starts a thread that is pretty questionable to begin with...
JakeCWolf wrote: I was really hoping for a better reaction out of this thread, are all of you so lame that you honestly waste your time with posts like "what?" and quoting other people saying it? Seriously, do us all a favor, if you can't add more then one sentence to a post, don't respond at all, savvy?
Mandorallen turned back toward the insolently sneering baron. 'My Lord,' The great knight said distantly, 'I find thy face apelike and thy form misshapen. Thy beard, moreover, is an offence against decency, resembling more closely the scabrous fur which doth decorate the hinder portion of a mongrel dog than a proper adornment for a human face. Is it possibly that thy mother, seized by some wild lechery, did dally at some time past with a randy goat?' - Mimbrate Knight Protector Mandorallen.
Excerpt from "Seeress of Kell", Book Five of The Malloreon series by David Eddings.
"You need not fear us, unless you are a dark heart, a vile one who preys on the innocent; I promise, you can’t hide forever in the empty darkness, for we will hunt you down like the animals you are, and pull you into the very bowels of hell." Iron - Within Temptation
2014/01/09 19:43:27
Subject: Monkeys and Hand Grenades, Are We In Danger?
You need to prove that they don't exist. If you can't prove that then they have to exist.
But how do I know you exist? I can't prove that you exist - only you can do that. However I'm not sure you exist, so I can't trust your proof of your own existence. If, therefore, you do not exist - and I doubt that you do - then why should I have to prove that God threads don't exist to someone who themselves does not exist?
This message was edited 1 time. Last update was at 2014/01/09 20:29:14
Mandorallen turned back toward the insolently sneering baron. 'My Lord,' The great knight said distantly, 'I find thy face apelike and thy form misshapen. Thy beard, moreover, is an offence against decency, resembling more closely the scabrous fur which doth decorate the hinder portion of a mongrel dog than a proper adornment for a human face. Is it possibly that thy mother, seized by some wild lechery, did dally at some time past with a randy goat?' - Mimbrate Knight Protector Mandorallen.
Excerpt from "Seeress of Kell", Book Five of The Malloreon series by David Eddings.
"You need not fear us, unless you are a dark heart, a vile one who preys on the innocent; I promise, you can’t hide forever in the empty darkness, for we will hunt you down like the animals you are, and pull you into the very bowels of hell." Iron - Within Temptation
2014/01/09 20:29:10
Subject: Monkeys and Hand Grenades, Are We In Danger?
You need to prove that they don't exist. If you can't prove that then they have to exist.
But how do I know you exist? I can't prove that you exist - only you can do that. However I'm not sure you exist, so I can't trust your proof of your own existence. If, therefore, you do not exist - and I doubt that you do - then why should I have to prove that God threads don't exist to someone who themselves does not exist?
We need to go deeper...
This message was edited 1 time. Last update was at 2014/01/09 20:29:53
2014/01/09 20:34:49
Subject: Monkeys and Hand Grenades, Are We In Danger?
Kilkrazy wrote: This question can only be solved by giving the monkeys and the dolphins flame-throwers.
That's a good idea actually, but I gave the Dolphin a stogie instead, oh well, I did it for the lulz anyhow, so this entire "why did you post this" reaction is more or less invalid.
2014/01/09 21:36:58
Subject: Monkeys and Hand Grenades, Are We In Danger?
Part of the competition rules would be to let each side fight in its preferred terrain.
If you want to complicate it, you could run a series of matches; first in the water, then on land, then on a mixed environment, then in hot air balloons. If necessary there could be a deciding round in baked beans.
No Mercy! No Pity! No Remorse! 
