Vampires, Samurai, Hair Metal, and a '58 Corvette-Yipyioh's NEW Consolidated Vampire Counts/IG Blog!

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**Yipyioh**

This video is relevant in two ways... take a look if you want, or skip it as you desire. Just read the rest of the post, eh?

So, yeah! I'm not dead yet, much to the dismay of anybody who likes painted miniatures. And to them I say, "My grey army of doom is still more badass than yours!"

Indeed folks, I'm back after a 9 month haitus (who knew transferring to a new college was actually a hassle?) and more pumped than ever to show off what little I've come up with in between classes. To elaborate on the title, I am proud to say I have TWO, count 'em, TWO! Armies now! As such, rather than necro-ing my old IG thread that was a bit of a mess, I figured I'd just start anew and only throw up what is now relevant, since I no longer own the majority of that stuff anyways. If my signature is correct though, somehow I gained around 5000 points of IG over that time period, and even I don't really know how that happened. So, why don't I just take it step by step as I try to piece together how this all came about. I'll try to figure out where I'm going with all of this in the process!

Seeing as how the majority of my IG is currently in storage, I'll only post pictures as I pull things out and as I find pictures I've taken over the last 9 months. So rather than start with that, I think I'll just jump straight into the part I'm nerdgasming over, the real reason I got back on here to restart this little painting blog.

Now before you all groan about the concept because it seems like I'm just jumping on the bandwagon in the wake of Nagash's release, hear this; I defy ANY OF YOU to find a Vampire Counts army with more sheer badassery than what I'm making right now. Seriously. I've tried. Nobody has done anything like what I'm doing, as far as I've been able to see. So if YOU want to see some kickass awesome conversions, stick around. I can't gurantee anything will be painted anytime soon, but you're all free to shamelessly bathe in the positive waves I'm putting out with these dudes.

Read the following if you think you may be offended by anything you'd find in a movie or game rated higher than PG or T...

Spoiler:

So without further ado, down to brass tacks! What the hell am I going on about? 70's/80's METAL THEMED VAMPIRE COUNTS ARMY, THAT'S WHAT! If you want a quick idea of what I mean, scroll down to the bottom of this post and observe the picture.

But you may then be wondering, "How is this going to fit into the Fantasyhammer world? How do you work it? How do you make this GW legal? What is this I don't even?!?!?"

The only answer I give you is the one rule that I run my life by: The Rule of Cool. Therefore, I win. I absolutely do not care about this being GW legal, as I do not play in tournaments whatsoever and anyone who's met me on the tabletop gives me leeway to continue my third-party antics simply because I'm just that fun of a guy. For a more complete explanation as to what direction I'm taking this, take a look at this next spoiler'd section! I'll keep it extremely short and devoid of most detail just to throw out a basic idea. I don't want to bore you all too badly too soon.

Spoiler:

Imagine, if you will, two brothers born in the late 1960's. One (I haven't named them yet. Let's just call this first one Marco for now) , the younger by exactly nine months, grows up rather hot-headed with a violent streak and a penchant for all of the finer "physical pleasures" in life. The elder (how about I name him David), instead, develops a taste for knowledge and, being the brother of his own, winds up being even more of a delinquent than his sibling as they age, though with a bit more dignity. During their teenage years they began manifesting vampiric powers (for whatever reason. Suspend your disbelief for this one time, eh?), devolving eventually into... Well, pretty much the rocker/biker gangers from the Lost Boys. Simple enough, yeah?

So then one day the bookish one was screwing around with magic ritual mumbo jumbo or some such nonesense and then suddenly, *BAM!* they both wind up in a sort of medieval battlefield with a bunch of humans and elves and what have you facing off against a horde of skeletons and zombies. The battle finishes, the brothers go talk to the victorious Vampires who hail them as counts of some unknown bloodline (since they're obviously not from any of the Fantasyhammer bloodlines), and they inadvertently figure out their powers have been amplified due to when/where they are now. Instead of freaking out and scrambling to get back to their own world, Marco turns to David and says, "Dude... Here, WE. ARE. THE. S***! Let's go f*** somebody's s*** up and see what kind of hell we can raise while we're here!"

This statement was met with a grin and a rocker's horn fist. \m/

And raise hell, they did. Can you only imagine what kind of madness ensues when a pair of biker punk vampires from the 1980's gets slapped back into the days of Fantasyhammer? Exactly. THAT kind of madness. Welcome to the Jungle, my friends.

Sure, they started small. Killing off an Empire patrol here, some dwarf rangers there, and figuring out how to raise a few skeletons and rip some ghosts from their graves... But after a while, they started to give some of the other Vampire Counts a run for their money. When the news of their gallivanting about started to sweep through the societies of the undead, suddenly the brothers found themselves the focus of extreme scrutiny and fascination; not only were the other counts curious as to who the hell these gaudy and bawdy interlopers were, but they were also cautious of the fact that the duo were beginning to attract the attention of the venerable Blood Knights whose attempts to find worthy opponents resonated with the brothers' attempts to raise all kinds of hell by ambushing the most powerful armies they could come across.

The brothers themselves simply found the whole thing to be amusing. Here, there was nothing to worry about. No obligations, no need to worry about being arrested, and nobody harping on you about what college you're going to go to after the next summer. David could plunder any library or torture any magicians he came across to expand his exponentially growing magical repertoire, and Marco could revel in all of the bloodshed and Vampire groupie "handmaidens" he could ever ask for. Life was good for them, but both of them began to feel that something was missing from their lives... They felt out of place in this strange world, surrounded by nothing but shambling skeletons in ancient, rusty armor and bland, boring skeleton horses and ragged peasant zombies. Even the handmaidens, though very... "Accommodating," just came off as weird with their laced-up tops and bouffant hairstyles. It was almost like they were homesick in a way, but one day, finally, Marco hit it right on the head. They needed something to set them apart from all the rest of the uptight jackasses who called themselves the Vampire Counts. They needed some panache, man!

And hell yes, they got it.

I'll post some pictures shortly with a a continuation of the story stuck with each picture.

The following picture essentially says it all...

EDIT: Decided to be a bit more conscientious about any profanity which may or may not wind up being part of my story. Somebody tell me what I can and can't do if there's a problem.

**deadmeat85**

That's what Vampires should look like. Looking forward to more......

**Yipyioh**

deadmeat85 wrote:

That's what Vampires should look like. Looking forward to more......

Ask and ye shall receive. A short taste of what I've been working on and have managed to upload... And a short anecdote to add commentary.

Spoiler:

Marco, watching David making a bunch of lights with his magic while exhaling smoke from some sort of hand-rolled Wood Elf plant-based cigar: "Okay, dude, dude, David, man, I think I got it."

David: "Got what, buddy?"

Marco: "I got it, man! What we've been missing! See, look... We came here and saw all those Vampire Count dudes, right? With all their zombie dragons and ghosts and skeletons and all that... So what did we do?"

David: "We... Did what they did because it was obviously a good idea? Are you COMPLAINING that we have an army?"

Marco: "No, man, no! You're not getting me, here. I'm not saying we shouldn't have done that - I mean, as long as it gets us groupies, I'm down. But I mean... Did we have to do it the same way they did?

David: "What, you'd prefer we forget the magic and just start moving them ourselves like puppets? F*** man, forget it and just go get one of those handmaidens to give you another - "

Marco: "Hold up, you're still not getting me. I'm trying to say, those other vamps? They're pricks. They're arrogant pricks who're all the same. So why do we have to be the same, huh? Why do we have to use the same f***ing skeletons as them? Ride the same 'damned' horses they do?"

David: "Alright, alright, I'll humor you... What, then, do you suggest, brother dearest?"

Marco: "Well... When you bring these guys up outta the ground... In reality you're putting the clothes and armor on them, right? Just dragging the bones up, making 'em dance, and then putting some magic metal and weapons on them so they're not just ugly stiffs, yeah?"

David: "Correct..."

Marco: "So why the hell do you make them look exactly like all the skeletons every other vampire jacka** throws out? They've got no imagination, man! There's nothing cool about it past the fact that it's a skeleton. Now hear me out, man... Skeletons are cool, sure. They're freaky, sure. But you know what's more badass than a skeleton? Motherflipping SAMURAI skeletons, that's what! *Claps* BOOM! Your mind just got blown bro!"

David (sighing and chuckling at the same time): "Ohhhhhh, man... What the hell would I do without you, brother?"

Marco: "You wouldn't... Oh, but this is just the beginning, man... Let me lay it all on you...

**soulcow**

I've used the search function to make sure I haven't missed any words, but may I ask what samurai have to do with hair metal? :p
I do think both ideas are crazy and therefore I will follow this thread, but I'm curious how you will link them.
And I really lolled at this last piece of text, 'coming up with samurai skeletons because of the wood elf leaves' ^^

**Yipyioh**

soulcow wrote:
I've used the search function to make sure I haven't missed any words, but may I ask what samurai have to do with hair metal? :p
I do think both ideas are crazy and therefore I will follow this thread, but I'm curious how you will link them.
And I really lolled at this last piece of text, 'coming up with samurai skeletons because of the wood elf leaves' ^^

To be frank, Samurai have nothing to do with hair metal for the most part. But they DO have to do with the 80's! Kinda. Despite the anti-Japanese sentiment that Wikipedia assures me was flying around America in the 80's, I am also assured by my knowledge of pop culture and nerd friends who are twice my age that this was also the time period that people starting realizing Japan was frickin' sweet! At which point katana and ninja started showing up every which way because reasons. I point you to Connor MacLeod of Highlander.

As for the wood elf leaves... I am really not terribly familiar with the world of Fantasy, and even if I was I probably wouldn't give its fluff a second glace. But at any rate, that's just the best Fantasy moniker I could come up with for riding the magical dragon, because who else but those tree-hugging wood elves would be able to produce such a fine sliver of the land to enjoy?

So I guess it's worth mentioning that this army isn't strictly hair-metal... It's more expansive in the overall theme of the 80's. Much of it is going to be inspired by metal album covers and such, however. I now point you to this list for examples: http://ps3.gamespy.com/playstation-3/vivendi-games-double-fine-project/983097p1.html

But honestly, I gotta hand it to Meatloaf for being my primary inspiration. Not hair metal, sure, but... Still.

Spoiler:

Rest assured I'll probably be making some Necromancer models at some point based off of Rob Halford, Ozzy, or Rob Zombie.

More pics being added tonight once I write the accompanying fluff!

**Yipyioh**

Or, I could completely forget and not get around to it until this morning. Anyways, here's the next set of up-to-date pictures. This time, the beginnings of my cavalry. Until I get more of these models and some suitable riders, I'll use them as counts-as Blood Knights. Once I have enough, I'll drop any skeleton-riders to be Black Knights. The guy on the far left is going to be Marco on his mount. I'm just waiting for a helmet to come from Pig Iron before I finish assembling his model. Also it will quickly become obvious that yes, Goblins are going to be getting the boot to the head when it comes to violent comedic relief in my army. The one shown in this picture will also be ON FIRE. Whether this is will be due due to the sheer concentration of heavy metal in a single model or the flamer in Marco's left hand, I do not know.

Spoiler:

Automatically Appended Next Post:
Oh I suppose I might as well throw up the picture of the models I'll be using for Marco and David when they're on foot (mostly). If I think of any fluff to accompany this picture later... I'll find a way to incorporate it. The right two will be the models I'll be primarily using, with the far right most likely being David and the middle being Marco. Or maybe I'll switch that, we'll see how I feel when I actually start getting the details on them. I'll paint them up with leather jackets, sweet hair, some blood magic effects, maybe some fire on the ground or something... But the guns are staying. Those will probably be my excuse for whatever magic weapons they're toting. Because the man bringing a gun to a magic sword fight pretty much fits right in.

The third miniature on the left just happened to come with the other two. I stuck him in the picture because I'd just watched Pulp Fiction the night before. Meh.