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Just wondering - From people who have/have had high school significant others, is it worth it? Just a poll for interest

As someone who didnt, I would say yes. Because it gets the awkwardness of dating out of your system.
I never did that, at its a pain to do in college

I never did, but I know a ton of people who did.

Its not worth it. You're just going to go through a ton of angst and emotional problems for no gain other than regrets and broken friendships. Wait till you and your potential dates are physically and emotionally mature. It will be more productive.

I said yes, because you learn what you do and don't like. You learn different skills than you would if you haven't dated. even though I am not with anyone I dated in high school anymore, I still can look back and have memories of, "wow, I was dumb" or "wow, He/she was horrible"

I'm also wondering if the experience gained is worth the time/money/effort wasted.
Any answers?

Absolutely. You could go on a $50 date every weekend for the rest of your high school career- I'm quite certain it would never equal the price , pain or effort of a divorce. I don't think I dated more than a dozen women before I got married, but they all helped me get to the point I needed to be to make an informed decision. Anything you can do to assure that you know what you like in a mate is worth it.

It would be best to go in knowing you weren't ready for anything serious.

I had two steady girlfriends in high school (or our equivalent of it), one at the same school and one at another (not at the same time). I don't recommend doing the former. To me, it killed Independent George.

The latter was better, because I was much more relaxed in school, there were no "obligations" so to speak, no rumours about us going around and I could talk and innocently flirt with other girls without there being "drama", as they say.

So yeah, I'd say it's worth it. Having a girlfriend at that age is fun, but being around her all day in that environment is dreadful. At least for me, it was.

As for time/money/effort, it is a bit of an investment on all three, but it's really up to you and your priorities. What else would you do with your time/money/effort? Feels like a stupid thing to ask on a wargaming forum, but it's a rhetorical question

Im in the no camp, waste of time and just setting yourself up for heartache and emotional trauma, 16 year olds are absolutely clueless as to what they want out of life, let alone a relationship.

Thatbdoesnt mean you cant or shouldnt date, I just recommend getting too invested emotionally into a single person.

If your within dating age of high school individuals then one really has not experience life yet.

70% of learning is doing.

At that young age though. On a guy 90% of the thought process occurs below the belt line

If you realize that it is just a short term relationship yes, if you think that it is the end of your dating life and your soul mate, no.

Married the girl I started dating since I was 16.

Why is this only a "Yes or No" poll shouldn't there be a "sometimes"? Anyways I lean more towards yes than no as you'll gain experience from the event and learn more about yourself.

I'd say just about any experience you could have in high school is worth having. At that time you're you're at peak of emotional sensitivity you will never reach again. Your brain is literally going through structural changes that mean you feel and experience things with an intensity you will be physically incapable of feeling later in life.There are few things an adult can experience that can reach the same emotional extremes teenagers often feel just going from day to day.

Boyfriends, Girlfriends, school clubs, that dumbass gak your buddy wants to do, go into whatever you can with a gusto. Those things happening in context of your formative years are literally once in a lifetime opportunities. Time is one way trip, make the most of your current stop while you're there.

High school sucked. However, they were my formative years and the reason I am the person I am today. I still talk to some of the women I dated in high school (much to my wife's irritation ) because after we grew up and moved past all the stupid teenage drama, we realized that along the way we had forged a real friendship. All of the things you experience in life are worth it.

For what it's worth, I married the girl I went out with in 8th grade. Also, my parents are high school sweethearts that have been married over 35 years... so you never know.

People can meet in HS and end up together, I just don't think it is a good idea going in being certain that it will. If it works out, great, if not move on. Statistically it isn't very likely, but there are exceptions. Of course this is looking at more recent times. When women couldn't or would be discouraged from post-secondary education it was more likely to marry a High School relationship, for example.

Depends. I think dating in high school is good, you learn more about yourself. But going with the idea that this person is going to be your husband/wife is bad. Oddly enough, the girl I dated my senior year I ended up marrying and we've been together for 7 years, but Neither of us went in with that expectation. We've also dated other people before, so that really helps make a relationship. I think you can end up marrying you high school sweetheart, but going in with that expectation ruins it. Also, never date people because you think you HAVE to be in a relationship. But also, never stay in one for that reason too. If you're unhappy, don't date that person anymore.

 Cheesecat wrote:
Why is this only a "Yes or No" poll shouldn't there be a "sometimes"? Anyways I lean more towards yes than no as you'll gain experience from the event and learn more about yourself.

Good point, but I knew lots of people would say "sometimes," since this is a morally grey area with no clear right/wrong answer.

 jreilly89 wrote:
Depends. I think dating in high school is good, you learn more about yourself. But going with the idea that this person is going to be your husband/wife is bad. Oddly enough, the girl I dated my senior year I ended up marrying and we've been together for 7 years, but Neither of us went in with that expectation. We've also dated other people before, so that really helps make a relationship. I think you can end up marrying you high school sweetheart, but going in with that expectation ruins it. Also, never date people because you think you HAVE to be in a relationship. But also, never stay in one for that reason too. If you're unhappy, don't date that person anymore.

First off, good for you for marrying your high-school girlfriend. Can one not also learn more about yourself from simply spending a lot of time alone or if you can talk to some people of the other gender a lot? I'm going with that route, simply b/c it allows me more time/effort to be able to do Boy Scouts and 40K.

If it's what you want, sure...why not? If it's pressure from a guy/gal who fancies you? Watch the movie Fatal Attraction before deciding.

Rusty Trombone wrote:
If it's what you want, sure...why not? If it's pressure from a guy/gal who fancies you? Watch the movie Fatal Attraction before deciding.

Generally I would say using movies for life advice is a bad idea, I know for me it has created some unrealistic expectations in life and has caused some bad behaviors.

I'd say yes, it will prepare you for what is to come and it can be a lot of fun sharing with someone. (although it can be quite difficult/distressing at times.)

Ultimately I found it worth it, even if just to give myself the practice, although I can understand its not for everyone.

Plus any experience, good or bad will help form you into a stronger/fuller person, even with all the various ~*^&^%$^%£$ I went through it helped shape who I am.

P.S. If you hadn't noticed, I'm pretty awesome

No girl would date me then, so I had no idea what dating really was when I grew up and a large part of me still doesn't get it.

 Cheesecat wrote:

Rusty Trombone wrote:
If it's what you want, sure...why not? If it's pressure from a guy/gal who fancies you? Watch the movie Fatal Attraction before deciding.

Generally I would say using movies for life advice is a bad idea, I know for me it has created some unrealistic expectations in life and has caused some bad behaviors.

I wrote that (mostly) in jest. I trust Hollywood to entertain, not advise.

Yeah, I hope so I wouldn't want the OP's life to start resembling a thriller film.

Not really worth it IMO, due in part to it unlikely to be meaningful due to the immaturity and often unrealistic expectations of young people during that age. Things like getting your first job or getting your driver's licence seem to be a lot more important in getting real life experience at this point in life, you have plenty of opportunities in dating later on anyhow, unless you know you're going to die within 3 years or something.

Take chances. Do it. Live a little.

I dated a girl in grade nine, we broke up, moved on, saw other people...

Met up at a party six years later, and have since made a wonderful life together. Mortgage, kids, couple of cars, you know, the Canadian dream. Neither of us would have been the people we became without the other romantic entanglements between those times.

There's a lot of good and bad that can come from dating in your younger years, but I'd say it was worth it. I don't regret any of it, but I was safe and didn't wind up with a lifelong reminder of anyone, if you catch my drift. You find out about others, and yourself. It can help you decide the person you want to become, and the kind of person you want to be with.

A man that always eats at home believes his mother to be the best cook in the world... but the only way to know for sure is to eat at other places. That's not as dirty as it might sound...

Drama's not all bad, spice of life. Just play safe, and realize that chances are good that you aren't going to wind up with someone you date in your youth. Don't be afraid to try new things, or make "mistakes" because it usually just leads to experience, which is nice. Being in relationships gave me things to look forward to, and enjoy when life was otherwise kind of crappy. Sometimes it made things hurt more when things broke, but life's a risk, and you'll heal up. People are remarkably resilient creatures, just remember that high school is nothing like adult reality. You graduate, and all of a sudden you're at square one again.

More than anything, remember that Highschool is over after 4 years, and the rest of your life is waaaayyy better than Highschool. Have fun, and be careful of yourself and your partners.

 greatbigtree wrote:
High school is over after 4 years, and the rest of your life is waaaayyy better than high school.

Yes.. yes... yes... YES! I pity anyone that says high school was the best years of their life; my life has become exponentially better and more fulfilling as I've gotten older... and I had a pretty good time as a teenager.

Going to high school itself, sucks. However, I had a great time in school with the people I knew and the things I did; I was a dirty skater punk that played in a metal band and I had a circle of friends from just about every clique you could think of. I dated a few girls long term, especially towards the end of high school and after; I dated the same girl from about halfway through junior year all the way through senior year (she was a year behind me and we broke up right after I graduated... we're still friends today). We went through all the lame teenager drama and in the end, I learned a lot about myself and it made me a better person.

You also have to realize that heartbreak and bull gak is going to happen to you in life, hiding from it in your formative years won't make dealing with it later any easier.

SirSertile wrote:
Just wondering - From people who have/have had high school significant others, is it worth it? Just a poll for interest

High school is the last good place you have to be stupid and do things that you'll get to laugh about later. Go for it, just don't do anything that's so stupid it'll follow you for the rest of your life.

Besides, it lets you get all the learning out of the way now. Way better to do that when you're 16 and nobody knows what the hell they're doing than when you're 21 and in college.