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Hello:

I was just over the mall and seen someone who I know is going to get his... kicked he was rude when asking for a game from the case he never said thank you to the worker no please. Cut people off and was telling them how where he is from is better and going on and on. It was gettng a bit annoying and people around him where not looking so happy.

Now here is my question when you travel to a different country do you try and figure out the local customs to make sure your not being rude? Or how do you get ready for it?

You should try and learn as much about local customs, culture, and language as you can prior to going, and should continue to learn after you arrive. In all cases you should be polite, gracious, and dignified. Don't be like that guy, and don't ever be like "Where I'm from we (insert rude comment about how you think your home country is better)."

Dare I ask, but was that guy an American?

Its ingrained in me to very polite
Mother is Thai and believe in good manners. (reinforced with wooden utensils and one time a steel Wok)
Spent majority of my young adult life in the South and pretty much learned how to be a "Southern Gentleman" in manners and in being polite

I will say though. One of the "habits" I picked up was calling other S/M's "Brother". Short of "Battle Brother" which derived from "Battle Buddy"
Individual took offense when I said "Thanks for the direction Brother" till his friend told him its a military thing which he asked me to clarify. Verbal sign of "camaderie"

 Jihadin wrote:
Its ingrained in me to very polite
Mother is Thai and believe in good manners. (reinforced with wooden utensils and one time a steel Wok)
Spent majority of my young adult life in the South and pretty much learned how to be a "Southern Gentleman" in manners and in being polite

I will say though. One of the "habits" I picked up was calling other S/M's "Brother". Short of "Battle Brother" which derived from "Battle Buddy"
Individual took offense when I said "Thanks for the direction Brother" till his friend told him its a military thing which he asked me to clarify. Verbal sign of "camaderie"

What country were you in? I'm kind of surprised someone actually took offense to "brother."

 Hordini wrote:

 Jihadin wrote:
Its ingrained in me to very polite
Mother is Thai and believe in good manners. (reinforced with wooden utensils and one time a steel Wok)
Spent majority of my young adult life in the South and pretty much learned how to be a "Southern Gentleman" in manners and in being polite

I will say though. One of the "habits" I picked up was calling other S/M's "Brother". Short of "Battle Brother" which derived from "Battle Buddy"
Individual took offense when I said "Thanks for the direction Brother" till his friend told him its a military thing which he asked me to clarify. Verbal sign of "camaderie"

What country were you in? I'm kind of surprised someone actually took offense to "brother."

Probably America and he was probably talking to an African American, I have the same problem. I refer to other people as Brother all the time and it sometimes wrong foots people.

 Ghazkuul wrote:

 Hordini wrote:

 Jihadin wrote:
Its ingrained in me to very polite
Mother is Thai and believe in good manners. (reinforced with wooden utensils and one time a steel Wok)
Spent majority of my young adult life in the South and pretty much learned how to be a "Southern Gentleman" in manners and in being polite

I will say though. One of the "habits" I picked up was calling other S/M's "Brother". Short of "Battle Brother" which derived from "Battle Buddy"
Individual took offense when I said "Thanks for the direction Brother" till his friend told him its a military thing which he asked me to clarify. Verbal sign of "camaderie"

What country were you in? I'm kind of surprised someone actually took offense to "brother."

Probably America and he was probably talking to an African American, I have the same problem. I refer to other people as Brother all the time and it sometimes wrong foots people.

Got it in One

I wondered but I wanted to make sure, since originally we were talking about being in a foreign country. I think some confusion would be understandable, but actual offense I was surprised at.

Usually a good idea to take a good look around you to see how everyone else is acting before making a move, especially if you're at a restaurant/table and unsure of the customs.

Had a professor that was working in South America. Ordered a coke and proceeded to drink directly from the bottle- which he then noticed everyone was staring at him. Looking around he saw everyone was using a straw. Something to do with hygiene at the local bottling plant.

Countries/areas where everyone is very polite are ofc nice, but you'll also have to be extra careful keeping to the customs there. A normal rude westerner will tell you if you irritate him, but someone used to a higher standard of behavior might just take it until he explodes.

Think twice about using hand signs. We think thumbs up means everything's OK, for example, but in quite a few places it's a rude gesture suggesting you should get something up your butt.

So yes, I certainly support having a look at local customs before going somewhere very different from home.

When traveling I always think of it like this; I am in someone else's country for a short time. It was there long before I was and it will most likely be there long after I'm gone. The people who live there have developed their own customs, language, and culture. It is not their responsibility to adapt to me. It is my responsibility to adapt to them.

I wouldn't go into someone else's house and try and make them live their lives differently while I am there. I am a guest and should act accordingly.

Always be polite, remember the person serving you is simply trying to make a living just like you, the perosn you ask for directions from, might have had a really gak week at work whilst you're enjoying the sun and beers so take that into account and dont be rude, the locals in the bar might not share your world views so dont go bragging that your country owns etc etc etc.

Dakkas rule #1 seems kinda fitting tbh. At the end of the day we're all humans trying to make it through. A line on a map means little in the bigger scale of things.

Yeah, don't bring up "how they do it back home" even if there's no malice or wistfulness about it.

Try to learn how to say something along the lines of hello in their language. I haven't met a single person whose primary language wasn't English that didn't love it when I tried to use their language.

For the record, I've only been to Mexico and Kenya.

 Ghazkuul wrote:

 Hordini wrote:

 Jihadin wrote:
Its ingrained in me to very polite
Mother is Thai and believe in good manners. (reinforced with wooden utensils and one time a steel Wok)
Spent majority of my young adult life in the South and pretty much learned how to be a "Southern Gentleman" in manners and in being polite

I will say though. One of the "habits" I picked up was calling other S/M's "Brother". Short of "Battle Brother" which derived from "Battle Buddy"
Individual took offense when I said "Thanks for the direction Brother" till his friend told him its a military thing which he asked me to clarify. Verbal sign of "camaderie"

What country were you in? I'm kind of surprised someone actually took offense to "brother."

Probably America and he was probably talking to an African American, I have the same problem. I refer to other people as Brother all the time and it sometimes wrong foots people.

It's also a Muslim thing.
At least it is in Saudi, The polite way to address someone whose name you don't know is "Brother" or for a woman "Sister"

Saw a cousin off to Japan for two years last week and my wife yesterday to India for two weeks.
Can't wait to get the feedback on those trips.

Yes, do the research, it will be less traumatic for both parties.
I have never seen a time when polite was a bad thing.

If you're coming to America from Canada, be prepared to offer maple syrup to everyone you meet. Otherwise it's rude.

Anywhere I go, it's "please" and "thank you". And if you're going to burp, do it with your mouth closed. "Excuse me" isn't good enough if you let out a belch everyone can hear. I have a friend who hasn't realized this: he thinks it's perfectly acceptable to belch out loud in public. Maybe in some places, but not anywhere I've been.

 Sinful Hero wrote:
Usually a good idea to take a good look around you to see how everyone else is acting before making a move, especially if you're at a restaurant/table and unsure of the customs.

Had a professor that was working in South America. Ordered a coke and proceeded to drink directly from the bottle- which he then noticed everyone was staring at him. Looking around he saw everyone was using a straw. Something to do with hygiene at the local bottling plant.

Interesting. It was strange for him to drink from a bottle, but acceptable for the local bottling plant to put people at hazard with poor practices. It makes me wonder at what country he was in down there and class of people he was with.
When I was trucking around down in the Peruvian Amazon, in my long ago youth, I was sitting in a distillation shed with some locals and we were passing a bottle of whatever alcohol it was they were making.

Relapse wrote:

 Sinful Hero wrote:
Usually a good idea to take a good look around you to see how everyone else is acting before making a move, especially if you're at a restaurant/table and unsure of the customs.

Had a professor that was working in South America. Ordered a coke and proceeded to drink directly from the bottle- which he then noticed everyone was staring at him. Looking around he saw everyone was using a straw. Something to do with hygiene at the local bottling plant.

Interesting. It was strange for him to drink from a bottle, but acceptable for the local bottling plant to put people at hazard with poor practices. It makes me wonder at what country he was in down there and class of people he was with.
When I was trucking around down in the Peruvian Amazon, in my long ago youth, I was sitting in a distillation shed with some locals and we were passing a bottle of whatever alcohol it was they were making.

I think it was more to do with public perception than actual hazard.

 Sinful Hero wrote:

Relapse wrote:

 Sinful Hero wrote:
Usually a good idea to take a good look around you to see how everyone else is acting before making a move, especially if you're at a restaurant/table and unsure of the customs.

Had a professor that was working in South America. Ordered a coke and proceeded to drink directly from the bottle- which he then noticed everyone was staring at him. Looking around he saw everyone was using a straw. Something to do with hygiene at the local bottling plant.

Interesting. It was strange for him to drink from a bottle, but acceptable for the local bottling plant to put people at hazard with poor practices. It makes me wonder at what country he was in down there and class of people he was with.
When I was trucking around down in the Peruvian Amazon, in my long ago youth, I was sitting in a distillation shed with some locals and we were passing a bottle of whatever alcohol it was they were making.

I think it was more to do with public perception than actual hazard.

The thing is, though, if I understand you correctly, it's what the people there believed and they were still willing to buy that product without guarantees of it's safety. It's like a statement from a jobs relations class I taught, "Perceptions, right or wrong, are facts to the people that believe them and should be addressed."
On another note, having worked in a hotel, I have seen tourists from other countries acting fairly badly in various manners here in the U.S. In the Valley of Fire in Nevada, I saw a group from India smashing rocks and generally messing the place up.
I think it has something to do with some people being away from their peers, family, whatever, taking license to do all those naughty things they'd like to do but would be tut tutted for at home.
Then again, some people are dicks in whatever setting they find themselves.

 Dreadclaw69 wrote:
When traveling I always think of it like this; I am in someone else's country for a short time. It was there long before I was and it will most likely be there long after I'm gone. The people who live there have developed their own customs, language, and culture. It is not their responsibility to adapt to me. It is my responsibility to adapt to them.

I wouldn't go into someone else's house and try and make them live their lives differently while I am there. I am a guest and should act accordingly.

Honestly I wish more people took this road with immigration as well....


Anyhow, yeah... When I was in Germany, I took a look around, saw how obvious many of the Americans were, and did what I could do NOT look like them or act like them. I quickly noticed that, Germans are actually fairly quiet and reserved on the whole...and we're pretty damn loud and fairly obnoxious about it. Also there was the whole thing with our military units saying things like, "Don't wear clothing with the US flag on it"... and seeing half of the guys in my unit out and about in exactly what they were told not to wear

I am always very mindful of being in Germany. I've tried to learn the language ASAP, and I am always careful to use the polite form of address in conversation with people I don't know.

Germans have different standards of politeness than Irish people, so I also try not to get annoyed when people don't smile back or apologise in certain situations, and remind myself that politeness is built into the grammar here.

Well learning local customs and a few basic words ie please, thank you, good morning can go a very long way even if your not perfect the thought is good.

Also I have worked in retail abit and if your polite I can dfo as surprising amount to help you at times within my rules and such, if you are insulting your getting nothing and I'm going to do the bare minimum as required.

Insulting staff never pays, ever.

Relapse wrote:

 Sinful Hero wrote:
Usually a good idea to take a good look around you to see how everyone else is acting before making a move, especially if you're at a restaurant/table and unsure of the customs.

Had a professor that was working in South America. Ordered a coke and proceeded to drink directly from the bottle- which he then noticed everyone was staring at him. Looking around he saw everyone was using a straw. Something to do with hygiene at the local bottling plant.

Interesting. It was strange for him to drink from a bottle, but acceptable for the local bottling plant to put people at hazard with poor practices. It makes me wonder at what country he was in down there and class of people he was with.
When I was trucking around down in the Peruvian Amazon, in my long ago youth, I was sitting in a distillation shed with some locals and we were passing a bottle of whatever alcohol it was they were making.

When we were in Kazakstan we got weird looks, and sometimes abject horror, when we asked for our soda to be cold.

 Grey Templar wrote:

Relapse wrote:

 Sinful Hero wrote:
Usually a good idea to take a good look around you to see how everyone else is acting before making a move, especially if you're at a restaurant/table and unsure of the customs.

Had a professor that was working in South America. Ordered a coke and proceeded to drink directly from the bottle- which he then noticed everyone was staring at him. Looking around he saw everyone was using a straw. Something to do with hygiene at the local bottling plant.

Interesting. It was strange for him to drink from a bottle, but acceptable for the local bottling plant to put people at hazard with poor practices. It makes me wonder at what country he was in down there and class of people he was with.
When I was trucking around down in the Peruvian Amazon, in my long ago youth, I was sitting in a distillation shed with some locals and we were passing a bottle of whatever alcohol it was they were making.

When we were in Kazakstan we got weird looks, and sometimes abject horror, when we asked for our soda to be cold.

Also when you order a espresso in Italy, with cream or milk.
It draws a odd luck, not quite abject horrer but people notice.

 jhe90 wrote:

 Grey Templar wrote:

Relapse wrote:

 Sinful Hero wrote:
Usually a good idea to take a good look around you to see how everyone else is acting before making a move, especially if you're at a restaurant/table and unsure of the customs.

Had a professor that was working in South America. Ordered a coke and proceeded to drink directly from the bottle- which he then noticed everyone was staring at him. Looking around he saw everyone was using a straw. Something to do with hygiene at the local bottling plant.

Interesting. It was strange for him to drink from a bottle, but acceptable for the local bottling plant to put people at hazard with poor practices. It makes me wonder at what country he was in down there and class of people he was with.
When I was trucking around down in the Peruvian Amazon, in my long ago youth, I was sitting in a distillation shed with some locals and we were passing a bottle of whatever alcohol it was they were making.

When we were in Kazakstan we got weird looks, and sometimes abject horror, when we asked for our soda to be cold.

Also when you order a espresso in Italy, with cream or milk.
It draws a odd luck, not quite abject horrer but people notice.

That's probably because if you want an espresso with cream or milk, you should just order a macchiato or a cappuccino.

Especially if the soda was for my younger siblings(who were all between 10 and 15 at the time). It was like some cultural thing not to give children anything cold.

 Hordini wrote:

 jhe90 wrote:

 Grey Templar wrote:

Relapse wrote:

 Sinful Hero wrote:
Usually a good idea to take a good look around you to see how everyone else is acting before making a move, especially if you're at a restaurant/table and unsure of the customs.

Had a professor that was working in South America. Ordered a coke and proceeded to drink directly from the bottle- which he then noticed everyone was staring at him. Looking around he saw everyone was using a straw. Something to do with hygiene at the local bottling plant.

Interesting. It was strange for him to drink from a bottle, but acceptable for the local bottling plant to put people at hazard with poor practices. It makes me wonder at what country he was in down there and class of people he was with.
When I was trucking around down in the Peruvian Amazon, in my long ago youth, I was sitting in a distillation shed with some locals and we were passing a bottle of whatever alcohol it was they were making.

When we were in Kazakstan we got weird looks, and sometimes abject horror, when we asked for our soda to be cold.

Also when you order a espresso in Italy, with cream or milk.
It draws a odd luck, not quite abject horrer but people notice.

That's probably because if you want an espresso with cream or milk, you should just order a macchiato or a cappuccino.

Also a good one, with good coffee made right only at the most needs a small amount of suger to be drinkable, a bad one needs all the help it can get

 Da Boss wrote:
I am always very mindful of being in Germany. I've tried to learn the language ASAP, and I am always careful to use the polite form of address in conversation with people I don't know.

Germans have different standards of politeness than Irish people, so I also try not to get annoyed when people don't smile back or apologise in certain situations, and remind myself that politeness is built into the grammar here.

My wife has noticed the pattern of everybody saying "Guten Tag" and "Auf Wiedersehe" when getting on the elevator anywhere. We will ignore you everywhere else in the store, avoid all conversation in the elevator, and we know that we will most likely never meet again. But it is still hello and goodbye on the elevator. It's one of our weird things that cracks me up.

 d-usa wrote:

 Da Boss wrote:
I am always very mindful of being in Germany. I've tried to learn the language ASAP, and I am always careful to use the polite form of address in conversation with people I don't know.

Germans have different standards of politeness than Irish people, so I also try not to get annoyed when people don't smile back or apologise in certain situations, and remind myself that politeness is built into the grammar here.

My wife has noticed the pattern of everybody saying "Guten Tag" and "Auf Wiedersehe" when getting on the elevator anywhere. We will ignore you everywhere else in the store, avoid all conversation in the elevator, and we know that we will most likely never meet again. But it is still hello and goodbye on the elevator. It's one of our weird things that cracks me up.

When sharing a small box with someone when they are close to your back and such it is always nice to make sure everyone and you show everyone your friendly .

I recommend trying to be on your best behavior for the first week or so while you figure out the locals

 jhe90 wrote:

 Hordini wrote:

 jhe90 wrote:

 Grey Templar wrote:

Relapse wrote:

 Sinful Hero wrote:
Usually a good idea to take a good look around you to see how everyone else is acting before making a move, especially if you're at a restaurant/table and unsure of the customs.

Had a professor that was working in South America. Ordered a coke and proceeded to drink directly from the bottle- which he then noticed everyone was staring at him. Looking around he saw everyone was using a straw. Something to do with hygiene at the local bottling plant.

Interesting. It was strange for him to drink from a bottle, but acceptable for the local bottling plant to put people at hazard with poor practices. It makes me wonder at what country he was in down there and class of people he was with.
When I was trucking around down in the Peruvian Amazon, in my long ago youth, I was sitting in a distillation shed with some locals and we were passing a bottle of whatever alcohol it was they were making.

When we were in Kazakstan we got weird looks, and sometimes abject horror, when we asked for our soda to be cold.

Also when you order a espresso in Italy, with cream or milk.
It draws a odd luck, not quite abject horrer but people notice.

That's probably because if you want an espresso with cream or milk, you should just order a macchiato or a cappuccino.

Also a good one, with good coffee made right only at the most needs a small amount of suger to be drinkable, a bad one needs all the help it can get

As an italian who served his fair share of coffees I don't think ordering an espresso and then asking for milk is in any way strange. Many estabilishments here (northern italy) usually have a small pitcher of milk right at the counter.
Must be a local thing.

 Da Boss wrote:
I am always very mindful of being in Germany. I've tried to learn the language ASAP, and I am always careful to use the polite form of address in conversation with people I don't know.

Germans have different standards of politeness than Irish people, so I also try not to get annoyed when people don't smile back or apologise in certain situations, and remind myself that politeness is built into the grammar here.

Sounds like the Germans in Pennsylvania when I lived there.


Automatically Appended Next Post:

 jhe90 wrote:
Well learning local customs and a few basic words ie please, thank you, good morning can go a very long way even if your not perfect the thought is good.

Also I have worked in retail abit and if your polite I can dfo as surprising amount to help you at times within my rules and such, if you are insulting your getting nothing and I'm going to do the bare minimum as required.

Insulting staff never pays, ever.

Some of the rudest people I had to deal with at the hotel I worked were people from Finland. They were pissing everyone off at them. On the flip side, the was a group of bikers from Sweden that took a liking to me and wanted me to go out drinking with them.