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What are some of the jokes you find interesting which you make or someone else make while playing a game? Playing with someone is a time to socialize and make friends, so having as much fun as possible with the talking is always welcomed.

Here is a list of mine:

"No one hits anyone in close combat on 2+, unless you are.... Kharn the Betrayal.
No one denies the witch on 2+, unless you are....Kharn the Betrayal."

"A Master-crafted Bolt Pistol (for Asmodai)? I guess the Masters of the Forge have finally ran out of good things to do."

"AND THEY SHALL KNOW NO (fething) FEAR!"

*When playing Eldar and units perform poorly* "A shamefur dispray!"

*When Chaos Rhino passes Cover Saves due to popping smoke against the Vortex of Doom* "It sucks smoke."

"When both my Farseer and my opponent's Farseer are destroyed by Vortex of Doom (different ones)* "Looks like they'll be seeing each other on the other side."

Me: "What is your Warboss's leadership?"
My opponent: "Not very high. He's just pretending to be boss and the other guys are just following." *Warboss's leadership is 9, which is lower than most primary commander*.

Me: "How is it that in the Imperial Guards, you need to pass Leadership or kill someone to get the benefits (from Commander, Priest and Commissar), but the Tau (Ethereal) get away like that?"
My opponent: "Well, there is still one part in the guardsmen's brain that is rational. He will say, 'Sir, that is suicide'. The Tau are like, 'You want to me die, sir? Yes, sir'."

Any funny quote you or your opponents have made? Comment below, let me know. Maybe I'll say them in my next game.

The eldar player in my group doesn't think strength D on wraith units is that strong, does that count?

bibotot wrote:


*When playing Eldar and units perform poorly* "A shamefur dispray!"

As much as I hate jokes poking fun at Japanese dialects... wouldn't this be better focused at Tau instead of Eldar?

This joke was more applicable in previous editions of the game when a Leadership check was required to manifest a Psychic Power. Sometimes when I rolled a 9 or a 10, I'd joke that I could feel She Who Thirsts clawing at the edge of my mind...

Also when playing Eldar it's appropriate to lament the loss of soulstones. For example, when your Wraithlord is run over by an Ork Deff-Rolla... yeah you might not be getting that one back.

We've made an infinite amount of jokes regarding what happens when "Sabotage!" is rolled for a Mysterious Objective... yet the poor sods who identified it are forced to camp on it all game.

"Oi! Boss! Dis ting looks like it's gonna blow! Get us outa 'ere! Do we really need it dat bad?"
"YOU STAY RIGHT DERE! DAT DERE SHINY TING IS GONNA WIN DIS WAAAAAGHHH FOR THE ORKS!"

Back in the old Rogue Trader days you had Robots. You had to "Program" the robots with behavior and such. A joke that one of our friends back in those days still gets uttered at the table whenever an unfortunate mechanical construction is destroyed in a horrible, painful, disgusting way. Recently Tau Drones are usually the butt of such jokes, but it works for other units as well.

"WHY WAS I PROGRAMMED TO FEEL PAIN!!!"'

It's best said using your best impersonation of THIS horrible 80's Robot....

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7NpHuAYTkSU

"You're getting the D"

(After making seventeen 3+ saves) "I ******* love Wraiths."

"Ok you need sixes to hit because you're Snap Firing"
"I'm an Ork. Ask me if I care".
"Do you c...NOOOO I DON'T" *rolls five sixes out of eight dice*

"Boss Nob showing the boyz how it's done"

I like to make statements of vengeance for the first random basic marine to die (always named "Bob"). So when my drop pod hits the board, the marines on-board yell "FOR BOB!", or should a unit kill an important enemy unit, "That's for Bob ya bastards!!"

Lately, our Eldar player likes to say (when firing any D weapons), "Take the D, you know you want it"....followed by one of us saying, "But I don't want the D!!!", followed by him replying, "Too bad, you're getting the D!" GW should have foresaw the excessive use of D jokes when they created those rules.

I make Ork jokes when I get away with miracles. I had a Warboss in mega armour take out 2 tac squads of space marines, space marine captain, a wyvern, and a dreadnought (he died to the powerfist of the dread).
Or my battlewagon which is wired for sound to the tune of "Brickhouse" by Lionel Ritchie and the Commodores.

Refers to the drop pods coming in turn one.

(in a monotone)
The following maneuver is performed with a fury of attacks and is useful for overwhelming your opponent with its impact and curiosity. The codex Astartes refers to this tactic as STEEL REHN.

When my Iron Hands Chapter Master starts regaining health after losing all but one wound.

Tis just a flesh wound! Now cone over here and Ill bite your ankles off!

 ClassicCarraway wrote:
GW should have foresaw the excessive use of D jokes when they created those rules.

What makes you think they didn't? I mean, since they're written-by-committee now, this had to have happened at least twice, three times even, during the production stage.

Murrdox wrote:

bibotot wrote:


*When playing Eldar and units perform poorly* "A shamefur dispray!"

As much as I hate jokes poking fun at Japanese dialects... wouldn't this be better focused at Tau instead of Eldar?

Eldar Aspect Warriors are the Samurai of the Warhammer 40k universe. The Tau can use some Communist jokes and some Chinese funny.

When models take dangerous terrain tests and die -
"That one tripped and speared himself on a girder, that one tried to help him up but slipped into a hole and that one took a rock to the face"
(My friend's marine combat squad lost 3 marines to dangerous terrain tests)

When we're entering buildings -
"Disturbing the techpriests!"
https://youtu.be/p1F7hZzIckA?t=8

When my Imperial Guard fire a big or strong weapon, it hits but does absolutely no damage. My opponent "Hammer Tech?" Me "Hammer Tech..."

bibotot wrote:

*When playing Eldar and units perform poorly* "A shamefur dispray!"

That's good ol' fashioned family racism...

If someone misses a shot with a missile launcher, I'll sometimes lean in close and go, "Because it's a MISS-ile launcher..." which occasionally gets a laugh.

"Wyches only know how to do two things: suck and die."

When deploying Drop Pods, I will ask my opponent to say 'hallelujah.' When they give me the stink eye, I yell, "It's raining men!"

When passing a Leadership test to remain in a combat I wanted to flee, (or should have fled, statistically): "I like this plan. I'm excited to be a part of it."

What do you call a Tau that died in a potato field?

Fish and chips.

The farseers wouldnt see each other after dying. They go into soulstones.

A couple of friends and I have a whole host of stupid jokes. One of my favorites is when challenging someone you must come up with the best taunt you can for that character. Best taunt get's -1 to their Ld roll - A few I remember: "You call that a Dynasty? It looks like a walking scrap heap!" - to a Necron Overlord. "You call dat a shoota? Dat's not even a Slugga, Looki here, dis be a shoota!" - One Ork Warboss to another.

We also make jokes about how rolls turn out:
Howling Banshees - AP3 sword; cuts through armour like a hot knife through butter. Strength 3 attack; bounces off skin.
Daemon Prince misses every attack - (randomly flails arms making stupid noises)
Tactical Squad firing into some Guardsmen, Lascanon fires anyway - F*** this Guardsman in particular.
Dire Avenger Exarch kills Daemon Prince after three rounds of combat - THIS IS MY SOUL, AND YOU ARE NOT HAVING IT.

And then, of course, there's the hundreds of hilarious 'did that actually just happen?' moments. Like when Guardians kill Khorne Berserkers.

Usually some snide comment about how my CO yelling at lasguns makes them shoot faster.

One pretty funny one (for all of us except the Tyranid player) was a group of Tyranid Warriors trying to get out of a ruin for three turns. They didn't need much on their Difficult Terrain test and they had an extra die and still managed to fail three times.

"We're in Synapse! Ask the Hive Mind how to use this device the human flesh-things call a door!" Followed by that annoying dit-dit-sit sound your phone makes when you call and the carrier is lost...

When I used to use 80 Guardians on foot when they were bs 3, I would move them forward and declare "Go forth, and die needlessly!"

This is mostly because they would die in droves from enemy fire before getting in range, but eventually they still got there and did something. I got used to them dying quickly and was able to make it part of my strategy, lol.

I have always run a lot of plasma in my Dark Angels. Naturally, I have frequent overheats. It's become an inside joke. We tend to make comments about how that gun had "Acme" written on it, or was made in China. Sometimes people will even make predictive bets as to how many will overheat by the end of the game.

"Well, there he goes again". My Infantry sections plasma gun almost always overheats on the first shot and always kills him

Mine are usually as the following...

"I'm about to hit that in the rear armor."
"My Penetrating hit caused an Immobilized result."
(insert obvious jokes about D weapons here)
"And now for my Prehensile Data Spike"

Well, you get the picture.

Why are Blood Ravens always the protagonists when they show up?

They can't help but steal the spotlight...

What do you call a lasgun with a red-dot sight?

Twin-linked.

 Furyou Miko wrote:
Why are Blood Ravens always the protagonists when they show up?

They can't help but steal the spotlight...

You may be interested in the Galactic Partridges:

http://1d4chan.org/wiki/Galactic_Partridges

bibotot wrote:
What are some of the jokes you find interesting

40k's gameplay.

 Ashiraya wrote:

bibotot wrote:
What are some of the jokes you find interesting

40k's gameplay.

2 edge 4 me
There is a lot of Dark Eldar players locally who tend to get smug about their armies. My local meta has began to allow 30k lists as about half of us use them. I'm the only death guard player, and death guard force re-rolls of successes to poison weapons. It's now a running joke/bet to see how my first marine will die, since the abundance of Apothecaries, re-rolls, and other shenanigans, and more often than not, is one of my HQs XD.

When I have 30+ d6 due to FRFSRF I unusually crack a joke along the lines of 'there is so much D aimed at you, it's like a bukkake scene'

We usually laugh about how vox's allow re-rolls, but it means the officer can't re-roll orders to his own squad.

Finally we have started giving our vehicles silly names. Being Guard I usually paint my names on the tanks. Betty, Bertha, Rex etc. I've recently brought two wvyerns which have been dubbed the chuckle brothers (aka barry and paul).

Monster toes in cover, rolling 1's to run or at the d table is made fun of a lot around here.

I just love making puns about the battlefield.

*opponent shoots at space marines behind trees* "LEAF them alone!"

*Nob hits someone with big Choppa* "I gotta AXE you something."

so on and so forth, I pun for fun, and the people around me want to lynch me.

If not, the Wraithguard can help!

In reference to using inks and washes for the first time to paint models:

"It's like liquid skill!"