A new Joke thread: Sleezy pick-up line for 40K

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**epronovost**

A recent game of Dark Heresy got me thinking about a stupid contest/challenge. Here is the context. A Sister of Battle travel in an underground black market, searching for an information brooker for her inquisitor superior. The game is to find the most cheesy, sleezy or downright horrible pick-up lines the pimps, dregs and pseudo sophisticated gangsters of the area would pull on her.

**Mantorok**

Baby are you Slaanesh? Cause I'm Beguiled!
Baby are you Khorne? Cause I'd drink your period from the skull of my enemy!
Baby are you Nurgle? Cause I'm infected by your beauty!
Baby are you Tzeentch? Cause you look just as planned!

**Otto Weston**

Mantorok wrote:
Baby are you Slaanesh? Cause I'm Beguiled!
Baby are you Khorne? Cause I'd drink your period from the skull of my enemy!
Baby are you Nurgle? Cause I'm infected by your beauty!
Baby are you Tzeentch? Cause you look just as planned!

Made me laugh! Exalted!

**AlexHolker**

Mantorok wrote:
Baby are you Slaanesh? Cause I'm Beguiled!
Baby are you Khorne? Cause I'd drink your period from the skull of my enemy!
Baby are you Nurgle? Cause I'm infected by your beauty!
Baby are you Tzeentch? Cause you look just as planned!

These are not pick-up lines. These are literally capital crimes that would warrant the speaker's torture and subsequent execution.

**Mantorok**

AlexHolker wrote:
Mantorok wrote:
Baby are you Slaanesh? Cause I'm Beguiled!
Baby are you Khorne? Cause I'd drink your period from the skull of my enemy!
Baby are you Nurgle? Cause I'm infected by your beauty!
Baby are you Tzeentch? Cause you look just as planned!

These are not pick-up lines. These are literally capital crimes that would warrant the speaker's torture and subsequent execution.

Oh man what a buzzkill.

Alright then housabout a little Emprah Loving?

Baby are you the Emperor of Mankind? Cause I'm into necrophilia!
also:
I can see the beauty of our beloved Emperor in your eyes.
Admech Only:
01001001 00100000 01100111 01101111 01110100 00100000 01100001 00100000 01110000 01101001 01110011 01110100 01101111 01101110 00100000 01100110 01101111 01110010 00100000 01111001 01101111 01110101 01110010 00100000 01110011 01110100 01101111 01110010 01100001 01100111 01100101 00100000 01110100 01100001 01101110 01101011 00100001

**Grimtuff**

Once you go 28mm you'll never go back baby.

**Mantorok**

Grimtuff wrote:
Once you go 28mm you'll never go back baby.

Are you wearing power armor? Cause my primary weapon is AP3!

In all seriousness it'd probably be something like:

Hey honey I can make you feel like a woman again! (cause she's celibate 4 da emperor)
I bet you look fine under all that armor!
You're real feisty, huh!
I like a strong woman, more fun to dominate!

Eww. These lines are sleazy. Not fun to write.

**epronovost**

Mantorok wrote:

I can see the beauty of our beloved Emperor in your eyes.

This one is almost romantic... Should I post a picture of Zapp Brannigan for further inspiration?

**Mantorok**

epronovost wrote:
Mantorok wrote:

I can see the beauty of our beloved Emperor in your eyes.

This one is almost romantic... Should I post a picture of Zapp Brannigan for further inspiration?

It would be romantic if I wasn't talking about a 16ft man who could kill with a glance and took over half the galaxy.

In the idea of being romantic:

Our lives are a series of enduring pains, but your visage lights the way to a better tomorrow.
By the Emperor, your beauty will purify the darkness in this place.
The Emperor has crafted you in such a way that you could save the hearts of men.

**Silverthorne**

Baby you're ugly, but I'm drunk. Nows your chance.

I'm assuming that one will still work 40,000 years from now. You're welcome, Space Wolves everywhere

**wuestenfux**

Mantorok wrote:
Baby are you Slaanesh? Cause I'm Beguiled!
Baby are you Khorne? Cause I'd drink your period from the skull of my enemy!
Baby are you Nurgle? Cause I'm infected by your beauty!
Baby are you Tzeentch? Cause you look just as planned!

Nuff said.

**Furyou Miko**

Taking things seriously;

Spoiler:

Ignoring that the OP said the Sister was under cover...

Spoiler:

**Iron_Captain**

Hey babe, I brought my flamer today, because I totally want to see you without cover.
Do you have a plasma cannon? Because it suddenly got hot...

Also on 40k pickup lines, I found this one:

**ZergSmasher**

*Looks at Sister from behind*

"Nice piece, and your pistol's pretty cool too!"

**Freytag93**

Iron_Captain wrote:
Also on 40k pickup lines, I found this one:

Oh my... This is perfect.

**Mantorok**

ZergSmasher wrote:
*Looks at Sister from behind*

"Nice piece, and your pistol's pretty cool too!"

Whoa, bro.
You shouldn't talk about your sister that way.

Imperator Rex? More Like Imperator Sex.

**DoomShakaLaka**

As a priest talking to a Sister of Battle

"Come to my house tonight and we can re-roll to hit together"

**epronovost**

ZergSmasher wrote:
*Looks at Sister from behind*

"Nice piece, and your pistol's pretty cool too!"

Love this one for a hive ganger.