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Take the sawed-off shotgun out from under my desk, get the broadsword down from the wall, and show them a world of

Wait, sorry. Autocorrect's acting up. What I actually meant to type was 'poop until there's nothing left, call the cops, grab the cat, and fling myself bodily out the window'.

 Nurgle wrote:
Lets say you are at your hobby table or desk. You hear a window shatter and the voice of anywhere between two to five men.

What is your course of action? Would you call the police immediatly? Would you try to defend your home? Would you hide?

Grab the baby oil and slather myself down as my favorite fantasy is about happen?

 General Annoyance wrote:
I have a Kimber 1911 that looks just like the real thing, with all the real markings and all steel, except that it's an airsoft gun.

I could probably get away with forcing a surrender with it, if I didn't live in Britain if the intruders had any brains they'd know real guns are hard to come by if you don't live in the countryside.

G.A

Ha second that, have a g17c that would look scary, also have a full steel m4 but think the would be pushing it in the realms of reality here in the U.K. Plus would need to charge the batteries for the m4 . Don't think they'd ring in advance to let me set it up.

 stanman wrote:

 Nurgle wrote:
Lets say you are at your hobby table or desk. You hear a window shatter and the voice of anywhere between two to five men.

What is your course of action? Would you call the police immediatly? Would you try to defend your home? Would you hide?

Grab the baby oil and slather myself down as my favorite fantasy is about happen?

...well played!

My hobby table is in my shed. I play loud music. if a window shatters it's probably that of my shed. After that it gets cramped and probably awkward for the would be invaders as a bespectacled loony howls about how they have climbed over his work.

Well, when I saw there was a home invasion, I thought my immediate response would be the shotgun I keep in the bedroom, or one of the pistols I keep in a safe. Then I read it was as many as 5 attackers! That's more than I think i can easily handle. There is is a front and back door to my house, but it's not easy to escape without crossing one or the other - escape isn't really an option.

I can't wait for the police - it takes them at least 30 minutes to get to my house, on average. I live in a semi-rural area. No choice...

I'd have to wake up my wife, and we'd touch rings. She'd go form of... a lowlands mountain gorilla, to pummel the invaders. I'd go shape of... iceman, to freeze them into place until the authorities arrive.

Then we'd clean up the water and go back to the Hall of Justice to fill out a report in triplicate.

Take phone, head for exit. Nothing worth killing so don't have gun and even if had wouldn't use one

Considering the only window big enough for a thief to get through in the trailer is directly in front of the hobby desk where I keep my exacto blades, probably ain't gonna go well for the would be intruder.

Also, cops are a good 20 minutes out. I'm on my own and I doubt my neighbors would be much help

I only have one entrance to my home, and irts too high up to jump. I would grab my mobile slam the door to whatever room I am in and barricade it any way I can while calling for the police.

Intrusion is a priority response as it involves immediate risk to life, and there is a better chance to intercept and apprehend on an ongoing crime. My chances arent bad.

 xKillGorex wrote:


Ha second that, have a g17c that would look scary, also have a full steel m4 but think the would be pushing it in the realms of reality here in the U.K. Plus would need to charge the batteries for the m4 . Don't think they'd ring in advance to let me set it up.

I don't keep my magazines gassed or loaded either, so I think I'd be pretty screwed too

If I lived in America, I don't think the intruders would take a second look at the M249 or the P90 that's also part of the joint airsoft collection - I'm living in the wrong country

G.A

I'm sure my German Shepard would be thrilled. Since my hobby area is in the basement I would grab the Stihl chainsaw

Why don't we rename this thread to match what it's real intention Is or what it will surely become:

"Here is my list of guns and let me tell you how badass I am":

 CT GAMER wrote:
Why don't we rename this thread to match what it's real intention Is or what it will surely become:

"Here is my list of guns and let me tell you how badass I am":

I think all the Americans here can use this thread for that

I only own some piddly airsoft guns, and while I can hold my hand very steady, I'll never claim to be a good shot, nor will I claim I'm immune to panic.

I'd get out of the house because it'd be yet another spider attack.

LOL, I'd point to my sign that reads "Safe Space."

Actually, I'd grab my AR15 by the door, release the bolt, engage the holographic sight, and respond to the threat. And, I have the high ground

Prepare for the worst, hope for the best!

I would call the police. Then I would restrain the intruder and fart in his face till the police arrived to carry off the confused individual to jail.

 Bonegrinder wrote:
I would call the police. Then I would restrain the intruder and fart in his face till the police arrived to carry off the confused individual to jail.

The OP mentioned 2-5; that's a lot of farts.

Call the police, hopefully they'll arrive pretty fast since the police station is 700 meters from my apartment. Otherwise I just let them take whatever they want. It's just stuff, and it's not like I can defend myself against 2-5 guys. My most effective weapons are a hobby or kitchen knife and my briefcase full of rulebooks!

I have no hidden hand cannons or bazookas and trip mines. No knife or sword collection or ninjutsu training either.
Hell, I'd be devastated if I killed an intruder. But I guess that's a cultural difference.

 n0t_u wrote:
I'd get out of the house because it'd be yet another spider attack.

thats disturbing....

This thread is:

1) Doing WAY better than I though it would

2) Providing some fantastic entertainment!

Avatar 720 wrote:Reach for my phone whilst yelling all sorts of alarums, likely in a girly-screamy manner, and hope to God they lose morale.

I like it!

timetowaste85 wrote:Assume my roommate has things under control, and keep on painting!

Stone. Cold.

Spinner wrote:Take the sawed-off shotgun out from under my desk, get the broadsword down from the wall, and show them a world of

Wait, sorry. Autocorrect's acting up. What I actually meant to type was 'poop until there's nothing left, call the cops, grab the cat, and fling myself bodily out the window'.

Nice!

stanman wrote:

 Nurgle wrote:
Lets say you are at your hobby table or desk. You hear a window shatter and the voice of anywhere between two to five men.

What is your course of action? Would you call the police immediatly? Would you try to defend your home? Would you hide?

Grab the baby oil and slather myself down as my favorite fantasy is about happen?

...I think you'd...scare them off? Maybe?

Ouze wrote:Well, when I saw there was a home invasion, I thought my immediate response would be the shotgun I keep in the bedroom, or one of the pistols I keep in a safe. Then I read it was as many as 5 attackers! That's more than I think i can easily handle. There is is a front and back door to my house, but it's not easy to escape without crossing one or the other - escape isn't really an option.

I can't wait for the police - it takes them at least 30 minutes to get to my house, on average. I live in a semi-rural area. No choice...

I'd have to wake up my wife, and we'd touch rings. She'd go form of... a lowlands mountain gorilla, to pummel the invaders. I'd go shape of... iceman, to freeze them into place until the authorities arrive.

Then we'd clean up the water and go back to the Hall of Justice to fill out a report in triplicate.

Winner!

EXALTS to all!

In australia this sort of thing is easy to deal with just summon some of the local wildlife and let them handle it.

 General Annoyance wrote:
If I lived in America, I don't think the intruders would take a second look at the M249 or the P90 that's also part of the joint airsoft collection - I'm living in the wrong country

If they were smart, they probably would, since almost nobody would have an M249 or FN P90. The civilian version of the FN P90 is the PS90, and it's extremely easy to tell the difference. The civilian, semi-auto version of the M249, the M249S costs around $8,000. The average American, to include the average American gun-owner, is not going to have either of them.

But, if it's a home invasion and you had no other options, I suppose it's worth a try.

If you lived in America and were concerned about home invasions, I'd recommend just buying an actual gun.


Automatically Appended Next Post:

 Ouze wrote:
Well, when I saw there was a home invasion, I thought my immediate response would be the shotgun I keep in the bedroom, or one of the pistols I keep in a safe. Then I read it was as many as 5 attackers! That's more than I think i can easily handle. There is is a front and back door to my house, but it's not easy to escape without crossing one or the other - escape isn't really an option.

I can't wait for the police - it takes them at least 30 minutes to get to my house, on average. I live in a semi-rural area. No choice...

I'd have to wake up my wife, and we'd touch rings. She'd go form of... a lowlands mountain gorilla, to pummel the invaders. I'd go shape of... iceman, to freeze them into place until the authorities arrive.

Then we'd clean up the water and go back to the Hall of Justice to fill out a report in triplicate.

If it was that many, I'd shift into Crinos and grab my Klaive. If was just five humans, I'd paste them easily. If it was five Black Spiral Dancers or some other kind of Wyrm-beast, I'd step sideways using my bathroom mirror, head towards the closest moon bridge to my cairn and alert my packmates.

Yeah, thankfully I live in a country with gun control, and loads of it historically, so armed crime is rare unless you're in a gang. Home invasion sort of crimes are really really rare (even in inner city London) and even if they did happen, it's unlikely the stupid 16-year old intruder is armed with anything more dangerous than what's in my kitchen/hobby area. In fact, they're probably not armed at all and just looking to get away with a laptop.

I'd see if I can see what's going on. I'd expect any burglar to run as soon as they realise the house is occupied. If it looks like it's more serious than that, barricade a door and go out through the window, along with any other occupants, then call 999.

I'd be surprised if it got any more violent than that.

 Hordini wrote:

If you lived in America and were concerned about home invasions, I'd recommend just buying an actual gun.

Oh yeah... I guess I could do that...

 ArbitorIan wrote:
Yeah, thankfully I live in a country with gun control, and loads of it historically, so armed crime is rare unless you're in a gang. Home invasion sort of crimes are really really rare (even in inner city London) and even if they did happen, it's unlikely the stupid 16-year old intruder is armed with anything more dangerous than what's in my kitchen/hobby area. In fact, they're probably not armed at all and just looking to get away with a laptop.

I'd see if I can see what's going on. I'd expect any burglar to run as soon as they realise the house is occupied. If it looks like it's more serious than that, barricade a door and go out through the window, along with any other occupants, then call 999.

I'd be surprised if it got any more violent than that.

Yes, yes, what form would you take though? If you are going out the window I'd recommend frog, toad, or Mexican jumping bean.

Is the answer strip naked, run past them yodelling out of the house, start doing Yoga in the garden, then run back into the house still yodelling and then dry hump the tv?

In all fairness my windows are pretty tough. They'll take a hammering and bricks being thrown at them then showdown with some glassy double glazed ninja gak.

5 playas coming at my fenetres wouldn't even be an issue.

 Mozzyfuzzy wrote:
Is the answer strip naked, run past them yodelling out of the house, start doing Yoga in the garden, then run back into the house still yodelling and then dry hump the tv?

I am in awe!

stanman wrote:
Grab the baby oil and slather myself down as my favorite fantasy is about happen?

Bonegrinder wrote:I would call the police. Then I would restrain the intruder and fart in his face till the police arrived to carry off the confused individual to jail.

Mozzyfuzzy wrote:Is the answer strip naked, run past them yodelling out of the house, start doing Yoga in the garden, then run back into the house still yodelling and then dry hump the tv?

Thread winnars right here.

Frazzled wrote:
I am in awe!

You have Dachshunds. And as a former owner of those neurotic attack sausages myself, I know that intruders would have a bad night. A Dachshund will eat your ass alive if they think you are a threat. And they attack in teams.

On second thought, I would commit to tactical lego deployment.

Let's see how they like minefields of pure agony.