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Been a while since I've seen one of these threads, so I thought I'd share a funny story from today:
I was trying out the Haemotrope Reactors with my Space Wolves, since it's a cool model and I missed my 5x Plasma Long Fang pack that I used liberally in 6th edition.
It was half an artillery army, half Drop Pods, which is important.

Turn one, I dropped a bunch of pods into my opponent's deployment zone, spread out. Did some Psychics to make myself less likely to blow up (Prescience), and then unloaded with the Pcannons, so I could get as many hits as possible before shooting my other guns - Didn't want to thin out the herd before firing my Large Blasts.
The first four shots go off without a hitch.
The final shot misses badly, so I reroll, and it scatters onto my Drop Pod. No big deal, right? We almost forgot to roll completely, setting it aside until the other wound pools were handled. I put a whole bunch of wounds on a bunch of squads, but didn't quite kill anyone.
So, he rolls. '6'. No big deal. It's just a random pen, and I have a cover save. So, I roll that save - And fail. Now I'm a little concerned.
Then he rolls for damage. '6'.
Whelp, there goes first blood. And, since it's surrounded by models, it takes five Space Marines with it when the pod explodes. He hasn't even taken a turn yet, and he's already killed 100pts of models and claimed First Blood.


For the rest of the game the dice were horribly against my opponent, (At one point failing five out of six 3+ saves on his Daemon Prince,) but in that one twinkling moment, the dice gods looked down and smiled upon him. It was funny enough that I didn't even care about the loss.

I had one game recently with the new EC rules, Im sure I can speak to everyone when I say we all have those games where we have 1 model that just does not die, one of my raptors who's squad was obliterated the turn after they deepstriked managed to scrape by 3 turns holding an objective surviving fire from a squad of 10 warriors, necron destroyers and some sort of necron skimmer, each turn he would fail his cover/armour save only to roll 6's on his FNP, my opponents frustration turned to disbeleif as he kept making 6+ FNP rolls. As the game neared the end my opponent ignored the rest of my army just to murder the one marine with some sort of righteous vengeance. Alas he didn't survive, but his enjoyment of his pain made slannesh proud.

Well, this one comes from when I first got my riptide.

Didn't even finish building it, just the legs and chest without arms, but my buddy and I were excited to play and test him out. Set him up with HBC, ECPA and fnp.

Naturally, I get cocky with him and put him way up front to get a good shooting angle on his necron warrior blob, trusting my thrust move.
And Murphy declares that thrust move will be snake eyes.

Cue a barrage of shots from the warriors (with attached overlord dishing relentless, this will be important later), some heavy destroyers and practically every gun in range. Miracle rolls makes him survive with 1 wound left.

Knowing that tau and CC don't mix, he decides to charge in. The warrior blob, attached overlord, two teams of heavy destroyers, all go in.
Nothing manages to get past him. Nothing.
I decide to throw caution to the wind, as the game went poorly in any case (took heavy losses otherwise, and my antitank failed miserably) and went for a smash.
One hit (with ws 1), one wound, one failed reanimation and a heavy destroyer falls.
Three leadership checks. Three fails.
Three sweeping advances, all in my favor.
About 450 points of necrons swept down, by tau, in a single CC run.

Needless to say that we were both incapacitated by laughter for a while, and the game practically ended there as we couldn't muster enough seriousness to keep going.

Riptide gets dedicated to khorne, painted red and given daemon engine decoration as a reward. Pictures of him in my gallery.

Space Wolves again.

I was in a tournament running the Ironwolves formation - free upgrades for transport vehicles and extra inches when moving Flat Out.
Kind of surprises people that my first move isn't to open fire but to slam across no man's land and park on my opponent's front line.

So - two Rhinos with Dozer Blades and one Landraider go for the trip and one vehicle makes it. Guess which ones get caught on terrain.

Tau (me) vs Corsairs.

Corsairs get to deploy 1st. Hide more or less 400p behind an impassable terrai: psychic Baron (Warlord) in bike, some Scatbikes alongside and 2 Blastriek Bands (akin to devastators) behind terrain doors (that can be opened to allow fire in and out). They're close (less than 12") to the board edge.

I don't steal initiative and he starts. Rolls some psychic powers and one of them Perils. Corsairs has a different Perils table, and he rolls Warp Terrors (friendly Corsair units within 6", including the caster, must roll 3d6 Morale test and keep the 2 highest). All of them fail, and in one turn he loses 400p of units in a 2000p game.

Rolling a 12 for charge distance when you really need it due to some impossible combination of terrain hight and distance is always fun.

Nurgle Reaver titan (the one that can jink) pre Taghmata
Charged with :
Melta gun command squad w/ Meltabombs before FAQ
1CTF tactical terminators with chainfists and preferred enemy
1 black templar chainfist dreadnought dropped by a stormraven that turn

Dreadnought crawls up the titans legs and saws them off, by itself at initiative 4
Titan explodes
Kills every single model in the blast radius (6d6) except the Dreadnought

The same titan in the modern era got the same Stormraven (and a bunch of other flyers) up its arse and exploded killing Mortarion with a 6 on the D table.

Apoc is where the fun happens baby

The stories I have about my marines up at university...

My Angels versus a friend's Orks: game 1

Board was all set with terrain in nice places that will come in later on. The friend in question was as inexperienced as I was so we were not taking our A-game.
Over the course of 3 turns my right flank Dreadnought immobilizes and/or wrecks every member of his Killa kans (by himself, I might add. Rocket punching all the way) in such a way that the gap between the terrain pieces was completely closed off and rendered impassable (as far as we cared).

The Dread on my left flank was not so lucky. I solo charged a big unit of Boyz, killed of two, then the Huge Choppa nob glanced it to death.

Spectacular board setup + puny walkers that can't take a punch = we now a castle circling my friend's deployment zone, the only way in or out now was with jump packs, and mine were about to get splatted by Trukk boyz. We called the game at the end of his 5th turn because neither of us could actually reach each other anymore.


versus a firend's Orks (with Ghazzy): the Saga Continues

Turn 1 for him sees a whole mess of boys move up and not much else, some poor shooting here and there, not much damage.
My Turn one sees my dreadnought poke out of cover and just fail to kill his mekboy. I send a full assault squad up to try and charge the Ghazgul train, which they fail spectacularly at.

The mek fails to hurt the dread.

He charges the squad and only one man is left at the end of combat (Ghaz couldn't pile in far enough), and I take photos of the little heroism - he passed 8 armor save rolls with nothing but 5s and 6s!

Things are getting tense as the Dread/Mek sniping showdown continues to do nothing. My little assault marine keeps staying alive.

Turn 3. The mekboy fires up his fateful Mega Blasta shot. rolls , Fails a 6+ armor save. we spend the next 10 minutes howling with laughter and debating if this means I get first blood.

Oh I still lost that fight, pretty badly. The marine died that same turn coz Ghazgul piled in.



Bonus Story: bikes and cultists.

A short phase this one. My lone attack bike got charged by 14 khorne cultists with knives.
Many attacks, many fails to hit/wound, I pass all saves.

Bikers pimp slap 1-2 cultists out of the unit, the rest fail morale, and get swept. by a tricycle. Highlight of the game for me.

I charged a unit of markerlight drones with 3 thunderhammer storm shield terminators. The drones proceeded to kill two fthe the terminators, and the last terminator couldn't even kill one drone.

My opponent once charged logan on his sleigh into a 30 man squad of zombie cultists. He hardly touched the cultists who promptly turned around and killed him

I was losing a match pretty bad. I had run a silly wraith list with footslogging wraith guard and wraith blades. My knight died in the first turn so I did not have a lot of hope for the match. My spirit seer deep strikes in behind my opponents imperial knight and throws out a vortex of doom rolling a 6 and killing the knight. Then next turn the vortex scattered on top of his bloodthirster rolling another 6 and killing it too.

In a game against a SM opponent.
The game is going badly for me at this point, and I am really being hammered, especially as his Vanguard Veteran squad have just dropped on to the table, declaring that they are using that "charge from DS rule (this was 5th BTW).
They charge a lone Guard squad, and the sergeant challenges mine.
He goes first.
Whiff, whiff, whiff, three 1's in a row.
My sarge strikes back. One hit. One wound. One failed save.
The Vanguard Veteran sergeant dies to a single laspistol shot as he descends towards the unit.

 master of ordinance wrote:
In a game against a SM opponent.
The game is going badly for me at this point, and I am really being hammered, especially as his Vanguard Veteran squad have just dropped on to the table, declaring that they are using that "charge from DS rule (this was 5th BTW).
They charge a lone Guard squad, and the sergeant challenges mine.
He goes first.
Whiff, whiff, whiff, three 1's in a row.
My sarge strikes back. One hit. One wound. One failed save.
The Vanguard Veteran sergeant dies to a single laspistol shot as he descends towards the unit.

Challenges didn't exist in 5th.

I was playing nids and my friend was playing CSM. He was moving up his armored spearhead with his Khorne Lord on a juggernaut looking for blood and had him positioned behind a rhino parked at an angle to grab a cover save from some shooting. I moved a small unit of Termigaunts into position that I could see the Lord through and plinked away his armor with fleshborers and killed him. He was understandably upset.



edit: I believe that was one of the Tervigon spawned units that accomplished this

 coblen wrote:
I charged a unit of markerlight drones with 3 thunderhammer storm shield terminators. The drones proceeded to kill two fthe the terminators, and the last terminator couldn't even kill one drone.

My opponent once charged logan on his sleigh into a 30 man squad of zombie cultists. He hardly touched the cultists who promptly turned around and killed him

I was losing a match pretty bad. I had run a silly wraith list with footslogging wraith guard and wraith blades. My knight died in the first turn so I did not have a lot of hope for the match. My spirit seer deep strikes in behind my opponents imperial knight and throws out a vortex of doom rolling a 6 and killing the knight. Then next turn the vortex scattered on top of his bloodthirster rolling another 6 and killing it too.

On the Sleigh?
I've made that stuff up before - Chariots choose what takes the beating, the guy in the armour or the vehicle. Unless you had an attached IC with a S6 or better weapon Logan could have taken the Cultists' attacks on the 12 all round armour and laughed at them.
Since Logan and his sleigh is the points equivalent cost of two kitted TWC and half as useful most Space Wolf players don't use him and have no idea how a chariot works the first time they do.
Embarassing to remember or find that out later.

Funny moment: 5th ed, I Tank Shocked the Sanguinor with a Batlewagon, forcing him to move within 12" of a unit of Kans. I then assault the Sanguinor, locking him out of the rest of the game as he's stuck in a slap fight, both units failing to hurt each other.

More recent funny gaming moments:
I fought a Renegade knight and lost several transports. My Sorcerer had Ghost-Storm and Electrodisplacement, so basically sling-shotted several Marine units to hit it point-blank with Melta. It blows up, the blast scattering on his army.

I run a Palanquin Sorcerer with my Word Bearers. Due to the Grand Host, he has Crusader. I attach him to a blob of Helcult cultists, somehow making them all run faster! Hedonismbot does jogging!

I also managed to fry 4 DE squad leaders with my Lord casting Sunburst...so I then had to make 8(!) rolls for Chaos Boons, causing his Power Level to go really high!

 Dakka Wolf wrote:

 coblen wrote:
I charged a unit of markerlight drones with 3 thunderhammer storm shield terminators. The drones proceeded to kill two fthe the terminators, and the last terminator couldn't even kill one drone.

My opponent once charged logan on his sleigh into a 30 man squad of zombie cultists. He hardly touched the cultists who promptly turned around and killed him

I was losing a match pretty bad. I had run a silly wraith list with footslogging wraith guard and wraith blades. My knight died in the first turn so I did not have a lot of hope for the match. My spirit seer deep strikes in behind my opponents imperial knight and throws out a vortex of doom rolling a 6 and killing the knight. Then next turn the vortex scattered on top of his bloodthirster rolling another 6 and killing it too.

On the Sleigh?
I've made that stuff up before - Chariots choose what takes the beating, the guy in the armour or the vehicle. Unless you had an attached IC with a S6 or better weapon Logan could have taken the Cultists' attacks on the 12 all round armour and laughed at them.
Since Logan and his sleigh is the points equivalent cost of two kitted TWC and half as useful most Space Wolf players don't use him and have no idea how a chariot works the first time they do.
Embarassing to remember or find that out later.

That's only for shooting, does your opponent get to pick in combat?

Tau Commander lasting 3 turns of close combat with a Necron Lord and some Wraiths, eventually fighting it down to a 1 vs 1 with the Lord before losing.

This is with me forgetting I had Feel No Pain the whole time and probably could have beaten the Lord down with one more round of fighting.

 gummyofallbears wrote:

 Dakka Wolf wrote:

 coblen wrote:
I charged a unit of markerlight drones with 3 thunderhammer storm shield terminators. The drones proceeded to kill two fthe the terminators, and the last terminator couldn't even kill one drone.

My opponent once charged logan on his sleigh into a 30 man squad of zombie cultists. He hardly touched the cultists who promptly turned around and killed him

I was losing a match pretty bad. I had run a silly wraith list with footslogging wraith guard and wraith blades. My knight died in the first turn so I did not have a lot of hope for the match. My spirit seer deep strikes in behind my opponents imperial knight and throws out a vortex of doom rolling a 6 and killing the knight. Then next turn the vortex scattered on top of his bloodthirster rolling another 6 and killing it too.

On the Sleigh?
I've made that stuff up before - Chariots choose what takes the beating, the guy in the armour or the vehicle. Unless you had an attached IC with a S6 or better weapon Logan could have taken the Cultists' attacks on the 12 all round armour and laughed at them.
Since Logan and his sleigh is the points equivalent cost of two kitted TWC and half as useful most Space Wolf players don't use him and have no idea how a chariot works the first time they do.
Embarassing to remember or find that out later.

That's only for shooting, does your opponent get to pick in combat?

Just looked it up. You are right.
It is only shooting that the Chariot's owner gets to pick. Another foolish attempt by me to learn as I go and think I learned it right.

My Y'vahra once got eaten by a Tank Shocking Leman Russ. There's really nothing else to say.

My Onager Dunecrawler killed a Daemon Prince in close combat.

I once charged two Eldar Corsairs with a lone Crisis Suit and wiped them out.

Was using Guard against Tau and had managed to knock a Riptide down to 2 Wounds, but it was running across the table to smack my Eradicators around (which were punishing his Firewarriors/Pathfinders). Eradicators had Fire Barrels, for gaks and giggles. Riptide charges, and I roll a 6 for the amount of Fire Barrel hits on him, and manage to roll another two 6's to put 2 Wounds on him. Riptide then promptly rolls two 1's for his Armour Save, fails both his FNP rolls and dies in the Assault Phase to a Leman Russ lol.

Typhus had two wounds left.

Two combat phases later, he was dead.

What was he fighting?

A Drop Pod.

How is that even possible lol?

Demon weapon?

My personal favorite was Abbaddon taking a few wounds in Overwatch when he charged a 10 man IG Infantry Squad, whiffed all his attacks, and then got beaten to death by the valiant Guardsmen

Daemon weapon indeed. Two 1s on Daemon Weapons, and two failed FNP rolls.

Yesterday's game number 2:
My try-hard LVO list packed with riptides and yvarhas (that still hasn't won a match yet)...

I fail 10/11 Nova Charges. over the course of 3 turns. I decided to stop when my gets hot started to fail too.

GG

I just remembered a great one!

I was fighting against a somewhat toned down seer star Eldar list. Turn one, the death star leaves some area terrain and everyone takes a dangerous terrain test, 4 of the warlocks fail, and all 4 fail their 3+ armour. Turn one the seer star died due to a failed dangerous terrain morale check.

Don't know why my opponent forgot something to make them fearless but eh beggars can't be choosers!

Haha this thread is full of gold

In a Kill Team I played against Blood Angels, my list was 10 Rangers with one Arquebus and 1 Sydonian Dragoon. He had I think 5 scouts and 5 or 6 Assault Marines. The mission was the supply drop thing with the objective you must find by yourself.

So he sets up his 5 scouts all in one spot, up on the central building, which gives him a good line of sight to shoot with his 4 snipers and missile launcher. As the game advance, it turns out the objective was on his side of the board, but he had nobody to go pick it up since he advanced all his guys on me to beat me in CC.

Now I had my Arquebus sitting atop his own building, sniping when he could. Through all game he had all his 5 scouts trying to shoot him up, but one way or another he failed, be it by failed to hit rolls or my own saves. He got one wound off, to discover that he had 2W since my Ranger is an Alpha.

Well that Alpha with his one wound left survived to shoot two Marines from across the table who were trying to grab the objective in their own lines, so he gave me victory by sheer surviving power.

Two Acolyte Hybrids walk into a bar and get charged by a Wraithknight. The Wraithknight misses with all of its attacks, loses three wounds to Rends, and ends up stuck in combat for a turn due to fail-Stomps.

Last game I had a Knight Crusader manage to get hit by the centre of two super-heavy explosions (The Strength D part)
It survived the game and only lost 2HP in total during the game (and only 1 from the aforementioned explosions).

The next one requires me to mention that my gaming group finds the Objective secured special rule virtually useless (It almost never comes up in our games, and even if it does it has NEVER swung the outcome of a game)
So, I had a Rhino (with objective secured) that wanted to take an objective from some genestealer cultists.
They did not have objective secured, so I was all excited that obsec could come up, and actually win me the game (It was the random point objective mission and as my turn started he had 4 objectives to my 2, but we decided not to reveal the objective values until the end of the game.
I needed to tank shock in order to get close enough,
Cultists failed LD test,
Cultists fled off the board,
No obsec coming up in this game, the dice gods say no.
Extra laughs- It turned out to be the 1 point objective, so I lost

Playing Dark Eldar against AdMech at 1100 points. My opponent fields an Imperial Knight (thx Obama).

Good thing I was playing MSU, so I kept the most of my army scattered all along the board and gave that knight a unit to kill every turn for distraction. The whole game was more like playing hide n seek.

In turn 4 he needed an objective my 10points Lhamean HQ was holding, he failed to kill it in CC. In turn 5 I destroyed everything else he had, won by points (good thing we didn't play Kill Points)

Last week I played my friends Death Guard with my marines. His whole army is built around Typhus in a Spartan with a Terminator squad as retinue. He gets first turn and deploys spread out across the table with Typhus' Spartan slightly right of centre due to the lay out of terrain.

I seize the initiative, drop a drop pod right next to his spartan and bring out 10 sternguard armed with a mix of combi melta and plasma. The melta shots wreck the vehicle and put piles Typhus with the terminators. But he has a problem placing them if he places them out the front wreck they will have to stand an entire round of shooting from the rest of my army so they instead pile out of the side door on the opposite side drop my pod and sternguard.

His first turn goes from bad to worse as he's piled out into terrain and has to come round the wrecked vehicle and only manages two inches through the terrain. All is not lost. One of the terminators can see my sternguard and he is determined to enact revenge. He gets to the assault phase and declares his charge and my combi plasma shots turn his lead terminator to goo... he can't see me he can't charge me! Just for interest I let him roll his charge to see if he'd make it needing 5 and he rolls.... snake eyes.

I burst into hysterical laughter as he turns a sort of maroon with rage.

The game was made even more amusing, for me at least, by his rolling three successive ones for his helldrake arriving from reserves. We ended up laughing at every one of his turns.