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@ OP. No I dont think so.
Vast majority of people on the planet just want everyone to live their lives and just do their thing..

You will run into bad people occasionally in every walk of life. Be that grocery shopping, going to the gym, knitting club or wargaming club. Its a part of life. But I don't think from personal experience wargaming club/community is any different. Just gotta avoid those people once you identify them if it happens.

Also. The internet is not reality. We seem to have forgotten this.
People will blast a bad experience from all the rooftops. But nobody is going to say "everybody listen up! I have to share this. We had a game. It was aigh. Nothing bad happened. The end" because that's not newsworthy its the norm.

Welcome to the hobby.

Thanks guys so appreciate your thoughts and advice. I do get the flirtation stuff that can happen. My dnd group was victim to this a bit, but it wasn’t too bad, especially when we all got to know each other and we’re comfortable. I am abit of a door mat though and hope that doesn’t give some more incentive to take advantage of it. If it helps I’m super nerdy, positive, bubbly and love a laugh and intelligent conversation. Hopefully that will work in my favour for being accepted easily into the group.

It's something that's much more likely to come up in your local community than in bigger events, which are better policed and where people are there to play the game more than to socialize anyway. And that just depends on your local scene; there's no way to really know except try and see how it goes, but you'll probably be fine.

In my experience, about 85% of 40k players are great stand-up people, another 10% mean well but are socially awkward, and then then there's maybe 1 in 20 who are not people you want to spend much time with.

Compared to society as a whole, that's actually a pretty favorable ratio.

I've only seen people not liking girls playing this (or any other) game in the internet. All physical stores I've been never had a problem with guys and girls interacting.

And this topic made me remember this

Welcome to the hobby! You'll meet jerks in every hobby/community/social circle. Ignore them. They're the exception not the rule.

I wouldn't be surprised if you encounter a couple guys that don't know how to act when playing against you. They might be worried about being awkward or offensive. If you're relaxed, they'll learn to relax also.

If you're a hammer looking for a nail though, you'll find it. If you look for reasons to be offended you'll find them.

If everyone remembers to give the benefit of the doubt, just like you would hope someone would give to you, then everyone will have fun.

Most gaming groups love to meet new players. We want to keep the community growing! As long as someone shows a genuine iterest in the hobby, we are plenty glad to offer help and suggestions for what you need to start gaming.

It all depends on the local store manager.

I have witnessed three different people running my local GW store so far. First two were male and created an exclusive customer circle which was not very keen to accept newcomers at all. All the people in this circle were male. Suffice to say both failed eventually.

The third store manager is a woman, is still in charge and increased the sales of the shop by a large margin because of being an open-minded person. Her presence alone was enough to attract a few girls into the hobby but they largely commit to painting & building as I have almost never seen them play in the store.

The most active players at my LGS are women, never had anyone do anything stupid to them. Most people will treat you like a normal human being, the more extreme cases we hear about are the minority.

If anyone does something you don't feel comfortable with, just talk to the store manager about it.

It depends on your location. There are three stores in the area where I am that have significant warhammer presences, and there was previously another place that was one of those 'artist/maker spaces'.

I have always had a 0 tolerance policy for several types of bad behavior inherited from our previous club leader dude. Don't know what the policy is at the other two game store spaces, but still our group is like 90% white dads. it's just dads as far as the eye can see, dads stretching to the horizon. We have people who do not fit into that category, but usually only about a half dozen out of 40-50 active members at any given time.

Our game shop is primarily a hobby/nostalgia type store, lots of non-gaming model stuff, terrain stuff, very old school shop that gets an older clientele than the other two stores, which are more towards the teenagers and college kids. The group that was based in the maker space I would visit to play Necromunda, and and it was slightly fewer active members every week but it was like 100% non-normative looking folks, closer to an even gender spread.

That group shut down when the person organizing it moved away, and though I invited everyone I had met there and gotten contact info for to come play with our group, I got only a couple takers and no regular new members.

Honestly, I think a lot of it comes down to just setting. The shop where we play is a shop where dads play. I have never known a white dad who was not a kid in a candy store in that place, and so that's who we get.

 auticus wrote:
There aren't many women in my community. I've known in 20 years of being around here four of them.

However all four were never treated badly.

The #1 issue that they all usually have to deal with is being hit on all the time and being asked for their number on a regular basis. Even if you are with someone. Even with that someone is in your community as well. That will be the #1 thing I have found most women to have to deal with.

This is what my wife has to endure when we go to big events attached to Cons. But locally I'm fairly well known so it's very respectful.

Most of the potential issues I have seen or heard about have been discussed already. Except one. There are troglodytes who will feel empowered to take you to task if your army/miniatures don't look like they would expect according to the lore. For example, a friend painted some of her x-wing miniatures with rainbow colors because that's what she wanted to do. The regulars who knew and played with her didn't bat an eye. But the occasional interloper from other shops or areas would be seriously offended by her fluff violations. These guys are kind of a gendered variation on the painting snobs that you can sometimes find in the darker recesses of game stores.

My experience is as a big guy. I can break up fist-fights without needing to worry about becoming a casualty myself... so while I'd like to say, "Just tell them to feth off." I can say that because the average someone wouldn't haul off and deck me for doing so.

At my FLGS, we have a diverse group of people that come to play. I haven't seen anything in the way of open discrimination, or even whispers in the back, but I think the owner has established that his store is open to any and all. So hopefully your local groups are of similar mindset.

 Mistresspaige wrote:
So I’m new to 40k and tabletop gaming in general but am a fast learner and have stared snooping around for local gaming groups where I can start playing. I am kind of nervous though as whilst I’m sure it’s not as bad of an issue as say a decade ago is their still stigma to women playing 40k on her lonesome? I’m aware this hobby is more male orientated but I’m optimistic that regardless I will still be treated fairly and be welcomed into the group. If not though do you guys have any advice for me? What should I expect and be aware of in general with 40k gaming groups and how can I best go about earning the respect of my fellow gamers and modellers? I really don’t want to be seen as “the girl” in the group and simply be treated like everyone else.

100%. Hobby gaming is dominated by men, probably even more than video games, and it has had crazy issues with sexism.

It'll be frustrating at times, but if you love it, just stick with it. Find the cool people, and just try to stay away from the dumbasses.

I think there is plenty of room for issues, but it is the standard sort where a certain percentage of men mistreat women. I do not believe the hobby is particularly high-risk. I would be far more wary of getting the 'wrong kind of attention' than straight being discriminated against, if that makes sense.

 NinthMusketeer wrote:
I would be far more wary of getting the 'wrong kind of attention' than straight being discriminated against, if that makes sense.

Hehe, all too true. Not everyone who populates game stores are the most socially adept. Most of the ones I have been to the population is generally accepting of all but the most a-holery and walking bio-hazards. Simply put, someone of a sex they find attractive sharing an interest they have may cause them to try to attract your attention, and not do a very good job of it.

I know I'm here in the States, but there are usually women present about half the time in the larger stores (I think one is a part owner of one of the medium-sized stores), and I don't frequent the smaller ones much to have seen any there (more due to travel times and game interests). You may find out that there are already a few women at your local stores already.

Greetings and welcome. you will be pleased to find out the love for the game builds the community, no matter which system you enjoy

To get your feet wet i highly recommend one of the best channels for batreps and general just painting fun run by wargamer girl-

https://www.youtube.com/user/WarGamerGirl/playlists


She does a weekly paint and chat session every wednesday.

Here is another little glimpse- from the 2010 grand tournament in Seattle Washington (5th edition).

One of the veteran and regular female players fantastic blood angels army




My wife had a tyranid army at one point, but she decided she liked RPGs and online MMORPGs better than wargaming.


Remember-Roll dice, it builds character!

There is no reason to believe you wouldn't be welcome, frankly i think its great more people want to get involved, I saw a post once asking "Will people get to angry if I paint my models too girly?" written by a girl....and all I could think is - If they do get angry then there is something wrong with them, frankly i would find it pretty funny and commend the person for it. Though i could see if your looking to take offence then you could call my laughing "mocking" or something even though I am just seeing humour in girly space marines.

I have never seen a hostile person in the games workshop store and i used to spend huge amounts of time in there as a kid. Now this is one store in Edinburgh but when i went to Games day convention i never saw anyone treated remotely negatively. Everyone i saw was enjoying themselves, now I am sure there are cases where this is not true but its so rare I personally have never seen it.

Walk in with a smile and an open mind and you will likely walk out with a smile. Walk in looking to take offence and you will probably find it, just like when you look for witches you generally find them.

Rebel4ever85 wrote:
There is no reason to believe you wouldn't be welcome, frankly i think its great more people want to get involved, I saw a post once asking "Will people get to angry if I paint my models too girly?" written by a girl....and all I could think is - If they do get angry then there is something wrong with them, frankly i would find it pretty funny and commend the person for it. I have never seen a hostile person in the games workshop store and i used to spend huge amounts of time in there as a kid. Now this is one store in Edinburgh but when i went to Games day convention i never saw anyone treated remotely negatively. Everyone i saw was enjoying themselves, now I am sure there are cases where this is not true but its so rare I personally have never seen it.

Walk in with a smile and an open mind and you will likely walk out with a smile. Walk in looking to take offense and you will probably find it, just like when you look for witches you generally find them.

That is something i never quite understood? what is girly?Why is that an issue since it's your models ?

Not to mention a lot of factions can take such looks quite well . imo.

That is something i never quite understood? what is girly?Why is that an issue since it's your models ?

Not to mention a lot of factions can take such looks quite well . imo.

Who said it was an issue? I have never seen it be an issue, if it is an issue i would say there is something wrong with the person making the issue. Like i said i collected and played as a kid and frankly my models at times could have been painted by a chimp and i did make up my own colours and patterns on certain units. I mean you might not get comments on how cool your units look if they are painted like garbage or with terrible colours but that is about the extent of it. Nobody ever complained or even commented on it...meanwhile my best friend painted like the games workshop staff and always got compliments on how well he painted. I can see how some people could see this as "He gets treated better than me" but frankly even as a child i knew his models were awesome and i didn't bat an eye when he got praise.

Rebel4ever85 wrote:

That is something i never quite understood? what is girly?Why is that an issue since it's your models ?

Not to mention a lot of factions can take such looks quite well . imo.

Who said it was an issue? I have never seen it be an issue, if it is an issue i would say there is something wrong with the person making the issue. Like i said i collected and played as a kid and frankly my models at times could have been painted by a chimp and i did make up my own colours and patterns on certain units. I mean you might not get comments on how cool your units look if they are painted like garbage or with terrible colours but that is about the extent of it.

I totally agree.
But i still don't get the mindset as to why that should be an issue to begin with?

I totally agree.
But i stoll don't get the mindset as to why that should be an issue to begin with?

Nothing to do with the game, likely personal issues. As some people go looking for offence when it doesn't exist there are people who offend people for no obvious reason. The unfortunate truth is its unavoidable and in all aspects of society.

Rebel4ever85 wrote:

I totally agree.
But i stoll don't get the mindset as to why that should be an issue to begin with?

Nothing to do with the game, likely personal issues. As some people go looking for offence when it doesn't exist there are people who offend people for no obvious reason. The unfortunate truth is its unavoidable and in all aspects of society.

In this hobby i have seen it online a few times, But i like to think its really rare as my sanity requires it. There was people who take offence to GW post a few weeks back. And after reading magic news for a few years i have seen some insane issues pop up. Sadly these people do exist and they can make a lot of waves.
But unlikely to meet them i think.

While I don't have a great deal of experience in my city as I'm pretty new to the hobby, I will say that 40k twitter/insta is one of the more diverse online communities I've encountered. Coming from mostly online gaming it was quite liberating to see woman and lgbt+ people at the forefront of the hobby. There's some outliers but that was a big improvement from other communities I've been a part of. It's also true that while stores may be frequented by all ages, tournament and hobby groups here tend to get those who are a little more mature, or at least have learned how to operate to at least a functional standard around those of the opposite sex.

Welcome to the hobby

Short answer:

No. Not if you're there to play and have fun. That's all the overwhelming majority of gamers ask. My gaming group is a pretty solid mix. All I've ever expected is "Play fair, have fun, wash your ass".

Generally your 'creepiest' people are mentally ill. That, or they're the ones that try extra hard to convince you they're not the creepy ones, they're here to protect m'lady aaaaand now he's sniffing your purse.

Don't listen to the horror stories. Most of them are flat-out fabrications from people trying to get attention, or to make you feel like you need them to protect you. Notice how a lot of folks' "horrible group of gamers" that are actually racists, sexists, and all manner of terrible people... well, they're never willing to name the location. You'd think that'd be a pretty important piece of information for the rest of us, right? And they keep going back. Odd thing, that.


Honestly, I game in a place where you'd probably expect us to be a bunch of horrible backwards people (even though my game group is quite varied with LGBT, all races, and at one time about half women)- and if someone's a jerk to a person because they're a woman... that might actually bring out the worst of our traits. Most gals are treated like sisters.

To be fair, you've got an advantage. As a woman you can burn some dude's ego a lot worse than most of us can, and anything he does will make him just look even worse.

Just wash your ass, don't cheat, and have fun.

Seriously, wash your ass. I can't stress this enough.

EDIT: You'll get guys that flirt with you. That's gonna happen. You're a grown woman, from the looks of it, so you know how to deal with that at this point. A lot of people will freak out and act like that's some big terrible thing that should never happen to you, but it's not. It's natural. It's not the 'wrong kind of attention'. It's human nature. Some of them are going to be unattractive and undesirable, and that just happens. It happens to most normal guys, too- if they have a social life. So you just have to learn to manage it, it's part of being an adult.

I'm dating a woman I met in a gaming establishment. I thought she was attractive and interesting, so I went up to her and started talking to her. I made it clear I was interested a bit later. It worked out. Have other guys hit on her? Damned right they have, and I'm not the least bit mad because none of them knew about us- she's a beautiful woman, she's charming, she's hilarious, and she's got fun interests. What single, heterosexual man in his right mind wouldn't approach her? It's a gaming shop, not the workplace (actually it was my workplace but I wasn't on the clock).

Don't let the pearl-clutchers and panic-peddlers ruin your expectations of gaming, miss. You'll do fine.

You'll be shocked to find that "Warhammer is for everyone", and honestly it always has been. That ain't a new concept.

If you find yourself in a place where you are treated differently (in a negative way), I highly suggest you just leave. Let it rot. You're not missing anything. And do come back and tell us what the location was so we can all avoid it, ridicule them, and watch the place financially collapse in on itself.

Because seriously, I'm dying to know what these places are, because all the horror stories seem to be really intent on keeping this information a protected secret.

My experience (as a cishet white-passing male) is that your experience will vary depending on who you end up gaming with (with a loose correlation to average age/maturity level of the group you fall in with, though exceptions always apply).

In all honesty, the duds in the community are an increasing minority relative to "normies", so worst comes to worst if you encounter a group that gives you a hard time just find a new group, chances are it will probably be an improvement. If you're on twitter, I highly recommend searching out some of the Twitterverse 40k personalities (#warmongers and #warwardens are your friends in this case) and seeing if any of them are located near you. The UK has a seemingly fairly tight-knit community of progressive-minded individuals on Twitter, including quite a few female gamers, that are actively working to make the 40k community more welcoming to women, POC, LGBTQ+, etc. I'm sure that some of them can probably help point you in the right direction

chaos0xomega wrote:
... If you're on twitter..

Honestly if you're on Twitter, my advice is to not be on Twitter.

I'm not just being facetious and a troll here. Well, maybe a little jest but honestly I think trying to get a feel for 40k communities by sampling the internet is like trying to get a taste of Mexican culture at Taco Bell.

OP is looking for people to game/hobby with, I think?

Online communities are really, really sketchy. Sure, you can claim they're trying to make things better on the internet, but I've also seen way too many of these 'good boys' on the internet come out with so many skeletons in their closet you'd swear it was the Paris Catacombs. That, and I personally watched a mob of them tell a woman that she should be grateful because if it wasn't for them being 'allies' that all those other guys would- well, I'm sure you can imagine. Or you can be skeptical. Irrelevant.

It's fine to have a chat with people online about gaming. But honestly I'd suggest that any player's best bet is to go look into the local gaming shops, stick their head in the door and buy a few things, and see what the place is like on Friday. People can really put on one hell of a false persona online, and when it comes to meeting strangers in person after being online? Eh... that's how the more credible stories start out.

...of course right now, Corona-Chan's got the social things on a dampener.

In retro spect, I think that joing any game alone is a risky idea. And even more so, if non of the people know you, from some place else.

Doesn't matter if it is online or a store community to be honest. And it doesn't seem to matter what country it is either.

Karol wrote:
In retro spect, I think that joing any game alone is a risky idea. And even more so, if non of the people know you, from some place else.

Doesn't matter if it is online or a store community to be honest. And it doesn't seem to matter what country it is either.

I'd have to disagree.

When I moved to where I live now? Man, you wouldn't believe me if I told you but it was really rough on me. I had a great job opportunity, good money, nice home to live in... and I didn't know anyone.

Dude, it was lonely. I couldn't even unpack my boxes. I just put my bed up, turned on my computer, and drank a lot. Then I decided to get off my rear and take my models down to the local shops and see what was going on.

Day 1: I met some guys, we did a game, still great friends- we still game or do some hobby-work once a week now. This was many years ago.

In all honesty, that's kinda why I still really love 40k- despite all its flaws, despite the insane prices, despite some of the issues... it's helped me out a lot. I'm naturally not much of an outgoing person, I don't like going to bars so much, and most of my other hobbies are more 'solitary' things.

And I travel with my job sometimes, so I can still end up just throwing my game cases in the truck and during my stay- find the nearest game shop and go meet some people. Sure, sometimes you find a place that's a little weird... but most of the time, it's great.

Fun fact: Out "in the desert" out West, I played at a game shop while I as traveling. Made friends with a couple of folks. Once every year, I still go out there and hang with these folks and we do some games and go camping, shoot guns, tell spoopy stories... It's pretty awesome.

Well we are lucky to have one store close, or one gym. And people are always tribal in those. You walk in to a place with the wrong football team shirt or speak with the wrong accent, and you would have been better to have stayed at home.

If you don't have people to intreduce you it is very hard. And even then it can end bad. I joined my store, because of people from school. And my entry in to the hobby was getting tricked in to buying GK. Stuff like that never happens to people who have older brothers or cousins already playing at the store. Or at least never happened through the 2 years, I have played w40k.

And it my town in generaly peacful and small. Comparing to the things that can happen to you in lets say Cracov aka the city of knifes or Warsaw, we are a tight knit narrative casual group. And it is not just me, most people from my part of the world have stories like that. Try speaking polish at any store in Lithuania.

Welcome on board.
We have two women in our 40k club, one a veteran and the other brand new to the hobby.
Both have slotted into the group seemlessly and with no friction at all. We play a variety of games, board and tabletop and they dip in and out as they wish as does everyone.
I've never once witnessed anything even remotely weird since they've been coming, none of the guys even blinked when they rocked up, just interested in what armies they were bringing.
Have fun.