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2020/12/06 00:49:50
Subject: Catachans
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Been Around the Block
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CATACHANS
Just a couple of little known facts to remember when you criticize them:
A Catachan sneaking up on you is actually just being courteous enough to not make your last few minutes as grief stricken, urine stained, and terrifying as they could be.
Even a mark of chaos isn't as dark as the shiner you get from a catachan's kiss (headbutt).
On predator homeworlds there's a pyramid where once every hundred years Catachans send their youths to hunt them.
Catachans are the reason that Furiens and Mandalore aren't in 40k.
Catachan Devils can sneak up on the eye of Sauron in broad daylight across an open field wearing flourescents ponchos.
Catachans are the reason there are no Wood-Eldar tribes in 40k.
Catachan women use 'morning after' pills as prenatal vitamins when pregnant with Catachan children.
While not actually magical, a Catachan blade is so sharp it can kill a spirit host or banshee.
If bit by a Catachan you won't actually become a Catachan(that's an old wive's tale)
C'tan is actually Hiveganger slang for a Catachan.
Catachans sell their surplus 'swords' to the Callidus temple to make a little extra during the holidays.
An unarmed catachan can disarm a Catcus with two moves. A Catachan Devil can do it in one and use the Cactus's momentum against it.
Catachans often visit the Emperor to see how he's holding up without mentioning the fact that he was beat up by a sissy-girl. They really do care as is obvious by the flowers and cards that the Adeptus Custodes clean up after them.
The Silent King came out because "enough is enough!" As an aside, when faced against Catachans, Necrons can evoke the "phase out" rule again at their discretion to avoid embarassment.
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2020/12/07 07:20:56
Subject: Catachans
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Regular Dakkanaut
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It’s not true that ‘chewing that stuff will make you a sexual Tyrannosuarus, just like a Catachan’.
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2020/12/11 03:18:33
Subject: Catachans
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Mindless Spore Mine
Ohio
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One day a Catachan tripped on Cadia . . .
Automatically Appended Next Post:
One day a Catachan tripped on Cadia . . .
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This message was edited 1 time. Last update was at 2020/12/11 03:19:28
I bought squats. I want gyrocopters, and huge mortars.
Or Zoats, got a solid squad of them. |
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2020/12/11 03:21:41
Subject: Catachans
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Enigmatic Chaos Sorcerer
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I eagerly await the model revamp this thread deserves.
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 BlaxicanX wrote:A young business man named Tom Kirby, who was a pupil of mine until he turned greedy, helped the capitalists hunt down and destroy the wargamers. He betrayed and murdered Games Workshop.
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2020/12/11 05:46:40
Subject: Catachans
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Ship's Officer
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2020/12/11 10:03:22
Subject: Catachans
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Frenzied Berserker Terminator
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High five fella, high five. Awesome work.
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2020/12/11 21:10:55
Subject: Catachans
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Inspiring SDF-1 Bridge Officer
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There are no Catachan tanks. What you’re actually seeing is a Catachan in a tent armed with a straw and spitballs.
For Catachan, fight ‘Nids is a day at the zoo.
Catachan only lose to Tau because they get bored too quick;y with the lack of challenge.
Automatically Appended Next Post:  Blue Falcon wrote:CATACHANS
If bit by a Catachan you won't actually become a Catachan(that's an old wive's tale)
In truth, it means you have 15 seconds to live.
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This message was edited 1 time. Last update was at 2020/12/11 21:13:50
It never ends well |
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2020/12/12 13:54:53
Subject: Re:Catachans
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Ancient Venerable Dark Angels Dreadnought
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A common cure for constipation in the Imperium is listening to the sound of a Catachan unsheathing his knife.
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