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SWAT III: Under Siege

OK there's cheap, there's direct-to-video cheap, and then there's "we can't even afford to license the theme song of the TV show we're derived from". I swear half the budget went to renting Black SUVs for this one.

Which is a shame because this is a halfway competent action film.

Sgt Stewart S Swat (who is unfortunately not played by Steven Siegal but by some guy from Parenthood, and not the good Parenthood, the movie, the mediocre sitcom Parenthood) and Seattle SWAT capture drug lord/assassin/mercenary/CIA operative/demon spawn Al Simmons and hold him in Fort Swat. So the local drug lord/mercenary/crime boss/whatever sends his private army of the baddest badashes in all of Seattle to get him back. And only Sgt Swat and Mockingbird Agent of SHIELD stand in their way!

Will Team SWAT fight off the army of mercenaries? Will Trooper Benedict Arnold betray them? Will Al Simmons kill a whole big buttload of guys? Will Bad Hacker defeat Good Hacker and hack open the door? Can you hack a door? I mean that doesn't seem like the sort of thing you'd put on an integrated network, surely they'd be on a hardwired system no? That was First Traitor, but what about Second Traitor?

So it's a good idea for a Bottle Episode, a couple of SWAT guys, Adrianne Palicki and Michael Jai White and whoever played Sgt Swat against an army of goons so generic they all wear facemasks so you can use the same stunt guy again and again. It has flaws, Sgt Swat is completely uninteresting and the rest of the team gets no personality. But again, good wall paper for building Arbites.

Now the question is, do I jump into SWAT The Series?

Play us out Robert Duncan!

The main guy in the SWAT TV show is also in Sonic II!

The universe is a small place!

Breaking

A few years ago John Boyega was the darling of fresh British acting talent. He dominated the screen time in Attack the Block and was one of the rare elements of the Star Wars sequels that wasn't utterly embarrassing. So I'm interested to see him in a real acting role and try to make a fair judgement.

Sadly, this isn't the film for that. For too much of the film it feels as though if they could have got Denzel Washington to do the part then they'd have preferred that. Indeed, given that the plot is hostage taking to right the wrongs of unfair bureaucracy, there's a strong feeling of low budget John Q. running through the whole affair. For too much of the film John is pulling a Denzel impression and only in sparse moments do we get to see him breaking through (during which he is very, very good).

While it's not a bad film, I can only recommend as a curiosity.

Woodshock

I saw it had Kirsten Dunst and decided to give it a watch. This is..... not the movie for me.

Very slow pacing, not a lot of dialogue, and focused mostly on short, tightly clipped, hallucinations often involving the forest and lumberjack industry.

I am not saying it was bad, but it just wasn't for me.

 Easy E wrote:
Woodshock

I saw it had Kirsten Dunst and decided to give it a watch. ....

Your actions were made for the universally correct reasons. Shame it didn't work out so well.

Labyrinth of Cinema

Imagine Neal Breen was a talented artist with something genuine to say.

Nobuhiko Obayashi, director of House/Hausu, co-wrote, directed and edited this to be his ultimate movie about movies, war movies, and movies about war movies. The story structure is surreal and nonlinear in places, using layers of artificiality and jaunty, upbeat pacing to tell a very real and not at all jaunty or upbeat story about Japanese wartime atrocities. It urges the audience to seek a future of peace, to use positive movies and art for inspiration. It was almost overwhelming, in terms of emotion and visual stimulation. I recommend it.


However, if you only ever see one Obayashi movie, see House.

i love Labyrinth of Cinema! i was just thinking about it a few minutes ago, even. easily one of my all-time favorite movies

it's a movie that really earns its length for how much complexity it's able to stuff into it. not just focusing on the effect that war had on Japan, but the effects that Japan's war had on the countries surrounding it, especially the Ryukyuan islands (otherwise known as Okinawa), and for as much as can be said about the negative effects the war had on Japan, the effects for those other countries experienced were far more grave. or, for the film aspect of the film, the way that film itself can be used as medium for keeping the experiences, thoughts, and beliefs alive for future generations to learn from (a theme further emboldened by this being Obayashi's last; thus, his sendoff and his attempt to push forward into future generations

truly an incredible film, and one that only gets better the more time you have to think about it

Mortdecai

In which Johnny Depp pretends he has a fraction of the charm of Terry Thomas,

A frustratingly uneven film. It most definitely has its moments, and when those land it’s very enjoyable. But when you’re done watching, part from the odd quote, completely fades from memory.