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Codex Akwatic Desert Raidas
(Culled from oral histories of dying orks and observations of imperial witnesses)
First observed over seven years ago in attacks on isolated settlements, the Waagh - Akwatic Desert Raidas (ADR) is believed to have gotten its start almost ten years earlier, after a young mek from the Deff Skull clan (who had only recently looted a set of mech tools) made an important discovery of classified and historical documents in a remote mineral mining camp on Verindi 4.
It is believed that a cache of old earth flimsies and discs were captured and interpreted by an enterprising mech who then went by the name of Machinehead. Machinehead had earned his name a year earlier when shrapnel from an experiment gone bad imbedded itself permanently in his head. The miner (whose corpse was used as a handy seat for the young mech) was interested in old earth technology and oceanic research. It appears the major influences on Machinehead were some old victory at sea tapes, some exploration movies involving a French [old earth government – see cross reference “cheese eating surrender monkeys”] oceanic explorer and a copy of “Jane’s Fighting Ships”.
Machinehead immediately saw potential in the materials (or perhaps it was the fungus beer talking), as well as an immediate threat to Orks as current Ork forces had no ships to counter the humie Warboss Jane. It never occurred to Machinehead that the largest body of water on Verindi 4 was only a few feet long and a few inches deep as he designed and created an ork naval task force of ships to fight Jane.
Machinehead’s reading of these classified materials indicated that Warboss Jane’s ships were vastly undergunned – the largest gun being only 16 inches, about a fifth of the size of most shootas. He fitted his vehicles with rokkits, shootas and boomguns to easily counter that humie gun threat. What was troubling was the Jane’s ships displacement potential in thousands of tons – Machinehead’s and other Mek efforts to displace objects via their Shock Attack Guns were a few pounds of grot at best. A crash program was developed (with an awful lot of crashes) to significantly upgun all SAG weapons which continues today, with mixed results.
Each Ork ship built is carefully tested for ocean fighting (sometimes with a whole bucket of water) by the Meks of the ADR. Not a single ship has ever failed this test, due to careful Ork Konstruction techniques. However a number of ships have been and continue to be lost in failed attempts to perfect a “desert torpedo”.
Machinehead never lived to see his dream of an Ork naval task force realized, as he insisted on being the first naval “aviatork” in an untested flying machine. The ADR lives on.
“Not Fit for Sea” – when encountering a water hazard of any kind with the vehicles of the ADR, instead of a standard difficult terrain roll, roll a d6. On a roll of 2-4 the vehicle becomes immobilized. On a roll of 1 it, its crew and any troops it is transporting disappear into the body of water (no matter how deep) with a loud “BLOOP!” – never to be seen again.
“Sailz iz fast” – adding sails to any vehicle gives it a plus 1” movement rate. For clarity these vehicles cannot be painted red in addition to having sails as that is “unlucky”. There is no points cost for sails, although they are targetable as if they were the ‘hull’ of the vehicle.
"Shock Attack Gun Instability" - the shock attack guns of the ADR have been heavily modified producing very strange results. In addition to the normal strength and "to hit" ordinance roll, roll once on each of the following tables.
1 = -4 to strength roll (cannot be less than 3)
2 = -2 to strength roll (canot be less than 3)
3 = -1 to strength roll (cannot be less than 3)
4 = +1 to strength roll (cannot be more than 9)
5 = +2 to strength roll (cannot be more than 9)
6 = +4 to strength roll (cannot be more than 9)
1,2 = use small blast template, +2 strength (cannot be more than 9)
3 = use flamer template, center small end over target, roll ordinance dice to determine direction of fire (direct hit is shooting player's choice) (+1 strength, cannot be more than 9)
4-6 = use large blast template as normal
Waaghboss Steve ZissORK ("Boss Z")
Waaghboss Steve ZissORK rose to prominence in the ADR through a mixture of size, luck, treachery and treachery. He is best known among the ADR for his defense of his position in duels fought only in a speedo and knit cap, however, in combat he has deigned to wear additional wargear (even though chafing is a problem, especially in later rounds of combat). Possessed of a low cunning, he has never failed to cheat, connive, ambush, take the low road, disappoint or betray to achieve his aims, in the highest of ork traditions.
He is equipped with a specially mek designed atmosphere suit that would allow him to dive hundreds of feet beneath the sea (if there was one), although he shot a few holes into it because it was "a bit stuffy". Although offered a wooden leg by Jacques CORKsteau, Big Mek of the ADR ("it's traditional"), Boss Z prefers his steel cybork legs for kicking opponents on the ground. Although touted for increased protection by his meks, it appears the canopy of his suit was added more to protect the meks than Boss Z, as he has a tendency to bite all within range when he is enraged (this got him kicked out of KindORKgarden when he was just a spore). His twin linked shoota and claw may be a bit oversized, but Waaghboss ZissORK swears he is not "compensating" for anything. Really.
With his trusty ammo grot "Grunnion" and his specially bred, miniature great white shark squig "Whitey" he stands ready to take on all comers.
BIG MEK WITH SAG
Jacques CORKsteau (name taken from historical materials) - the current Big Mek of the ADR goes to battle in a specially designed diving bubble (the “Calypsork”) that can carry an SAG or KFF. The extra armor is needed as the SAG weapons of the ADR are often adjusted and modified to try to match the displacement production of humie ships. A special cadre of deep sea huntas pictured above keep him supplied with the grots necessary for his experiments.
BIG MEK WITH KFF
The Kaptun (pictured with his trusty sidekick, Tin Eel) will fire up his kooly konstructed kontraption at the drop of a hat or the whine of a bolt round.
With a kustom skortcha or megablasta he is equipped to shoot and shield.
Kaptin Krunch - always on the lookout for a tasty snack, it is believed that this warphead also took his name from the historical materials (although a small contingent of the raidas believes he may be named after a sugary snack food and he constantly has to dodge boyz trying to bite him). Known for his battle cries “Death to the Soggies!” and “Stays Krunchy, even in milk!”
“Da Wet ‘Tings” – Disguising themselves as innocent sea creatures and other wet things, these orks can sneak through the desert to surprise their enemies. Their leader “Lobstanob” has the same profile as Snikrot. What a coincidence.
“Harpoonas” – using harpoon guns these deft surgeons of the shooting set can spear a shiny piece of swag from across a battlefield (and probably whatever is attached to that loot as well).
“Fish-a-men” – though not much on catching fish, any ork can see the fun in throwing large sharp hooks around, especially if control is impaired by a big stick. Fly fishing (or the idea of it) was an immediate hit as “flies iz roight tasty”, but after determining how hard it is to catch flies with large hooks, they mostly use ‘em as weapons now. These nobs are also quite inventive. One nob named Gore invented the “Inta-net” after he chased a few guardsmen “inta” one. They wuz roight tasty too.
"Deep Divas" - these boys are armored to the "gills" and ready for scrap....erm....for a scrap (that's better). They travel with the Waaghboss who is not afraid to sacrifice a few of them for the "greater goods", as long as the Waaghboss is the recipient of said goods. Based on the Bioshok "Big Daddies"
"Da KRAKens" - I knew there would be a squid pun in here somewhere. Da Krakens feature an anchor swingin' nob and the suicide grots, who "go Boom" like regular bomb squigs.
“Carrya Airkraft” –Machinehead realized from watching the tapes that sea power had to include naval aviation and he designed the “mosquito fita bommas” found in the ADR that can be launched from a battlewagon “airkraft carria”. They do launch easy enough but the problem is landing them again. No problem, as there are plenty of spare parts after a crash (once you scrape the burnt bitz off) and no dearth of Orks who aspire to be Naval Aviatorks.
SKORTCHA BUGGY AND SHOOTA BUGGIES
"SKortcha Cigarette"- Fast and firey - make your favorite "inappropriate" joke here.
“Monitork” and “Merorkmac" - finally ont eh same side, although they still often shoot at each other for old times sake.
"Nessie Rokkit Buggies" - you know i have to say it -- "Loched and Loaded".
DEFFKOPTAS, BIKES OR BUGGIES
"Huvvakraft" - or what to do with cheap yo-yo halves. A very versatile unit depending on what i need to round out my fast attack corps.
TROOPS - DA BOYZ and DERE TRUKS
“Scuba Boyz” – There are no fiercer orks in masks, snorkels and flippers (this is a true statement). These slugga boys really dive for the enemy and have no battle cry - silent but deadly. Hur, hur, hur.
“Surfa Boyz” – “Cow – WAAGH – bunga Dudes!” On their grot powered boards these slugga boyz hang ten and rip the curl into battle. The boards can double as armor – making them ‘ard Boyz when I have a few extra points to spend.
“Navy Boyz” – Navy Boyz are recruited from various villages (they are a “village people”) and hold to the navy code “Anchors A –WAAGH!” These shoota boyz (also known as “swabbies”) can really clean up a battlefield.
“Phib Beakies” – From the halls of Gorka Morka, these slugga boy beakie wannabees in their LVS can get there in a hurry with a No. 10 can of “whup-ass”. Semper Fi? “OOO – WAAGH!” Armed with useless stick bombs – thanks GW!
Preferred conveyance for the beakie boyz - based loosely on a WWII "LVS"
Anuver conveyance, often used by the MANZ when I am running out of points - based loosely on a WWII "DUKW"
Da Barrel Boyz
DA Duckey Drivas
“Ork Royal” – Deffkopta airkraft carrya, the ADR flagship. Pride of the fleet. A little rusty.
“Orklahoma” – easily outguns humie ships with its boomgun. Facilities are for krew use only.
"Da Luv Boat" - appropriate, if you love Dakka.
Based loosely on the WWII "AMTRAKS" - the preferred ride of Da Krakens. Marshmallow anyone?
(floating) DEFDREDS and KANs (with swimmie rings)
“Da Prong” – can you say "dred on stilts" – sure – I knew you could. Named after the buzz saw - 'nuff said.
“Jaws” – Four CCW of death and an alligator swimmie ring to prevent drowning.
“Kans” – my favorite is the ducky.
"Pirate Lobbas" - I was gonna go with "landlobbas" here but even i couldn't make that pun. Arrrrrgh! (what they say when they die horribly)
"Sub-Hamma" - my take on an old favorite.
"Great Pink Land Snail" - anyone remember Rex Harrison in "Dr. Doolittle"? Not pictured with the "S-cargo Slugga Boyz", the dedicated unit.
made these two for ORCFEST - Given away as prizes - but i can still count them as mine....
Varies with my mood. I tend to play best looking models, which hurts my effectiveness in combat.
Why I Started This Army
Solely for fun. Not much profit in it.