I saw this great thread in Dakka discussions and thought it deserved immortality in the Dakka articles. Enjoy the best of the worst moments of W40K

wash-away wrote:

today I had an endoscopy to see if I had an ulcer. so they sedated me for the procedure etc etc.

however when I was about half to I started raising my arm and saying "for the emperor!" and someone put my arm down so I raised the other one saying "all hail the immortal emperor of mankind!"

after I had really come too I realized I was in a hospital out-patient room with a lot of other people around. fortunately the curtain by my bed was mostly closed but still.

god forbid if they ever sedate me again. but any of you have stories where you've embarrassed yourself because of 40K?

warpcrafter wrote:

I once put anchovies juice in a co-worker's coca-cola because I caught him doodling in a white dwarf that I brought to read on my break. Imagine the conversation that ensued with him and our boss right before I got fired. It was so worth it. No actor can make the face he made when he drank that, no matter how hard they try!

Red_Lives wrote:

My tattoo cock-blocked me once. I have an imperial eagle tattoo on my upper back that goes from shoulder to shoulder. Needless to say its usually 100% covered by shirts that i wear.

So I'm at her place we start making out on the couch, I'm 100% sure I'm going to round home i take off my shirt she sees my tattoo and thinks I'm a Nazi. Now it is quite difficult to explain to a woman that the black eagle on your back is in fact not a symbol of Nazi oppression but fanatical devotion to a game of little plastic men.

So yea... She just threw me out in a fit of rage, since i was unable to explain the tattoo to acceptable standers (i didn't think she believed me) so i just shamefully walked away and left.

captain.gordino wrote:

I approached a girl at the train station coming back from my FLGS, and our conversation was about five lines in and looking good when she noticed my GW bag and just walked away. Harsh.

reds8n wrote:

Long time back I got dumped at the " Bishy Hull Under 17's disco" when I was at school as I'd promised to spend some " quality time" with my then girlfriend and take her out down town, but I was unable to as I blew all my paper round money on the new Mighty Empires box set so we could have an awesome 3 set campaign game one weekend.

..... And I regret nothing ! NOTHING ! You hear me !

Kroeger wrote:

When I was in High School I had an intercom in my bedroom connected to the kitchen. My mother would occasionally call down to me and get responses along the lines of, "Die Xenos Scum", "For the Emperor", and "Protect Sector 6" when talking to me in the early morning.

Squig_herder wrote: i was in melbourne, australia, going to visit a GW store while i was down to battle and i had to large carry cases, now i was hungrier than a raging squig and i put both of them down at a table and ran across to a fast food outlet as fast as possible as i was close to passing out of hunger, now when people saw me drop two large cases with a strange symbol on it and run, they started to scream, i didnt even get served before sercurity came to arrest me, i had to explain to them it was 40k and i even took them to the GW store and they still gave me a weird look.

BT_Guy wrote: We were traveling to Concord with our armies. My brother boxed his and had it checked. Mine was in two cases, the smaller was a tackle-box with troops and hobby supplies that I carried on. Oops, hobby supplies. This included my exacto knife, blade and all! I made it through two airports before I got stopped by a hand inspection in Boston. The lady pulled it out and gave me this look. I had her open the rest of the drawers to see the models, glue, paint, etc and I'll be darned if she didn't let me through! I thought I would be lucky to go home without my army, if not end up in a detention area. I really appreciate the lady letting me through, but with a bittersweet regret, because it was in March 2001, just six months before the terrorist went through that same airport on 9/11.

But having that blade pulled out by airport security was an extreme emotion of some embarrassment and LOTS of fear.

Shep wrote: This happened at this last Vegas GT.

My roommate for the event is married, so he has less shame when it comes to this hobby. I packed my army up in its transport cases and carried the display board under my arm as we went up to the hotel room, which was a little more discrete than my roommate who just brashly carried his display base in both arms with all the models spread out on it.

These two drunk sluts were in the elevator with us and got off on our floor. One of them couldn't resist, and started in with the questions. Both my roommate and I tried to politely describe the hobby. Which was difficult to do when talking to a 'whisky tango' tramp...

The conversation ended up here.

her- "you didn't paint those things here in Vegas did you?"

roommate- "no we are here playing in a tournament."

her- "Good because there are a lot better things to do in Vegas than paint toys."

me- "You mean like whoring?"

I timed the retort well, my roommate had just gotten our door open, so we were able to step inside just before her attempt to upturn my roommates display base succeeded.

burb1996 wrote: Ok. So with the dawn of 5th Edition I decided to get the "Gamers" Edition. With this it comes with the rule book, templates, and the kick butt bolter ammo case....Any one familiar with the overly paranoid airport security and police force we currently have in the US can see where this is going....

So I work at a High School (11th and 12th graders) and having an hour lunch I thought "Hey, great time to do some touch ups on my mini's.". But the problem arose as to exactly how I was going to get them to work without breaking them....and not getting heckled by all the kido's (I work IT- so I still hear the "Dude, your getting a Dell" slogan ALL the time...). So I in my infinitely naive mind was thinking "Hey...this box is a perfect fit for my backpack!".

Well, 8 hours and a very constructive lunch later I am making my way to go home. As I leave later than all of the teachers I have to deal with all of the security doors being closed and our previously mentioned security guards...As I get to the door to the office I realize my car keys are in the bottom of the pack. So Im unloading and digging around for them when one of our new guards walks up.

After asking me to explain why I am in the building I show him my badge and continue merrily on my way. Until he see's the tin.

him- "So, you be caref.....OH MY GOD!" The man literally put his hand on his sidearm and gets on the walki talkie calling in that there was a bomb in the building.

So here I am trying desperately to explain what it really was and my principal shows up. He at least lets me open the thing to show him my mini's before he very calmly and matter-of-factly tells me

"Matthew, do not ever bring that thing in here again.".

So that was the end of my "Lets get some hobby time in at lunch" phase.....

God Bless rent-a-cops.....

Commissar Molotov wrote: I have two hard-sided plastic rifle cases - I use one to transport my miniatures, and the other to store my rather wicked-looking SKS rifle with scope, bipod, flash hider and extended magazine.

(No, I'm not a total nut-case - I only target shoot with it!)

Anyway, I went down to my local game store for a game, hoisted what I thought was my miniatures case up on the table, and opened it to display that same wicked-looking rifle in front of Gawd, little kids, greasy gamers, and shrieking mothers...

Thankfully, the owner and the other gamers knew me well enough to accept my apology without calling the police!

CapNCaveman! wrote: Years ago, when the IG Catachans came out, I had a nice looking shadow box full of plastic catachan guard, all painted up in rambo-tigerstripe camo, everything. Lived in an apt off-post ( in the US Army at the time ) and my girlfriend comes over for some evening "activities"

--later that nite, she gets up to go to the restroom, it's dark, and accidentally shoulder-checks the shadowbox, and the entire 31st regiment of the Catachan guard falls 4 ft onto the tile floor...the regiment sustains about 30% casualties, and she comes back in and says " Sorry..i broke your army men..they fell apart real easy, were they old? oh I hope they weren't a family heirloom or something.."

I explain that they are all hand assembled and painted, and very expensive, but it's cool, I can fix them, no worries, etc, and I proceed to pick up all the lasguns, flamers, arms, etc...

She then says "why would you go through all that trouble"?... and I have to explain the hobby...then she says " Wow, I just slept with a guy that still plays with toy soldiers..."

We have been married for 5 years now.

Saldiven wrote: I may be the only man in America who has gotten laid because of 40K.

I met a girl in a swing dance class one afternoon. I asked her out to dinner that evening. During the meal, I learned that she was into theater and played Ever-crack after I confided that I had played it years ago before I got into dancing. After that revelation, I surprised her with a short outing to the FLGS to meet some of my friends playing 40K. She thought it was hilarious, and that's when she started acting all affectionate towards me. I guess she recognized a kindred geek-spirit.

We left there and went to a public park not far from the dance studio...let's just say I'm glad there were no cops doing their rounds there that evening.

Sgt.Roadkill wrote: about 6 years ago when i was 15 and had only been playing 40K for about 2 years and my mum kept going around and making stupid 40K related comments, how she recognized 40K symbols or other stuff i dunno, but it culminated in her starting a conversation with a guy on the tube who had a Blood Angel badge on his bag. The guy looked so terrified when a slight mad aging hippy started talking to him that my mum tried to put him at his ease by saying 'Don't worry i am a sister of battle in disguise'... Now seriously why would you tell some random person this?

The Anti-Jack wrote:

While on a road trip several months ago, I crashed on my uncle's couch for one night. At around 3 or 4 am one of my cousins got up for some reason (I can't remember why). What ever it was he had to pass by the couch I was sleeping on. He accidentally knocked over a small table. This woke me up, rather suddenly, from a dream of Warhammer 40k.

Now one must understand that the only light in the room came from my open laptop, which had a blue background. This of course made my cousin look blue. You probably see where this is going.

With a scream of "For the God-Emperor!" I attempted to tackle the foul xeno scum, but got tangled in my blanket and fell short. Then I remembered that the Imperium of Man and Tau Empire were part of the fictional world of Warhammer 40,000 and did not, in point of fact, exist. I was not a member of the Imperial Guard. The Tau I was planning to pin down and beat to death was my cousin. Further more I realized that I would have to explain what 40K, specifically, what the Emperor, was to my cousin. My extremely christian cousin who believed that something like Harry Potter was the work of the devil. How would he react to the God-Emperor of 40K? My guess is he would have probably tried to save my soul (again), and that's irritating to say the least. Luckily he didn't hear what I said, so I went back to sleep and that was that.

The Metal Tide wrote: My mate and I were standing round talking about 40k when his girlfriend happened to walk by. Overhearing what we were talking about she stops and asks us. "What are you talking about." in response we say "Do you know what Warhammer is." She says "Is it a name for some guys penis."

Of course we laughed... that is until she walked away angry.