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This thread is basically a story about my Imperial Guard regiment.


(sorry if this is in the wrong forum)


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Marksman Jericho pulled the trigger on his Long Las and felt the familiar recoil as the weapon pressed into his shoulder; from his elavated position he could see the body of the traitor he had killed. A clear head shot, he was pleased. But now was not the time for celebrating as he knew that he would be soon found if he did not change positions for his next kill.
Jericho edged away from the building and crawled into a nearby crater. He concealed his rifle with some material from his cape, knowing that it could make the difference between life and death. Looking down the scope he saw a panicked officer most likely worried about the prospect of more shots from their unseen foe. Too bad for him thought Jericho and pulled the trigger, he smiled as he saw the officers body jerk as the round found its mark. For one second he felt a shiver of fear knowing all too well that it could have been him lying dead from an assasins bullet; but he knew that any doubt would mean death so concentrated on staying hidden whilst moving away from the enemy, back to his lines hoping that he would live to see another day.


To be continued....

Jericho reached his lines covered in mud from his escapade. "Thunder" He called.
"Flash" Was the reply. With that Jericho crawled into the trench and to his commander, Captain Elliot's billet.
Jericho walked briskly through the curtain and saluted smartly. "At ease" replied the Captain yawning.
"Sir I am reporting to say that I have made 2 kills"
"Oh yes?"
"A Merdian gurdsma... er I mean a Merdian Traitor, and a Merdian Major co-ordinating their forces"
"Frakking good show"
"Was that all?" Queried Jericho.
"Er not quite, you are to be promoted to Corporal" Answered Captain Elliot with a hint of satisfaction. "Thank you sir" Said Jericho, saluting smartly.
"Dismissed."
Jericho walked happily from the Captains billet and went to his own dugout for a quick sleep as he needed a rest after running on Re-caf with no sleep for 4 days.

I like it so far, a bit short but because of that you didn't have any wasted filler.

If you wanted any comment on how you might improve this story, and I am straining to find one, just remember that people want to like the working class soldier and they want to hate the Commanding Officer. In other words you may want to experiment with making Captian Elliot into more of a or a useless lump.

I'm a civilian but I find it hard to see that a Private\PFC\Lance Corporal would enter a Captains tent for a debriefing. If you want people to like Mr. Elliot Knock him down to Sgt or Lt. If you want people to hate him keep him at Captain and have him show a lot less respect toward the random grunt who wandered into his tent.

Finally, this article section http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sniper#In_warfare is pretty good for a quick overview of what a sniper does in the battle field. If you ever need ideas for another story give it a look over.

thanks i made it like that because he is meant to be a young officer only recently promoted and the men love him. Because of this he always makes it a personal matter to debrief his men.#


Edit: Discount the top part of the post.


"Frak all this how in the name of The emperor did I make corporal?" Jericho said to himself "I gakking hope its not because of my brother, emperor bless him.
That frak head captain thinking he can take me under his wing after the death of my brother, he just wants glory I could see it in his eyes frak him!"
Jericho was not the only man who hated Captain Elliot, most of the company shared his views that he was a frakking glory hound; however none voiced there opinions as one word against their commander would mean death.

Outside Jericho's dugout a fellow trooper (Trooper Johnson) a pious Emperor follower heard Jericho's ranting and would have taken what he had heard to the Captain. However he hesitated Jericho was a close freind of his and that if he told their frak head of a Captain his freind would be shot. Johnson decided that he would just leave him alone, knowing Jericho would calm down.

"Okay men listen up, I've been ordered to pick four of you lucky frakkers to acompany me on amission to find and kill Traitor Lord General Karneil Paert. Any volunteers?" Shouted Corporal Jericho.
None of the men raised their hands, "Am I going to have to pick them then? Eh? Okay Olav,Verinski,Rolenski and Karnel. Meet me in the forward trench in twenty minutes; bring your equipment!"

The men in the forward trench were solemn knowing that this would be one hell of a mission; however none of the doubted Jericho and respected him because of his brother. "Listen up! We'll be going to Renra city" There were murmurs from the troopers around Jericho. "Quiet! This is far behind enemy lines so we will not have radio contact with base until we are back in our sector. That's about it; ok lets get out of this trench I want to make Trelka by morning." The men of Jericho's chosen "Hit Team" advanced cautiously forwards not knowing what dangers may lie ahead of them.

Can someone post a reply, with 74/75 views I would have thought I would get more than one response.


On a further note continuation of the story will follow tomorrow.

You like the word 'Frak' don't you?

Anyway, nice story, more punctuation though please.

Grimm

Thanks grimm. Yeah I do like the word its because I can't think of more varied ones atm; will include more punctuation in the story tonight.


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Rolenski was on point when he saw a squad of Merdians. His first instinct was to warn the rest of the squad, however he knew that one word would mean that they would be heard; then either be shot or captured. Not two hopeful options, so Rolenski decided to lay low and let the Merdians pass.
Five minutes had passed and Rolenski was getting nervous, beads of sweat trickled down his face wetting his cape. Finally the Merdians went away, shouldering his Long-Las Rolenski advanced; slower now but still making good progress.

They were on the outskirts of Trelka, the sky was begining to brighten; and the squad hurried their descent into the town. "Corporal. There are two sentries by our chosen entrance to the town; should I take them out?" Asked Karnel.
"Yes, but be quick we don't have long until dawn" Replied Jericho. Karnel crouched behind a pillar waiting until the guard had passed. There, he threw his knife and it hit the guard at the top of the neck, killing him instantly. Karnel moved towards the corpse, and retrieved his knife, giving him just enough time to take cover as the other guard turned the corner. Seeing the corpse, the other guard rushed forwards to examine the body. Just what Karnel needed, he jumped from the shadows stabbing the guard; twice in the back of the head and once at the bottom of the spine to make sure of a kill.

The squad regrouped by the dead guards, and proceeded into Trelka to find refuge from the Merdians.

It was midday, Jericho had gone to scout out a possible way out of the town; the rest of the squad were holed up in a cellar.

None of the squad knew that they would have a surprise visit, how could they have? Rolenski was caught of guard, he didnt have time to bring up his weapon, before a Las-Snub was jabbed in his face; behind the weapon was a middle aged woman in civilian clothing. In the dim lighting of the cellar Rolenski could make out another 10 or so "Civilians", if that was the right term. "Who are you?" enquired Verinski.
"We are the resistance" Replied the woman, in a low gothic tone with thick consonants. "We saw you enter the city, and followed you to this cellar. We watched your officer leave and decided to make visit to you."
"Erm, where is our officer?" mumbled Olav timidly.
"He here" Said another resistance member, shoving Jericho to the other Guardsmen. "Thanks" Muttered Jericho sarcastically. "You welcome" Replied the resistance member, his tone of voice implied that he had taken Jericho's sarcastic comment seriously. "Why you here Guard?" Asked the woman.
"We're on a special mission, we need to get to Renra" Answered Jericho.
"We come with you, show you way?" asked the woman.
"We could use a guide sir" said Olav.
"Ok then, we leave at night; meet us here when it gets dark" muttered Jericho, walking over to the heat packs, as the resistance left the cellar.

They weren't here, the resistance hadn't showed! "Frak this were are they!" Shouted Jericho.
"Maybe we should leave without them?" Said Verinski.
"Thats probably the best plan, they might have been betrayed or captured" Said Olav unthinkingly.
"Ok then, lets go" Answered Jericho, climbing out of the cellar.

The squad followed Jericho's pre-planned route, however they were not prepared for the disturbing sight that lay ahead. A hundred metres further on they were met with the bodies of...the resistance?
"Looks like Olav was right" Muttered Karnel stepping over the body of the middle aged woman without any outward sign of disgust. Just then Verinski's head exploded. "s*** Ambush get the Frak out of here!" Scream Rolenski running faster than he'd ever dreamed he could towards the nearest gap in the city wall. Olav went down, his leg blown off, nothing I can do to help him now thout Rolenski sprinting through the gap in the wall to relative safety.
Only Rolenski and Jericho had survived, the others were now dead.

I like it so far, 2 comments. Flash is the call and Thunder is the response, you have it the other way around. And you wouldn't stab someone in the back of the head as your knife would stick, you would aim for the neck and then sever the spine at the neck to confirm the kill. As I said i like what you have going on, just my 2 cents.

Thanks, by back of head I meant top of neck or inline with the ears.

3 days after death of Olav, Karnel and Verinski...

Outskirts of Renra.
"Ok we're almost at the Generals quarters, keep it quiet" Whisphered Jericho. Rolenski just nodded, he hadnt spoke much after the massacre. Jericho sighed, he knew Rolenski would never be the same. Pity he thought.Before continuing along the ledge, into a ruined manufactorium overlooking the Generals quarters. The vantage point was musty and stank of dry rot and munitions, the good thing about all of this is the fact it would hide their scent from any dogs.

The two waited for days until the opportunity for the kill appeared.
The General was meant to be going out for his usual visit to the temple to Chaos, however today he decided to just sit out on the terrace, and watch his bodyguard drill. "This is it" Whispered Rolenski to Jericho, grabbing his weapon and concealing it with a peice of piping, Jericho crept along to the next room and also hid his gun. The two waited until the light was dimming, then clipped in a hotshot round.
Rolenski loosened his grip on his weapon, and let the scope fall on the targets head naturally. He pressed the trigger, the round zoomed from the barrel moving towards the targets head; there was a shower of blood and Rolenski thought it was going in slow motion. But as soon as it had started it ended.

Delta 2 section. 0700 hours.

Two weary figures collapsed into a mud-filled trench and lay there, almost motionless until one mumbled "Tell Captain Elliot" he paused for breath "The traitor is dead" Gasped the figure before falling unconscious.







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Epilogue.

The battle for Merdia was soon over, with the enemy's leader dead their army was in a smables; and it was simple for the Imperial forces to eliminate the remaining rebels. The war would have lasted far longer had it not been for the efforts of five troopers.
Corporal. Jericho Surgiev.
Trooper. Rolenski Stanislavski.
Trooper. Olav Petrovsky [KIA]
Trooper. Karnel Ellian [KIA]
Trooper. Verinski Merval [KIA]



Next story coming soon.