Was apparently difficult

to ever stop.

Luckily Slannesh was

feeling rapetastic today

with a dolphin.

This caused strenuous

relationships to spontaneously

heal and mature

into Chaos Spawns.

The spawns rejoiced

as they became

evun moar Orky!

Filled with the

Ultramarine's Meltabombs, Calgar

got clobbered by

extensive plot armour,

and a nasty

Avatar got roflstomped.

Old Lehman Russ

beat up Angron,

with a pointy

hat. Hilarity ensued,

until Draigo used

the last beer

as an ashtray.

This caused drunken

Bar-fights involving Orks

and Zombies! Amazingly,

no chickens were

harmed in this

awe-inspiring confrontation.

Tragically, countless beakies

were lohst. Battul-Brothars!

But all was

stehl raihn, because

defensive drop-pod assaults

are devuhstehting deep-strikes!

Unless they land

in a Toys-R-Us.

When deepstriking mishaps

occur, you can

say, spess mehreens

are poor navigators.

Suddenly, Ultramarines started

Landing everywhere but

papa nurgle puked

onto Calgar, meaning

authors everywhere perished

due to extreme

and utterly terrible

fluff writings. Luckily,

their reanimation rolls

were all 5s

, causing Matteus Wardius

To rise triumphant

, like king potatoes.

But their luck

was becoming rabid

And assaulted Abaddon

with iron spaniels!

while taking a

note of phailure.

Abaddon quickly used

Hot bacon grease

to remove stubborn

smurfs from under

the Emprah's beard.

Soon, the Emprah

grew cannabis in

Ghazghkull's big mouth

, causing much hilarity

after the imperial

drugs bust. Many

herb-tote'n Greenskins

were arrested during

the Phish concert

of 1782. History

never stops trying

to tell us

why Greenskins have

affinity for hallucinogens

and Zero potential

for two word

polysyllabic sentences. Curiously,

their Human counterparts

understand the meaning

of this deficiency

Nowhere else on

Culex IV can

Tau be heard

Except for when

the alarm sounds

with Thu'ums regularly.

If you heard

these Thu'ums, you'd

promptly buy Codices

for Tau and

Eldar, to win

a substancial offering

from the Xenos

, you cowards. Suddenly

A Farseer Appeared

To be troubled

When he found

several soulstones leaping

into my gullet.

"Nom, Nom, Nom",

, said Selym, as

he ate the

Soulstones without ketchup

This tasted horrible

but Selym persevered

And threw Yarrick

across the room

And into some

discarded power klaws.

Yarrick knew that

this amused Selym,

so he quickly

shovelled ice cream

into the furnace

What followed can.

Only be described

as EXBAWKS HUEG

Yet deceptivly simple.

destruction of grimdark

Is simple if

anyone cared enough.

But we don't.

We do like

toast, however. Especially

If it says

"Hello" when toasted.

Suddenly, A giant

wombat waddled into

poor Guardsman Bob

and exploded happily.

This covered everybody

with sticky Goo

that tastes like

creamy muck muck.

But Selym thought

that racial minorities

deserved more dakka,

So he grabbed

an AK-74 and

committed war crimes.

Kittens shot him

and he died.

But before his

racially aggravated assault

(Disclaimer: I'm not like this IRL)

Selym was visited

by a crustacian

named Mr Krabs.

from the paleozoic

Zoo. He said

"Selym, My boy

I need tree-fiddy

before next Friday

,or the landlord

will throw me

into an asylum!"

Selym just laughed

because he didn't

have a reply.

He then proceeded

to twerk enthusiastically

across the street

vigorusly. The police

were not amused

Until he threw

a brick at

Guardsman Bob, who

like a boss,

Charged into combat

while oddly headless.

This caused the

policeman to gesticulate

Until their Doughnuts

flew from their

Sugar coated fingers.

Groinal sockets engaged

, the officers worked

until their bloody

members dropped into

Barksdale's coffee cup.

On the far

side of nowhere

a lone sentry

pondered the mystery

that is spinach.

Why is it

That spinach is

green, leafy and

Easy to grow,

yet so hated

by the children?

He pondered until

a bullet hit

his spinach can

"Dammit Jimmy, I-

Now let's see if we can fit dialog into this thread.

told you to

backflip onto any

stray bullets that

flew my way".


Dialog complete, this has been a test of the Emergency Dialog System. Had this been actual dialog, you may have experienced strange itching, and an urge to eat flesh.

"But you were

too busy firing

towards the ragged

JAYCEES road sign"

exclaimed Dracula, who

was called Jimmy

The spinach was

Leaking from the

Leaking from the

earthbound Deity's face

and dripping dowN

Creeds chin slowly

After tasting some,

Creed decreed that

Spinach tastes like

reverse backflip cheese.

So he ate

M&M's until the

Snow finally stopped

and 'Muricah thawed.

"What you need"

"is more spinach."

said Creed, instructively

, causing Guardsmen to

break out their

cans of spinach

; however, there was

A big kerfuffle

and nobody had

A can opener

instead they used

their filthy Bayonets

skewering jimmy in

The process, while

opening the spinach.

Which flew eveywhere

and covered Creed

In horrible smelling

leafy green Vegetables.

with red spots

Creed decided quickly

to yell loudly

Abaddon heard it

and came calling

'CREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEED"! He screamed.

"Why are you

eating those waffles?!"

"They were my

first true love,

and NOW you"ve

discovered my only

way to remember

eating waffles vigorously.

"
Creed began to

Scream his reply

, "Waffles are heretical!"

But said Abbadon

, "take it back!"

"YOU DIE TODAY"

They all died.

The moral of

this story means

simply, one who

Insists on squatting

will never Find

A clean seat

to utilize for

The process of

piloting a Titan.

Titans are vulnerable

To dirty seats

To dirty seats

So always keep

A box of

Clorox Disinfecting Wipes

To avoid reacting

to Titan loss.

When rearing chickens

One should keep

in mind that

Eggs are the

Beginning of your

Troubles if the

Chickens ever decide

They are hens.

A wise man

does not surf

if the waves

Are upside down

and near Australia.

I'm the best

At flying things

Into the large

Brick wall ahead.

The result was