j/k his followers can't

seem to recall the

severe repercussions of inbreeding

without clearly written instructions.

Speaking of written instructions,

have you seen the

how-to guide for

the "Summoning Demons" kickstarter

produced by the Jesuits?

The add-ons alone

should allow for unprecedented

wait what is happening?

Pink lawn Flamingos sometimes

get stuck in my

dog's mouth when tries

lick old commies butt...

The mailman says that

"If you can't be,

Relied upon to eat

all the beans available

to you, then we

will force feed you

until you can prove

the controversial flatulence theory

championed by Einstein and

Patented by Nikola Tesla.

Maniacal laughter usually generates

the Thought Police's attention

except when the insanity

is part of the

daily routine for my

nude Jedi training program.

I hope Santa brings

Lots of cool toys

and wads of money

to people in need.

The new year is

very similar to the

old one but with

much lower overall temperatures

and greater warp storms

called Bomb Cyclones by

meteorologists that ran out

ways to say "storm".

Speaking of storms, the

eating of baked beans

caused severe gas storms

and a foul inferno

flames engulfed my new...

Camaro with 8-track player.

Would you believe that

She hit me with

A giant fury fish

(double post)

while I was trying

to sing karaoke with

Miss Piggy, Kermit and...

Worf singing Klingon opera?

A camel spider was

taking a dump on...

my new shag carpeting

so, thinking quickly, I

booted the little bastard

out through the torn

screen door into the

arms of a shocked

Gazorpazorpfield who was eating

terrified Games Workshop employees

which ain't so bad.

A new game was

created by ripping off

the heads of chickens

and hiding them in

Swanson Chicken Pot Pies

flash frozen and shipped

to stores near you.

Speaking of nearby stores,

did you hear about

Games Workshop Rio Rancho

and their resident cheerleaders

who got caught while

performing a human pyramid?

They stock a large

Inventory of pointless, expensive

doo-dads, doo-hickeys, thingamabobs and

other essential 40k items

which beckon me to

play Infinity instead of

attend to personal hygiene.

When games are played

against future machine overlords

who constantly cheat at

every strip poker tournament.

Day of the Dead

was not as good

or as rowdy since

it was remade by

the Dwayne Johnson fanclub.

In the 23rd century

with horrible sock puppets.

The new meaning of

"Live and Let Live"

was foretold by ancient

cave dwellers deep in

Bushwick, New York when

times was rough and

convenient stores only served

Beer after 3 pm.

Tequila is best when

mixed into Tequila Sunrise

in a fish bowl

year after year, running

over the same old

four word story game

Until we've found, the

last two foolhardy individuals

who wish they were

getting lobotomies instead of

playing Age of Sigmar.

Bad spelling and cigarettes

is the name of

A new magazine from

Better Homes and Gardens.

When a new idea

gets squashed by pinheads

Who just can’t stand

flat earther memes with

visually disturbing imagery, we

justifiably reach for pie

. To be perfectly honest,

I cannot believe the

nerve of this guy

, to come in here

with all his pontificating

statements and high-handed

assertions that hair metal

should only be played

with coconuts, frisbees and

A little magic dust.

In the beginning we

only had one flavor

of cod liver oil

, but that was back

before the Kardashians became

professional dog food tasters

and emissaries of Satan.

Yesterday, while walking through

Walmart in Jacksonville, Arkansas

some Mountain Dew addicts

Flew down the aisles

chasing puppy monkey babies

and singing the classic

Run Through The Jungle

by Creedence Clearwater Revival.

Don't go out tonight

because werewolves were sighted

down on the corner

where the Nickelback fans

born on the bayou

chasing down the hoodoos

with fire down below.

Trump's cranial merkin roared

to life violently in

The depths of slumber

, a Big Mac coma

was not enough to

subdue his hunger for

little ugly rabbits that

coughed up radioactive hairballs.

A smart man knows

and a dumb man

also knows how far

you can push your

local MTG card players

before being told to

shove your manna up

your big sweaty hairy

Wookie satchel for using

such a silly meme.

Forum Games is my

jam, which I enjoy

while I should be

crunching entities for my

Dark Lord, he is

not a patient entity.

Racism against the dwarves

is a short subject

that we dwell on

Very, very, very carefully

Due to the fact

that dwarves make the

biggest fuss about knowing

How to brew BEER.

To brew this beer

distill mad cap mushrooms

in clear mountain water

and enrich with bear

scrotum shavings marinated in

Sweet Baby Ray's Spicy

And Chunky Embalming Fluid.

Now, for potent beer,

brewed deep in the

warrens of Long Beach

You should drop Gretchin

into the vat without

making a big mess

and stir frequently until

She stops trying to

regurgitate Orc fecal matter

which tastes, strangely enough,

Like a Big Mac

without the sesame seeds.

On warm spring days

I stay indoors to

Sometimes sunscreen fails you.

One story, four words?

So for this reason

one can only conclude

that four words are

not enough to convey

The true meaning of

the heartbreak of psoriasis.

But in another country,

One should not throw

people out the window

offal at municipal police

offal at municipal police

thin sliced pickles at

thinly sliced pickles at

thinly sliced pickles at

Thinly sliced pickles at

Thinly sliced pickles at

half eaten pickles and

half eaten pickles and

small yapping little dogs

Are quite annoying to

the average person seeking

A chance to make

wicker baskets for the

Upcoming guillotine revival party.

After reading this I

noticed reality was becoming

a terrible place to

pursue dungeon quests and

snuff out beasts that

ate happy little elves

when they've double parked.

Historical wargamers' hygiene is

somewhere between sewage and

the bottom of the

grease trap at Arby's

in downtown south Detroit.

Consider the 40k FAQ,

which will answer all

questions about their worst

devious money-grabbing scheme

after breaking for tea.

Will it ever be

known that Trump's comb-over

sleeps in a different

reality? I think not.

Maybe it will devour

the white house staff

starting with Mike Pence

preferably dickbag Scott Pruitt

, not excluding Sarah Sanders

or the rose garden.

While playing Squad Leader

with untested green conscripts

go ahead and cheat

by using bananas and

the Force's dark side

to rack up kills.

Abe Vigoda once said

"Suck it, Barney", but

what he really meant

was so sinister that

Dietrich started hemorrhaging

tears of pure terror

which he baths in

while Wojo summons the

Dragon spirit in Nick.

A Tibetan Dragon said

"I like turtles" and

began the llamapocalypes which

was mildly entertaining but

caused incredibly violent flatulence

which lasteed for years.

Madonna, Bono and Cher

Walk into a desert

and die, the end.

That was a pretty

gruesome tale of heroic

endeavors gone horribly awry.

If we only knew

the secret to perfect

Blood Angel red, we'd

rampage through the nearest

art supply store, looking

to buy large quantities

of X-Wing 2.0 colors