43578
Post by: A Town Called Malus
and Oveur was under
91468
Post by: War Kitten
The house that I
10104
Post by: snurl
could've sworn wasn't there
91468
Post by: War Kitten
A few minutes ago
53636
Post by: Chaos Legionnaire
.
It was constructed from
10104
Post by: snurl
the bones of children
91468
Post by: War Kitten
And of my foes
53636
Post by: Chaos Legionnaire
who were also children.
91468
Post by: War Kitten
It is quite unfortunate
10104
Post by: snurl
but oh, so affordable.
53636
Post by: Chaos Legionnaire
That is, of course,
91468
Post by: War Kitten
If you are willing
53636
Post by: Chaos Legionnaire
to tolerate the incessant
10104
Post by: snurl
scratching noises inside walls
53636
Post by: Chaos Legionnaire
along with the smell
105620
Post by: gnome_idea_what
of off-brand petrol
91468
Post by: War Kitten
Inside your bedroom, but
10104
Post by: snurl
the location is perfect
53636
Post by: Chaos Legionnaire
and close to schools.
78313
Post by: BigWaaagh
Maggots eat dead flesh
10104
Post by: snurl
nightly in the foyer
91468
Post by: War Kitten
They leave a terrible
53636
Post by: Chaos Legionnaire
first impression with guests
78313
Post by: BigWaaagh
, but groom the zombies
10104
Post by: snurl
in their spacious vestibule.
91468
Post by: War Kitten
And things might change
53636
Post by: Chaos Legionnaire
if only there were
78313
Post by: BigWaaagh
more War Kitten avatars
10104
Post by: snurl
available for public use.
53636
Post by: Chaos Legionnaire
I find it amusing
113534
Post by: teknoskan
That we are all
10104
Post by: snurl
still trying to play
53636
Post by: Chaos Legionnaire
with toy soldiers while
10104
Post by: snurl
planning our imminent retirement.
53636
Post by: Chaos Legionnaire
I hope they have
112899
Post by: Lupus Mortem
accepted the grim fact
53636
Post by: Chaos Legionnaire
that strategic tabletop miniatures
10104
Post by: snurl
require pizza and beer
53636
Post by: Chaos Legionnaire
in order to experience
112899
Post by: Lupus Mortem
greasy fingers and belching.
10104
Post by: snurl
While having a go
112899
Post by: Lupus Mortem
at octogenarian naked Twister
53636
Post by: Chaos Legionnaire
I accidentally pulled my
10104
Post by: snurl
self out of bed
53636
Post by: Chaos Legionnaire
and fell on my
10104
Post by: snurl
sister, while she was
112899
Post by: Lupus Mortem
performing a Satanic ritual
10104
Post by: snurl
for her science homework.
112899
Post by: Lupus Mortem
Meanwhile, Abe Vigoda's ghost
53636
Post by: Chaos Legionnaire
Made an unexpected appearance
112899
Post by: Lupus Mortem
at Gencon to play
53636
Post by: Chaos Legionnaire
the Call of Cthulhu
112899
Post by: Lupus Mortem
and Advanced Squad Leader
78313
Post by: BigWaaagh
but sucked at both.
112899
Post by: Lupus Mortem
Internet addiction is real
43578
Post by: A Town Called Malus
and I have it.
10104
Post by: snurl
But don't tell anyone.
53636
Post by: Chaos Legionnaire
It's not so bad.
10104
Post by: snurl
In fact, it can
112899
Post by: Lupus Mortem
help you spend money
53636
Post by: Chaos Legionnaire
in ways you wouldn't
10104
Post by: snurl
have deemed possible, even
53636
Post by: Chaos Legionnaire
though you'd never admit
112899
Post by: Lupus Mortem
to buying inflatable spiked
10104
Post by: snurl
pajamas on Amazon Prime.
112899
Post by: Lupus Mortem
Pajamas, when used improperly
53636
Post by: Chaos Legionnaire
can result in embarrassing
10104
Post by: snurl
situations while one is
53636
Post by: Chaos Legionnaire
shopping at Wal Mart.
10104
Post by: snurl
If you knew beforehand
112899
Post by: Lupus Mortem
that you would spend
53636
Post by: Chaos Legionnaire
so much time on
10104
Post by: snurl
various thinly veiled plots
53636
Post by: Chaos Legionnaire
regarding GW's business practices
10104
Post by: snurl
would you still be
112899
Post by: Lupus Mortem
hemorrhaging hard earned money
53636
Post by: Chaos Legionnaire
to bolster your legions?
10104
Post by: snurl
The answer lies within
112899
Post by: Lupus Mortem
Games Workshop's secret weapon
10104
Post by: snurl
marketing laboratory, where diabolical
53636
Post by: Chaos Legionnaire
little elves are chained
10104
Post by: snurl
in the cheese pits
112899
Post by: Lupus Mortem
of forge world Cheddar
53636
Post by: Chaos Legionnaire
and mercilessly driven to
112899
Post by: Lupus Mortem
cook and wait tables.
10104
Post by: snurl
You might say it's
112899
Post by: Lupus Mortem
unfair when mom transforms
53636
Post by: Chaos Legionnaire
your 'man cave' into
112899
Post by: Lupus Mortem
her boyfriend's "man cave"
53636
Post by: Chaos Legionnaire
and tells you to
10104
Post by: snurl
get the feth out
112899
Post by: Lupus Mortem
and make some sandwiches.
53636
Post by: Chaos Legionnaire
When I think about
10104
Post by: snurl
that girl who has
112899
Post by: Lupus Mortem
machetes in her car
53636
Post by: Chaos Legionnaire
I am tempted to
112899
Post by: Lupus Mortem
use my powers of
10104
Post by: snurl
persuasion to get her
112899
Post by: Lupus Mortem
dance naked at the
53636
Post by: Chaos Legionnaire
friendly local gaming store.
10104
Post by: snurl
She just may because
53636
Post by: Chaos Legionnaire
when she sees my
10104
Post by: snurl
fistfull of shiny dice
75727
Post by: sing your life
She will offer a
112899
Post by: Lupus Mortem
dance if you roll
78313
Post by: BigWaaagh
on the floor like
10104
Post by: snurl
a true power gamer.
112899
Post by: Lupus Mortem
Buying loaded dice is
53636
Post by: Chaos Legionnaire
an easy way to
112899
Post by: Lupus Mortem
beat Gods Of Luck
53636
Post by: Chaos Legionnaire
but you might also
10104
Post by: snurl
get beaten up too.
53636
Post by: Chaos Legionnaire
I once saw a
112899
Post by: Lupus Mortem
real life demon appear
78313
Post by: BigWaaagh
after drinking an entire
53636
Post by: Chaos Legionnaire
carafe of mineral spirits.
112899
Post by: Lupus Mortem
Snurl is under investigation
53636
Post by: Chaos Legionnaire
by ancient astronaut theorists
78313
Post by: BigWaaagh
for drawing Nazca lines
112899
Post by: Lupus Mortem
at the tattoo parlor
10104
Post by: snurl
In phosphorescent ink colors.
78313
Post by: BigWaaagh
They formed the shape
53636
Post by: Chaos Legionnaire
of a large hummingbird
10104
Post by: snurl
on a Harley Davidson
78313
Post by: BigWaaagh
riding down the highway
10104
Post by: snurl
on a summer's day.
112899
Post by: Lupus Mortem
Meanwhile, back at the
10104
Post by: snurl
Friendly Local Games Store
78313
Post by: BigWaaagh
unwashed gamers continue their
91128
Post by: Xenomancers
struggle for galactic domination
10104
Post by: snurl
while secretly hoping to
53636
Post by: Chaos Legionnaire
attract the attention of
112899
Post by: Lupus Mortem
girls that bathe regularly
53636
Post by: Chaos Legionnaire
however unlikely that seems.
10104
Post by: snurl
You can almost feel
53636
Post by: Chaos Legionnaire
sorry for power gamers
112899
Post by: Lupus Mortem
and their Guard conscripts
10104
Post by: snurl
, but that would be
53636
Post by: Chaos Legionnaire
not as much fun
112899
Post by: Lupus Mortem
as tormenting them while
10104
Post by: snurl
spamming them with your
53636
Post by: Chaos Legionnaire
CRASSUS ARMORED ASSAULT TRANSPORTS!!!!!
112899
Post by: Lupus Mortem
Meanwhile, Tony Soprano killed
78313
Post by: BigWaaagh
off another 12" hoagie
10104
Post by: snurl
on his way to
78313
Post by: BigWaaagh
another Weight Watchers meeting.
53636
Post by: Chaos Legionnaire
Hoagies are delicious, but
112899
Post by: Lupus Mortem
are deadly poison to
10104
Post by: snurl
vegans and other undesirable
53636
Post by: Chaos Legionnaire
kale smoothie drinking misfits.
112899
Post by: Lupus Mortem
Hipster girls are happily
108023
Post by: Marmatag
taking selfie after selfie,
10104
Post by: snurl
and instagamming them to
112899
Post by: Lupus Mortem
old pervs like me
53636
Post by: Chaos Legionnaire
. A long time ago
78313
Post by: BigWaaagh
when dinosaurs happily ate
10104
Post by: snurl
whatever they damn pleased,
112899
Post by: Lupus Mortem
Earth shaking flatulence was
53636
Post by: Chaos Legionnaire
unleashed upon the ozone
10104
Post by: snurl
with very disasterous results.
112899
Post by: Lupus Mortem
The Fremen inhabited Arrakis
78313
Post by: BigWaaagh
and opened a 'Sandals'
53636
Post by: Chaos Legionnaire
all-inclusive desert resort.
10104
Post by: snurl
They held an awesome
112899
Post by: Lupus Mortem
REO Speedwagon benefit concert
10104
Post by: snurl
Featuring Gary Rickrath's ghost
78313
Post by: BigWaaagh
whose guitar skills still
10104
Post by: snurl
make it look easy
112899
Post by: Lupus Mortem
. Ghosts are real if
78313
Post by: BigWaaagh
Honey Badgers don't care.
53636
Post by: Chaos Legionnaire
But, since they do,
10104
Post by: snurl
be on your guard
78313
Post by: BigWaaagh
with Honey Badger skepticism
10104
Post by: snurl
when things go "bump"
78313
Post by: BigWaaagh
and "schwing" in the
10104
Post by: snurl
darkest corners of your
53636
Post by: Chaos Legionnaire
guest bathroom.
Hurricane Irma
78313
Post by: BigWaaagh
was in my bathroom
10104
Post by: snurl
and blew it into
112899
Post by: Lupus Mortem
Ann Coulter's Adam's apple
53636
Post by: Chaos Legionnaire
which disrupted the eyewall
78313
Post by: BigWaaagh
and her inane prattle.
10104
Post by: snurl
In a hurricane event
112899
Post by: Lupus Mortem
underwear should be secured
10104
Post by: snurl
in water tight plastic
53636
Post by: Chaos Legionnaire
baggies along with your
78313
Post by: BigWaaagh
fully painted collection of
10104
Post by: snurl
fake hundred dollar bills.
78313
Post by: BigWaaagh
'Django Unchained' created a
53636
Post by: Chaos Legionnaire
tremendous uproar among the
10104
Post by: snurl
alien abduction survivors community
78313
Post by: BigWaaagh
when Leonardo DiCaprio's character
10104
Post by: snurl
revealed his true identity
78313
Post by: BigWaaagh
as an intergalactic overlord
10104
Post by: snurl
who stopped for cigarettes
78313
Post by: BigWaaagh
and antebellum probing victims
10104
Post by: snurl
on his way to
78313
Post by: BigWaaagh
an intergalactic kegger hosted
10104
Post by: snurl
by the Slann club
78313
Post by: BigWaaagh
who are renowned for
10104
Post by: snurl
awesome lounge lizard parties.
78313
Post by: BigWaaagh
French fries are always
10104
Post by: snurl
ready to be consumed
78313
Post by: BigWaaagh
in Poutine, with chili,
10104
Post by: snurl
and some melted cheese.
53636
Post by: Chaos Legionnaire
If you choose to
10104
Post by: snurl
go down to the
78313
Post by: BigWaaagh
local neighborhood Sushi bar,
105620
Post by: gnome_idea_what
Be wary of the
10104
Post by: snurl
big "Free Candy" sign
78313
Post by: BigWaaagh
next to the Edamame.
10104
Post by: snurl
These kids today don't
53636
Post by: Chaos Legionnaire
know a thing about
78313
Post by: BigWaaagh
multiple appendage amputation procedures
10104
Post by: snurl
; all they wanna do
53636
Post by: Chaos Legionnaire
is play with their
10104
Post by: snurl
fancy new cybernetic implants
78313
Post by: BigWaaagh
and drink organic Kambucha.
10104
Post by: snurl
BigWaaagh has been known
78313
Post by: BigWaaagh
throw epic hill parties
10104
Post by: snurl
whenever he gets the
78313
Post by: BigWaaagh
need to spread the
10104
Post by: snurl
good cheer all around.
78313
Post by: BigWaaagh
Speaking of good cheer,
10104
Post by: snurl
what would you think
78313
Post by: BigWaaagh
of having Bananas Foster
10104
Post by: snurl
after work some morning
78313
Post by: BigWaaagh
when your sweet tooth
10104
Post by: snurl
has a bad abcess
78313
Post by: BigWaaagh
but you just can't
112899
Post by: Lupus Mortem
resist your sugar addiction?
10104
Post by: snurl
I believe that would
112899
Post by: Lupus Mortem
label you as a
10104
Post by: snurl
Toothache-Denial-Food Freak
112899
Post by: Lupus Mortem
with nasty orc teeth
10104
Post by: snurl
and breath to match.
78313
Post by: BigWaaagh
Orc breath is fine
10104
Post by: snurl
If you're an orc.
78313
Post by: BigWaaagh
And let's face it,
112899
Post by: Lupus Mortem
peanut butter and chocolate
78313
Post by: BigWaaagh
closely resembles Orc breath
112899
Post by: Lupus Mortem
but is mighty tasty.
78313
Post by: BigWaaagh
Many times I've tried
10104
Post by: snurl
to create life from
78313
Post by: BigWaaagh
my belly button lint
10104
Post by: snurl
, but it seems to
112899
Post by: Lupus Mortem
mutate and develop powers
78313
Post by: BigWaaagh
which become frighteningly omnipotent
105620
Post by: gnome_idea_what
And create pocket universes
78313
Post by: BigWaaagh
where Orcs are geniuses
112899
Post by: Lupus Mortem
and the band Sweet
78313
Post by: BigWaaagh
is just like Oxygen,
112899
Post by: Lupus Mortem
you get too much
78313
Post by: BigWaaagh
you get too high,
112899
Post by: Lupus Mortem
not enough and you're
78313
Post by: BigWaaagh
gonna die. Love gets
112899
Post by: Lupus Mortem
you high. The 1970s
10104
Post by: snurl
were the best time
78313
Post by: BigWaaagh
for men's fashion options
112899
Post by: Lupus Mortem
and innovations in polyester
10104
Post by: snurl
Because life's been good
78313
Post by: BigWaaagh
to me so far.
112899
Post by: Lupus Mortem
When Sigmar Heldenhammer farts
78313
Post by: BigWaaagh
you can hear the
10104
Post by: snurl
Orcs cry in terror
78313
Post by: BigWaaagh
mockingly, then laugh uncontrollably
112899
Post by: Lupus Mortem
at their own farts
10104
Post by: snurl
, mildly fragrant by comparison.
78313
Post by: BigWaaagh
Lando Calrissian was a
112899
Post by: Lupus Mortem
card in Decipher's game
10104
Post by: snurl
which would allow the
112899
Post by: Lupus Mortem
Colt 45 to flow
78313
Post by: BigWaaagh
as it rightfully should. 
10104
Post by: snurl
A turkey dinner will
112899
Post by: Lupus Mortem
make you very sleepy
10104
Post by: snurl
but if you doze
112899
Post by: Lupus Mortem
close to Uncle Pervy
10104
Post by: snurl
You may get a
112899
Post by: Lupus Mortem
very lucrative future lawsuit
10104
Post by: snurl
in about thirty years.
112899
Post by: Lupus Mortem
If you cyberbully yourself
78313
Post by: BigWaaagh
instead of cyberbullying grandma,
10104
Post by: snurl
don't be surprised when
112899
Post by: Lupus Mortem
the senior citizens' dojo
78313
Post by: BigWaaagh
opens some whoop ass
10104
Post by: snurl
out of sheer contempt.
112899
Post by: Lupus Mortem
The Toxic Avenger and
10104
Post by: snurl
his list of names
78313
Post by: BigWaaagh
were published on WikiLeaks
112899
Post by: Lupus Mortem
in original Cyrillic script
78313
Post by: BigWaaagh
because nobody thought of
10104
Post by: snurl
something better to do.
112899
Post by: Lupus Mortem
People who collect cats
78313
Post by: BigWaaagh
stuffed with styrofoam and
10104
Post by: snurl
nailed to the wall
112899
Post by: Lupus Mortem
have many sister wives
78313
Post by: BigWaaagh
and like Roy Moore.
112899
Post by: Lupus Mortem
Speaking of Alabama's feces
10104
Post by: snurl
, I just stumbled onto
78313
Post by: BigWaaagh
Roy Moore's campaign website
|
