ExNoctemNacimur wrote:
It devours everyone in the city save a noble fat turd on a sofa eating fries and watching Star Trek Enterprise and his wife. They manage to kill the beast by jabbing it with a plastic light saber

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO BOB!!!!! YOU MURDERED HIM!

Unfortunately for the fat turd "Bob" lay eggs - 20,000 of them

(happier?)

An average middle age man prays to the Norse Gods, the gods protect the city and remove anything that will destroy the new city. They also revive the economy and industry in the town.

The people get boring to the gods though and soon Thor rides across the plains to strike the city down

A Giant Rok falls on the town. The town is smashed. But so are the Orks inside the Rok their spores shed and reproduce now it is a Ork town.


New Twist?
Possibly mabeye lets see where this goes

Another Rok falls form the sky, the size of the planet's moon. It obliterates all life on the now sterile world. The strange crystals remain and turn the new world into a barren wasteland.

Orks spores still alive more Orks

All Orks and their spores disappear.

The Orks seem to have left to explore their own thread.
In commeration, a tree is planted in the center of the ruins.

A modest tree-house is constructed...upside-down. The builder is a dyslexic with vertigo

A Snotling walks up and says high neighbors im building mek town check it out

The snotling is then run down by heavy earth moving equipment.

and leaves behind another tiny spore

Which spawns a mushroom in mek town

The city prepares itself for the 21st.

A butcher arrives.

I arrive with my fleet and take control of the town in the name of the Emperor.

I build a imperial guard barracks and mess hall to accommodate the 597th Vahallan armored fists

Those named "I" are forever banished from the city walls by a temporal spell that lays low their creations in a massive warpstorm.

Good dice rolls means my fleet comes back in a few days.

Which promptly gets destroyed due to a pod of void whales.

Chaos gains a major foothold in the city.

Ironically, we were saved by Eldar Corsairs since their prince owed me a favor.

Ichigo Kurosaki beats them all single-handedly and decides to stay.

Kenpachi Zaraki chases after him.

Someone becomes smart enough to rebuild a food-supplier already. Jeez. Apple orchards and grox farms, yay.

Someone bans all form of non city building activities, hereby condemning himself too.

the dutch return in force.

Huzzah! Dutch parties are being held. the city starts exporting cheese.

The British arrive with their entire army to conquer the dutch but then remember they reduced the army to a single platoon of the princess of Wales royal regiment for some stupid economical reason. A short battle ensues but then the two factions say sod it and hold a truce to continue the construction of the city. A town hall is created and Cpl. Lonnon is elected mayor.

Windmills spring up everywhere.

Tulip gardens arrive en masse.

The wind blows the wrong direction and the town breaks from the mainland

Tullips are exported.

Mammoth Dykes come to town.

The Emperor makes a visit.

He leaves having bought 3 windmills, 200 tullips, a dike and a ship used to make rivers deeper for harbors.

A British pub is opened called the queens grot.

Roboutte Guilliman pays a visit.

Bridges are built everywhere.

Roboutte Gulliman falls down the stairs from a cleverly placed banana peel from his brother Conrad Kruze. Roboutte Gulliman is now in extensive care while he is in a coma, with all broken limbs and he is also missing his car keys

Life support is banned.

German tourists arrive in droves.

Robute Gulliman dies after Life support is illegalized. Magnus the Red returns and abandons his addiction mostly inpart to his brothers death and becomes an advocate for against magic use and strongly leads an anti-sorcery campaign. All his sons follow suit... Advocating in schools and stadiums, the anti-sorcery campaign is highly successful....

The German tourists take lots of photos of all the Dutch bridges and dykes, then leave.

Petrabuo opens up a Small business that becomes a corporation. Sadly his company is bought out by Valve, no one knows where these mysterious men come from or who Gabe is.

Satan comes in all his might.

The Army of Heaven descends and delivers divine retribution, leaving nothing behind but white ash.

And the city full of bridges and Dutch dikes.

Magnus the Red sits down on a sofa.

is eye gets pricked out by an Angry Bird

I go on a date with my girlfriend.

Leman Russ runs in screaming DIEDIEDIE kills everything from the last three posts and says let the building commence.

A Lawn Shed is constructed. Its roof is made from flattened beer cans.

Leman Russ is now on the loose looking for the person that stole all of his beer cans that were once his own for his flattened beer can collection. Law enforcement of the Space Wolves join him in his quest, calling it the Hunt of Kegs.

I go Bankai on some drunken loser who tried to hit on my girlfriend...and end up leveling a third of the town.

 Admiral Valerian wrote:
I go Bankai on some drunken loser who tried to hit on my girlfriend...and end up leveling a third of the town.

A Mr. Valerian is arrested along with his girlfriend, they are exiled to New Zealand.

 Asherian Command wrote:

 Admiral Valerian wrote:
I go Bankai on some drunken loser who tried to hit on my girlfriend...and end up leveling a third of the town.

A Mr. Valerian is arrested along with his girlfriend, they are exiled to New Zealand.

We return thanks to a general amnesty.

General Amnesty is sacked. General Grog takes command.

Millions are hung in the next two weeks. Meanwhile a florists is constructed.

German paratroops land on and around all of the bridges while a thundering rumble is heard to the east. They are not taking pictures this time and dont seem too touristy.

Soviet paratroopers defeat the German paratroopers.

Hundreds of panzers roll through town, stopping only to laugh at retreating russians.

T34s counterattack and chase the whimpering panzermen out of Amsterdam.

The Yamato levels the whole place with a bombardment from the sea.

Planes from the Yorktown and the Hornet make short work of the Yamato.

As a result, the security deposit is lost, and a price is placed on the heads of the captains of the Hornet and the Yorktown (the Yamato was on rent) by the one who rented the Yamato.

Superman arrives after being corrupted by Slannesh and starts terrorising everyone.

A suspiciously glowing obelisk of green rock is placed in the town square.

A fish named Jerry eats the suspicious green rock and is petrified, becoming a local landmark.

Skaven fishermen are seen offshore.

Skaven Clan Eshin track the person that hired the Yamato and kill him.
They then proceed to go fishing.

An extermination campaign against the Skaven is launched by the Space Wolves.

WHo promptly drink themselves to death. A giant statue of Leman Russ is erected in their honour.

A giant walking turd, larger than the Burj Khalifa, settles in the city and promptly stinks the whole place out.

The Legion of the Damned arrive and burn the whole place down because the stench was so bad.

Little turdlings still exist in the nether-regions of the charred wreckage of the city.

The Tech Priests erect a giant Sewagus Eliminatorium and soon the province is fresh and clean again.

Commemorative coins are forged to honor the event.

Use of the commemerative coin gets people banned from McDonalds.

The McDonalds head chef dies

The McDonalds chef is cut up and ground down to hamburger, and used in his own meals....

That is fething disgusting.

But anyway . . .
The diners at the "restaurant" die of food poisoning. Apparently the chef was a secret turdling that had survived, and as a result McDonalds get their asses sued.

Ha Ha laughed the Burger King.

The Adeptus Arbites issue stern food safety regulations, which are strictly enforced, leading to several violators getting publicly executed by Imperial Guard firing squads.

This causes a wave of corruption as restaurant owners attempt to cause violations at their competitors establishments in hopes of their removal.

An Imperial Guard firing squad execute a restaurant owner. When they raid his house, they find an underground chamber. There's oil in the city! Soon the US army carpet bombs the city.

A tree is planted.

Hydra AA-vehicles deploy and shoot down the carpet bombers after which the Imperial Navy establishes strict control over the city's airspace.

The Hydra vehicles run over the tree.

THe tree plots his revenge. Ents march upon the town.

The ents break the remaining dykes and flood the whole area.
Skaven fishing boats are unaffected.

They take the hobbits to Isenguard.

They never make it due to being eaten by hungry orcs.

The orcs are killed by the Orks.

Who abruptly get infiltrated by Alpharius in a Baneblade.

A hotdog stand is build.

A Falcon drives by, and the Eldar crew buys what they consider a Human novelty food.

Alpharius infiltrates them as well. In a gargant.

The Witch King of Angmar resurrects all the dead so far,resurrects them with Necromancy and kills everything. Everything is now undead.

Alpharius infiltrates the zombies in a Void Spinner.

The Void Spinner infiltrates (with help from a certain Tactical Genius) the source of the zombie virus now spreading, the Kentucky Fried Chicken.

Alpharius gives it to Mortarion for Mortarion's birthday. The virus stops spreading and people are cured. The building continues.

A night is set aside at years end for the annual drunken orgy.

A sky scraper is constructed. It is 50% Brothel 50% Residential home for the elderly.

The ruins of the old tower of Dol Amroth are re-occupied.

TV studio is created.

Recording studio built next door.

The largest gallows ever seen is built.

Doughnut shop is added next.

Obesity levels rocket up

A Gym opens.

It gets stomped/overrun/taken over by a mob of sweaty Orks.

Another gym, for orks only opens. Orks become forcibly segregated from the rest of the town.

A tree house is built, a no girls allowed sign is put in front. Its members include all the primarchs except corax and fulgrim.

Perturabo, bored out of his skull, decides to lay siege to and burn down the tree house getting angron and leman russ to join him promising that it'd be a great fight and that they'll hit the bar afterwards, drinks on him. The siege successful (much to Dorn's chagrin), the trio get hammered and proceed to lay waste to the city until they pass out dead drunk after having consumed every last alcoholic beverage in the city.

While they're sleeping, Corax and Alpharius Omegon paint their faces funny.

a music store is built

The Tower of Heaven is constructed.

A McDonalds opens. The strangest people keep going in there.

The Orks, sick of segregation, boycott Imperial goods. One Ork "woman" refuses to get off of her seat on the grav-transport.

A Games Workshop opens and demands outrageous prices for their products.

The financial crisis is solved.

Gazghull thraka (probably isn't spelt right) gives his 'I has a dream' speech. The segregation ends.

His popularity among the lower classes rises.

Varg Vikernes pops out from his home in the surrounding forests and kills Ghazghull Thraka, citing the European cause and claiming he did it in self defence. He stabs Thraka 44 times. It wasn't pretty.

As a result of Thraka's martyrdom, a new government sets into motion a series of policies based on the ideals of his 'I has a dream' speech.

Russ has a dream too. No Orks are in it.

Mitt Romney appears and ships all the jobs offshore.

Nestle sets up a corporate base there and proceeds to hire all the orks to work in some hostile jungle in some far off land for minimal (cough cough *No* cough cough) wages.

Mitt Romney is slain in a duel against his nemisis the Warmaster.... Barracus Obamus

A Casino opens.

The Casinos makes a campaign for children to gamble. Children are now seen flocking the casino spending their pocket money on Blackjack.

Mice run rampant through the streets.

Cats breed as a result of the mouse overpopulation.

All gw stores are burnt down for their outrageous costs. They are all burned down by the man known simply as Alpharius.

Red Shirts a like find Alpharius and behead him for his crimes against GW. A Red Shirt rebuilds GW but with more suitable prices.

It turns out they killed an ork instead of Alpharius. Rioting insues.

The Redshirt gets a free eye examination.

A monkey sanctuary is opened.

A top selling cookbook is released it includes many recipes with mice and cats in it.

The city is invaded by bikers.

Redshirts start to try and fight off the bikers.

The bikers set up a gun store and try to start a revolution.

Treason and heresy. The Inquisition puts all such impudent fools to the sword.

Angry Birds invade the monkey sanctuary.

The monkeys invent chainsaws and genocide ensues.

Exterminatus.

Foreclosure sales.

The Tower of Heaven is rebuilt.

Some maintenance workers while in the basement of the Tower of Heaven discover that the Pit of Hell has been mysteriously dug out directly below the Tower of Heaven

The Tower of Heaven goes into lockdown, as the workers have accidentally damaged the seal at its foundations.

Google makes an offer to buy the Tower of Heaven and improve it.

But first they have to sign a waiver that they assume any and all consequences of messing around with its structure.

A jaffa factory is built.

A Bowling Alley is built.

The Tower of Heavens gets corrupted into the grand spire that is home to the Council of the Dreaded Thirteen. Rickety slave barges are seen in the waters near the city.

The spire explodes suddenly after three barges hit by accident.

The horrors from within the pit of hell spill forth.

And all Die unexpectedly. Those that survive now have a band called the Dreaded Thirteenths a heavy metal band now touring the city. They seek vengeance through music....

and get stomped into oblivion by Hollywood Undead

Who are all under control of the Horned Rat.

The bowling alley is bought by the Von Carsteins.

An Imperial Fleet arrives and bombs the whole place before dropping off several Guard Regiments.

Who go bowling.

With Rockstars.

Under the gaze of ye Horned Rat

Draigo arrives, kills the Horned Rat, then heads back into the Warp.

Clan Eshin is blamed.

Bob the Almighty Builder rebuilds much of the city within seconds of his arrival. It is praised as a miracle. he mysteriously disappears as soon as he arrives.

Unfortunately Bob used the Finecast City rebuilding kit which melted once the sun came out. The noxious fumes kills half the population. The survivors demand a refund!

No refunds were provided. The city devolves into a civil war.

The civil war lasts twelve days when Bob suddenly returns to retrieve his missing pigmy flange. Seeing the local's distress he scoops up the huge pile of melted resin and exchanges it for it's styrene equivalent saving the town and restoring order.

Bob is again praised as their Savior. The City council builds a statue of him, but accidentally built it from Finecast Resin which melted once the sun came out. The noxious fumes kills half the population again...

GW opens a store.

It is immediately closed down. And GW is banned from entering the city. Hundreds of stores belonging to GW are gone. GW declares war upon the city due to their banning.

Armies of melting finecast soldiers are sent.

The Mighty Jackals come in and slaughter the finecast soldiers. Lead by Alpha 124, he soon takes the fight to the GW headquarters in a valiant battle, that destroy's GW's production center. He lost his life. Thus Becoming a legend. (http://www.dakkadakka.com/dakkaforum/posts/list/487561.page#5058143)

The Tyrant opens a dung farm, fulfilling his life long dream.

Dung Beetles become supersized and are now popular domestic pets/ beasts (bugs) of labor.

A Dung farm is formed by the Emperor's Children. They supply the beetles with more than enough dung. With the success of the farm the EC open up a music store...

Privateer Press sets up stores in the city.

They get nuked

Warlord Games rebuilds the stores.

Radioactive dung beatles are the store's first customers.

The Massive GW war begins to esclate further. Australia has already called for immediate action. The city withdraws its Jackal Units and Space Marines.

Australia soon realizes the toilets are flushing the opposite direction and blames social media. The GW store is picked up by the radioactive dung beetles and hurled into the Music store.

SKAVEN BOIL UP FROM THE DEPTHS OF THE LUU

And are torn apart by claymore mines.

Clan Mors is blamed.

The sewers are collapsed by a cleanup crew for remodelling.

Ninja Turtles hunt down the Skaven.

Creed infiltrates a Baneblade to destroy the survivors.

The Survivors Strike Back!
After luring the baneblade into a pit trap, Creed is pummeled with ninja weapons until he is part of the environment. Then the Turtles go in search of a pizza shop.

A virus is placed within the pizza, all of the turtles die immediately.

The Arbites set up an operations tower and place surveillance devices on every street. They also begin to make regular patrols, put up Imperial banners and holo-screens displaying "The Emperor Protects" and speakers to play patriotic music and pro-Imperial slogans.

Splinter burns down the Pizza shop.

The Arbites arrest, try, and flog him for arson.

A weapons manufacturer begins arming arbites with more effective ways of bringing people alive for torturing. Shockwave taser systems etc..

The Mafia break in and steal all the weapons from the factory.

The stolen weapons were actually tagged by the Arbites, allowing them to track down and crush the Mafia, all of whose ranking members are shot, while their goons are sent to Penal Legions.

The Arbites are corrupted by Slanesh and the female population are rounded up for "pleasure activities". Anyone against these actions get sent to the Penal Legions.

The whole city and the corrupted Arbites are destroyed by volleys of Lance fire from an Imperial Fleet in orbit.

Ben and Jerry's opens an Ice Cream store.

The Emperor dies, thus leaving all Imperial forces stranded in the city.

The icecream store makes immense profits.

The Emperor comes back to life, so the fleet moves to join the new Expeditionary Forces being assembled above Terra.

Tyranids eat Terra and everything on it, leaving the city alone with no help from anyone or anything except what's already there

A Krieg dating service site pops up.

It gets filled with Tau Spam bots.

A Pep Boys store opens.

The Tau puts viruses on all tv, computers, ibooks, phones and radios to put out Tau Spam.

Tyranids eat Terra and everything on it, leaving the city alone with no help from anyone or anything except what's already there

Then the tyranid hive tyrant wakes up from his dream And sees the Alpha Hive Tyrants waiting for his death sentence.

Alpharius eats an ice cream. But was it really Alpharius?

No, it was . . .

Sicarius!

Sicarius ate the ice cream then realized it's not VANILLA! He is deeply disappointed in himself and carves the aquila on his chest.

A movie theatre opens.

People pack the insides of every theater to watch Creed play with Baneblades.

Sicarius aquila is kidnapped from his chest.
All Baneblades disappear too.

An investigation is begun, no stone is left unturned.

The results are sealed away by order of the Inquisition.

The Inquisition set up a secret organisation known as the Free Inquisitors.

But they were so secret not even the inquisitors knew who they were. This proved problematic.

Trolls invade the city.
The ghost busters are called upon.
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They weren't enough. Trolls patrol the streets for victims.

Before Egon's demise he constructed the Troll-smasher 9000. It was powerful enough to obliterate the trolls, as well as a third of the city's population. A single tear rolls down Sicarius' leathery cheek.

More trolls come to the funerals.

The Banhammer comes and smashes them all.

An Ice Cream shop is set up. Everyone is happy.

George Lucas sells Star Wars movie rights to Leman Russ.

i start a mcdonalds food chain in the city. call it mcwolfmercs which is sponsored by leman russ himself.

Bjorn arrives and demands to see Russ.

Russ is busy banning anarchists from his restaurant.

Bjorn orders some machine oil.

Doug Walker becomes a citizen of the city, Leman Russ personally shakes hands with him.

Leman Russ shakes Doug Walker's hand so hard it rips out of the socket, just as Russ planned. Leman Russ tells the dying Doug that his show is overrated as the ghost busters broom up what's left of Doug.
Afterwards, the ghost busters open an office in the city.

Leman Russ gives James Rolf the keys to the city and everyone cheers.

Abaddon drop 20,000 nukes on the planet, killing everything and anything on it several times over. The planet explodes into a thousand million smithereens.

James Rolf drops the f bomb on Abbadon's ship and the ship explodes. The earth has a replica failsafe that is placed in the same place as previous planet.

I buy the Planet Killer's schematics.

A band of raving mad Norse men enter the town, and starts to preform foul deeds upon the innocent fools

The Norsemen are followed by Quorthon who releases Nordland 3 and Nordland 4. Everyone buys the CDs because they're full of awesome.

Drunken celebrations follows, then suddenly Thor arrives!

Every single black and folk metaller in Europe visits the city to see mighty Thor.

And that was how the city evolved from a lone home of metal and into the nation we now know as Norway

Construction on a non-Chaos variant of the Planet Killer begins.

 Trondheim wrote:
And that was how the city evolved from a lone home of metal and into the nation we now know as Norway

That needed to be exalted.

Varg Vikerness stabs the planet killer's planner and constructioners 34 times per member.

The entire city is covered by an impentrable material. defending them permanently against all weapons or anything that might harm life in the city

Varg Vikerness returns and he is hailed as a hero.

The non-Chaos Planet Killer is finally completed, and is immediately transported to it's buyer's AU.

The non-Chaos Planet Killer is finally completed, and is immediately transported to it's buyer's AU.

Varg destroys the planet killer and kills the buyer.

Turns out it was a decoy. The real non-Chaos Planet Killer arrives in an AU Sol System and blows up the planet Mercury before setting course for Jupiter. Why? That's my secret

The Skaven discover a pile of Warpstone.
The streets get filled with Skaven blood.

A shuttle arrives and drops off a large numbers of giant cats.

Varg Vikernes tries to stab them, but is stopped just in time by Abbath

As Abbath and Varg duke it out Ghaal rises, and summons the giants who carve out a giant statue dedicated to himself.

The giant was named Trondheim.

Thor calls his friends, Odin and Freyr, into battle against the Giants.

When battle is joined Fenrir breaks his chains,and the world serpent rises from the sea

The Valkyries descend from on high, and the Norns sing of the fates of men, gods, and giants alike.

Leman Russ kills the serpent and fenris then wears their skulls as trophies.

Thor gets upset because Leman Russ stole his gig.

And, of course, Ragnarok occurs!

As man and gods die in the last battle a star falls. As the star lands in the burning hills a loud and deafening roar fills the air. Out from the mist walks the towering form of the Hulk!

A nice house is build on a hill.

The Emperor resurrects many Gods and saves them.

Religious conflict brews....

All the Gods unite together and talk to the leading Religous leaders of the world. They make a uniting church. Atheists meet and declare total war on the uniting church.

The atheists are quickly slaughtered by magic.

The Dark Angels arrive and kill all the magicians, capturing the leader, a giant in black, mechanical armor.

The Emperor arrives with the gods of the magicians. He quickly explains to the Dark Angels to release the magicians. They quickly release them.

The Dark Angels proceed to chase down rumors of an Astartes in pre-Heresy armor running around with a Bolt Pistol and a Plasma Pistol in either hand, and an undrawn sword strapped to his back.

Steven Hawkings confronts the Emperor and starts yelling at him.

The Emperor strikes back!

Stephen Hawkings tasers the Emperor.

 rockerbikie wrote:
Stephen Hawkings tasers the Emperor.

"There are ten million million million million million million million million million particles in the universe that we can observe, your momma took the ugly ones and put them into one nerd." is what he starts singing.

Then Einstein throws an apple at Hawkings.

Taco Aizen opens a branch.

Everyone sees Hawking rolling with his 12 inch rims.

I continue to build mcwolfmercs.