'Bitterly' Disappointed Dad's Email to Children Goes Viral
By Christina Ng | ABC News Blogs – 21 hrs ago
A retired British naval officer's scathing email to his three adult children about his bitter and frustrating disappointment in all of them has gone viral with its eloquence and biting honesty.
Nick Crews, 67, of Plymouth, England, sent the letter to his two daughters and son to express his deep disappointment in them and their life choices.
"We are constantly regaled with chapter and verse of the happy, successful lives of the families of our friends and relatives and being asked of news of our own children and grandchildren," Crews wrote. "I wonder if you realise [sic] how we feel - we have nothing to say which reflects any credit on you or us."
He criticized them for failed marriages, lack of maturity and their inability to provide for their families.
"Fulfilling careers based on your educations would have helped - but as yet none of you is what I would confidently term properly self-supporting," he continued. "Each of you is well able to earn a comfortable living and provide for your children, yet each of you has contrived to avoid even moderate achievement. Far from your children being able to rely on your provision, they are faced with needing to survive their introduction to life with you as parents.
"The predictable result has been a decade of deep unhappiness over the fates of our grandchildren," Crews wrote. "If it wasn't for them, Mum and I would not be too concerned, as each of you consciously, and with eyes wide open, crashes from one cock-up to the next."
Crews said he and his wife were sick and tired of listening to their children's complaint and failures. The children are 35, 38 and 40. The disgruntled dad wrote that he did not want to hear from his offspring again until they had good news.
"I can now tell you that I for one, and I sense Mum feels the same, have had enough of being forced to live through the never-ending bad dream of our children's underachievement and domestic ineptitudes," he wrote. "I want to hear no more from any of you until, if you feel inclined, you have a success or an achievement or a REALISTIC plan for the support and happiness of your children to tell me about."
His last sentence before signing the letter was, "I am bitterly, bitterly disappointed."
Crews sent the email in February and his eldest daughter Emily Crews, 40, recently asked him whether she could make it public in order to create some buzz while she works on a book about starting over.
The former commander has since told London's Telegraph that he does not regret sending the email, but fears it might have been misinterpreted.
"It wasn't meant as a furious dressing-down; more like a finger raised to my lips in church, when I spotted them picking their nose or scratching their bottom, down the pew from me," he told the paper. "I was trying to express my frustration at these wonderful grown-ups who had yet to make the best of what they had. They have read the criticism, but not seen the enduring love through the lines."
He paused before adding, "I haven't done well as a father, have I?"
Emily Crews is reportedly the only child still speaking to her father after receiving the letter.
"It was horrendous receiving that email from my father," she told London's Daily Mail. "What he said in his email was quite correct, but I don't think it was the right kind of support or the kick up the backside he intended it to be. I think he has created a monster out of the worst of us and ignored the best."
Upper class twits being called on it by their dad.
daughter Emily Crews, 40, recently asked him whether she could make it public in order to create some buzz while she works on a book about starting over.
Telling indeed...
More of these foppish malingerers and their chattering class bs need dragging into a dark corner and getting kicked about the tenders.
I'm pretty sure he doesn't give two gaks about a care home. I think the best part is where he says, "I haven't been a very good father have I?" but there seems to be the indication that his children have ample education and a decent role model. It's not his fault his kids are gakkers.
Automatically Appended Next Post: For clarity "gakkers" is the one that starts with a T.
daughter Emily Crews, 40, recently asked him whether she could make it public in order to create some buzz while she works on a book about starting over.
Telling indeed...
More of these foppish malingerers and their chattering class bs need dragging into a dark corner and getting kicked about the tenders.
daughter Emily Crews, 40, recently asked him whether she could make it public in order to create some buzz while she works on a book about starting over.
Telling indeed...
More of these foppish malingerers and their chattering class bs need dragging into a dark corner and getting kicked about the tenders.
We'd get them coming into the pubs in Cornwall... Grown adults in their 30s, 40s and even 50s without a fething clue, all aspiring novelists and artists and photographers come to 'discover themselves' or some such bollocks.
Tepid bastards with no backbone and no hard work in them. They'd have their wealthy parents buy them a big house that decent working people couldn't afford in the town and then they'd start trying to sell driftwood framed mirrors with shells glued on for seven hundred quid or black and white pictures of ripples in the beach sand for an equally silly amount. Then they'd sidle up next to you in the pub, tell you about how gak their life was because mater and pater wouldn't fund this 'amazing project' they envisioned and what a terrible life it was, after I'd just pulled a shift in Child Protection and wanted to drown my brain in beer quietly.
Snogging is British slang for kissing, although according to the urban dictionary, a snogger is a person who desperately wants mulder and scully from xfiles to 'get it on'...
Someday he might.
Just disown them he didn't need to make a song and dance about it.
You see it seemed to me that he loved his grandkids and only really had a problem with his own kids.
Plus disowning a child is complete horseradish from my point of view. Just because you say something or sign a piece of paper doesn't make them any less your child. Sure you can be horrendously disappointed or angry and never talk to them again, but they're still yours.
MeanGreenStompa wrote: Snogging is British slang for kissing, although according to the urban dictionary, a snogger is a person who desperately wants mulder and scully from xfiles to 'get it on'...
?
Wow thats all kind of wrong.
I'll restate as my mo would say. He's a real bastard but he's my kind of bastard.
CuddlySquig wrote: Oh, another one of these stories huh? Put it over there with that laptop with the bullet holes in it.
I heard about that, and heard the video (didn't actually see it because it was on my sister's phone). I wanted to punch that man. I hate parents who think just because they are the kid's parents that they deserve their undying love and respect. He should be asking himself "where did I go so wrong that my own daughter expresses her hatred of me on Facebook?". I have similar feelings about this guy.
Saying that, I am biased as my dad is a total arsehole.
CuddlySquig wrote: Oh, another one of these stories huh? Put it over there with that laptop with the bullet holes in it.
I heard about that, and heard the video (didn't actually see it because it was on my sister's phone). I wanted to punch that man. I hate parents who think just because they are the kid's parents that they deserve their undying love and respect. He should be asking himself "where did I go so wrong that my own daughter expresses her hatred of me on Facebook?". I have similar feelings about this guy.
Saying that, I am biased as my dad is a total arsehole.
I saw the video and the guys daughter was a complete spoiled rude brat, and lazy as all feth. She threw a pissy fit whenever she was asked to help out round home and told him they have a maid for that (was really the aunt or something who helped out every now and again)
On topic. Good on this guy, more useless little feths (no mater what age) need a wake up call sooner or later, and 9 times outa 10 if its your parents giving you the wake up call its for a glaringly obvious reason.
I'd be a one in ten then, I'm being told off for not being in schooling even when then know my previous school took away all my GCSEs back to four so I couldn't go to college.
All because I spoke out about maltr eatment, talk about idiocy
InquisitorVaron wrote: I'd be a one in ten then, I'm being told off for not being in schooling even when then know my previous school took away all my GCSEs back to four so I couldn't go to college.
All because I spoke out about maltr eatment, talk about idiocy
Just for us Yanks that don't know, what are GCSEs, and how does them being taken away prevent you from getting into school?
Hulksmash wrote: Why write in an email? In may family you get a phone call when they're disappointed in you
Probably because there's no room to interject or talk over someone in an email, nor the ability to hang up part-way through. In a phone call, he'd first need to make three seperate ones, allowing the first reciever to warn the other two unless it was some sort of conference call, and he'd also need to catch them both at home. He'd then have to get his point across without any of them slamming the phone down on him, or interjecting and simply shouting over him to say "YEAH, BUT...!".
My mum's family's weapon of choice is an email for exactly those reasons.
I know a guy like this, Since rest of his family lives at home he figures he can too, Which is fine at his age. But he doesn't has any aspirations for schooling jobs like the rest of his family. Just that he wants to go on his "Mission" And he is the kicker, the reot of his family lived apart from his parents at on point and fell on hard times.
AustonT wrote: I'm pretty sure he doesn't give two gaks about a care home.
Automatically Appended Next Post:
Someday he might.
Just disown them he didn't need to make a song and dance about it.
At 67 he's already a doddering old dribbler. I'm pretty sure he knew what he was doing.
Middle age over here, your healthcare is holding your old age back, that and Maccy D.
I'm sure you realize the difference in life expectancy between the UK and the US is less than 2 years and that in either country 67 is well past middle aged.
I don't what I am supposed to get out of this, that people who have failed marriages and can't support there children are bad? A father is disappointed in his children? How is this news or even post worthy?
InquisitorVaron wrote: I'd be a one in ten then, I'm being told off for not being in schooling even when then know my previous school took away all my GCSEs back to four so I couldn't go to college.
All because I spoke out about maltr eatment, talk about idiocy
Just for us Yanks that don't know, what are GCSEs, and how does them being taken away prevent you from getting into school?
To go to college for A levels you need five of them for any decent A level all above C grade.
The school took me back to the mandatory four because I didn't attend classes which I will explain if you wish, even though I had shown with tests I would get above a C.
GCSEs are your end of secondary school test to show how smart you are, sats are yours I think?
Essentially they're a waste of time and are easy, I wasn't in school since 13 due to some reasons yet still got a B in maths two boundaries off top marks. The problem is they cost £400 per test, and I'm not one to drop £2000 for them exen if I have the money come on LEA roll a six
I was going to be taking nine they took me to four which is the minimal allowed legally.
I need five to move on fourteen was originally the plan at my first normal nonboarding school.
Ignore what they are and just look at what they achieve it's easier to explain that way
InquisitorVaron wrote: I was going to be taking nine they took me to four which is the minimal allowed legally.
I need five to move on fourteen was originally the plan at my first normal nonboarding school.
Ignore what they are and just look at what they achieve it's easier to explain that way
Whembly is so confused.... o.O
So... basically, you're trying to skip some grades?
In Year 7 at the age of 12 I was a bright student going to take my tests early and lots of them, a GCSE is a singular subject like maths or english and so on. So at this point I was taking 14 in Year 9/10 and doing AS which is the first of two years at A level in year 11.
I messed around in my first year due to being ahead of my fellow students thus repeating everything I knew which is a waste of time. Before doing this I had asked if I could skip that bit and get onto things I didn't know.
So I was put in the naughty books and used as a scapegoat after they found out I had aspergers, this meant they could make an example of me so the others would become quiet and then claim I'm lying when I say I did nothing and get away with it.
So I left at age 13 or Year 8 after they punished me with a two hour after school detention for threating to kill someone on a day when I was ill and wasn't even there. Enough was enough of that gak.
So I pursued home teaching and my LEA or local education authority would pay for the tests, they backed down and I was forced to find a school.
Year 9 my parents decide a special school will do the trick, a stupid move...
I didn't want to go but I did, I boarded there the Education was back to year 7 again, my class were moronic with maths lessons consisting of 21+34 is?
So I didn't attend until year 10 which is the start of the GCSE tests.
[I've missed out the not being fed bit where I wouldn't be given my meals because I had told them to stop bullying the worse off kids with sarcastic comments which they don't understand] Anyway back to the education, they take away the amount I was going to take because I didn't attend lessons because I had no energy or desire to do so, even when I took mock tests to prove I would get above C.
At which point my near future crumbles and I put my energy in to getting out of that school, my parents didn't think anything was happening as the school said I was starving myself and rammed a outstanding ofsted report in their face [On that note I should photographic proof of unhegenic conditions and a bruise I had gotten from being pinned down for being agressive and by agressive I mean questioning their spelling and pointing out how it was a false record, at which point they say I'm not allowed into the kitchen and I break and swear at them][The unhegenic wrong spelling I know conditions were about a dozen dead flies in my kitchen and a week old stain of pasta sauce in the oven, none of which created by me as this was when I came back from a month holiday]
I finally get out in year 11 at 16 it's been 6 months now and my parents are saying it's my fault and I wasted time. The first four months were recovery as I had lost over three stone rapidly and put it on when I came back and off when I went back so my organs and life were pretty screwed up.
I'm now talking to the LEA about them paying for my education and eventually a solicitor to make a claim for negligence. I think the main reason my parents are anoyed is it cost £30,000 in legal fees for them to persuade the LEA to get me there.
Heh ho life goes on, but the most tragic part is no one will give a feth and I wrote this on my mobile so my thumbs are cramped.
Frazzled wrote: That still doesn't make any sense to me. I am sure Brits understand what you wrote completly though.
The answer I think you want is that GCSEs are General Certificates of Standard education (If I remember correctly, it's been a while), exams normally taken at age 16.
I've written quite a few nasty, venomous letters to lovers simply for the pleasure of making them cry. You can almost feel their stomach turn and the tears welling up in their eyes. Delicious.
This takes the cake though. Oddly, when I read that he was a British Naval Officer, it seemed fitting.
See, any parent can get a bad kid. Some kids are just plain hard work, and parenting seems to me a slippery slope, where one problem is likely to lead to another, and another and so on. So if a parent has one useless kid then maybe we shouldn't assume the parents did anything wrong.
But when you have three kids and they're all useless, I'm inclined to think the parents probably did a fair few things wrong along the way.
So when the father in the OP's story says 'I haven't been a very good father' I'm inclined to say 'no, probably not.'
If all three of your children are horrible feth-ups, despite the fact that they came from a wealthy background and were very well educated, odds are that you failed somewhere as a parent. If the guy had only one one or two feth-ups of children, I might side with him, but so far he has a 100% failure rate as a parent.
LoneLictor wrote:If all three of your children are horrible feth-ups, despite the fact that they came from a wealthy background and were very well educated, odds are that you failed somewhere as a parent. If the guy had only one one or two feth-ups of children, I might side with him, but so far he has a 100% failure rate as a parent.
I don't think it's fair to say "100%" is his fail rate... the article mentions that he has a daughter, yet makes no mention of her being a stripper. And I'm pretty sure your daughter has to become a stripper in order to achieve the mythic 100% rate of parent-fail.
MeanGreenStompa wrote: We'd get them coming into the pubs in Cornwall... Grown adults in their 30s, 40s and even 50s without a fething clue, all aspiring novelists and artists and photographers come to 'discover themselves' or some such bollocks.
Tepid bastards with no backbone and no hard work in them. They'd have their wealthy parents buy them a big house that decent working people couldn't afford in the town and then they'd start trying to sell driftwood framed mirrors with shells glued on for seven hundred quid or black and white pictures of ripples in the beach sand for an equally silly amount. Then they'd sidle up next to you in the pub, tell you about how gak their life was because mater and pater wouldn't fund this 'amazing project' they envisioned and what a terrible life it was, after I'd just pulled a shift in Child Protection and wanted to drown my brain in beer quietly.
feth them all to hell.
I take it you don't like artists? You would have hated Van Gogh, that's for sure. He was a neurotic if ever there was one.
I don't think it's a matter of not liking artists.
It's about not liking losers who think they are artists, but actually just suck at life. We have them in the states, too. I like to call them hipsters.
InquisitorVaron wrote: I was going to be taking nine they took me to four which is the minimal allowed legally.
I need five to move on fourteen was originally the plan at my first normal nonboarding school.
Ignore what they are and just look at what they achieve it's easier to explain that way
Whembly is so confused.... o.O
So... basically, you're trying to skip some grades?
+1 to Whembly here. The British education system is really crazy to us Americans.
For one thing, we aren't required to take any national standardized tests, save for a select few, and we only have two predominant college entrance tests we take when we are 16-18 - the ACT or any of the many SATs.
It's about not liking losers who think they are artists, but actually just suck at life. We have them in the states, too. I like to call them hipsters.
Absolutely. I mean, you like art? Then do art. And in the meantime get a job and work and pay for yourself and don't lean on anyone else. Then odds are you're awesome, even if your art sucks. Maybe one day you'll get your breakthrough and live off your art, but probably you won't so in the meantime set yourself up for a proper, adult life.
But if you like talking about art, and living an artist lifestyle which basically means fething about all day and living off your parents/whatever member of the opposite sex was charmed enough to have you scrounge off them for a period of time, then odds are you're a feth up.
It's about not liking losers who think they are artists, but actually just suck at life. We have them in the states, too. I like to call them hipsters.
Ah, now I see. That's good to know - I'd hate to be an enemy of MGS. I love photography and writing, and are considering those subjects as careers, but I do wanna avoid the trap of unemployed hipsterdom. Hell, I'd rather scrub toilets than be totally dependent on my family and the government (though my family is way too willing to support me if I chose the life of an unemployed artist).
...and you will know them by the Polaroid App on their iPhone and general nonchalant mincing.
Replace "Hot Girl" with "Hipster Arsepiece"
Living in a city heavily influenced by art means you see these kind of people all the god damned time. There is some great art, but a lot of "not so much"
...and you will know them by the Polaroid App on their iPhone and general nonchalant mincing.
I'd get an app instead of a $300 camera too.
I seem to recall my Polaroid cost like $15 plus a pack of paper for $10 so I could take edgy photos of hookers and drunk friends.
...and you will know them by the Polaroid App on their iPhone and general nonchalant mincing.
I'd get an app instead of a $300 camera too.
I seem to recall my Polaroid cost like $15 plus a pack of paper for $10 so I could take edgy photos of hookers and drunk friends.
Didn't you pose them to be hookers with drunk friends?
...and you will know them by the Polaroid App on their iPhone and general nonchalant mincing.
I'd get an app instead of a $300 camera too.
I seem to recall my Polaroid cost like $15 plus a pack of paper for $10 so I could take edgy photos of hookers and drunk friends.
Didn't you pose them to be hookers with drunk friends?
Nope I posed my drunk friends as hookers
#poortaste
InquisitorVaron wrote: I'd be a one in ten then, I'm being told off for not being in schooling even when then know my previous school took away all my GCSEs back to four so I couldn't go to college.
All because I spoke out about maltr eatment, talk about idiocy
Just for us Yanks that don't know, what are GCSEs, and how does them being taken away prevent you from getting into school?
To go to college for A levels you need five of them for any decent A level all above C grade.
The school took me back to the mandatory four because I didn't attend classes which I will explain if you wish, even though I had shown with tests I would get above a C.
GCSEs are your end of secondary school test to show how smart you are, sats are yours I think?
Essentially they're a waste of time and are easy, I wasn't in school since 13 due to some reasons yet still got a B in maths two boundaries off top marks. The problem is they cost £400 per test, and I'm not one to drop £2000 for them exen if I have the money come on LEA roll a six
1) GCSEs cost about £35 per test, depending on where you sit them. Before you dispute this, I know it to be true as I was Head of Learning for a GCSE cohort last year.
2) There ARE good courses where you can be doing something useful without having 5 good GCSEs if you can show a good attitude. I know this by getting kids onto those courses. B in maths is a half-decent grade. What do you have in English? You may not get the exact course you want, but guess what, that is life.
3) You were withdrawn from all but four GCSEs? Apart from Maths, what grades did you get in the ones you sat? Or do you have an excuse for failing them too?
4) You've posted all of this stuff before. As an education professional, I find your desire to blame everyone else sadly unsurprising. The system clearly doesn't suit you, but instead of doing your best, within it, compromising, or finding an alternative, you demand the system bend over backwards for you. Now, I am sure you will repeat all of the things you have said regarding hygiene, how you have been mistreated, etc, but I get these things thrown at me quite regularly, although on a smaller scale, and your cried just echo what I hear from every child who doesn't want to grow up.
First off I will say your cynical to my situation due to your experiences. I would be if I had experienced what you had for aslong.
1. Go find me a company that services a singular independant child for £35, since that doesn't include teaching and books. I will needs books to learn from...
2. Let me guess a level two BTEC in a practical skill such as plumbing? Or non A levels like Travel and tourism or photography?
3. Maths was the only test I took all the modules for and I failed in my calculator paper. I got a C in English after getting A* in all the modules I took and since I wasn't able to attend around 40% of the test much the same with the Science except I missed 50% and got Two D's. All of which I achieved without attending any class for five years. The tests were missed due to health issues down to the starving.
4. You have me wrongly pegged, I'm demanding now after they have failed me it didn't start like that.
First school I asked for a compromise only the Geography teacher put me on a different course after I did a test for GCSE in Year 7 and got flawless marks.
The rest ignored my polite request for harder work, which led to young headstrong me messing around geetting in the naughty books and being excluded for months on end, so I left before I was perma excluded which would've made me one of the 500 or so who were.
I was being homeschooled and was going to take the tests early but the LEA backed away and told me I had to be connected to a school to take them.
Now being excluded so much no normal mainstream school was going to take me, so it was a borstal style school or a specialist one since I have Aspergers. Mild mind you I've fooled specialists about it.
Go there maltreatment and so on and get taken down to the minimum because I spoke out and because I made a criminal of the headteacher infront of a "independant" person.
I end up here and after recovering mostly mentally as you can tell I still harbour intese hatred of the school I've been talking to the LEA about getting me more GCSE tests so I can go to mainstream college and take true A Levels that I want.
A talk on thursday next week will see if I have permission to do so.
I will and do accept the wise move would've been to be quiet take the boring slow route and ended up with 14 A*s early with good prospects, but I was a headstrong youth with Aspergers I didn't want to be slowed down. Other than that secondary failing by me the system has failed me.
InquisitorVaron wrote: First off I will say your cynical to my situation due to your experiences. I would be if I had experienced what you had for aslong.
1. Go find me a company that services a singular independant child for £35, since that doesn't include teaching and books. I will needs books to learn from...
2. Let me guess a level two BTEC in a practical skill such as plumbing? Or non A levels like Travel and tourism or photography?
3. Maths was the only test I took all the modules for and I failed in my calculator paper. I got a C in English after getting A* in all the modules I took and since I wasn't able to attend around 40% of the test much the same with the Science except I missed 50% and got Two D's. All of which I achieved without attending any class for five years. The tests were missed due to health issues down to the starving.
4. You have me wrongly pegged, I'm demanding now after they have failed me it didn't start like that.
First school I asked for a compromise only the Geography teacher put me on a different course after I did a test for GCSE in Year 7 and got flawless marks.
The rest ignored my polite request for harder work, which led to young headstrong me messing around geetting in the naughty books and being excluded for months on end, so I left before I was perma excluded which would've made me one of the 500 or so who were.
I was being homeschooled and was going to take the tests early but the LEA backed away and told me I had to be connected to a school to take them.
Now being excluded so much no normal mainstream school was going to take me, so it was a borstal style school or a specialist one since I have Aspergers. Mild mind you I've fooled specialists about it.
Go there maltreatment and so on and get taken down to the minimum because I spoke out and because I made a criminal of the headteacher infront of a "independant" person.
I end up here and after recovering mostly mentally as you can tell I still harbour intese hatred of the school I've been talking to the LEA about getting me more GCSE tests so I can go to mainstream college and take true A Levels that I want.
A talk on thursday next week will see if I have permission to do so.
I will and do accept the wise move would've been to be quiet take the boring slow route and ended up with 14 A*s early with good prospects, but I was a headstrong youth with Aspergers I didn't want to be slowed down. Other than that secondary failing by me the system has failed me.
Go ahead pick it apart
Well, at least you are willing to admit your mistakes. That's always a good thing.
I'd like to take a moment to applaud Commander Crews, at the very least he can admit he fethed up, and honestly inform the results of his parenting fail that they too are feth ups.
Fifty wrote: 4) You've posted all of this stuff before. As an education professional, I find your desire to blame everyone else sadly unsurprising. The system clearly doesn't suit you, but instead of doing your best, within it, compromising, or finding an alternative, you demand the system bend over backwards for you. Now, I am sure you will repeat all of the things you have said regarding hygiene, how you have been mistreated, etc, but I get these things thrown at me quite regularly, although on a smaller scale, and your cried just echo what I hear from every child who doesn't want to grow up.
Thanks for posting that. From my albeit limited experience with public education, I've seen a system that bends over backwards to accomodate students unlike, well basically any other human institution on Earth. And despite that I've heard countless stories of students who were hard done by the crazy and often spiteful for no particular reason Dept of Education.
Fifty wrote: 4) You've posted all of this stuff before. As an education professional, I find your desire to blame everyone else sadly unsurprising. The system clearly doesn't suit you, but instead of doing your best, within it, compromising, or finding an alternative, you demand the system bend over backwards for you. Now, I am sure you will repeat all of the things you have said regarding hygiene, how you have been mistreated, etc, but I get these things thrown at me quite regularly, although on a smaller scale, and your cried just echo what I hear from every child who doesn't want to grow up.
Thanks for posting that. From my albeit limited experience with public education, I've seen a system that bends over backwards to accomodate students unlike, well basically any other human institution on Earth. And despite that I've heard countless stories of students who were hard done by the crazy and often spiteful for no particular reason Dept of Education.
Show me one example of the LEA bending over backwards for my education?
InquisitorVaron wrote: First off I will say your cynical to my situation due to your experiences. I would be if I had experienced what you had for aslong.
2. Let me guess a level two BTEC in a practical skill such as plumbing? Or non A levels like Travel and tourism or photography?
You wouldn't get on a plumbing apprenticeship. You need GCSEs.
InquisitorVaron wrote: First off I will say your cynical to my situation due to your experiences. I would be if I had experienced what you had for aslong.
2. Let me guess a level two BTEC in a practical skill such as plumbing? Or non A levels like Travel and tourism or photography?
You wouldn't get on a plumbing apprenticeship. You need GCSEs.
I was offered that so don't give me that malcom tucker And no not by my LEA...
better get in education or job by 18, or life is going to get very hard.
p.s Aspergers is not an excuse, I am also Aspergers and did very well in my gcses i just lack attention span, social skills or desire to mature. which are the main reasons I remain unemployed.
Well, I won't assume you haven't investigated all the options, but I surprised you couldn't get some help. All the students who were excluded from my last school were able to complete qualifications at various centres.
Glad to hear it nom Not using it as an excuse it was a factor when I was younger, now I've never been called out for having Aspergers as I mostly appear normal.
Da Boss I've exhausted most of the options, to fill my time I'm volountering at Oxfam and I've applied for two jobs and got two responses back but decided not to follow up because I fear if I got the job it would make my life harder to persuade the LEA to fund education.
InquisitorVaron wrote: Glad to hear it nom Not using it as an excuse it was a factor when I was younger, now I've never been called out for having Aspergers as I mostly appear normal.
Da Boss I've exhausted most of the options, to fill my time I'm volountering at Oxfam and I've applied for two jobs and got two responses back but decided not to follow up because I fear if I got the job it would make my life harder to persuade the LEA to fund education.
Apply for part-time work, they shouldn't really have to many issues with that. if jobseekers and housing benefits still pay you whilst in part time work I imagine the lea will still help.
The LEA are weasly beggars, the point they would make is if I could get a paid job then I could work my way up into better pay through experience.
Part time can become full time at the snap of some fingers so their arguement would still stand.
I take no chances with them after they backed out of paying for my GCSE's when homeschooled.
Tepid bastards with no backbone and no hard work in them. They'd have their wealthy parents buy them a big house that decent working people couldn't afford in the town and then they'd start trying to sell driftwood framed mirrors with shells glued on for seven hundred quid or black and white pictures of ripples in the beach sand for an equally silly amount.
No, the worst ones are the ones that people actually pay the stupid amounts of money to, because they get to put on airs. When I still worked for my parents I had to deal with these asshats. They either think they're 'artists' (of which damn few really were IMHO) or are self important because they have the right last name.
InquisitorVaron wrote: First off I will say your cynical to my situation due to your experiences. I would be if I had experienced what you had for aslong.
2. Let me guess a level two BTEC in a practical skill such as plumbing? Or non A levels like Travel and tourism or photography?
You wouldn't get on a plumbing apprenticeship. You need GCSEs.
I was offered that so don't give me that malcom tucker And no not by my LEA...
Oh, the ones I had seen had that as a minimum entry requirement. I stand corrected. You should do it! They earn good money. You'll pretty much instantly be earning way more money than your friends when you're qualified. Also, unless you get your GCSEs sorted soon, you won't be able to do A-Levels, which means no Uni till 26 (iirc).
InquisitorVaron wrote: First off I will say your cynical to my situation due to your experiences. I would be if I had experienced what you had for aslong.
2. Let me guess a level two BTEC in a practical skill such as plumbing? Or non A levels like Travel and tourism or photography?
You wouldn't get on a plumbing apprenticeship. You need GCSEs.
I was offered that so don't give me that malcom tucker And no not by my LEA...
Oh, the ones I had seen had that as a minimum entry requirement. I stand corrected. You should do it! They earn good money. You'll pretty much instantly be earning way more money than your friends when you're qualified. Also, unless you get your GCSEs sorted soon, you won't be able to do A-Levels, which means no Uni till 26 (iirc).
GCSE's will be sorted on thursday hopefully.
I thought about it because pay is good since the oncall pay and overtime, but I wouldn't enjoy it and my social life would become moot due to sporadic shifts.
Somehow I don't see myself enjoying unblocking gakky pipes, being a semi-posh south eastener
I would prefer a more academic job, chemistry maths sort of things coding would be nice
Albatross wrote: Most of the coders I've met seem to complain that they do the IT equivalent of unblocking gakky pipes Just saying.
The IT equivilant doesn't stink as much, though. You can't do a half-arsed job of it and expect the kind of pay some plumbers do, however, so I guess it balances out somewhere along the line.
Usually you're the one responsbile for your own coding. You code it, send it up to testing, and if they find a problem then it comes back to you. It helps eliminate problems that could arise from personal preferences and individual styles, as well as meaning they don't have to get anyone else up to speed on it and have them pester you every ten seconds asking questions about it.
Sorry, if that came across as condescending it was more meant as joke, but yeah people on the Off-topic forum funnily enough go off-topic quite often (myself included).
But if you like talking about art, and living an artist lifestyle which basically means fething about all day and living off your parents/whatever member of the opposite sex was charmed enough to have you scrounge off them for a period of time, then odds are you're a feth up.
This exactly. As someone pursuing a career in visual arts and graphic design, days where you're working for 12-14 hours straight should not be uncommon. A typical "day off" should see 4-6 hours of work at least. Anyone who thinks they can get by fething off all day won't go far and is one hell of a screw-up.
I work in schools and find this account of one man against the entire system somewhat difficult to swallow as being anywhere near the full story. So you messed around in school because you were too 'brilliant' for the classes and then wonder why they didn't enter you for exams when you never attended classes? At some point you will have been told that a basic level of attendance is required to be seriously considered for exam entry. That and an account of false reports about hygiene and hints of aggressive behaviour, in which you did nothing to warrant being expelled or physically restrained. Or how you 'spoke out' and 'made a criminal of the headteacher' (WTF does that even mean?). It doesn't stack up to me, 'headstrong teen that wanted to go too fast in a system that couldn't deal with him' is a good story/excuse from pupil/parents who apparently can pay out £30,000 for legal fees but who don't want to pay a few hundred for books and GCSEs exams to be taken independently.
Also you've said several times that you scored above a C for subjects, but you're going to need to do better than that to be capable of doing A-level courses. I'm sorry, but that's how it is. You need to be of A, or minimum B, standard to cope with the workload of A-levels that are much higher than GCSE. Your hopes of having an academic career in chemistry or maths requires A-levels and beyond, and you've missed out on a lot of basic schooling it seems.
In my experience there's a lot of support for people with genuine difficulties and the education system has a hell of a lot of support through schools for them. This idea that no one cares and the system is out to get them and oppress them is very much a child's point of view, often fuelled by blinkered parents, because they don't see a more rounded version of things from staff and see all the systems specifically in place to support and protect young people.
Orlanth wrote: Frazzie, wide thread alert, can you or a mod please edit the OP and cut the link in with a tag.
[url=that long email address} link [/url}
Good idea. Fixed.
Also, as a general reminder, we need to get back to the original topic if folks want to keep the thread open. People living crappy wannabe-artist lives and people failing in school are related tangents, but we're starting to wander a bit far afield.
I'm surprised that no one has mentioned how this hard, pragmatic father is essentially whining about not being able to brag about his children to the country-club set.
dogma wrote: I'm surprised that no one has mentioned how this hard, pragmatic father is essentially whining about not being able to brag about his children to the country-club set.
Or just other parents in general. Have you ever met a single parent who DOESN'T want to be able to brag about their kids? My own mother will tell any one who will listen about her son the Marine, gunsmith and wanna be entrepreneur (actually got some industry contacts from her doing that, mom knows how to network) and her other son the sailor. Followed shortly by talking people's ear off about my kid sister's accomplishments in dance competitions. My last brother remains unmentioned cause he's the family fethhead.
InquisitorVaron wrote: Show me one example of the LEA bending over backwards for my education?
Given I've not been one of your teachers, or a school admin at any of your places of education, obviously I can't do that. What I can do is read your story, and speculate that there's probably more to it than just your story.
That doesn't mean you're a villain or a liar, but it does mean that like many young people (and quite a few adults, come to think of it), you see things very much through your own experiences, and see injustice where there is actually people not doing exactly what you want, often with your best interests in mind.
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KalashnikovMarine wrote: Or just other parents in general. Have you ever met a single parent who DOESN'T want to be able to brag about their kids?
But heh it takes balls.
eatment, talk about idiocy
