Okay, so I'm currently in the middle of spraypainting some props, and wasn't paying attention to what direction the nozzle was facing when I pressed the button. Needless to say, I just spent the last 20 minutes washing black primer off of the palm of my hand and arm, and I think I might have paint in my hair now, too.
Tell me Dakka: what's the dumbest thing you've ever done?
I tried prying a bit off of a rhino I was holding in one hand with a boxcutter in the other hand. Well, shortly afterward, the part was off and I spent about 15 minutes sitting in my bathroom cycling through numbers in my phone for someone who could take me to the hospital, blood trickling down my arm (which was now raised, dripping down my arm onto my shirt), and dog flipping out because he smelled a lot of blood. Seven stitches later, that was a long night at the ER.
Another time, I was working on an old CRT-based TV, trying to figure out what was causing a high pitched whining when it was turned on. I found the part, moved one side to change the pitch, moved the other side to change the pitch a different way, and then for whatever reason, thought it would be a good idea to move both sides at the same time. When dealing with high-voltage, completing a circuit with both arms is a no-no. Next thing I remember after that was waking up on the ground with my roommate and a friend staring over me, letting me know how stupid of a feth I am.
Played with fireworks the other day; mortars, to be specific. One fell out of its tube while lit. Iron Maiden would have been proud, how loudly I was singing "Run to the Hills"...Everyone else was screaming "Oh, gak!!!" "feth" "Run!!"
timetowaste85 wrote: Played with fireworks the other day; mortars, to be specific. One fell out of its tube while lit. Iron Maiden would have been proud, how loudly I was singing "Run to the Hills"...Everyone else was screaming "Oh, gak!!!" "feth" "Run!!"
...I told one of my best friends I love her... I know, tremendously stupid...
...she took it pretty well though, she cuddled closer to me and wrapped my arms around her tighter...
...although she is still 'unsure' about her feelings for me... which is odd because when she had a boyfriend she was 'conflicted' about her feelings because she had a thing for the both of us... now that she's single apparently thats not the case...
timetowaste85 wrote: Played with fireworks the other day; mortars, to be specific. One fell out of its tube while lit. Iron Maiden would have been proud, how loudly I was singing "Run to the Hills"...Everyone else was screaming "Oh, gak!!!" "feth" "Run!!"
Late 90s my friends and I made a large number of cannon-type devices using improved black powder and coconuts, etc. One time we lit one and it didn't fire. Yes, I did start to look down the barrel to see what happened right before it went off (luckily I didn't make it). That was loud.
When I was about nine, there was an open manhole down my street that was over flooded with sewage water, someone had knocked the glass window from the booth the previous night and being the stupid kids we were we decided to put it over the sewage hole and do some weird game where we had to jump on the pane of glass then bounce off it before it fell through, guess what: I was the one who didn't get of it on time and fell through, I went into the ditch and fell into the sewage water in it up to my chest. The only thing that stopped me from submerging completely in what was possibly the entire streets' excrement was the fact that that I stuck my arms out in time.
There's also the time where my dad had a BBQ going and he explicitly told me NOT to touch the red hot coals with my hand while he was gone just because they looked cold. Well Guess what? I went and did it anyway. Had a water blister the size of Mt Rushmore for the rest of the week.
This one isn't really my mistake but a friend and I were playing golf on a field in front of the local shop, I was trying to show my friend how awesome I was with a driving iron to which he replied "You call that a swing? this is a swing!" So he took a pitching wedge and wacked then ball thinking he'd be showing us the greatest swing of the century, turns out it only went flying towards the shop and put the glass door through. I don't know to this day how we didn't get caught because you had a perfect view of the field from inside the shop. We ended up sprinting it all the way back home using a bunch of alleyways behind the flats nearby. Thought we were in the clear only to find out we'd left half my dads golf clubs behind in the panic rush, had to crawl across the field MGS style to retrieve them afterwards. When we got back our other friend spent the rest of the day joking with us about how we were going to do time for putting the window through with me as an accomplice on account of them being mine (and some of them my fathers golf clubs.)
I had more tales of childhood stupidity but I'm pressed for time so I might edit some more in later.
...I told one of my best friends I love her... I know, tremendously stupid...
...she took it pretty well though, she cuddled closer to me and wrapped my arms around her tighter...
...although she is still 'unsure' about her feelings for me... which is odd because when she had a boyfriend she was 'conflicted' about her feelings because she had a thing for the both of us... now that she's single apparently thats not the case...
...I told one of my best friends I love her... I know, tremendously stupid...
...she took it pretty well though, she cuddled closer to me and wrapped my arms around her tighter...
...although she is still 'unsure' about her feelings for me... which is odd because when she had a boyfriend she was 'conflicted' about her feelings because she had a thing for the both of us... now that she's single apparently thats not the case...
chaos0xomega - sounds like you *might* be onto a good thing there, and in any case, expressing your feelings for someone is actually the best thing to do if you ever want to make something of them. Good luck with it!
Stupidest thing I've ever done... hmm. That would PROBABLY have to be the time I was building a PC for a friend and managed to plug in the connection for the USB front panel into the firewire connector on the motherboard instead of the USB connector... now you might be thinking it's an easy mistake to make, and fair enough the slots are the same size etc., but it managed to produce a flame on bootup!!
We were so lucky. Not only did neither of us get hurt, but after immediately cutting the power and putting it in the right place, those USB ports worked just fine...
azazel the cat wrote: Okay, so I'm currently in the middle of spraypainting some props, and wasn't paying attention to what direction the nozzle was facing when I pressed the button. Needless to say, I just spent the last 20 minutes washing black primer off of the palm of my hand and arm, and I think I might have paint in my hair now, too.
Tell me Dakka: what's the dumbest thing you've ever done?
If that's the dumbest thing you've done you need to get out and live more
As for me you name it Ive probably done the stupid way of doing it. Got mad and punched a truck a few times and broke my hand. Jumped off a roof and landed wrong, that broke my foot, all for a picture of me in the air. Baked cookies and pulled them out bare handed. Plenty of others
When walking to my care to go get a snack yesterday I pressed the unlock button on my clicker, opened the door and sat down. When I tried to start the car it wouldn't go. It took me about five minutes to realize I wasn't in my car but a nearly identical vehicle parked right next to it XD
The best part? The owner of the car was trying the drivers side handle for mine Looked over right as he opened the door and looked in side. We had a good laugh.
Many years back when I was climbing some trees and I found and excellent vine with which to swing into an adjacent tree. Turns out they do not work in the same way Tarzan would have us believe and I basically jumped off the branch, fell several feet and twisted my ankle.
Also anything to do with women, why is it that I always end up winning the hearts of those I have no interest in? Perhaps my stunning good looks and sexy English accent only appeal to the scary chicks?
Finally, my disastrous attempt to place a hornet's nest in my friends tent while camping. The little fellas were not content to sit put while I took them across the field and simply engulfed me as soon as I stepped near them.
...I told one of my best friends I love her... I know, tremendously stupid...
...she took it pretty well though, she cuddled closer to me and wrapped my arms around her tighter...
...although she is still 'unsure' about her feelings for me... which is odd because when she had a boyfriend she was 'conflicted' about her feelings because she had a thing for the both of us... now that she's single apparently thats not the case...
...i'll shut up now.
Sounds like me a couple of years ago but it eventually ended in me being "friend-zoned" and my desire to turn it into a physical relationship made her so uncomfortable that we decided to stop seeing each other, it probably didn't help that she had a boyfriend too. I shouldn't be mad at
being "zoned" though, there's nothing wrong with having another friend but I was too sexually attracted to her to just be happy as friends.
Desubot wrote: Forgot to button up my jacket while i was stick welding over head.
NEVER AGAIN.
Oh god. NEVER AGAIN!
Glad to know someone knows of the plight.
Yeah i pretty much combusted. but it wasn't actually that bad. burns healed but it isn't as bad as jabbing my self in the chest with still white hot tungsten bit while Tig welding. have a wicked puncture scar still, right next to my heart.
A while ago during a game, my opponent and I were drinking some cans of coke, I finished mine first and it was during his turn, so being a bored teenager I thought I would be a smartass and crush then twist open the can.
Needless to say I cut my thumb right open and blood came gushing out. To this day I will continue to wonder how I didn't spill any blood on anything...
Desubot wrote: Forgot to button up my jacket while i was stick welding over head.
NEVER AGAIN.
Oh god. NEVER AGAIN!
Glad to know someone knows of the plight.
Yeah i pretty much combusted. but it wasn't actually that bad. burns healed but it isn't as bad as jabbing my self in the chest with still white hot tungsten bit while Tig welding. have a wicked puncture scar still, right next to my heart.
I hurt my self too much welding.
Hot, cramped, hard to breathe, can't see gak, burn wounds everywhere, but the pay is decent
One...not enough room on Dakka to post Two...I would win hands down (In my mind only)
Three....I can think of maybe three-four people on here who can beat me just a "tad"
Four....Some but not all will get it
example
Common sense left me and I raise my right arm quite a few times....
Five....I'm still alive......
Edit
Dang blank edit
WHoever ask. The Rare View is back of C17 full of paratroopers....we were testing the aircraft for airborne operations when it first came out. Was no test board of jumpers....end result....static line needed 2-4 ft extension. At that time no pictures were allowed of the inside of the aircraft
It was Halloween and I got insanely drunk. I donned some devil horns and painted my face and torso red with thick artist acrylic paint (the in a tube stuff)
Some how I got separated from my mates and completely lost I ended up sitting at the back of a Salvation Army church listening to a service.
As dumb as sitting in on a church service totally smashed, bare chested and in full devil costume sounds, I still feel the paint was dumber.
It was impossible to wash off properly and I had to spend a week in college explaining to everyone why my face had such a red hue.
Mine isn't as dramatic as some of your stories but.... I was downstairs eating breakfast when I heard my mom say her restroom was leaking from the ceiling. I realized that I left my sink on upstairs. Running up, I got into my room to promptly slip on the water smash into the floor and slide away. Also I guess there was that time where I got on a new bike, went down a hill, and bounced down with a bike rolling after me.
azazel the cat wrote: Okay, so I'm currently in the middle of spraypainting some props, and wasn't paying attention to what direction the nozzle was facing when I pressed the button. Needless to say, I just spent the last 20 minutes washing black primer off of the palm of my hand and arm, and I think I might have paint in my hair now, too.
Tell me Dakka: what's the dumbest thing you've ever done?
If that's the dumbest thing you've done you need to get out and live more
It's not even close. It just gave me the idea for the thread.
Once I took shrooms without planning it. When i realized that it lasted 8 hours (and god, it probably was nine for me) I started freaking out a bit. I also learned that the guy who sold it was pretty sketchy as well. Ended up being a really interesting day for me
Another time, I ended up getting drunk in the day time. Somehow I lost around 50 dollars, shamed myself in front of a veteran who was leaving his granddaughters birthday party and acted like an ass to some poor kid.
While these stories probably aren't too bad, present me thinks past me should have been smarter.
18 married to a 24 yrs old model.....as your NCO KM......I congrats you in face and behind your back hope you don't go to pieces on me when the divorce starts. Really really pray not for it to happen on a deployment.
OY......I kicked a 40mm grenade that been fired but didn't go off.....HE by the marking....kept walking
KM had a cast iron pot. My dad dared my mom to stab him. They were arguing while she was chopping tomato's. My dad has a nice 3" scar on his chest she sliced him instead.
LOL I got divorced paperwork on my 08 deployment. Talked about scrambling to protect myself financialy and doing missions....
Super Ready wrote: chaos0xomega - sounds like you *might* be onto a good thing there, and in any case, expressing your feelings for someone is actually the best thing to do if you ever want to make something of them. Good luck with it!
Only because you can move on to someone that would reciprocate the warm fuzzies if the first person doesn't. 50 nos and a yes is still a yes...
Snrub wrote: I urinated on an electric fence once. Felt like i was getting kicked in the chest.
Yea it's funny how you always feel that in the chest eh? Growing up a buddy of mine lived on a large dairy farm surrounded by electric fences. Well one day we were playing a game of football and I was open. His uncle tossed the ball high, I ran after it, caught it and then connected with one of those fences. From my momentum I flipped over the wire and was caught by my stomach and left dangling over this electrified wire zapping the gak out of me until I finally flopped off
My brother and I bought cast iron swords from an auction and we decided to fight with them. After a few painful blows it ended with me taking him out at the knee and his sword coming straight down on my skull. Luckily we appear to be made of sterner stuff and only got a way with bumps and bruiser (and maybe a slight concussion).
A more recent one was I was waiting for a ride from my father when a stranger came up in the exact same car model I was waiting for. I jumped in and looked over at very confused old man and a dog. I promptly apologized, dashed out of the car and saw my father waiting a few cars down, laughing. The Ford Flex has become very popular apparently.
While I had written this story out, I'm going to spoiler it due to the kiddies that frequent this board. It's PG-13, but I feel that I'd be promoting something that is not kid friendly.
Spoiler:
We had a fraternity brother strap himself into an Edward 40 hands while in his room (so no one knew about it), he pukes into one of his bottles, and continues drinking it... We burst into his room after we heard the puking sounds from his open window wondering wtf was going on.
Based on telling a dumb drinking story about other people, I will not tell a dumb drinking story about myself.
I was at an "CEOs and Office Hoes" party, where the men dress up in business apparel and the girls have an excuse to dressy like slutty librarians/secretaries. While sitting down to a rousing game of kings, it turns out the giant 5 gal jug of juice I was drinking from contained far more booze than I had imagined (recipe from what I saw the next morning was 2 fifths of everclear, 2 liters of Fruit Punch soda, and 2 liters of Pineapple Soda). I blacked out that night, and apparently spent 2 hours making fun of the only black guy at this party. I have no recollection of the event, but from what I heard, the guy was throwing them right back at me, we apparently started singing together, and at the end of the night I went out to puke my brains out* and get taken back to the fraternity house. I woke up shirtless, in a strange room, with no idea of where my glasses were (found my iPod and phone due to them going off in my pocket). The best part was, I wandered over to the student center that morning to check my mailbox and in my slightly hungover state, I saw the black guy from the party... He throws his arms up and yells, "CRACKER!" and I hang my head in shame, I said hey I heard about last night, sorry about calling you those things. He said it was okay and we went on our way.
* - The drunken memory that I have of me while blacked out was going out to the outhouse (yes this place did have a good old fashioned outhouse), going to the bathroom and and puking all at once... apparently while that happened in my mind a span of 2 hours had occurred .
Cutting flash off a model and the knife slipping and entering my finger. Blood sprays about a metre and speckles my wall and i sit there and just stare at it thinking "ouch"
Also myself and my friend are training to be Blacksmiths. So we prefer traditional methods and are working on making some knives for ourselves. We cant find any tongues so we are using some pliers instead to grip the metal. I am hammering when the metal slips and spins rund to impact into my hand. Try to imagine a length of metal at around 600 degrees in heat impacting into your lower left index finger section. Its nearly healed up now (this was 2.5 weeks ago) thanks to my incredible regenerative abilities but heck did it hurt at the time. I dropped the metal, swore then picked it up and finished what i was doing before returning it to the fire. Then i saw to my injury.
rubiksnoob wrote: Fireworks and 40 hands, both individually and combined.
My recently ex roommate (moving cuz of promotion!) and his buddies asked me to tape their hands together for Edward 40Hands...hehe. That qualified as dumb. One ended up smashing his bottle while trying to take a leak, deciding to screw the game, as he couldn't get the tape off. Pretty sure he pissed himself. I sipped a Guinness and had a wonderful time with the game.
The trick to that game is to work on freeing your dominant hand so that you can do things like take a leak... so many try and fail because they wish to go at both of them at the same time.
Just remembered, there was also a time where I went to draw £50 from the cash machine I took my card out walked away without remembering the cash and only realised the next morning, needless to say I was gutted.
There was also a time where I bought a bottle of whisky from the local supermarket, I had to show my ID for approval, when I gave the lady the bottle to remove the anti opening lock on the lid to prevent theft, she typed in the approval process on the self checkout I was using then handed me back the bottle without taking the bottle lock, because I was distracted I just dumped it in the shopping bag without looking and carried on with my other items. When I got home I took the bottle out and noticed the protector was still on and thought to myself "well I'm not taking it back, they might think I've stolen it with the lock on and everything, not sure whether I still had the receipt or not either," So I just said to myself "feth it" and decided to do a bit of DIY on the bottle protector with a hammer. As a result, I ended up with about three shards of glass sticking out of my hand and bottles worth of wasted whisky on the floor. I should have just checked my pockets for the receipt and took it back.
During the Japan/Korea world cup I was living in a small town in rural Japan. My mate was living in the next town over, which was even smaller. Quite literally everyone knew who we were, as we were the only two foreign guys for miles around...
So, after watching England win one of the group games in his apartment (Denmark, maybe? Poland?) we started firing fireworks at each other. Whilst still in his apartment.
Later, we went out onto the main street and started doing old-fashioned duelling with them. Back-to-back, 10 paces, etc...
Obviously, this resulted in all of the locals shouting out of their windows at us, knowing who we were, etc...
I still own the T-shirt I was wearing. It has numerous burn holes in it, and we had to spend a long time cleaning the burn marks off of the walls in his apartment.
It is miraculous that we neither started a serious fire nor seriously injured one another.
Dumbest thing I have ever done. Also one of the most fun. Not to be repeated though.
Screwing around with a frag and tried to "John Wayne" the pin off. I say five years ago. So walking around still with the very front two top teeth chipped and always decline to have the chipped teeth smooth over. To remind me every morning not to do "stupid"
Oh dear, narrowing this down is going to be difficult, so I'll settle for my favourite story of youthful mischief.
When I was about 15 there were road works being done on the central road of the suburb I have lived in my entire life, almost every car drives through this road, as it leads onto the main road towards the city centre and other key parts.
Now, my best friend and I thought ourselves to be the good little pranksters, so we decided to rearrange all the barriers and traffic cones to close off the entire road at all junctions, rather than just a few little areas that needed potholes ect. filled.
This was possibly the greatest idea we'd ever had until we realised the next morning that my Dad couldn't drive us to school early and we held up half the year waiting for us to get there for the school trip that we'd payed a fair bit of money for and quite wanted to go on. No one would talk to us all day, being late we ended up hitting the bad motorway traffic and we ended up losing about 2 and a half hours of the day, losing all free time outside of the planned lectures of the day.
What was looking to be a great day, ended awfully, all for the sake of a badly thought out prank.
KingCracker wrote:Yea it's funny how you always feel that in the chest eh? Growing up a buddy of mine lived on a large dairy farm surrounded by electric fences. Well one day we were playing a game of football and I was open. His uncle tossed the ball high, I ran after it, caught it and then connected with one of those fences. From my momentum I flipped over the wire and was caught by my stomach and left dangling over this electrified wire zapping the gak out of me until I finally flopped off
For my, i think 11th birthday, my mum and dad took me and some friend to the Ballarat Wildlife Park, it's an open range reserve with non-deadly native animals that you can hand feed and whatnot. Anyway they don't really have fences or anything just the occational small electricfied wire setup to keep the Roos or Emus from going where they're not supposed to. Well my dad wasn't watching where he was going took one of these electric wires to the shin. He starts hopping about swearing and then trips over it again landing on it arse first. He said it felt like someone drove a dirtbike straight up his rear.
Mr Nobody wrote:A more recent one was I was waiting for a ride from my father when a stranger came up in the exact same car model I was waiting for. I jumped in and looked over at very confused old man and a dog. I promptly apologized, dashed out of the car and saw my father waiting a few cars down, laughing. The Ford Flex has become very popular apparently.
I did something similar to this. I had dashed into a shop to get something while my mum waited in the car. I come out a minute later to find a strange man sitting in the drivers seat asking me what i thought i was doing getting into his car. It was most embarressing. Turns out i need to be about 4 cars over to my right.
playing hockey as a teen before making a cup, after one shot sans the cup, I called a time out to finish it and returned...
Never wore a helmet (and I was the goalie) or a mask, obscured my vision...
The dumbest thing I've ever done in my entire life was when I was about 16, I just got my G1 (in Canada, it's the first level of license, all that's needed is a written exam with zero hands-on experience needed). I was driving with a family member who had their full license (as per the conditions of a G1) and when I went to go park in my driveway, I went in way too fast and smashed into my garage door. Not THAT hard, I managed to slow down significantly, but the garage door cracked. No damage to the car, and my passenger was a little shaken up. In about an hour the entire planet knew I did it and I was a laughing-stock for that entire year probably lol.
I had to split the cost with my parents to replace it as a punishment for reckless driving, but now you can be damn sure with almost 10 years of driving experience under my belt now I go into the driveway nice and sloooowly.
Alfndrate wrote: The trick to that game is to work on freeing your dominant hand so that you can do things like take a leak... so many try and fail because they wish to go at both of them at the same time.
You could dedicate an entire thread to stupid stories relating to just 40 hands.
Alfndrate wrote: The trick to that game is to work on freeing your dominant hand so that you can do things like take a leak... so many try and fail because they wish to go at both of them at the same time.
You could dedicate an entire thread to stupid stories relating to just 40 hands.
Except we'd never have to go past your post here .
Alfndrate wrote: The trick to that game is to work on freeing your dominant hand so that you can do things like take a leak... so many try and fail because they wish to go at both of them at the same time.
You could dedicate an entire thread to stupid stories relating to just 40 hands.
Except we'd never have to go past your post here .
Not me, but at a party a while back one of my freinds who was already slightly drunk was coerced into playing "Edward Absinthe-Hands", and you can probably imagine what this involved.
Considering that this guy is just over 5'4", and was using neat absinthe, it was rather stupid.
Sir Samuel Buca wrote: Oh dear, narrowing this down is going to be difficult, so I'll settle for my favourite story of youthful mischief.
When I was about 15 there were road works being done on the central road of the suburb I have lived in my entire life, almost every car drives through this road, as it leads onto the main road towards the city centre and other key parts.
Now, my best friend and I thought ourselves to be the good little pranksters, so we decided to rearrange all the barriers and traffic cones to close off the entire road at all junctions, rather than just a few little areas that needed potholes ect. filled.
This was possibly the greatest idea we'd ever had until we realised the next morning that my Dad couldn't drive us to school early and we held up half the year waiting for us to get there for the school trip that we'd payed a fair bit of money for and quite wanted to go on. No one would talk to us all day, being late we ended up hitting the bad motorway traffic and we ended up losing about 2 and a half hours of the day, losing all free time outside of the planned lectures of the day.
What was looking to be a great day, ended awfully, all for the sake of a badly thought out prank.
Thanks for the PM, i'd never heard of that before. Now i've got something i can sucker my drunken friends into playing Normally we end up playing rock, paper, scissors, slap. And I always end up losing.
Stabbed myself with a pencil once, left about an inch deep hole in my hand- didn't draw a drop of blood somehow
being young and foolish i kicked a political yard sign once, got cought, blamed a friend for it- had to give im a twenty to get him to listen to an apology.
*skims over pirate phase briefly*
OOH! gave myself a concussion while running backwards once, slammed right into a light post i didnt see. Bloody head was sore for a week.
(Please note that the statement in the Wiki that striking them with a hammer does not work, is in contradiction to my experience.)
Step two: Break torpedo into small pieces
Step three: Hit small piece with hammer
Result: Explosion sends hammer at about Mach 3 toward my head and barely misses me, deafening me for a couple of hours.
Life Lesson Learned from incredibly stupid and dangerous experiment. Dont steal explosive crap and mess around with it.
Seriously, kids are much safer staying inside and trolling the internet than hanging around rail yards, abandoned coal mines and scrap yards just looking for trouble to get into.
I must add that this is just the stupidist thing that comes to mind, it probably is not the stupidist thing ever, her name was Tracy.
Railway dets (we just call them that, here - short for "detonators" ) are seriously bad news - but a way for society to cull the terminally stupid before they breed, usually.
You occasionally hear about a local teen who had decided that hitting one with a hammer was a good idea. Not that these local teens are what anyone would consider "bright" to start with.
Sometimes they survive (their mates, however usually aren't as lucky). Blind, deaf and often with fingers missing. These ones learn their lesson.
The dead ones can't be taught, but CAN serve as a warning.
I was working in an apartment building as an on-site supervisor (so the tenants would have someone to handle things in an emergency). Now, there's a walkway that runs the entire length of the second floor. My next door neighbor, incidentally, has an interior door to his apartment that opens up into the pizza parlor that shares the bottom floor with our apartments. (He was the owner of the restaurant.)
So one night, as I'm dozing off (in my boxers) I hear a huge crashing sound. Grumbling, I start to get up, thinking that some college student, drunk off their fanny, has fallen over the railing on the walkway. I slip on a pair of jeans and a hoodie to investigate, when I hear the wife of the restaurant owner scream "Get out! I'm calling the cops!"
So I grab the nearest weapon to hand (a home-made machete an eccentric older relative made from a leaf spring) and run outside, since I kind of feel like I have to. (Also figuring that by the time I get there, we'll outnumber any burglar 3 to 1, so he'll probably just run.)
What I did NOT anticipate or think about was the fact that the guy who owned the building as a whole was a lieutenant in the police force, so the cops were extra-quick to respond. Response time was about 27 seconds. So the cop who comes flying into the parking lot makes it in just in time to see me racing up from around the side of the building, in a hoodie and wielding a machete.
Sooooooo, some time later, the wife of the pizza shop owner comes out to assure the cops that I was not the burglar, and would probably appreciate being unhandcuffed and allowed to put a real shirt on. (It was the middle of February, naturally.)
That's the dumbest thing I've ever done, probably.
chromedog wrote: Railway dets (we just call them that, here - short for "detonators" ) are seriously bad news - but a way for society to cull the terminally stupid before they breed, usually.
You occasionally hear about a local teen who had decided that hitting one with a hammer was a good idea. Not that these local teens are what anyone would consider "bright" to start with.
Sometimes they survive (their mates, however usually aren't as lucky). Blind, deaf and often with fingers missing. These ones learn their lesson.
The dead ones can't be taught, but CAN serve as a warning.
LOL, I was plenty bright, even scored so high on the college entry exam I was investigated for possible cheating. I just took mostly trade classes like auto shop and welding but had super high scores in sciences and history, etc from my own readings.
Anyway, Not being bright isnt the problem, being bright, bored and unsupervised is what leads to problems. I did have sense enough to crumble off just a small amount. I mean really small piece, I can see someone getting killed for sure if they hit an intact one.
It definitely cured me for messing around with ANY kind of explosive. That was one area of trouble that I never entered into again. It is probably just as well because I earned a minor in chemisty in college but was never faintly tempted to make any kind of explosive fireworks from so many things you can buy at the hardware or grocery store.
I was behind and to the right of the guy that fired a AT4 into a mudhut.......couldn't move for five minutes....then the feeling started coming back to my body...
But, really, probably crashing my first car, rolling it over in the middle of the road, totaling it, putting 2 mates in hospital and causing a 5 mile traffic jam was pretty dumb
Riding down a steep hill in my early teens because I'm really a dog and love the wind in my face. After the fifth time doing so (not the dumbest part yet) I managed to almost crash my bike into a car that was going along the road that intersected the bottom of said hill. ...I then crashed into the railing at the edge of the road and flipped myself into the water. Oh, yes, this was next to the docks ...and I'm a terrible swimmer. ...And it was the bit of the docks where they seemed to dump all the old boats/wrecks.
...Luckily I can be oddly competent when my level of stupidity reaches a certain level, so didn't drown. The driver did slap me when I climbed back up though. ...And there was the awkward question of how I managed to get myself soaked when I came home. I think they put it down to "boys will be boys". =P
LOL, I was plenty bright, even scored so high on the college entry exam I was investigated for possible cheating. I just took mostly trade classes like auto shop and welding but had super high scores in sciences and history, etc from my own readings.
Anyway, Not being bright isnt the problem, being bright, bored and unsupervised is what leads to problems. I did have sense enough to crumble off just a small amount. I mean really small piece, I can see someone getting killed for sure if they hit an intact one.
It definitely cured me for messing around with ANY kind of explosive. That was one area of trouble that I never entered into again. It is probably just as well because I earned a minor in chemisty in college but was never faintly tempted to make any kind of explosive fireworks from so many things you can buy at the hardware or grocery store.
With ours, you CAN'T just "break off a small part" - they are encased.
Using enough force to get the casing off WILL have it go off in your face.
They will go off if you throw them at a wall.
They will go off if you jump on them.
They are designed to go off when trains go over them (they are a warning device for track maintenance crews, usually deployed in pairs).
Yours seem easier to get at the juicy bits. We like our people to work harder for the surprise. Gives them more time to wonder if it's really a good idea.
KalashnikovMarine wrote: Can someone explain the function of the railroad torpedos/dets? What purpose do they serve?
They are a warning device for trains. Basically they attach to the rail and when the train runs over them they explode very loudly. This is a signal for the train to stop or slow down because of an emergency.
The ones chromedog is talking about are very different than the ones in the USA apparently. The ones in the USA were wrapped in cardboard and had a lead strap that attached it to the railroad track.
They have not been used by railroads in the USA for a very, very long time. Modern locomotives used in the USA are sound proofed to a high degree and so the warning explosion would not be heard.
Attempting to jump off a 15-20ft cliff on skis. Only to land and get chucked out of my skis because of shoddy bindings, fall forward, judo roll, smash my shoulder into an uncovered rock, dislocating it, and trapping my poll between my arm and ribs. Breaking a rib, puncturing my lung.
After a day in hospital I was urinating blood, found out I had a bruised liver and torn kidney. Spent 2 weeks in hospital and earned myself a nice $35000 CAD hospital bill, and out of work for 3 months.
Eldercaveman wrote: Attempting to jump off a 15-20ft cliff on skis. Only to land and get chucked out of my skis because of shoddy bindings, fall forward, judo roll, smash my shoulder into an uncovered rock, dislocating it, and trapping my poll between my arm and ribs. Breaking a rib, puncturing my lung.
After a day in hospital I was urinating blood, found out I had a bruised liver and torn kidney. Spent 2 weeks in hospital and earned myself a nice $35000 CAD hospital bill, and out of work for 3 months.
Damn that is a harsh judgement the universe laid down on you. I have done many, many dumber things than that and never suffered such a horrific injury.
Eldercaveman wrote: Attempting to jump off a 15-20ft cliff on skis. Only to land and get chucked out of my skis because of shoddy bindings, fall forward, judo roll, smash my shoulder into an uncovered rock, dislocating it, and trapping my poll between my arm and ribs. Breaking a rib, puncturing my lung.
After a day in hospital I was urinating blood, found out I had a bruised liver and torn kidney. Spent 2 weeks in hospital and earned myself a nice $35000 CAD hospital bill, and out of work for 3 months.
Damn that is a harsh judgement the universe laid down on you. I have done many, many dumber things than that and never suffered such a horrific injury.
Worst thing was I nailed the jump, and my bindings just proceeded to reject me. Lesson learnt, Marker Bindings bought.
Following up on Eldercaveman's jump. One time on a float trip down the Current River in Missouri I jumped off a bluff about 35-40 feet into one of the many springs that feed the river.
It was in the middle of the summer and the spring water was extremely cold, I didnt check it ahead of time. The thermal shock caused me to completely cramp up and I nearly drowned. I really struggled to get to the bank which was not all that far away.
Just shows that even when you arent doing something just tremendously stupid its not that hard to kill yourself if the circumstances are right.
JWhex wrote: Following up on Eldercaveman's jump. One time on a float trip down the Current River in Missouri I jumped off a bluff about 35-40 feet into one of the many springs that feed the river.
It was in the middle of the summer and the spring water was extremely cold, I didnt check it ahead of time. The thermal shock caused me to completely cramp up and I nearly drowned. I really struggled to get to the bank which was not all that far away.
Just shows that even when you arent doing something just tremendously stupid its not that hard to kill yourself if the circumstances are right.
Yeah cold water can send you into shock really quickly, and then you are screwed.
The worst thing about surviving my jump, I have yet to find anything (since then) that gets my adrenaline rushing, or makes me genuinely scared. Which I am sure will lead to more dumb things to come. I did the Nevis Bungy jump recently, and found it distinctly ordinary.
Eldercaveman wrote: Yeah cold water can send you into shock really quickly, and then you are screwed.
The worst thing about surviving my jump, I have yet to find anything (since then) that gets my adrenaline rushing, or makes me genuinely scared. Which I am sure will lead to more dumb things to come. I did the Nevis Bungy jump recently, and found it distinctly ordinary.
Did you make a pact with Slaanesh while in hospital, so now you need more and more stimulation?
Eldercaveman wrote: Yeah cold water can send you into shock really quickly, and then you are screwed.
The worst thing about surviving my jump, I have yet to find anything (since then) that gets my adrenaline rushing, or makes me genuinely scared. Which I am sure will lead to more dumb things to come. I did the Nevis Bungy jump recently, and found it distinctly ordinary.
Did you make a pact with Slaanesh while in hospital, so now you need more and more stimulation?
Maybe I did without realising, it was pre-40k days (played when I was like 12, kind of) for me though. All though when I returned to the UK from Canada, I did have a strange to get my 10 year old 40k models out the attic, maybe I had already been tainted....
I was at a friends house when I was young, and I shot a hornets nest with a paintball gun and got stung a bunch, then trying to run away, I jumped into an old nasty rain drain off, and got murky crud all over me that stunk for days. I also lost the paintball gun in the water. Needless to say, not a fun day.
Eldercaveman wrote: Also kind of feel like this needs to be posted in this thread....
Haha wow. Who'd have thought those duds at Metro could come up with such a good add.
Check out the parodies of it on youtube, they're pretty cool as well. So is the Dumb ways to Die game. You'll be singing it for days now.... muahahahaa
On that one night, I visited an old friend of mine and somehow we got into smoking pot. After a while I got very hungry and went to a small store around the corner. I picked up a lot of funky stuff and stashed it under my arms and in the front pockets of my jacket. I went to the checkout and dropped a whole pile of sweets onto the conveyor belt. The operator, a shy young miss, scanned the stuff and looked at me. “Is that all?” She asked a little ironically and I said “That’s all, thank you.” Smiling because of all the rubbish I just bought and because I probably looked like I felt, completely stoned. I paid, packed my stuff back up and went back to my friend’s apartment. I entered the floor, looking at myself in the mirror to see how bad it was. It was bad, eyes red like rubies. Then I saw it. A supersize 500gr chocolate bar, several strawberry poles and a12 pack of snickers peeking out of my front pockets…
Please don't bypass the language filter. Thanks Reds8n
Oh i agree Kalash. It looks like tons of fun. And hey, if you do it and it gets you killed... well at least you went out flying through the air like a boss and dressed like a sugar glider. What's not to love.
I used to cut keys and mix paint for a living during my undergrad years. After one of my earlier attempts to cut a set of keys, I noticed some swarf on the bitting (teeth), which I proceeded to brush away with my fingers. I was pulling spiral pieces of razor sharp metal out of my finger tips for the next week.
Lesson learned: use a brush to clean up metal filings, not your fingers. Brushes don't bleed.
Flarack wrote: On that one night, I visited an old friend of mine and somehow we got into smoking pot.
Please don't bypass the language filter. Thanks Reds8n
You know that could be the opening line to a million "dumbest thing I ever did stories".
Good start by the way, I was hoping for something better though, you need to work on your follow through.
Flarack wrote: On that one night, I visited an old friend of mine and somehow we got into smoking pot.
Please don't bypass the language filter. Thanks Reds8n
You know that could be the opening line to a million "dumbest thing I ever did stories".
Good start by the way, I was hoping for something better though, you need to work on your follow through.
While the list of daft things I've done is long and glorious, one of my favourites goes like this.
I was flying to Australia for work,
I arrive at immigrations in Perth after a long day followed by a long flight.
The immigration officer asks me "do you have a criminal record?"
I reply "I didn't know I still needed one..."
marv335 wrote: While the list of daft things I've done is long and glorious, one of my favourites goes like this.
I was flying to Australia for work,
I arrive at immigrations in Perth after a long day followed by a long flight.
The immigration officer asks me "do you have a criminal record?"
I reply "I didn't know I still needed one..."
marv335 wrote: While the list of daft things I've done is long and glorious, one of my favourites goes like this.
I was flying to Australia for work,
I arrive at immigrations in Perth after a long day followed by a long flight.
The immigration officer asks me "do you have a criminal record?"
I reply "I didn't know I still needed one..."
KalashnikovMarine wrote: Yesh... well I almost did something. I almost signed up with a merchant sailing crew as an apprentice.
In other news my "stupidest thing ever" that I'd like to do?
This:
Just once. I don't care if it kills me.
I think this would be cool to try as the last thing on your bucket list. I honestly think the only reason he wears a helmet is for aerodynamics (its open face so dunno really) and primarily to hold the cameras lol, if he hit anything at the speeds he is going it would be the curtain call...
Like most people, I've got a lot of things I could add to this thread, but I'll just pick two.
When I was a kid we used to skateboard around our little port town. There are some cliffs there, and there's a tarmacadam path that goes down the side of the cliffs, ending at a footpath onto the port approach road that lorries thunder down all day. The turn onto the footpath is nearly ninety degrees, and it had a metal barrier on it. The tarmacadam path is rough, with only an area about 4-5 feet wide that will take a skateboard on it, right next to the metal hand rail. The rest is all torn up because of subsidence.
So of course, we decided to skate down it. At first, a quarter of the way, then half. After we'd survived that a fair few times (at breakneck speeds) I decided to do the whole thing. So I'm rocketing down towards a metal barrier with trucks on the other side, totally focused on staying steady on the thin strip of tarmac, when I hit a small wedge shaped imperfection. Somehow the board stops dead and I sail through the air in a beautiful ballistic arc. I had loads of time to think about how I was going to land and how much it was going to hurt. I skidded along on my hands leaving some nice bloody smears and ragged bits of skin, and then hit the ground hip first tearing a nice chunk out of it, before rolling and bouncing to the path at the bottom. Fun! Was hard to get on a board again after that.
The second one involved the cliffs again, but this time much further out in the countryside. The clifftops are ringed by electric fences to keep the cattle in, which I knew. I was climbing up the side, and heaved myself over the top, being mindful of the fence. Unfortunately, there was a big smelly maggoty cow pat in front of my face when I came up, and I instinctively reared away from it. Head, meet electric fence. Blacked out, fell forward face first into the cow pat. Delicious.
This one was pretty dumb (and kind of embarrassing even for an internet) but I'm glad I did it in a way.
It happened yesterday, I was walking home from the cinemas and in the car park near a bunch of stairs where there were a bunch of people my age about five of them and as I went past they made snide comments towards me, (I knew they were going to say something.) now usually I just went about my business and ignored it but I always felt like a coward afterwards, so this time I bit the bullet turned around took my coat off and threw it to the ground,
I then basically stormed towards the biggest guy there who was ripped like a freight train knowing this guy would probably beat the hell out of me and squared up to him, demanding to know exactly what he had just said about me, now this was really dumb because I knew this guy could beat me easily but I was sick of being pushed around my whole life with the adrenaline pumping I didn't feel scared anymore it was really weird.
It basically ended up with him pinning me down by the throat, he was bigger than me and had muscles like zeus so I couldn't do anything, he then said if I didn't back of he would hit me I then basically just said: "If your going to do it then stop talking about and do it" I must have said this five times at least but he still wouldn't hit me even though I was egging him on,
Eventually after I egged him on a bit and jabbed him in the stomach a few times, he strangely let go and it sort of turned into an argument with me asking them what gives them the right to make people feel bad about themselves by openly insulting them as they walk past? I didn't get any decent answers as expected, one of them started BS-ing about me having the same trainers as someone they know but I had heard insults so I was not convinced, one of the girls there had the decency to ask me if I was alright so I guess they were a mixed bunch one of the others just laughed like a hyena.
Eventually he just asked if I was going to go home again, by this time the adrenaline had worn off and I realised I was in way over my head, I just told him if he backed off I would. In the end he just put some distance between us both going to where he was stood originally and I walked on home.
It probably seems monumentally stupid to anyone reading this but I was actually proud of myself even though I pretty much lost, in the worst of it with the neck pinning I was pretty much daring him to hit me, I didn't feel afraid even though I knew this guy could destroy me if he wanted to. The fact that I stood up to myself was a victory for me, kind of like I had proved to myself that I was not a coward. My whole life I had put up with stuff like that and I had just had enough.
I feel pretty stupid now for doing it, but I would have felt worse about myself I had just walked away, I'm glad I at least attempted to make my point, even though I walked into a fight knowing I was going to lose.
Anyone else ever felt like this or been in a similar situation?
Ardaric_Vaanes wrote: I then basically stormed towards the biggest guy there who was ripped like a freight train knowing this guy would probably beat the hell out of me and squared up to him, demanding to know exactly what he had just said about me, now this was really dumb because I knew this guy could beat me easily but I was sick of being pushed around my whole life with the adrenaline pumping I didn't feel scared anymore it was really weird.
It probably seems monumentally stupid to anyone reading this but I was actually proud of myself even though I pretty much lost, in the worst of it with the neck pinning I was pretty much daring him to hit me, I didn't feel afraid even though I knew this guy could destroy me if he wanted to. The fact that I stood up to myself was a victory for me, kind of like I had proved to myself that I was not a coward. My whole life I had put up with stuff like that and I had just had enough.
I feel pretty stupid now for doing it, but I would have felt worse about myself I had just walked away, I'm glad I at least attempted to make my point, even though I walked into a fight knowing I was going to lose.
Anyone else ever felt like this or been in a similar situation.
I wouldn't call this stupid, save for the whole "go on, hit me" thing. The rest of it is just you finally getting fed up of being a doormat, and making a point by not taking it any more, despite the fact that you weren't going to win. To be honest, it'd be more stupid to me if you stood up against someone who you could take in a fight.
marv335 wrote: While the list of daft things I've done is long and glorious, one of my favourites goes like this.
I was flying to Australia for work,
I arrive at immigrations in Perth after a long day followed by a long flight.
The immigration officer asks me "do you have a criminal record?"
I reply "I didn't know I still needed one..."
Dunno if this is the dumbest thing I've ever done, but it's up there:
After one mortar attack there was an unexploded 120 mm mortar that some grunts were poking with a stick. We stopped to watch them thinking how stupid they were, yet here we were, still well within the blast radius watching these guys poke at an unexploded mortar (and not stopping them). I guess we had become a bit desensitized to things then, but thinking back, it was still pretty fething stupid to do. To misquote Obi-Wan, "Who's the more foolish? The fool, or the fool who watches him?"
Got chilli sauce squirted in my face once. Luckily for me my glasses took the brunt of the sauce that went near my eyes. Some still got in, but it could have been much worse.
Chilli sauce in the eyes. Hurts likes the dickens.
during my metal shop class in college I lost my piece in a vat of oil. I then tried stupidly putting both arms in the vat shoulder deep to find my piece. I then tried to walk close to an open 1500 degrees hardening oven while my arms were covered in oil.
Another example would be not bringing any mosquito repellent while in the middle of the woods during mosquito season.
Multiple incidents involving small airplanes, nearby bad weather, and crosswinds well above what I should have been flying in. Thankfully I figured that one out before I actually crashed a plane.
Using a hot Piece of iron near a open spray can. Didnt explode fortunately.
Played with a knife while sitting outside and having a beer with my friends, ist a usual Thing 'round here, playing with knifes I mean.
I was throwing it up and catching the handle. Not a big deal. Then I threw it up one more time and a friend tapped my shoulder. I turned around and forgot about the knife. A second later I had a 30 cm Long and 2 cm deep cut down my arm and blood everywhere. Luckily it happened near the Hospital.
So me and my friends try to sneak into Black Swan, which was a 16 movie. I was about 14 at the time, and I was trying to get in with my friends, all of whom were at a later stage of puberty than me. They were all fairly large boys, height and muscle wise, while I was (and still am) short and scrawny.
So we go to the ticket person, and she's like ID please yadayadayada. One of my friends says that he's a tourist and he left identification in the hotel safe, really sorry and stuff, etc. He gets through. All of my friends pull the same stunt, leaving me outside. The ticket person there tells me that she knows I'm not over 16 and I can't get into the movie. Meanwhile, my friends are pissing themselves with laughter. I spend the next two hours or so in the video game store playing on the demo xbox, eating overpriced popcorn by myself.
Jihadin wrote: Did this once....once only.....sober to....
Spoiler:
That used to be my party trick.
I can do the whole thing, including spinning the blade around the back of my hand.
I've only had one "oops" moment.
I managed to staple my hand to a tabletop with a FN FAL bayonet during basic training.
Looked cool doing it though...
There would be a problem with watching Mila Kunis going down on Natalie Portman? O.o then again, that's the only part of the movie I've seen. May not show the actual act, but they show low enough to show that Natalie shaves and wasn't wearing any undies while Mila was doing a face plant.
We are straddling the line between what is and isn't acceptable on a family-friendly forum at the moment; I'd advise exhibiting caution in the next few posts.
Stepped out behind cover during a fire fight and lite a cigarette up...gave the bird and move back under cover...all calm like and relax....SMAJ received his 500 push ups within four days after the incident....not all at once but paid...over time of four days..
Avatar 720 wrote: We are straddling the line between what is and isn't acceptable on a family-friendly forum at the moment; I'd advise exhibiting caution in the next few posts.
I think it was gently pushing the envelope enough to not tear through it.
Me and my mates were out one night (completely off our tits I might add) and we got to the high street (middle of town), was about 2 in the morning, we managed to get all the rubbish bins into the middle of the road spaced out a few meters ahead of each other, for about a kilometer, we also managed to throw down three huge letter boxes onto the middle of the road, and also chuck and huge ReMax sign on top of a shops roof, WITH IT STANDING! Then egged a few houses and climbed on top of some cars letting the alarms off. Then get chased for about 3 hours from like 20 police.
That leads into the other part, me and twin brother got split from the main group by the police, we then decided to tare down some 'House for Sale' signs on some fences in a four way intersection, when a cop car saw us, went "WOP WOP" and the big overhead light shined on us, we then bolted over a fence and layed flat on our bellies as the patrol car went slowly past us (they were only 2 meters away!)
Poppa....I was really hoping for your brother to get arrested and then you a couple mins after at a different location....can only imagine the description going back and forth on the net....
Yea, would have made for a better story but I guess we were just to sneaky ningas that night and the possibility of us getting arrested was just impossible.
He had the better night though... after all that he lost his V-card about an hour later.
JWhex wrote: Following up on Eldercaveman's jump. One time on a float trip down the Current River in Missouri I jumped off a bluff about 35-40 feet into one of the many springs that feed the river.
It was in the middle of the summer and the spring water was extremely cold, I didnt check it ahead of time. The thermal shock caused me to completely cramp up and I nearly drowned. I really struggled to get to the bank which was not all that far away.
Just shows that even when you arent doing something just tremendously stupid its not that hard to kill yourself if the circumstances are right.
Hey, I've been down the Current River many times in HS. It can be cold water.
Poppabear wrote:Me and my mates were out one night (completely off our tits I might add) and we got to the high street (middle of town), was about 2 in the morning, we managed to get all the rubbish bins into the middle of the road spaced out a few meters ahead of each other, for about a kilometer, we also managed to throw down three huge letter boxes onto the middle of the road, and also chuck and huge ReMax sign on top of a shops roof, WITH IT STANDING! Then egged a few houses and climbed on top of some cars letting the alarms off. Then get chased for about 3 hours from like 20 police.
That leads into the other part, me and twin brother got split from the main group by the police, we then decided to tare down some 'House for Sale' signs on some fences in a four way intersection, when a cop car saw us, went "WOP WOP" and the big overhead light shined on us, we then bolted over a fence and layed flat on our bellies as the patrol car went slowly past us (they were only 2 meters away!)
