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Well, what can I say. In general, I find wimmins to be highly confusing, running hot and cold, and impossible to read. Just as I was getting to grips with this (accepting a problem being the first step to solving it) life decides to twist my melon a bit more.

Enter the frankly delectable Giada. 5'3" of curly haird, perfectly formed Italian gorgeousness. First met her in February, where we wound up hopping on the good foot and doing the bad thing the night before I got sacked from my job (talk about wishing you'd never got out of bed!). Her flat was literally behind where I worked, so having been given my marching orders, I called her, only to discover she had fallen asleep.

So a few months pass by, where we lose contact, until a few weeks ago, when we bumped into each other again. As you might be able to tell, she is right up my street, and I would like considerably more than a just a little how's your father when the itch needs scratching. But she says she just wants me as a friend, which is cool (at the age of 29, I'm good with controlling feelings). And her is where the confusion hits.

Perhaps it's just my British sensibilities, but whenever we are out together, she is very close and kissy, and leaps at the chance to come out for a drink with me. Friends have noticed that whilst I'm doing my rounds (lots of friends, not much drinking time) she keeps on looking at me with an approving expression.

Now this could all be down to her being Italian, and me being British. We Brits are normally pretty reserved when it comes to friendship shows of affection, usually restricting it to a hug at the end of the night. But I, and nobody I know, can bloody tell. Even her British Girly Friends have implied there is something going on between us.

GAH! Why can't wimmins come with instructions for us Men to ignore except when we've managed to burn the house down, just like all our other diversions?

You guys hug people? That's pretty gay bro.

Maybe friends mean something deiiferent in italy?
if it does then im moving to italy.

Orkeosaurus wrote:You guys hug people? That's pretty gay bro.

Says the minnesota red neck.

Mad, talk to her again she might not even know shes doing it. and do it before things start to get weird.

Weird I can cope with. It's just not being able to tell if she's just playing hard to get.

It's a bit like playing Warhammer, when someone mentions a rule from a Foreign Rulebook you can't find the English version of.

Perhaps your lady friend views your relationship in a potential " friends with benifits" manner.
I've been involved in several of these types of situations,in which the ladies involved all were very atentive,enjoyed going out with me and my friends for drinks and such,and on many nights " stayed over" at my place.
However,they didn't wish to be 'tied down" to a single "relationship" so I was always a "friend",which suited me just fine.
Maybe your "friend" is of the same sort of view point,wanting to enjoy time with you,but not wanting to be "tied down".

She is Italian, having boffed three of them (if you include a 9 year relationship with a Tasmanian/Sicilian hybrid...), I can tell you they are more open to the idea of 'fethbuddies' than we Brits. Med-types are generally quite alot more liberated with the idea of open relationships and non-committal sex.

Given that, she may be waiting for you to get off your arse and go win her with alittle proper romance. Not just getting pished and screwing, but actual dates. Ask her out to dinner someplace posh.

Also possibly drop all the comedy British expressions you keep inserting (ooh-er missus!) into every sentence...

Fair point about the date thing. She is Veggie, so need to pick somewhere suitable. Perhaps Indian Cuisine, given it's typical Vegetarian leaning.

Either that or perhaps take her up That London for a meal in a Veggie restaurant. Has just been her Birthday too, so can attach it to that. Ish.

And I will not drop my expressions! THE WALKING CARRY ON FILM MARCHES EVER ONWARD! (kyah kyah kyah!)

Mad Doc Grotsnik wrote:Weird I can cope with. It's just not being able to tell if she's just playing hard to get.

She probably doesnt know shes doing it. for her it might be normal, (showing approval of a friends actions, and loyalty to a friend IS normal ).
But talk with her and tell her the signals your getting. Tell her what shes doing, and what you think it means. key word here Doc is TALK. without it your just gonna go to a weird not nice place inside your own head.

Heym, fethbuddies. What's not to like?

Being 29 and seriously wanting to settle down?

You can only put it about so much before you crave something permanent.

I am 33 and I too am sick of the whole feth buddy thing. The nights of one night stands and drunken debauchery is way behind me.

As has been said previously MDG you must let her know what kind of signals/vibes she is putting out. It's a lot easier to tell someone close to your age, assuming she is in her late 20's as well (or early 30's) what you perceive than to tell it to someone barely out of HS who's intent would, most likely, be just friends with benefits.

GIrly in question just turned 24, so it's a pretty good age match in my book.

Mad Doc Grotsnik wrote:Being 29 and seriously wanting to settle down?

You can only put it about so much before you crave something permanent.

I wonder at times why that 29-30 seem to be the age when most men begin to think in those terms,I know for myself,prior to turning 30 the idea (even if I thought I wanted,hence two failed mariges before turning 29) of a permanent relationship was abhorent to me,I just couldn't seem to settle on "one girl",and the whole concept of "this one woman...and only this one woman FOREVER" would send me running.
However,at 30 I seemed to be a bit more at peace with the concept,many say maturity,but in honesty I didn't "mature" that much (at least in thought),so I still wonder why that age seems to be the age men start to settle down and look for that " one girl",do we feel we are running out of options? that soon the well might run dry?

Than she "might" be wanting more and just isn't showing it correctly.

I am 22 and an crotchety old man whos only wish is to die alone!

Which oddly enough is the one thing I wish to avoid.

Who wants to piss away the last years of their life in an old folks home, remembering dead friends and waiting for the Reaper to hurry up and claim you?

Not I sir!

Hmm. A few ideas bubbling away to put feelers out with Giada.

Mad Doc Grotsnik wrote:Which oddly enough is the one thing I wish to avoid.

Who wants to piss away the last years of their life in an old folks home, remembering dead friends and waiting for the Reaper to hurry up and claim you?

Not I sir!

Hmm. A few ideas bubbling away to put feelers out with Giada.

If you live to the point where you have to be in an old folks home, you iz mukin about and aint being orky enough!

Well with any luck I'll get things together with Giada, and die of a sex induced heart attack around the age of 35.

With a big silly grin on my face.

Gwar! wrote:I am 22 and an crotchety old man whos only wish is to die alone!

So you have been attending Frazzled classes of GOML (Get of My Lawn)?

Mad Doc Grotsnik wrote:She is Veggie

Aw man

Lord-Loss wrote:

Gwar! wrote:I am 22 and an crotchety old man whos only wish is to die alone!

So you have been attending Frazzled classes of GOML (Get of My Lawn)?

I have been co-teaching them for a while


Automatically Appended Next Post:

Flachzange wrote:

Mad Doc Grotsnik wrote:She is Veggie

Aw man

Must... Resist... Sausage... Joke...

Flachzange wrote:

Mad Doc Grotsnik wrote:She is Veggie

Aw man

She's an improvement on my Ex (never date a Vegan fellas).

Besides, she still likes her dairy.

Mad Doc Grotsnik wrote:Fair point about the date thing. She is Veggie, so need to pick somewhere suitable. Perhaps Indian Cuisine, given it's typical Vegetarian leaning.

Either that or perhaps take her up That London for a meal in a Veggie restaurant. Has just been her Birthday too, so can attach it to that. Ish.

No

Do not take a beautiful girl on a romantic dinner date...to a fething curry house. (why isn't there an ork facepalm emoticon!)
Whilst we all love a curry, it's not the food of romance, it's the food of windy farts all night long and breath the next morning like an abattoir . Take her to a proper restaurant and ply her with red wine and an expensive dessert. There are some proper posh veggie restaurants nowadays. Oh and eat veggie yourself, if you eat something strongly meaty in taste, she will not enjoy the kissy kissy.

Men seem to think that they're the only ones that don't know what they want. Odds are this girl simply isn't sure what she wants, but she knows she likes spending time with you. You can press the issue, and risk losing what you have, or you can keep going with the flow waiting for her to make up her mind.

I've been there, and it sucks when you meet somebody ideal, and they simply don't know what they want, but if you're looking to settle down, you're looking for somebody that feels the same way. And if this girl doesn't, she's not the one for you.

Doc, just fething ask her mate
Why piss about with mixed feelings for fething ages, when one simple and easy to say question sets it all out and lets you know where you stand.

I wish that I had Chuck Norris deodorant.
I wonder what would Shadowbrand do to a girl.Some things that even Dark Eldar wouldn't speak about.

JD21290 wrote:Doc, just fething ask her mate
Why piss about with mixed feelings for fething ages, when one simple and easy to say question sets it all out and lets you know where you stand.

We had 'the chat'. And that's stumped me.

She wants to be friends, cool, no problem. But then her behaviour suggests otherwise.

Bloody wimmins.

Ok, plan B
Take her out for the night, dont go getting pissed up if you can help it.
Just talk, once you start talking you might be able to point the conversation into the right direction and get her to say something, just dont push the convo. too much.

Men are never to understand women, never, IF it happens the world will cease to exist.

Glad you asked her, its the best way, I would still hedge your bets and try a meal or night out somewhere, at least if she thinks you are coming on too strong she will probably stop being friends and you will then know for certain what she was after!

Then again, My wife basically threw herself at me and I just ignored her, played footise under the table during a meal, and I moved away thinking she needed more room...her friends had to basically tell me she was interested...

So....Play dumb, ignore her, and she will be climbing the walls to get at you...or something like that.

Ignore this whole post...my wife is behind me laughing at mine and the other 'toy soldier' posts on this thread.


wimmin!!!!!