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So the GF is of course a crazy twilight fan. So I figured I would earn some brownie points and go see the new twilight movie with her.

HOLY CRAP.... I could have eaten a box of alphabets and something better twilight.

The only reason I DIDENT walk out was because I was with her... though it was still very tempting to try and sneak into another theatre and watch previews, or go out to the main lobby and stare at the wall until it was over... either of those would have been more interesting. Heck if I went out to the lobby I could have at least struck up a conversation with one of the workers.

I did however get a kick (and pointed it out to the GF) of the 4-5 people that DID get up and leave (no, they were not going tot he bafroom, they just left)

My brother keeps trying to tell me what a good film it is, how he expected it to be awful, but it really was good.

But I just can't bring myself to watch it, either of them, partially because of comments made by the Author (for similar reasons I've never read/seen Eragon) but mainly as I'm a Vampire the Masquerade fan.

I'm sure I'd go all Malkavian and burn down the movie theatre if I did attend.

They glow in Sunlight.... *shudders* I need to lie down just at the thought.

Reviews have not been good.

One reviewer said while it is obviously a young teen chick movie, the young teen chicks in the audience were less than gripped by it.

What did your GF think?

o she loved it and thought it was the best thing ever...

then i told her that if she thought this was good then she would just LOVE battle field earth.

of couse she has never seen it, so she dident get it... but i got a kick out of it

This is where TV glasses come in handy.

My theory on why ladies, mostly the younger ones, love Twilight:

After Harry Potter and Lord of the Rings, there was an established fanbase; almost a cult following for fantasy genres. Girls and women who are still kids at heart love to fall in love and watch heartthrobs like Legolas and Harry Potter to fill this need/want. As the fanbase grew older and became bored with waiting for more of the same; they latched onto the cheesiness of Twilight as it not only offered more eye candy but also catered to the type of drama they love.

Its not just us guys who watch and follow cheesy movies because of hot members of the other sex

I've never read/seen Eragon

The film is terrible, but the books are pretty good.

He takes ages to bring them out, but there good books.

Cane, my theory is that women are vainer and shallower than men.

Does that count as trolling?

If you have cojones or taste thisis not the movie to see. Tell wives/GFs to see it with their wives GF. Actually ask if they have a brain in their headsf first, but be ready to duck. She Who Must Be Obeyed laughs at her friends going to see it.

I can't understand why grown women would be interested except for the basic beefcake factor.

My neice and sister were crazy about these books and movies. I asked my neice "so it's a story about a 200 year old guy that goes to high school (talk about remedial) to pick up girls....under 18 girls?"

Her answer: "No! He looks 17!" (hard to put the indignant 13 year old sound in there)

Me: "Yeah but he's really like 200 years old, right?"

Her: She's over 18 now!

Me: Yeah but when it started she was 17 right?

Her: What's your point?!

Me: He's a pervert.
At which point I look at my sister and say something along the lines of poor parenting leads to welfare cases.

I managed 10 mins...and left, I was supposed to be making sure the 6 pre-teen girls i was with "didnt get into trouble" Yeah well screw you over protective parents. I walked out and sat in the bar until they appeared all stary eyed and spweing sweet nothing about the "sexiest vampire of all time". NEVER again will i agree to the "No mum let roze take us...shes cool, you'll embarrass us!" Yeah i was played by little girls....drop a compliment and bam...10 mins of pure tourture. I just couldn't watch it...appart from having No intrest in it the giggling and Overpowering smell of teenys allowed to wear perfum was killing my head. Thank the lord for cheap vodka at the Odeon!

Roze wrote:I managed 10 mins...and left, I was supposed to be making sure the 6 pre-teen girls i was with "didnt get into trouble" Yeah well screw you over protective parents. I walked out and sat in the bar until they appeared all stary eyed and spweing sweet nothing about the "sexiest vampire of all time". NEVER again will i agree to the "No mum let roze take us...shes cool, you'll embarrass us!" Yeah i was played by little girls....drop a compliment and bam...10 mins of pure tourture. I just couldn't watch it...appart from having No intrest in it the giggling and Overpowering smell of teenys allowed to wear perfum was killing my head. Thank the lord for cheap vodka at the Odeon!

You're a brave lady to even make 10 minutes of that garbage. I think it would take me being insanely drunk to even agree to see it.
That said, if my wife pouted enough, I'd "man up" and go see it.... I'm a sucker for a pouty wife.

Oh god, don't even talk to me about Twilight. The Girl I have to sit next to in form time at the house of horros (school) is just obssessed-She believes Edward Culln is real, links every conversation into a Twilight discussion, and wants to be a vampire when she grows up. I mean really.

I was duped into watching the first Twilight movie by a co-worker,who assured me it was a "great vampire story" ( I had no prior knowledge of the books or the huge teen girl following),after ten minutes of that film,I longed to do unspeakable violence to my co-worker.

I would sooner chew a box of razor blades than watch the second instalment of this silly franchise.

Little lord Fauntleroy wrote:Oh god, don't even talk to me about Twilight. The Girl I have to sit next to in form time at the house of horros (school) is just obssessed-She believes Edward Culln is real, links every conversation into a Twilight discussion, and wants to be a vampire when she grows up. I mean really.

I know, especially when you could grow up and be Gandalf

I want to be a Vampire when I grow up, but I want to be like the ones from "John Carpenter's Vampires". Does that make me a bad person? I sincerely hope so.

FITZZ wrote: I was duped into watching the first Twilight movie by a co-worker,who assured me it was a "great vampire story"

There's an interesting psychosexual dynamic going on in Twilight which is probably linked with the popularity of riding among teenage girls and the popularity of Yaoi manga.

In Twilight, a peri-pubescent girl longs after a hunk of a man who must remain forever beyond her reach.

In riding, a peri-pubescent girl clamps her thighs firmly around a huge muscly brute and directs its movements, right, left, up and down, rocking and plunging, at her pleasure.

In Yaoi manga, a peri-pubescent girl enjoys the sight of two hot, beautiful young men getting it on with each other.

All three can be seen as ways of girls vicariously exploring aspects of their emergent sexuality without the danger (physical or social) of actual sex.

Kilkrazy wrote:There's an interesting psychosexual dynamic going on in Twilight which is probably linked with the popularity of riding among teenage girls and the popularity of Yaoi manga.

In Twilight, a peri-pubescent girl longs after a hunk of a man who must remain forever beyond her reach.

In riding, a peri-pubescent girl clamps her thighs firmly around a huge muscly brute and directs its movements, right, left, up and down, rocking and plunging, at her pleasure.

In Yaoi manga, a peri-pubescent girl enjoys the sight of two hot, beautiful young men getting it on with each other.

All three can be seen as ways of girls vicariously exploring aspects of their emergent sexuality without the danger (physical or social) of actual sex.

And because girls are evil, they must drag their significant others into their hormone-clogged Roger Corman style mishmash of *** What?*** Your post just now sunk in. I'm going to need therapy now. Seriously, I thought I bought enough booze for Tgivinz. I'm off to Quiktrip for Niquil now....

For a chick movie it really isn't that bad. Like anything else, if you've read the books it's better. I think you folks are overreacting like crazy :p

Cannerus_The_Unbearable wrote:For a chick movie it really isn't that bad. Like anything else, if you've read the books it's better. I think you folks are overreacting like crazy :p

You must have been smoking something really good when you watched the films and read the books.

This one sums it up pretty well I guess:

Thank the lord for cheap vodka at the Odeon!

Marry me.

The vid sums it up pretty well.

agnosto wrote:My neice and sister were crazy about these books and movies. I asked my neice "so it's a story about a 200 year old guy that goes to high school (talk about remedial) to pick up girls....under 18 girls?"

Her answer: "No! He looks 17!" (hard to put the indignant 13 year old sound in there)

Me: "Yeah but he's really like 200 years old, right?"

Her: She's over 18 now!

Me: Yeah but when it started she was 17 right?

Her: What's your point?!

Me: He's a pervert.
At which point I look at my sister and say something along the lines of poor parenting leads to welfare cases.

They do say women go for an older man

My Ex put me through the first Twilight film a while back, after about 20 minutes, i pointed out to her that i would rather be pursued across the Gobi desert by a pack of crazed mules than watch any more. She watched the rest while i went to the pub.

A couple of days later i bought a copy of Near Dark, which she watched and thoroughly enjoyed (best Vamp flick ever imho). When we broke up, i was left with Twilight, she pinched Near Dark. Grrr, but at least she displayed some vestiges of taste

Wolfgang wrote:I know, especially when you could grow up and be Gandalf

i Agree wholeheartedly Gandalf is epic and for that matter so is Aragorn
moving along
i went and saw the trash that is the first movie with a friend lucky friend of mine she was hungover the entire time so she just dozed through the entire thing
i ended up playing solitare on my ipod and listening to my music loud to annoy people

And time for two plans to aid my fellow Dakkaites.

1. My patented enjoyomatic technique.

If off to see a film you think is in danger of being a bit ropey/utterly pish, simply ensure you watch a very poor film beforehand (Battlefield Earth has been mentioned. This isn't quite poor enough, as it has that female Alien in it I would knob). Has to be really piss-poor. Having watched it, a film would really have to go some not to be an improvement, and thus enjoyed at least temporarily.

2. The answer to Twilight Addiction!

Make you bint watch Lost Boys, problem solved.

If you think it's bad so far, try imagining a movie made of the fourth book in the series, "Breaking Dawn". I won't recant the details here, but it would make Lars Von Trier's "Antichrist" look like a fething fairy tale.

My wife had seen New Moon twice before dragging me to see it last night. Shes a fan of the books and said that the film was badly directed but, my god, was I supposed to laugh all the way through it?

I'm surprised it wasn't sponsored by Senakot.
'heartbroken' bella looked like she had stomach cramps all the way through. Edward had a 'CONSTIPATED PHONE CRUSH' scene.
The wolves were cute and cuddly.

I shot a particularly huge gulp of tango through my nose during the anne of green gables scene, those of who have seen it will know what I mean.

If you like comedies about teenage girls in controlling and slightly abusive relationships this is the film for you.