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So, how the hell did Christianity manage to surplant older Religions then? I mean, it's not exactly a barrel of laughs is it? No, it's instead about self denial and feeling bad for being human.

Honour God, do nowt on a Sunday but be humbled. Compared to, honour the Gods, have an orgy. Honour the Gods, go get plastered. Honour the Gods, stuff your self silly on lovely foods.

What the hell man?

Swords and fire, I'm thinkin'.

I remember reading somewhere that after the Romans left Britain, Christian priests would pay whores to follow them arround and if a man agreed to convert from paganism they would get to sleep with the prostitutes. Not sure if its correct but sounds about right.

This is actually a very interesting question for which there is no clear answer. Anthropological sociology is not exactly a vibrant field.

squilverine wrote:I remember reading somewhere that after the Romans left Britain, Christian priests would pay whores to follow them arround and if a man agreed to convert from paganism they would get to sleep with the prostitutes. Not sure if its correct but sounds about right.

Always the short game!

Convery to Christianity, and get one free poke before a life time of self imposed misery, OR, ignore the Bible Basher and just wait for the next Orgy to ensure good crops. Or head the pub to say 'ta God' for your dinner.

Pfffrt.

You're expected to turn the other cheek, when the old Gods seemingly encouraged you to go and knock the other guys block off. Look at the Ten Commandments. They give you a list of things to be pissed off about when someone else does it, but then says not to kick their head in/some other form of restitution. I don't get it!

Christianity piggy backed the roman empire. That's how.

But the Romans had awesome Gods. They literally invented the term 'Orgy'. Bacchus was praised by getting pissed and eating and shagging.

So what the hell did some bloke being nailed to a cross offer to switch them? And how pissed off must the Roman Gods be about it?

Much more do to with the work of the apostles about a hundred years after saiud guy on a cross was dead, or not...or whatever.

+ the roman gods were probably more pissed off when they were stolen by the romans from whichever civilisation the romans had just conquered. Since that's how romans got "their" gods.

But even so. I just don't get it.

It was the Romans that nailed the bugger up in the first place, and they'd know (Well, some might) that he was a bit of a wuss in the first place. Compare that to their Gods at the time, and well, no contest you'd think.

Maybe the promise of heaven was more attractive than spending eternity with angry three headed dogs and a guy who basicly decides on how you will live out your existence based on how much he likes you.

I think it was the whole 'be excellent to each other' vibe. The world was extraordinarily violent at that time, so I can see how a religion based on peace and love followed by eternal salvation would appeal. It's something to aspire to.

Mad Doc Grotsnik wrote:What the hell man?

You know, having a celestial prostitute or a drunkard as your god doesn't really cut it in the long term, does it? Lacks style.

I'd explain how exactly Christianity ended up as the state religion in Rome/Byzantium/rest of Europe but I'm watching the game.

In a similar vein, I have the answer to life the universe and everything. But like you..just watching the game.

...and no it aint 42.

Albatross wrote:I think it was the whole 'be excellent to each other' vibe. The world was extraordinarily violent at that time, so I can see how a religion based on peace and love followed by eternal salvation would appeal. It's something to aspire to.

Trouble is, peace and love is only attractive when you've been on the receiving end of a kicking. If you're in the ascendant, you gain wealth wimmin and wine. And everyone likes that triumvate!

The trick is to give them the kicking first, then introduce the peace and love.


OMG I think I just figured out what the USA is trying to do in the Middle East!

So it's like a Conquering version of a game of 'Mercy'. You keep on with the National Chinese burn until they give in, and hand over all their sweets?

Sorry, but Valhalla sounds a lot more fun than heaven. Endless drinking and punch ups with all your bezzie mates from life? Hell yes!

And this thread will end well, for although a serious question in it's won right, I think it's pretty clear the whole thread is for comedy effect, and isn't out to insult a Religion, or indeed Faith.

Albatross wrote:The trick is to give them the kicking first, then introduce the peace and love.


OMG I think I just figured out what the USA is trying to do in the Middle East!

Really? I though the US policy towards the ME was based on Lord Humungus's plan to get the gasoline from the Road Warrior.

I'm immune to chinese burns. I have really leathery wrists.

You mean drive round and round whilst wearing a Gimp Mask?

I can't drive, so I just walk around with it on.


Yes, I get some funny looks.


Automatically Appended Next Post:
oh, hang on...

Mad Doc Grotsnik wrote:So it's like a Conquering version of a game of 'Mercy'. You keep on with the National Chinese burn until they give in, and hand over all their sweets?

Sorry, but Valhalla sounds a lot more fun than heaven. Endless drinking and punch ups with all your bezzie mates from life? Hell yes!

Valhalla is far from what the Roman idea of afterlife was.

Roman afterlife is grim and ugly.

I know that! Remember, this is a slightly silly thread orbiting a serious question, and thus, is not to be taken entirely seriously.

Though as Dogma said, it is worth investigating. Perhaps I have finally found a Degree worth pursuing in my eyes?

But no! No more serious! Back to the silly!

I now have visions of Albatross walking round and round a Petrol Station, wearing a gimp mask. With a Buttflap Punk in tow to scare people.

I think the restriction on human sacrifice was a winner. The idea that god loved you, instead of gods wanting to dick your life over every 5 minutes or transform into animals and rape your wife/daughter/nostril.

Sounds like a laugh, that sort of God! Or a good excuse for your wife being seriously kinky.

Mad Doc Grotsnik wrote:I know that! Remember, this is a slightly silly thread orbiting a serious question, and thus, is not to be taken entirely seriously.

Though as Dogma said, it is worth investigating. Perhaps I have finally found a Degree worth pursuing in my eyes?

But no! No more serious! Back to the silly!

I now have visions of Albatross walking round and round a Petrol Station, wearing a gimp mask. With a Buttflap Punk in tow to scare people.

So considering the main point of your argument is now flawed do we still carry on orbiting the serious question or is this now a feth about thread about to be descended upon by a horde of lolcats and the pro gun lobby? You see what you don't see in the small print is that in valhalla, the bar isn't free. They even charge for water.

Which is why you're encourage to fight! You order your Mead, and then clobber the Barman. And since it's allowed, Norman The Doorman can't touch you. Though don't look surprised if the Barman see's it coming the second time.

No no, this Norman the Doorman guy has to go, else I'm sticking with Christianity.

You know, personally, I think I'd avoid getting into unprotected orgies with masses of drunk, inbred, potentially plague-ridden people who never shower, shave, or even look in a mirror.

In fact, if a religion came to town that had an explicit "no orgies" policy at the time, I think I'd join up with them, just so I don't get caught up in one accidentally.

whatwhat wrote:No no, this Norman the Doorman guy has to go, else I'm sticking with Christianity.

But you need Norman The Doorman on station all the time. He's not there to keep you out, just the sort of cretins who despite claiming to be blokes, instead quaff Tartfuel as opposed to a proper pint. You can't have Ben Sherman clad pseudo-men in Valhalla! They'd ruin all the atmos! Most of them don't even have beards.