Fauntleroy celebrates 1225 posts by ranking Space Marine legions.

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**Little lord Fauntleroy**

So, we've come to it at last. 1225 posts. I know it seems odd, but it's a special number to me, m'kay. Anyway...1225 posts. And I've had an interesting time of it all. I know we have not always got along Dakka, but I do consider you my brothers (and sisters)-in-arms. I look forward to 1225 more posts here on Dakka!

Anyway, thats the emotional stuff out of the way. To celebrate this milestone, I thought I would be appropriate to do something special. So, I'm going to rank the 20 origional Space Marine legions in order of preference, giving reasons along the way. I know it sounds Narcassitic, but I hope it'll let you get to know me a little better-something that I personally would like. So, lets get started with number 20!:

20. It took the Horus Heresy for them to come out of the closet.

Emperors children, how I loath thee. Let me start by saying that the idea on its own isn't bad-totally debased and corrupt warriors, once dedicated to perfection in it's every form but now addicted to pleasure and sensation, devoted to the god of excess and fighting alongside lithesome Daemons whilst outfitting all their most powerful weapons with sonic technology. Sounds good, don't it?
But that's the point-these things don't exist. Instead, what we get are pink-armoured sex addicts who are deaf unless it's a WERELY LOUD BANG!!!11!!!1 Even their pre-heresy colours were a noxious, gaudy purple. Blech.
And Fulgrim. Don't even get me started on Fulgrim. I hate pretty, poster-boy primarchs (as you'll see later, there's one exception), and Fulgrim is one of the worst. He's the most perfectly perfect of the Primarchs,

Spoiler:

Yawn.
So, EC, where did it all go wrong? At the end of the day, you're just bling bling marines shooting with trombones. Trombones of doom, maybe, but still Trombones.

**sniperjolly**

I love it, congrats on the post count you hypocritical narccisist, chewing out the most narccisistic legion.

PS there were only 18 legions, unless you count the two that got deleted.

**micahaphone**

moar???

And as a saxophone player, I just want to say that sitting in front of trombones is dangerous to your ears, and to your sense of cleanliness. Just put some duct tape over your fething spit valve and stop the nurgle-ish spraying!

**Necroman**

Shouldn't this be in the fluff section?

**KamikazeCanuck**

Not a big fan of the Emperor's Children except for Saul Tarvitz. But he was cool becasue he was the most unEC member of the legion. Are you going to rank them by coolness or effectiveness?

**Fiend**

So, you like Emporer's Children less than the two chapters we know nothing about? Now that's high quality loathing.

I'm not defending them, as they are dispicable filthy chaos traitors.

**Inquisitor_Syphonious**

Little lord Fauntleroy wrote: I look forward to 1225 more posts here on Dakka!

Fine fine, alright... but then you gotta go!

**Little lord Fauntleroy**

sniperjolly wrote:I love it, congrats on the post count you hypocritical narccisist, chewing out the most narccisistic legion.

PS there were only 18 legions, unless you count the two that got deleted.

I am counting the 2 deleted legions.

micahaphone wrote:moar???

And as a saxophone player, I just want to say that sitting in front of trombones is dangerous to your ears, and to your sense of cleanliness. Just put some duct tape over your fething spit valve and stop the nurgle-ish spraying!

There will be more, don't worry. I'm hoping to do one legion every two or so days.

KamikazeCanuck wrote:Not a big fan of the Emperor's Children except for Saul Tarvitz. But he was cool becasue he was the most unEC member of the legion. Are you going to rank thm by coolness or effectiveness?

Coolness-and I think you may be a little surprised who comes out top.

Inquisitor_Syphonious wrote:
Little lord Fauntleroy wrote: I look forward to 1225 more posts here on Dakka!

Fine fine, alright... but then you gotta go!

Okee-dokee, I'll just go and troll B&C.

Automatically Appended Next Post:
19. So my favourite son killed my favourite daughter?

I don't like Blood Angels-and I think we can all guess why. I don't like their fluff, I don't like their style, I don't like their rules, and I don't like them. They are just a boring concept to me-"Lookee lookee kids! Vampires in space! Zomg I <3 Twilight!!!"-and their current codex with it's rediculous 'backstory' (if it even deserves to be called that) and just some plain silly rules make them ultimately dead in my eyes. I could care a lot less about Sanguinius, who has a prime example of PPBPD (pretty poster-boy primarch disorder) and so goody-goody it's sickening. Even their name is boring (We are the Blood Angels...for we are angels...of blood...).The Death company and Sanguinary guard are nice idea's, I'll give them that, and Lemartes is a cool guy, but otherwise-nothing more than a resounding 'thumbs down' for the Blood Angels.
And no, I don't like Twilight.

**Little lord Fauntleroy**

18 & 17. Who's that Girl?

Well, we now know where the two lost legions were anyway!

The lost legions have never sat well with me. Granted, the fact that we know nothing about them means it's hard to give a proper reason for disliking them, but there we go. I know why they exist-to give players the chance to create their own loyalist or Chaos legions-but one of the main reasons I enjoy 40k so much is for its background, which is far better than half the stuff we get for other games in my opinion. Leaving out two legions of the main pro (or possibly an)tagonists just makes the whole thing seem...unfinished. A little mystery is all fine and good, but we can leave that to guys like the Dark angels, who at least get a name, can't we?
And legion two is better than legion eleven. Period.

**Ediin**

I like it, Congratulations on your anniversary

**Nitros14**

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yCqCs_TZo4U

In your heart you know where they belong.

**Storm Lord**

19 & 18. Who's that Girl?

19. So my favourite son killed my favourite daughter?

Um...how are both blood angels and a missing legion at number 19? Just wondering...not trying to be picky or anything

**Kroothawk**

Fauntleroy celebrates 1.225K posts by ranking Space Marine legions.

1.225k posts, or 1.225.000 posts, that is impressive! I would be glad to only have 1 Mio. posts

**Little lord Fauntleroy**

Kroothawk wrote:1.225k posts, or 1.225.000 posts, that is impressive! I would be glad to only have 1 Mio. posts

Dammit man! Fauntleroy can count! How many are here Fauntleroy?-one, two...

Storm Lord wrote:Um...how are both blood angels and a missing legion at number 19?

See above.

**Little lord Fauntleroy**

16.Like regular wolves, but in SPHESS!!1!!1

Space Wolves. What is it about Space Wolves I don't like? Well, it's this-imagine for a moment if 40k was in a high school setting. The Death guard would be the fat guys, the Ultramarines would be the 'popular' kids, the Night lords would be the creepy guys who hang around outside the girls bathroom and try to look in whenever someone opens the door. Well, the Space Wolves would be 'that' guy-the guy who smokes, who drinks, who does drugs, who starts the fights, who sleeps with different women every week-but everyone stil likes them. Except me. Not all of the wolves are bad-Bjorn and Ulrik are cool guys, and Russ is a proper man's primarch-but they're still just as a whole irritating. The people of the Imperium think light shines out of their every orifice and they can do no wrong despite the fact their all, y'know, crazy werewolfs? For once, I'm firmly on the side of the Administratum.
And here's a point-whats with the insane wolf fetish? Why must every second peice of wargear or special rule be the 'Wolf of the wolf wolf' or whatever? I understand the need to establish a theme and all, but this is just taking it a little too far don'tcha think Gee-dub?
So, thats my views on the Space Wolves. They have potential, but in the end they're just....too close to home for me to ever truly like.
And I should point out that my two main armies are Dark Angels and Thousand sons with renegade space Wolves.

**Shaman**

I thought space wolves were going to be number one.. happily I am mistaken.

**Little lord Fauntleroy**

15. As of some one gently rapping, rapping at my fortress door...

I want to like the Raven guard. I really really do. But I find I just...can't...
I don't know why not-they are a cool chapter. Black clad superhuman bird space assassins? Sounds good. Their homeplanet is basically a forge world? Lookin' pretty hot. Shadow captain Shrike? Holy mother of Nurgle yes.
But something about them is just putting me off. Corax was a bit of a dunce I suppose, flying into the warp with a remix of one line of Poe's "The raven" blasting out some speakers because he made one slight feth-up (okay, it was a little more than slight, but that still doesn't change the fact he was sitting in his bedroom sulking when he should have been kicking xenos rear-end). That Korvydae model is ugly with a capital 'U'. But the rest of them are alright guys, but I just don't like them. And I wish I did, because I think I would enjoy this game a lot more.

**1hadhq**

Little lord Fauntleroy wrote:
And I wish I did, because I think I would enjoy this game a lot more.

yep. Your loss.

**KamikazeCanuck**

pfff. Raven guard are cooler than Dark Angels. You better stop the Dark Angels are the coolest train right now.
All they've done in the last 10,000 years is ride around in a rock looking for members of their own chapter for no particular reason. Lots of other chapters have lost marines to chaos but guess what? They got over it!!!!

**Little lord Fauntleroy**

KamikazeCanuck wrote: All they've done in the last 10,000 years is ride around in a rock looking for members of their own chapter for no particular reason.

I take it you don't now the events of the fall of Caliban? If you did, then you wouldn't say it was for no particular reason.

**KamikazeCanuck**

Little lord Fauntleroy wrote:
KamikazeCanuck wrote: All they've done in the last 10,000 years is ride around in a rock looking for members of their own chapter for no particular reason.

I take it you don't now the events of the fall of Caliban? If you did, then you wouldn't say it was for no particular reason.

I'm well-versed in the Dark Angels and while they look cool they don't act cool. It's the only only loyalist chapter where you can't even trust your own battle-brothers. Saying the wrong thing can get you mind-wiped or disappeared. They have a secretive inner-circle that jealously guards their secrets so they can feel like big men.
If you were their allies you could never figure them into your strategies. In the critical moment of a battle they could just up and leave or even turn on you if it suited their personal, and overblown agenda. If I were an Astartes The Unforgiven would be the only chapter I wouldn't want to be in. You can't trust your brother next to you and fight for nothing but an elitist inner circle that would put you down without hesitation.

**Corey85**

Is it too soon to start sending bribes? Night Lords for 10 bucks.

**Fiend**

So far, I've got to agree, more or less. These chapters are the more generic or ridiculously themed ones. Although I happen to like the mystic of the lost chapters.

**Necroman**

Do I completely agree with your list?

No.

Do I think it's hilarious?

Hellz yah.

**Ediin**

Necroman wrote:Do I completely agree with your list?

No.

Do I think it's hilarious?

Hellz yah.

Agreed.
And, I Bet 200 SKR the next legion will be......Word Bearers.

**Nitros14**

You know I've kind of liked Word Bearers ever since this game http://weopenthewayforourbrothers.ytmnd.com/

**Shaman**

I have to say I don't love the fluff for any of the first founding.. Their either lame, stupid or too extreme.. Like The world eaters are cool, but the idea any of them are left breaks my suspension of belief bridge.

Also I really wish they get a novel, but then I thought what would you put in it? Blood for the Blood God!!! *kill something* Skulls for the skull throne! REPEAT.. for 300 pages.. I'd probably still read it though.

**Little lord Fauntleroy**

14. They'd look better with the hats

I would say I like the Ultra's more than most-I even had an army of them before I sadly sold them on. But I will admit that they are smurfs.
And not just in colour, but in demeaner. They go around screaming about "CURIGE & HONUR!!!11!!1" and getting omnomed by the 'nids, whilst still being the lovechildren of GW. They are just in general boring and too goody-goody, and like the Space Wolves they are akin to a 'brand' of people in real life, but in this case they are the arrogant 'popular' kids who go out of their way to make my life a misery. Grumble.
Gulliman was a bit of a twerp, being cruel to both Alpharius and Lorgar just because he was more succesful in the crusade than they were. Yeah, well let me tell you something Girlyman-Lorgar's god beats your god. Calgar (who shall hereon out be known as 'big papa smurf') sits on the Mary sue sofa with the Sanguinor and Sicarus and sits back downing gallons of ale whiles re-enacting how he somehow managed to punch through the body of stupidly hot living metal of the Eldar god of War, yet somehow losing in a fairly epic fashion to some semi-intelligent mosquito's (though still only losing about 100 men, you understand). And the less said about Uriel-"lets charge the Necrons to wake up their god of death which everyone else saw coming but we managed to miss completely"-Ventris the better.
I suppose their not all that bad-I mean, in general they are cool enough guys. But they are just the very epitome of blandness. If Space Marines worked in regular jobs, then the Ultramarines would be the parking ticket validators.

1d4 chan wrote:Circa M29: The Unification Wars. The Emperor of Mankind unites Terra, and sets off to conquer the stars in a series of violent and bloody battles. The Ultramarines’ Primarch, Roboute Guilliman (Nicknamed Rowboat Girlyman for his utter douchebaggery during the Heresy), is conveniently located on the other side of the galaxy when this occurs.

012.M31-014.M31: The Horus Heresy. Almost half of all Space Marine legions betray the Emperor and turn to Chaos. The traitors lay siege to Holy Terra, and most of the Space marine legions suffer major losses. The Blood Angels, Imperial Fists, and White scars are forced to make a stand on Terra while the Dark Angels lose their homeworld to renegade elements within their home planet, the Salamanders, Iron Hands, and Raven Guard are nearly destroyed, and the Emperor is crippled while battling Horus. The Ultramarines are conveniently located on the other side of the galaxy when this occurs. After the Heresy, Rowboat Girlyman created the Codex Astartes as we know it today, including the separation of the 10,000 strong legions into 1,000 strong chapters. Note that the Ultramarines didn't participate in the defense of Terra, didn't sustain crippling damage to their Chapter's manpower, and note that, best of all, when they arrived they were too fething late. The war was already won, yet their primarch still was the first to create the new rules.

546.M32: 'The Beheading': The High Lords of Terra are all slain on the orders of Drakan Vangorich, Grand Master of the Officio Assassinorum. The rogue Master of Assassins is tracked down and slain by a Space Marine strikeforce drawn from the Imperial Fists, Halo Brethren and Sable Swords. Only a single Space Marine survives the campaign. The Ultramarines are conveniently located on the other side of the galaxy when this occurs.

843.M35: Distress call from Grendel's World investigated. Planet discovered to have been attacked and all inhabitants slain by terror tactics of the Night Lords. The Ultramarines are conveniently located on the other side of the galaxy when this occurs.

Early M36: The Age of Apostasy and the Reign of Blood begin. Warp storms increase dramatically and Chaos and Ork attacks multiply. The Imperium falls into turmoil. An empowered Ecclesiarchy becomes more tyrannical. High Lord Goge Vandire becomes the most powerful member of the Senate of the High Lords of Terra, and manipulates a small sect, the Daughters of the Emperor(AKA: today the Sisters of Battle), into becoming his personal bodyguards, the Brides of the Emperor. Vandire rules largely unopposed and more and more bloody and tyrannical. Zhoros (Fire Hawks' world) thermal bombed. The Ultramarines are conveniently located on the other side of the galaxy when this occurs.

266.M36: Sebastian Thor is born on Dimmamar. He eventually becomes a threat to Vandire, who sends the Frateris Templar fleet to destroy Dimmamar. The fleet is completly destroyed by a warp storm, still existing today, named the Storm of the Emperor's Wrath in the Clax system. Vandire's armies are finally defeated by combined forces of the Tech Guard and several chapters of Space Marines, organized under the banner of the Confederation of Light, led by Thor. Vandire is executed by Alicia Dominica, the leader of his own bodyguards, who reclaim their old name Daughters of the Emperor in a conspiracy involving the Adeptus Custodes and the Emperor himself. The Ultramarines are conveniently located on the other side of the galaxy when this occurs.

723.M36: The 5th Black Crusade begins. Doombreed, a prince of Khorne declares war on the Adeptus Astartes. The Warhawks and the Venerators are lost. The Ultramarines are conveniently located on the other side of the galaxy when this occurs.

995.M40-000.M41 The Macharian Crusades. Lord Solar Macharius sets out to reconquer the Segmentum Pacificus for the Imperium. The Ultramarines are conveniently located on the other side of the galaxy when this occurs.

444.M41: First War for Armageddon. Chaos incursion led by Angron and World Eaters beaten back by Space Wolves and Grey Knights but only at a terrible cost. Only about a dozen of the grey knights survive the battle with Angron. The local planetary militia and the other citizens are mind-wiped, sterilized and put into work camps, to slave away for the rest of their short, miserable lives much to the horror of Logan Grimnar. The Ultramarines are conveniently located on the other side of the galaxy when this occurs.

742.M41 Damocles Crusade is launched against the Tau Empire due to the Imperium's ever growing Xenophobia, a small, strategically insignificant piece of nothingness, inhabited by weak fish people with minimal Faster-Than-Light Technology. The Ultramarines are thoroughly defeated along with the rest of the Imperial forces.

745.M41: First Tyrannic War. Hive Fleet Behemoth attacks the Ultramarines homeworld Macragge. Most of the chapter is eaten by Nids and lost their entire 1st company, the Chapter's company of hardened veterans and Terminators. The second fight they get and they still blew it, lulz.

901-912.M41 Badab War. The Astral Claws, Lamenters, Executioners, and Mantis Warriors chapters rebel against the Imperium, and are defeated by loyalist chapters. The Ultramarines are conveniently located on the other side of the galaxy when this occurs.

941-942.M41: Second War for Armageddon. The Ultramarines bump into an Ork Waaagh! while running away from the Tyranids. They are saved by the timely intervention of Commissar Yarrick and the Blood Angels.

988.M41: The battle of Rynn's World begins. A large ork army, led by the Warboss Snagrod attacks the Crimson Fists and thier homeworld. During the battle, a stray missle strikes the Fortress-Monastary of the crimson fists, killing most of the Marines. The survivors are wounded severly and are forced to rebuild their chapter. The Ultramarines are conveniently located on the other side of the galaxy when this occurs.

757998.M41: The Third War for Armageddon begins. Having learned from past mistakes, Imperial Commanders commit a ridiculous amount of forces to hold the world. It drags on for months in a bloody stalemate, and soon Ghazghkull grows bored and leaves his generals to finish the fight while he goes looking for other worlds to conquer. Commissar Yarrick joins a Black Templars Crusade and gives chase. The Ultramarines are conveniently located on the other side of the galaxy when this occurs.

5999.M41: Warmaster Abaddon launches the 13th Black Crusade. The armies of Chaos Undivided lay siege primarily to Cadia but attack many of the surrounding worlds as well. Imperial Forces launch a massive counterattack, and eventually push back the tides of Chaos, but only just barely, and at great cost. The Space Wolves' 13th Company are amongst the forces seen fighting against the forces of chaos. The Ultramarines are conveniently located on the other side of the galaxy when this occurs.

**shakey787**

lol i love it, who's next?

**Necroagogo**

Keep 'em (World Eaters) coming, mate! Don't let (World Eaters) anyone try to influence you with (World Eaters) their own personal (World Eaters) faves!