Cops: Crossing Guard Beats Teen Who Called Him "Fatso"

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**Frazzled**

I'd buy this guy a beer. I figure most Jr. High kids need a agood solid beatdown about once a week.

http://www.nbcphiladelphia.com/news/local-beat/Crossing-Guard-Beats-Teen-Who-Called-Him-Fatso.html

Cops: Crossing Guard Beats Teen Who Called Him "Fatso"
Crossing guard allegedly attacked a middle school student who taunted him
By TERESA MASTERSON
Updated 6:14 AM EDT, Thu, Jul 1, 2010

Upper Darby Police
An off-duty crossing guard for Drexel Middle School was arrested last Thursday for allegedly beating a 14-year-old boy who taunted him during the school year.

Gerald Kelly, 60, of the 300-block of Shadeland Avenue in Drexel Hill was arrested June 24 after he assaulted the young teen outside a pharmacy after school hours, police say.

“This was a get-even attack,” police Superintendent Michael Chitwoodtold the Delaware County Times. “It was certainly inappropriate behavior.”

According to Chitwood, the Drexel Hill Middle School student had taunted Kelly with names like “fatso” and “fat man” throughout the year.

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"But on this day, as far as we know, he wasn't taunting him,” Chitwood told the Daily News.

The boy was sitting outside the Shadeland Avenue Pharmacy on Garrett Road when Kelly, a 6-foot 4-inch-tall, 200-pound man with a criminal history of assault, attacked the 14-year-old after the two exchanged words, Chitwood said.

“The victim identified Kelly as the crossing guard at his school and says he calls the man ‘fatboy’ or ‘fatman,’” Chitwood told the Delaware County Times. “The crossing guard started to kick at him and put his foot on his chest then his neck. The kid hit his head on the sidewalk, causing a lump on the back of his head.”

At least two people witnessed the assault, Chitwood said.

Kelly was hired by the Upper Darby School District as a crossing guard in October 2009, according to district officials.

Kelly was arrested on charges of simple assault and harassment.

“I don’t think I’d want this guy crossing my kids,” Chitwood said. “I don’t know what the criteria is for hiring crossing guards. We have nothing to do with hiring crossing guards.”

**Nightwatch**

“It was certainly inappropriate behavior.”

Thanks, tips.

**WarOne**

He should be court ordered to wear this from now on:

HOW many beers DID you get him Frazzled?

**fallen_wolfborn**

There is so much WIN in this statement that I must laugh, even at the expense of being a cliché.

**Honersstodnt**

some kids just need to be beaten. This is one of them.

**Jihadnik**

This could only be more hilarious if he actually beat him with one of those lollypop sings...

I should explain that for some reason we call the guys who hold those stop signs, Lollypop men in Australia...

Wow, that didn't sound as dodgy when I was writing it, but now...

**Kilkrazy**

They are called lollypop men because they sign they hold up looks like a giant lollypop.

Is 200 pounds that fat for a six-feet-plus guy?

My calculator says it is under 15 stone.

**Frazzled**

Thats why the kid needed a beating. The kid obviously is as ignorant as he is stupid. The beating will serve him well the next time he goes to the zoo. Maybe little Timmy won't annoy the grizzly bears or the gangbanger standing next to him. Crossing Guard Bob, saving little punk lives, one beating at a time.

**WarOne**

Frazzled wrote:The beating will serve him well the next time he goes to the zoo. Maybe little Timmy won't annoy the grizzly bears or the gangbanger standing next to him.

I believe children are taught to avoid men who gangbang grizzly bears. This beating will only serve to make him more ignorant and stupid than before, as I believe he lost a few IQ points in the beating.

**Jihadnik**

Hey Boo Boo, whats in that Picinic basket you got there?

WHANNNGGGG!!!

**Frazzled**

WarOne wrote:
Frazzled wrote:The beating will serve him well the next time he goes to the zoo. Maybe little Timmy won't annoy the grizzly bears or the gangbanger standing next to him.

I believe children are taught to avoid men who gangbang grizzly bears. This beating will only serve to make him more ignorant and stupid than before, as I believe he lost a few IQ points in the beating.

Ancient Buda say "Man who gangbangs a grizzly bear is not someone you feth with. Ever."

**Jihadnik**

How could just one man gangbang a bear anyway, wouldnt you need a few...?

A gang if you will?

**Frazzled**

Its a question I've never asked. The ramifications are too horrible to contemplate.

Clearly this is a person who needs to be airdropped over some enemy base with all friendly forces at least 20 miles away. Rambo ain't got nuttin on Bear (&(^er Bob!

**WarOne**

Frazzled wrote:Its a question I've never asked. The ramifications are too horrible to contemplate.

Clearly this is a person who needs to be airdropped over some enemy base with all friendly forces at least 20 miles away. Rambo ain't got nuttin on Bear (&(^er Bob!

I believe you missed Rambo 4- Rambo vs Nature. The climatic scene was a Rocky-esque 15 round fight between Rambo and a bear that ended in a draw when the bear broke the rules and ate Rambo. It was called a draw because of a technicality.

So technically, Rambo can stand with a bear, just don't expect him to live.

**Cane**

Stuttering Stanley!

“The crossing guard started to kick at him and put his foot on his chest then his neck. The kid hit his head on the sidewalk, causing a lump on the back of his head.”

...Kelly, a 6-foot 4-inch-tall, 200-pound man with a criminal history of assault, attacked the 14-year-old after the two exchanged words, Chitwood said.

14 year old kid ftw to get a huge mofo to crumble down like that.

**KingCracker**

I want to know why a school system would hire a guy with a criminal history anyways. But at the same time, that kid deserved an ass whopping, calling the guy those names. What a little gak.

**Belphegor**

Criminal history can equate to as little as shop lifting in your early twenties during a rough spot or creating tag art on an abandoned building.

A history of criminal violence would be applicable information to report, not "a criminal history".

**jp400**

Id hire this guy as a crossing guard any day of the week at the local HS.

**Mistress of minis**

If one mocks the fat man- one should assure they can run faster and hide better than the angry fat man.

2nd tactic- soothe the angry fat man with proper offerings to appease his voluminous rumbly tummy.

3rd tactic- point at the nearest kid you dont like and exclaim "He called you fat! I just said you were big boned!"

**kronk**

The kid heaped verbal abuse on this guy for a year and then got his ass kicked for going too far.

The security guard assaulted a student and got arrested and will probably get fired.

Both now have the opportunity to learn that are consequences for their actions. I say opportunity because they likely will continue to be donkey-caves for the rest of their lives.

Not sure what else to say here. I guess we can chalk this one up as lesson learned for both people.

I don't feel sorry for either.

**Major Malfunction**

Serves the little smart ass right. Next time he'll think twice before running his mouth.

**Khornholio**

kronk wrote:The kid heaped verbal abuse on this guy for a year and then got his ass kicked for going too far.

The security guard assaulted a student and got arrested and will probably get fired.

Both now have the opportunity to learn that are consequences for their actions. I say opportunity because they likely will continue to be donkey-caves for the rest of their lives.

Not sure what else to say here. I guess we can chalk this one up as lesson learned for both people.

I don't feel sorry for either.

^^ This.

But, Fraz is 100% correct when he says jr.high kids need a good smack at least once a week. This kid was beaten by a fat old guy. Not exactly challenging Beowulf, is it?

**Kilkrazy**

It's a difficult one for we conservatives to wrap our heads round.

First, prison works, so why shouldn't an ex-con be hired for a loppypop man?
Second, he was the representative of authority and should be respected by pupils.
Third, children must be seen and not heard. When they sass their elders and betters they had better learn to fear the consequences.
Fourth, corporal punishment is a good thing, so it's good for it to be dished out informally, without the namby-pamby restrictions of the nanny state.

**Shaman**

All of this could of been avoided if said lollypop man was permitted to give the kid a clip round the ear for the first comment.

**sebster**

Belphegor wrote:Criminal history can equate to as little as shop lifting in your early twenties during a rough spot or creating tag art on an abandoned building.

A history of criminal violence would be applicable information to report, not "a criminal history".

Uhh, it said "with a criminal history of assault" in the article.

Meanwhile, this thread is ridiculous. Kids will make smart arse comments. Capable, adults will deal with this in adult ways. This guy was not a capable member of society, so he freaked out and assaulted a 14 year old kid. This ignored so that people on the internet can say "hurr kid done got beat".

**Wrexasaur**

sebster wrote:Meanwhile, this thread is ridiculous. Kids will make smart arse comments. Capable, adults will deal with this in adult ways. This guy was not a capable member of society, so he freaked out and assaulted a 14 year old kid. This ignored so that people on the internet can say "hurr kid done got beat".

Don't disturb the natives in their habitat... STOP TAPPING THE GLASS, ALREADY!

**A Black Ram**

The above motivational poster made me forget what I have been reading.

**H.B.M.C.**

Frazzled wrote:LOOK
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You are a strange man Fraz...

**IGLannister**

Maybe the fat bastard needs to lose a few pounds.

**snurl**

Maybe the kid needs to learn some respect.

We made fun of teachers too when I was a kid, but never to their faces. We knew better.