Forum adverts like this one are shown to any user who is not logged in. Join us by filling out a tiny 3 field form and you will get your own, free, dakka user account which gives a good range of benefits to you: No adverts like this in the forums anymore. Times and dates in your local timezone. Full tracking of what you have read so you can skip to your first unread post, easily see what has changed since you last logged in, and easily see what is new at a glance. Email notifications for threads you want to watch closely. Being a part of the oldest wargaming community on the net. If you are already a member then feel free to login now.

So in the last month Mrs. Kyoto got her US driver's license and today she started work.

"Honey I'm so proud of you!"
"You mean you weren't proud of me before?"
"Uh... yeah, remember how I always used to introduce you as 'this is my wife, pay no attention to her, she doesn't have a job or a driver's licence' now I won't do that anymore."
So she slaps me.

Women! I mean what do they want from us huh?

Your stories of you and the misses always make me chuckle. If you were a youtube channel, Id subscribe

Well, Like most guys I don't understand them, and its very confusing to talk to them. They don't tell you what they want. They just sit there, and expect you to know what they want.

Then their symbols or showing their interest etc. They really aren't good at it sometimes. (No I don't want to talk about it.)
Apart from that some women I know are fun and great to be around.

Ive been married a few years, and still am confused with women. Example


Wife - Im so figging hungry
me - oh yea me too
Wife - Im craving BurgerKing
me - uh...ok that sounds alright lets get some

-we arrive at BK-

me - and Id like that with little ice
- I look at the wife -
me - Sow now that I gave my entire order what do you want?
wife - I dunno


Face to palm gentlemen..... face to palm

Why is it just the three of us? I iz sad....
Well anyway here is one from me as a youngster....

Me: So let me get this straight, you like him, and he likes you, but you don't want to be with him, because you like him?

Girl : Yeah!

Me: You know that makes zero sense to any right minded human being right?

Girl: Wait what do you mean?

Me: Okay heres my attempt at being a father figure. For example I like this girl, just throwing that out there, and she likes me, she does not want to be with me even though we both like each other, but she kinda does, but she says no I don't want to, because I like you too much. What does this make of this situation should of the girl said yes i would like to be with you?

Girl: Yes she should of that bitch!

Me: then your question has been answered in one fall swoop of your own mouth.

Girl: Wait? Oh crap,

ME: Exactly, this means you want to date him, so date him.

Girl: damn it, I don't want to.

Me: Then don't!

Girl: But I kinda want to.

Me: Gosh dang it. Decide already!

Girl: He is kinda hot, and such, but I don't know, but I really like him and I want to be with him.

Me: OH god damn it. *picks up a cell phone.* Hey dude So and So likes you and wants to date you okay here she is.

Girl: Damn it now I have too!

Me: Good my job is done. *walks away*

(If only every situation worked out like this)

Being wishy washy is hardly a feminine trait.

It's frustrating no matter which gender it is. Ever faced the horror of knowing two friends who were that way... and liked eachother?

Dear Emperor, the awkwardness could be used as a physical weapon.

Asherian Command wrote:Why is it just the three of us?

I go to university, I'm broke, and I spend my summers at my mother’s house in her basement playing with little plastic space men... the math is not so hard.

Melissia wrote:Being wishy washy is hardly a feminine trait.

It's frustrating no matter which gender it is. Ever faced the horror of knowing two friends who were that way... and liked eachother?

Dear Emperor, the awkwardness could be used as a physical weapon.

I would stop and disagree with you...

But I just spent a half hour trying to decide which kind of pointy stick to give my toy soldiers.

I think I have to sleep on it.

Ma55ter_fett wrote:

Asherian Command wrote:Why is it just the three of us?

I go to university, I'm broke, and I spend my summers at my mother’s house in her basement playing with little plastic space men... the math is not so hard.

Ze Math does not lie!

Women are hard to decipher. The ones I really don't get are the ones who continue to stay in relationships with absolute gaks who treat them terribly and always yell at them. Now, I would gladly beat the living gak out these donkey-caves if I didn't have a strong desire to avoid jail at all costs. I prefer a girl who looks for intrisinc qualities, if she's only superficial, she's too shallow to be worth it.

Stormrider wrote:

Ma55ter_fett wrote:

Asherian Command wrote:Why is it just the three of us?

I go to university, I'm broke, and I spend my summers at my mother’s house in her basement playing with little plastic space men... the math is not so hard.

Ze Math does not lie!

Women are hard to decipher. The ones I really don't get are the ones who continue to stay in relationships with absolute gaks who treat them terribly and always yell at them. Now, I would gladly beat the living gak out these donkey-caves if I didn't have a strong desire to avoid jail at all costs. I prefer a girl who looks for intrisinc qualities, if she's only superficial, she's too shallow to be worth it.

I just want a girl who's friendly, good-looking and wants to have coitus with me, yeah I'm a pretty simple (and shallow) guy.

Cheesecat wrote:

Stormrider wrote:

Ma55ter_fett wrote:

Asherian Command wrote:Why is it just the three of us?

I go to university, I'm broke, and I spend my summers at my mother’s house in her basement playing with little plastic space men... the math is not so hard.

Ze Math does not lie!

Women are hard to decipher. The ones I really don't get are the ones who continue to stay in relationships with absolute gaks who treat them terribly and always yell at them. Now, I would gladly beat the living gak out these donkey-caves if I didn't have a strong desire to avoid jail at all costs. I prefer a girl who looks for intrisinc qualities, if she's only superficial, she's too shallow to be worth it.

I just want a girl who's friendly, good-looking and wants to have coitus with me, yeah I'm a pretty simple (and shallow) guy.

Well, coitus is the cherry on top (or bottom). If she's attractive and a good person? You've found a rare breed there.

Stormrider wrote:

Cheesecat wrote:

Stormrider wrote:

Ma55ter_fett wrote:

Asherian Command wrote:Why is it just the three of us?

I go to university, I'm broke, and I spend my summers at my mother’s house in her basement playing with little plastic space men... the math is not so hard.

Ze Math does not lie!

Women are hard to decipher. The ones I really don't get are the ones who continue to stay in relationships with absolute gaks who treat them terribly and always yell at them. Now, I would gladly beat the living gak out these donkey-caves if I didn't have a strong desire to avoid jail at all costs. I prefer a girl who looks for intrisinc qualities, if she's only superficial, she's too shallow to be worth it.

I just want a girl who's friendly, good-looking and wants to have coitus with me, yeah I'm a pretty simple (and shallow) guy.

Well, coitus is the cherry on top (or bottom). If she's attractive and a good person? You've found a rare breed there.

I found nice and pretty girls but they're already taken, don't want any guilt on their conscience and/or don't view me as a sexual partner.

There's a simple, biological reason for the confusion between genders. Women have 2 X chromosomes. Men have one X chromosome and one Y chromosome. Therefore, we can only understand women half the time, resulting in us only understanding half of their intentions or messages, leaving us confused.

What is a, wimmins?

Kid_Kyoto wrote:So in the last month Mrs. Kyoto got her US driver's license and today she started work.

"Honey I'm so proud of you!"
"You mean you weren't proud of me before?"
"Uh... yeah, remember how I always used to introduce you as 'this is my wife, pay no attention to her, she doesn't have a job or a driver's licence' now I won't do that anymore."
So she slaps me.

Women! I mean what do they want from us huh?

When Miss Sebster tries something like that I just ask 'is that what you want to do today, have an argument?'

Girls don't like to think they're setting trap questions, but they really know they are. Telling them directly that they're setting a trap question reminds them of the point, and gets them to rethink if they really want the hour long argument that's going to follow.

NEVER, EVER try to understand women. They are living proof of chaos theory...

Mick

Mick A wrote:NEVER, EVER try to understand women. They are living proof of chaos theory...

Mick

Thing is, guys also make no damn sense at all. It's just that we're not trying to have sex with guys, so we don't care when guys make no sense.

I disagree Seb, I think men are very simple creatures conpared to women. They are a mystery to me, men seem relatively uniform, we like the simple life. Women are useless at everything physical and I think as a result have developed unusually complex psychological profiles! We find girls we like, they find men they want to change!? What's that all about? All my mates birds are the same, its all "yeah we have so much OB common I like everything about you" and then when you move in or marry, suddenly they don't like the old you and the rules change! Even my missus tries it to some degree.

I love the way modern wimmin are in denial of the physical thing too. Hollywood has managed to convince women they can beat the gak out of us all! My missus watches some movie like Charlie's angels or some gak then tries to "compete", she comes to the gym with me and she Is pretty fit and lean as it goes, she must weigh about 105?

She can only do 5 chin ups, she's gak at running, she can do about ten push ups. I try my best to train her but she sobs as soon as she has to grit her teeth, but as soon as I mention this in front of people she denys it all.

Women really are weird compared to us!

mattyrm wrote:I disagree Seb, I think men are very simple creatures conpared to women. They are a mystery to me, men seem relatively uniform, we like the simple life. Women are useless at everything physical and I think as a result have developed unusually complex psychological profiles! We find girls we like, they find men they want to change!? What's that all about? All my mates birds are the same, its all "yeah we have so much OB common I like everything about you" and then when you move in or marry, suddenly they don't like the old you and the rules change! Even my missus tries it to some degree.

I love the way modern wimmin are in denial of the physical thing too. Hollywood has managed to convince women they can beat the gak out of us all! My missus watches some movie like Charlie's angels or some gak then tries to "compete", she comes to the gym with me and she Is pretty fit and lean as it goes, she must weigh about 105?

She can only do 5 chin ups, she's gak at running, she can do about ten push ups. I try my best to train her but she sobs as soon as she has to grit her teeth, but as soon as I mention this in front of people she denys it all.

Women really are weird compared to us!

I've got mates who think they're sporting superstars, when they're completely crap. I've got mates who think they're lethal combat warriors because they've read Soldier of Fortune twice. I've got mates who think they're geniuses, despite dropping out of college and working dead end retail jobs.

Dudes are weird too, if you ever stop to really look at them. It's just, why would you bother, you just laugh, call them an idiot and get on with your day.

But the missus, you want to keep having sex with her so you can't just mock her and move on. So you start noticigng how crazy she really is.

sebster wrote:
When Miss Sebster tries something like that I just ask 'is that what you want to do today, have an argument?'

Girls don't like to think they're setting trap questions, but they really know they are. Telling them directly that they're setting a trap question reminds them of the point, and gets them to rethink if they really want the hour long argument that's going to follow.

well said.

I know plenty of CrossFit women who are way, way fitter than most blokes, by more or less any measure of fitness.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ufVcD2_2dXg

(Skip to about 1:10 if you don't want to listen to the interview bit and want to get straight on to women doing muscle-ups, heavy deadlifts, kettlebell work, etc.)

I think it's iffy to generalize that "women are physically weaker" or "women are more emotional/complex/whatver." There's a huge variation in people. Personally I prefer to associate with people who are physically and mentally strong, and who don't tolerate manipulative or bitchy behaviour, whether male or female. That is the minority, but I've not spotted a particular correlation between those qualities and the sex of the person concerned.

Kid_Kyoto wrote:"Honey I'm so proud of you!"
"You mean you weren't proud of me before?"
"Nope.

End of conversation.

Then again, I like to have fun with crap like this and my wife doesn't take it too seriously. I try to tell my single friends about my policy of "don't deal with the drama", but they steadfastly refuse to listen.

sebster wrote:

Mick A wrote:NEVER, EVER try to understand women. They are living proof of chaos theory...

Mick

Thing is, guys also make no damn sense at all. It's just that we're not trying to have sex with guys, so we don't care when guys make no sense.

Most guys aren't at any rate.

i noticed that women would suggest, ask for your opinion, consult, argue, compare, dowse, read the stars, coerce and manipulate

rather than directly ask you to do something.

"this room is a little messy dont you think?"

saying "Yes" and walking away is a perfectly acceptable and logical response to that question

I really loathe the part of women that always like to make everything more complicated. And even you didn't do anything the automaticaly believe a rumor or something. Of course this is high school. (Which sucks by the way.)
The so called American High School is the greatest.... Well if your super high alot then yes it will be (until you get caught). But if you are a regular person then it will be like living in hell.

Make things more complicated? It was already complicated and you just didn't know it yet, or just didn't want to admit it to yourself.

Asherian Command wrote: *story of him and girl talking about her liking but not liking someone*

I know what you mean. This girl in my town seems to hate me, but at the same time seems to like me to. It's very perplexing, though I have posted the story enough times I wont do it again on you guys.

Oh and:




*Ducks*

Asherian Command wrote:I really loathe the part of women that always like to make everything more complicated. .

i used to think that but now i think its more that they dont immediately decide on an action because theyre trying to consider all the variables

while most men just decide and deal with the consequences later on

Melissia wrote:Make things more complicated? It was already complicated and you just didn't know it yet, or just didn't want to admit it to yourself.

You know I've told that time and time again. But the thing is I am what cha call them a Situational Realist. I see a situation and I know how to fix it in a few easy steps. Unfortunately sometimes these things are so simple so people do not see them and do not use them, because they didn't think.

Only two things bug me about the opposite gender.
1. Expecting me to know exactly what they're thinking/wanting at a specific moment. Giving an indication of this is apparently unacceptable.
2. The aforementioned trap questions. Phrasing something in such a way that I have no option but to appear hurtful. The few women I've called out on this insist that 'trap' questions are not intended. It is a failing on my part.

Disclaimer: These views stem from CadianXV's experiences only and should in no way be taken to represent the wider views of men/Dakka. Furthermore the views expressed should not be taken to apply to all women, merely the select group CadianXV has interacted with. /Melissiashield