Wimmin, amirite?

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**mattyrm**

sebster wrote:
mattyrm wrote:I disagree Seb, I think men are very simple creatures conpared to women. They are a mystery to me, men seem relatively uniform, we like the simple life. Women are useless at everything physical and I think as a result have developed unusually complex psychological profiles! We find girls we like, they find men they want to change!? What's that all about? All my mates birds are the same, its all "yeah we have so much OB common I like everything about you" and then when you move in or marry, suddenly they don't like the old you and the rules change! Even my missus tries it to some degree.

I love the way modern wimmin are in denial of the physical thing too. Hollywood has managed to convince women they can beat the gak out of us all! My missus watches some movie like Charlie's angels or some gak then tries to "compete", she comes to the gym with me and she Is pretty fit and lean as it goes, she must weigh about 105?

She can only do 5 chin ups, she's gak at running, she can do about ten push ups. I try my best to train her but she sobs as soon as she has to grit her teeth, but as soon as I mention this in front of people she denys it all.

Women really are weird compared to us!

I've got mates who think they're sporting superstars, when they're completely crap. I've got mates who think they're lethal combat warriors because they've read Soldier of Fortune twice. I've got mates who think they're geniuses, despite dropping out of college and working dead end retail jobs.

Dudes are weird too, if you ever stop to really look at them. It's just, why would you bother, you just laugh, call them an idiot and get on with your day.

But the missus, you want to keep having sex with her so you can't just mock her and move on. So you start noticigng how crazy she really is.

This seems to be wise council..

**Melissia**

Asherian Command wrote:
Melissia wrote:Make things more complicated? It was already complicated and you just didn't know it yet, or just didn't want to admit it to yourself.

You know I've told that time and time again. But the thing is I am what cha call them a Situational Realist. I see a situation and I know how to fix it in a few easy steps. Unfortunately sometimes these things are so simple so people do not see them and do not use them, because they didn't think.

Or you just don't see the entire situation?

I know how to fix situations too, but one has to be willing to admit that you only know how to fix the situation... as you know it. Which is not necessarily the whole situation, nor is it necessarily the REAL situation.

**notprop**

I was a bit late home from work on monday.

The mrs: why were you late

Me: dropped off some flowers to mums for a belated mothers day.

The mrs: You never got me any flowers!

Me: You specifically asked for none as they are over priced for mothers day, I made you a beautiful card instead as requested (and it truely was).

The mrs: RAGE!!

[sound of door closing and foot steps on gravel path as I make my way to the pub]

Snakes with bewbs the lot of them. Present company excepted of course.

**BuFFo**

Kid_Kyoto wrote:Women! I mean what do they want from us huh?

Security.

**Avatar 720**

BuFFo wrote:
Kid_Kyoto wrote:Women! I mean what do they want from us huh?

Security.

That's what they want us to think. They just say it to try and make us feel important.

**Samus_aran115**

Kid_Kyoto wrote:So in the last month Mrs. Kyoto got her US driver's license and today she started work.

"Honey I'm so proud of you!"
"You mean you weren't proud of me before?"
"Uh... yeah, remember how I always used to introduce you as 'this is my wife, pay no attention to her, she doesn't have a job or a driver's licence' now I won't do that anymore."
So she slaps me.

Women! I mean what do they want from us huh?

What's wrong with women these days? Aren't they just happy with standing in the kitchen making sandwiches?

**asimo77**

I don't get how you guys are so confused. Women are just people like men, I don't find it that hard (or harder) to interact with them.

**Grakmar**

notprop wrote:I was a bit late home from work on monday.

The mrs: why were you late

Me: dropped off some flowers to mums for a belated mothers day.

The mrs: You never got me any flowers!

Me: You specifically asked for none as they are over priced for mothers day, I made you a beautiful card instead as requested (and it truely was).

The mrs: RAGE!!

[sound of door closing and foot steps on gravel path as I make my way to the pub]

Snakes with bewbs the lot of them. Present company excepted of course.

This one is totally your fault. No one wants a present they have to specifically ask for. People want a present that is exactly what they want and that is given totally unsolicited.

Your wife had to say she didn't want flowers even though she did, because she wanted you to get her flowers, but didn't want to tell you what to get.

Next time, buy her flowers no matter what she says. And, get her a card on top of it.

**notprop**

Marry her and buy her flowers - Pass!

**Micromegas**

I know all about the flower thing.

Woman says she hates flowers. Why get a gift that will die? Etc. I mean, that is her argument. But then immediately castrates me when I don't get her flowers.

Eventually, I caved in [a mistake, fellows.] and bought her a ton of flowers. She really digs Plants V. Zombies so I got a ton of sun flowers, plus some irises, roses, tulips, etc.

Then she proceeded to get mad at me.

Tch.

I was once told that perhaps its not so much that its women [lol, ya rite, amirite?] as it is the gender-difference. I mean, that guys are mystic to women too and, of course, vice versa.

I still doubt that theory.

Oh and whoever was mentioning high school, its high school. I'm not sure if you can appreciate the wide-sweeping meaning of that statement, but you will once you get out. It's just high school. Be her friend and let her do whatever, if you really care about her. Even if you ended up with her it would just end in a train wreck or something equally appropriate and dramatic for high school. Best of luck.

**micahaphone**

There was a thread of "Things you don't understand about the opposite gender" a while back. Let me sum it up to save you all, especially Melissa, a lot of time:

Humans don't understand each other, but we are more likely to forgive our own gender out of some school-kid like immaturity that turns everything into a competition, and certain people have been raised to look at competition in different ways.

**Chowderhead**

Alright, so I walked up to my girlfriend during lunch, put my arm around her, and said, "What's up?" The entirety of the table looked at her, she nodded, and they all left.

"Matthew, you're a nice guy, but I don't think I'm ready yet. We should... probably see other people."

She dropped the bombshell 5 days into out dating. I shook hands with her, Never met her parents. Dammit, I never even saw her damned house.

And she was my 1st GF. Go me!

Another gem:
It was a summer party at the park. Boys vs Girls chestnut trowing fight. I got a great one off, right into her... well.... Let's just say that chestnut got to second base, and stayed there. Everyone stopped and stared at me. Thankfully, I had a back up plan.

RUN

She finally caught up to me and slapped me so hard I broke 2 of my fingers falling.

**Kilkrazy**

notprop wrote:I was a bit late home from work on monday.

The mrs: why were you late

Me: dropped off some flowers to mums for a belated mothers day.

The mrs: You never got me any flowers!

Me: You specifically asked for none as they are over priced for mothers day, I made you a beautiful card instead as requested (and it truely was).

The mrs: RAGE!!

[sound of door closing and foot steps on gravel path as I make my way to the pub]

Snakes with bewbs the lot of them. Present company excepted of course.

The moral of this tale is that you should always put some more skulls on the card.

**Battle Brother Lucifer**

Chowderhead wrote:Alright, so I walked up to my girlfriend during lunch, put my arm around her, and said, "What's up?" The entirety of the table looked at her, she nodded, and they all left.

"Matthew, you're a nice guy, but I don't think I'm ready yet. We should... probably see other people."

She dropped the bombshell 5 days into out dating. I shook hands with her, Never met her parents. Dammit, I never even saw her damned house.

And she was my 1st GF. Go me!

Another gem:
It was a summer party at the park. Boys vs Girls chestnut trowing fight. I got a great one off, right into her... well.... Let's just say that chestnut got to second base, and stayed there. Everyone stopped and stared at me. Thankfully, I had a back up plan.

RUN

She finally caught up to me and slapped me so hard I broke 2 of my fingers falling.

Thats one more than me

I have a similar story.
I took the easy way out for fall sports durring my 1 year at a private middle school. It was called 'Outdoor Adventures' (rofl)
On one of the camp-outs, I was joking around with my friend and his gf (only ones in my grade in the group, everyone else younger) and I forgot what I said but I got slapped ( happened a lot ) and I jokingly said, "If you slap me again I'll pants you!"
She did. I did.

It hurt to pee for the rest of that weekend >///<

**Chowderhead**

Battle Brother Lucifer wrote:
Chowderhead wrote:Alright, so I walked up to my girlfriend during lunch, put my arm around her, and said, "What's up?" The entirety of the table looked at her, she nodded, and they all left.

"Matthew, you're a nice guy, but I don't think I'm ready yet. We should... probably see other people."

She dropped the bombshell 5 days into out dating. I shook hands with her, Never met her parents. Dammit, I never even saw her damned house.

And she was my 1st GF. Go me!

Another gem:
It was a summer party at the park. Boys vs Girls chestnut trowing fight. I got a great one off, right into her... well.... Let's just say that chestnut got to second base, and stayed there. Everyone stopped and stared at me. Thankfully, I had a back up plan.

RUN

She finally caught up to me and slapped me so hard I broke 2 of my fingers falling.

Thats one more than me
I have a similar story.
I took the easy way out for fall sports durring my 1 year at a private middle school. It was called 'Outdoor Adventures' (rofl)
On one of the camp-outs, I was joking around with my friend and his gf (only ones in my grade in the group, everyone else younger) and I forgot what I said but I got slapped ( happened a lot ) and I jokingly said, "If you slap me again I'll pants you!"
She did. I did.

It hurt to pee for the rest of that weekend >///<

Is my response.

**Witzkatz**

Chowderhead wrote:

Another gem:
It was a summer party at the park. Boys vs Girls chestnut trowing fight. I got a great one off, right into her... well.... Let's just say that chestnut got to second base, and stayed there. Everyone stopped and stared at me. Thankfully, I had a back up plan.

RUN

She finally caught up to me and slapped me so hard I broke 2 of my fingers falling.

I think this is the second or third time I've read this story here, and every time I'm thinking: WHAT THE FETH? First: What kind of person engages in a chestnut fight and is surprised when she's hit at torso-height? Second: Why was running away necessary? In every similar situation I've been everyone was able to laugh about it. I cannot fathom what in this situation caused such a rage in this girl?! What kind of psychopath is she that she slapped you for this? It's...it's like you have a watergun fight with friends and hit someone and that someone is so enraged by this unexpectable act that he/she proceeds by getting a nailgun out and shooting you in revenge. Could it be that you hang out with really the wrong people?

**Asherian Command**

Be a man and hide on a roof! Oh wait thats what I do......

I laughed when alot of girls are now getting attracted to me after I said "I do Parkour, and its no thanks to my Martial Arts."

I laugh at the fact I have never actually had a true girl friend because I haven't even tried to yet. (Thats not true, I did, I failed.)

**Ketara**

Why has this thread changed from, 'Manly misunderstandings of the opposite gender' to 'inadequacies of teenagers with the opposite sex'?

**Battle Brother Lucifer**

Ketara wrote:Why has this thread changed from, 'Manly misunderstandings of the opposite gender' to 'inadequacies of teenagers with the opposite sex'?

The old men had to have their pudding so the teens took it over?
And/or Melissia killed them all?

**Emperors Faithful**

Ketara wrote:Why has this thread changed from, 'Manly misunderstandings of the opposite gender' to 'inadequacies of teenagers with the opposite sex'?

It always does, no?

**Medium of Death**

wimmin' should only speak when spoken to...

**Chowderhead**

Witzkatz wrote:
Chowderhead wrote:

Another gem:
It was a summer party at the park. Boys vs Girls chestnut trowing fight. I got a great one off, right into her... well.... Let's just say that chestnut got to second base, and stayed there. Everyone stopped and stared at me. Thankfully, I had a back up plan.

RUN

She finally caught up to me and slapped me so hard I broke 2 of my fingers falling.

I think this is the second or third time I've read this story here, and every time I'm thinking: WHAT THE FETH? First: What kind of person engages in a chestnut fight and is surprised when she's hit at torso-height? Second: Why was running away necessary? In every similar situation I've been everyone was able to laugh about it. I cannot fathom what in this situation caused such a rage in this girl?! What kind of psychopath is she that she slapped you for this? It's...it's like you have a watergun fight with friends and hit someone and that someone is so enraged by this unexpectable act that he/she proceeds by getting a nailgun out and shooting you in revenge. Could it be that you hang out with really the wrong people?

She was a massive bitch. She's a friend's Girlfriend, I hate her, but put up with her bitchness.

And the Red October may have been exiting the cave...

**micahaphone**

So does one of these threads pop up every 5 months or so?

**Chowderhead**

micahaphone wrote:So does one of these threads pop up every 5 months or so?

They're like zombie threads, mate.

**micahaphone**

Chowderhead wrote:
micahaphone wrote:So does one of these threads pop up every 5 months or so?

They're like zombie threads, mate.

Then why do you contribute to each one?

**Cheesecat**

micahaphone wrote:
Chowderhead wrote:
micahaphone wrote:So does one of these threads pop up every 5 months or so?

They're like zombie threads, mate.

Then why do you contribute to each one?

Well, I contribute to "opposite gender" threads because they entertain me even if they're a little stupid at times. Zombie threads however bore me even though I like zombies.

**Asherian Command**

Cheesecat wrote:
micahaphone wrote:
Chowderhead wrote:
micahaphone wrote:So does one of these threads pop up every 5 months or so?

They're like zombie threads, mate.

Then why do you contribute to each one?

Well, I contribute to "opposite gender" threads because they entertain me even if they're a little stupid at times. Zombie threads however bore me even though I like zombies.

Yes I like these threads. They are actually benefiting me personally.
My stupid problems thus far are that I don't talk to girls with any type of relationship.

**Kid_Kyoto**

Ketara wrote:Why has this thread changed from, 'Manly misunderstandings of the opposite gender' to 'inadequacies of teenagers with the opposite sex'?

This just a general, all purpose wimmin thread. I see no problem there.

It is of course grossly unfair to mock how someone speaks a foreign language, especially when you're going from Japanese to English. There is no 'si' sound in Japanese only an 'shi' sound.

So I must not laugh when Mrs. Kyoto says her legs hurt from tea ceremony class where they must do Japanese-style 'shi'-tting all day.

Must not laugh...

Automatically Appended Next Post:

micahaphone wrote:So does one of these threads pop up every 5 months or so?

Probably because at least one of us is having some sort of issue with the opposite sex at any given time.

So long as these are all in fun they're cool.

**Cheesecat**

Kid_Kyoto wrote:
Ketara wrote:Why has this thread changed from, 'Manly misunderstandings of the opposite gender' to 'inadequacies of teenagers with the opposite sex'?

This just a general, all purpose wimmin thread. I see no problem there.

It is of course grossly unfair to mock how someone speaks a foreign language, especially when you're going from Japanese to English. There is no 'si' sound in Japanese only an 'shi' sound.

So I must not laugh when Mrs. Kyoto says her legs hurt from tea ceremony class where they must do Japanese-style 'shi'-tting all day.

Must not laugh...

Automatically Appended Next Post:

micahaphone wrote:So does one of these threads pop up every 5 months or so?

Probably because at least one of us is having some sort of issue with the opposite sex at any given time.

So long as these are all in fun they're cool.

Or people are gaining or learning something out of these threads.

**Slarg232**

micahaphone wrote:There was a thread of "Things you don't understand about the opposite gender" a while back. Let me sum it up to save you all, especially Melissa, a lot of time:

Humans don't understand each other, but we are more likely to forgive our own gender out of some school-kid like immaturity that turns everything into a competition, and certain people have been raised to look at competition in different ways.

Good times, good times.

Ok, so here is one; I work with this woman from Florida (might be California? One of the two). We had this huge inspection coming up, and she just dumps a bunch of gak in my area, and tells me to clean it up. Not having the time to muck about with her about it (The Inspection was schedualed for 1:00, and it was 1:15, or rather, borrowed time), I just put it all away and get it ready to get inspected.

The next day (today), I was being gentlemanly and helping her out previously, because she lacked the room to hold the products in her area, she's pregnant, and I just enjoy being nice to even the ineligable ladies. Anyway, I'm running out of room myself, and I grab the stuff I was helping her with, stuck it in her area, told her I "Stuck it in your area, but don't have time to work on it myself".

And in comes the Whining and obvious disapproval

So it's ok for her to just dump stuff on me, but I can't give it back to her, without adding anything of my own on it.....