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This is a theory postulated, and well supported by evidence, by a friend of mine. I wish I could claim credit for this, but I lack the sheer rage and creativity to spawn such epic tales.

The reason Matt Ward is able to write what ever he wants and break the game so much has to deal with the secret inner workings of GW. For as long as the halls of Games Workshop have stood, time honored traditions have been held dearly by codex writers and their less kin, the sculptors. One such tradition was a gladitorial duel over rule imbalance disputes. The rite of such battles was hardly ever evoked as such challenges of honor are serious matters.

In came a new comer to the honorific codex writers, the young Matt Ward. Jervis Johnson taught the young one well of forethought and balance. Ward wrote the Wood Elf book and was mightily proud, but a challenger stepped forward. He claimed the forest spirits too strong and invoked the right of duel. Matt Ward accepted being young and foolhardy. He was soundly defeated and saw his forest spirits lose their ward save to magic weapons. He felt the sting of defeat. He rubbed the dirt of the arena in his own face to wash the stain of shame from his face. Though many would claim the change a small balancing aspect, it stained his pride. His anger turned him sour and blossomed hatred of all other things that he did not hold dear.

Matt Ward trained in secret. He mastered the gladiatorial combat and learned of dark things that were never to be know before. He began probing the rules of the fights and learned to exploit them. He heard whispers of power promised unto him if he would commit foul deeds. So he decreed it would be done.

The man who had challenged him before brought forth a new codex. The Dark Eldar it read across it's cover. It was declared art. Matt Ward approached it and it's author who stood radiant in praise. The room fell deadly silent as their eyes met. Matt Ward let words fall from his lips. "Death Pit," he spoke, barely a whisper, but sinister to it's core. Awe and shock spread as his vile tongue stilled.

Matt Ward lunged forward, grabbing the codex writer by the throat and leaped with but one hand on the man and in a single leap, landed in the middle of the arena. Ward threw the man to the ground and drew his weapon before his prey, a bladed gauntlet. No one was prepared for what they saw. Mathew held back nothing. In a matter of moments the man was obliterated and all of his work destroyed. His name was purged and forgotten. Matt Ward had forever scarred the sacred battle ground, it was now the Death Pit. And he was it's master.

He began experiencing the power of it. He was unstoppable. Any who dared to enter against him would be lucky to live, and grateful for death. His death pit actions caused the free rocket launchers for tactical marine squads, ironclad dreadnaughts and the worship of his favored chapter, the Ultramarines, by all other space marines. But as his ecstasy came, he found it left him too quickly. He wrote daemons and his old master came to challenge him. Jervis fought well and lectured his pupil in his hubris, demanding that he release his power, but his words fell on deaf ears. Jervis lowered his guard and let Matt Ward defeat him. He was banished from codex writing and was to lose every game he ever played again. But as the daemons were published, Matt found that none would dare play them, lest they become a douchebag and he felt his power wane. So his next codex he wrote what insanity whispered to him. Flying librarian dreadnaughts, Feel No Pain bubbles and the Sanguinor, an avatar of himself. He thrashed the fluff as viciously as he could to make them as unbeatable as their rules were. Allessio Cavatore and Gav Thorpe both issued Death Pit to the terror that Matt Ward had become, but were both swiftly defeated. Allesio was forced to lick his wounds else where while Gav found sanctuary from Dan Abbnet.

Matt Ward continues his rampage as he writes codex after codex. The mad powers continue to fuel him in the Death Pit and see that he is never defeated.

This spawned some Chuck Norrisy jokes between us as follows: (I'm actually responsible for some of this)

Matt Ward has only lost in the death pit once. Soon after, the squats were never heard from again...

Abbadon and his crusades are an imperial conspiracy to cover up Cadia's true purpose: To hold back Matt Ward from declaring death pit on the universe.

The Dropsite Massacre is Matt Ward's most epic death pit to date.

What is more deadly than a cornered Matt Ward in Death Pit? Nobody knows. Matt Ward has never been cornered.

Matt Ward once wandered what it would be like to lose Death Pit. The result was Wood Elves.

There were originally 21 codex writers. Two of them challenged Matt Ward to Death Pit. Their names were completely erased and forbidden to be spoken of since.

It was actually Matt Ward who destroyed Horus. Right before Horus struck the killing blow Matt Ward jumped into the room and declared Death Pit. Horus and his soul were instantly annihilated. Matt Ward is so humble he gave the Emperor credit for the kill. The Emperor afterward told Matt Ward that he totally had it and that he didn't need his help. The Emperor has sat on the Golden Throne since.

Matt Ward declared is Imperial Law that any act of cowardice would be personally settled by him in the Death Pit. Commissars execute those unworthy of the honor of fighting Matt Ward.

The Hive Mind rage quit the galaxy when Matt Ward created Necrons.

Matt Ward declared death pit on the Eldar god Khaine. To celebrate his victory he held the most awesome party ever and all the Eldar were invited. The intense pleasure from the orgy with him spawned Slannesh, created the Eye of Terror and destroyed the Eldar empire. Their last words were, "worth it."

So spread the word, and beware of Matt Ward for he can Death Pit at any time.

Although it was long, drawn out and totally unnecessary given the copious amount of 'anti-wardism.' Understanding it was also given the self-important smugness of delivery, worthy of the minutia of Dennis Miller...

...it was better than the "MW Suxxorz!" posts most purplecrayon-scrawl across forums of fandom.

Well played sir. Well played.

Connor McKane wrote:Although it was long, drawn out and totally unnecessary given the copious amount of 'anti-wardism.' Understanding it was also given the self-appreciating, smugness of delivery, worthy of the minutia of Dennis Miller...

...it was better than the "MW Suxxorz!" posts most purplecrayon-scrawl across forums of fandom.

Well played sir. Well played.

I was going to say something similar, but I felt I already knew what to expect with the thread title.

Then let that be an end to it. To the depths I say!

Connor McKane wrote:Then let that be an end to it. To the depths I say!

Here here!

Connor McKane wrote:Although it was long, drawn out and totally unnecessary given the copious amount of 'anti-wardism.' Understanding it was also given the self-important smugness of delivery, worthy of the minutia of Dennis Miller...

...it was better than the "MW Suxxorz!" posts most purplecrayon-scrawl across forums of fandom.

Well played sir. Well played.

Rule #1. You don't want to have a laugh, fine. Calling me smug and self-important is an attack.

Surtur wrote:

Connor McKane wrote:Although it was long, drawn out and totally unnecessary given the copious amount of 'anti-wardism.' Understanding it was also given the self-important smugness of delivery, worthy of the minutia of Dennis Miller...

...it was better than the "MW Suxxorz!" posts most purplecrayon-scrawl across forums of fandom.

Well played sir. Well played.

Rule #1. You don't want to have a laugh, fine. Calling me smug and self-important is an attack.

What about Mat Ward's feelings? No one seems to care about Mat Ward's feelings.

So you would compare parody to an attack of character?

Surtur wrote:

Connor McKane wrote:Although it was long, drawn out and totally unnecessary given the copious amount of 'anti-wardism.' Understanding it was also given the self-important smugness of delivery, worthy of the minutia of Dennis Miller...

...it was better than the "MW Suxxorz!" posts most purplecrayon-scrawl across forums of fandom.

Well played sir. Well played.

Rule #1. You don't want to have a laugh, fine. Calling me smug and self-important is an attack.

Sorry, I must be in the wrong place... because I thought that you wanted some sort of response. Did you honestly think that the only response would be swooning masses? You have evry right to comment, complain or contest any and or all of my posts at any time. It is the way of things...

But it is also very rude of you not to have taken the time to read my post, given that 'I' took the time to read 'Your' post. Because, if you had taken the time, you would see that at no time do I make any reference to you in any way.

I will call them as I see them. Have a super day.


Automatically Appended Next Post:

Surtur wrote:So you would compare parody to an attack of character?

I believe it is satire. Not parody.

I think we can assume that Mr. Surtur's post was, in essence, essentially meant in good humour.

In general if a post like this is not to your liking, your much better off simply ignoring it or not commenting upon it.

Let's not get into a big argument over this, it's really not worth it is it ?

I like Matt, He bought me a Pint of beer.

"Although it was long, drawn out and totally unnecessary given the copious amount of 'anti-wardism.'"

Opinion. I can respect you don't like this, this is not the issue.

"Understanding it was also given the self-important smugness of delivery, worthy of the minutia of Dennis Miller... "

And how did I misinterpret this? How was this not to be seen as a personal attack? You said I was smug and self-important. Saying I'm better than "MW Suxxorz" is basically saying "At least the fall didn't kill you." The person could have broken every bone, lost a limb or just been shaken. Putting such a low standard out and saying at least you aren't that isn't some compliment handed down from on high.

It does seem like a good amount of time was placed into it, and it is well written, but the content is tired and less than palletable.

It isn't worth an argument, reds8n, you are 100% correct there.

I believe it is also true that the overwhelming majority of posters on Dakka DO in fact want to engage in discourse.

As long as it is civil, which it is very much so, I believe that I have the right to engage in a dialogue with any and all who wish to share a thread with me.

In this particular case I believe that the OP is entitled to his opinion, he does not like Matt Ward.

I am entitled to mine, I like Matt Ward.

...thus we discuss.

Agreed?

**********************************

You say: "And how did I misinterpret this? How was this not to be seen as a personal attack? You said I was smug and self-important. Saying I'm better than "MW Suxxorz" is basically saying "At least the fall didn't kill you." The person could have broken every bone, lost a limb or just been shaken. Putting such a low standard out and saying at least you aren't that isn't some compliment handed down from on high."

Sorry your feelings are hurt by my criticism of your post... but it is valid, and others may or may not agree. But there it is, so I will bid you adieu.

Goodnight sweet prince, and may a flight of angels sing thee to thy rest.

Tauzor wrote:I like Matt, He bought me a Pint of beer.

Bribery I say!

Pilau Rice wrote:

Tauzor wrote:I like Matt, He bought me a Pint of beer.

Bribery I say!

would that really be so bad?

Blitza da warboy wrote:

Pilau Rice wrote:

Tauzor wrote:I like Matt, He bought me a Pint of beer.

Bribery I say!

would that really be so bad?

I dunno, is a pint worth having to sit next to Mat(t)

I kid, i've never met the guy before, I heard he bought someone a beer once ...

I guess we were overdue another Mat Ward thread weren't we? For what it's worth this one is a *tiny* bit more original than the others but its still re-treading very tired ground.

L. Wrex

This was funny and well thought out.

I've got nothing against Matt, but this was quite humorous.

However, you nearly ruined it with this bit of pandering...

Surtur wrote:So the story kinda gives you the idea of what the Death Pit is. I embellished it to make it more palatable to writing. Now if you can imagine someone screaming "DEATH PIT!" over any ridiculous idea Matt Ward came up with you can kinda see where this is going. The idea is that Matt Ward gets away with his BS because he can kill anyone in the death pit and how he basically wants to write himself in as the Emperor because he's so awesome. This spawned some Chuck Norrisy jokes between us as follows: (I'm actually responsible for some of this)

Totally unnecessary and destroys the flow of the piece. Don't explain yourself. Trust your words and your readers to follow the narrative and understand what comes afterwards.

So what would happen if draigo declared death pit on ward? O.o

The only thing missing is the Deep "Mortal Kombat" voice declaring the winner.

That was fantastic.

Well written and executed.

It was very good right up until the part where he explained the joke.

Yeah. I was with you, and even thought this was funny, until you stopped to explain it. And regurgitate Chuck Norris jokes.

When you post an attack on someone (whether parody or not) you have to expect a negative response. If you don't feel like you can handle that, then it would probably be better not to post it.

That being said, I wish I could meet Matt Ward. I never understand what all the fuss is about, and everytime someone asks why no one likes him, the thread is immediately locked.

People hate Mat Ward for some of his codexes. That's it really.

Best thing i ever read, funny to

Goddard wrote:Most people hate Mat Ward because they like riding on the bandwagon. A handful actually know and understand the changes he has made and perceive them to have a negative impact on the game/fluff. That's it really.

Fixed that for you

I think that Matt Ward's writing is actually underrated. His codices are always interesting, and offer multiple solid competitive builds as well as tons of semi-competitive and 'friendly' builds that are fun to play. If there's too many choices for you, I recommend picking up the CSM codex. Better still, drop 40k and play rock, paper, scissors instead.

His fluff is only bad if you're drinking the haterade. Hate is the new cool, after all. Frankly, I'm sure most people who whine about it haven't even read any of his codices. Admittedly, the Ultramarine love gets old after a while, but I guess I understand the need for a single unified 'poster child' for the army.

That is a humorous, albeit ridiculous tale you have spun.