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I told my girlfriend i loved her today, and she said she really really really liked me. i asked her why she didnt love me back, and she said she didnt know what love is, more specifically, how do you know your in love? not scientificly, more spiritually. btw i am her first boyfriend, we are both 16. sorry if you older folks are looking at this shaking your heads, but i really do think i love her. any answers?
Sorry, i had too. Answer: You don't... just say it when it feels right. Annoyingly enough there isn't a word for inbetween like and love...
This message was edited 1 time. Last update was at 2012/02/12 01:30:51
Dakka Bingo! By Ouze "You are the best at flying things"-Kanluwen
"Further proof that Purple is a fething brilliant super villain " -KingCracker
"Purp.. Im pretty sure I have a gun than can reach you...."-Nicorex
"That's not really an apocalypse. That's just Europe."-Grakmar
"almost as good as winning free cake at the tea drinking contest for an Englishman." -Reds8n
Seal up your lips and give no words but mum.
Equip, Reload. Do violence.
Watch for Gerry.
Depends. There are different types of love and different theories on how one acheive love.
You could be companionate or passionate.
But your 16. its most likely the love for play. or she could be on her way to loving you but isnt there yet.
Also remember this. Butterflies in your stomach is never good. its always a bad omen
This is one of those situations where both of you could very well be right. You might be mistaking infatuation for love; she might be in love but not be able to realize it. And at your age, both of you lack the experience to talk about in a meaningful way. Screwing this up is how you will gain some of that experience. It sucks, but that's the way it goes.
My best advice for you is just let it ride and enjoy things while they last. You've been honest with her, and she seems to have been honest with you (think about it, how hard would it have been for her to lie? Not terribly, right?). That right there is a step in the right direction for both of you. Even if this falls apart because of your conversation, at least neither of you lied to the other. That's worth a lot more than you think it is right now. Ask anyone whose boy/girlfriend cheated on them how they felt when the lies were discovered.
The odds are so far against a high-school relationship lasting into adulthood that I wouldn't sweat it. Over the next ten years, you are going to change - mentally, emotionally, finanically, even physically! - far more than you could believe, and she will too. It is unlikely that both of you will change in mutually compatable ways, and tying to force it to work just makes the breakup even more painful. When it does fall apart, it will hurt for a while, then the hurt will fade, then you'll meet someone else who will make it go away. Wash, rinse, repeat; probably all the way thorough high school and college well into your adult years.
And never give up. Just because it's not working out now doesn't mean it won't ever work out. My uncle just got engaged for the first time; just recently met a woman with whom it felt right and proper.
He's 62 this year. There is no such thing as too old for love.
EDIT: Hotsauceman1, butterflies in the stomach are perfectly NORMAL under the circumstances. Few people have your iron-clad self assurance, and most of us get the butterflies all the time, even within a well-established relationship. It's how you know you're not taking her for granted; one of the most fatal mistakes one can EVER make in a relationship. If you don't feel butterflies periodically, think long and hard about your current relationship, and if you've been doing your share in maintaining it.
ONE MORE EDIT: MonsterofFenris, cherish this relationship. Even though the first one almost never lasts, it will always be special.
This message was edited 2 times. Last update was at 2012/02/12 01:48:43
She isn't calling you creepy, having her friends gang bang you, or getting an entire town to hate your guts.
I think your doing fairly well.
And yes, that is my personal experiance with my High School "Sweet Heart". Ask anyone in the DCM program how much I have bitched about what she did and is continuing to do to me.
I've never feared Death or Dying. I've only feared never Trying.
Joey wrote:Ah, first love. Never rated it myself but it's sweet.
Do you play guitar? Write a song about it. Don't ask for help on a wargaming forum.
Indeed...
Why talk about it, when you can rap about it!
Dakka Bingo! By Ouze "You are the best at flying things"-Kanluwen
"Further proof that Purple is a fething brilliant super villain " -KingCracker
"Purp.. Im pretty sure I have a gun than can reach you...."-Nicorex
"That's not really an apocalypse. That's just Europe."-Grakmar
"almost as good as winning free cake at the tea drinking contest for an Englishman." -Reds8n
Seal up your lips and give no words but mum.
Equip, Reload. Do violence.
Watch for Gerry.
Joey wrote:Ah, first love. Never rated it myself but it's sweet.
Do you play guitar? Write a song about it. Don't ask for help on a wargaming forum.
Indeed...
Why talk about it, when you can rap about it!
I couldn't find that clip on youtube. I think bbc have shut down all the uploaded clips. You can view the entire episode though.
Here we go
Dakka Bingo! By Ouze "You are the best at flying things"-Kanluwen
"Further proof that Purple is a fething brilliant super villain " -KingCracker
"Purp.. Im pretty sure I have a gun than can reach you...."-Nicorex
"That's not really an apocalypse. That's just Europe."-Grakmar
"almost as good as winning free cake at the tea drinking contest for an Englishman." -Reds8n
Seal up your lips and give no words but mum.
Equip, Reload. Do violence.
Watch for Gerry.
Ahh, Here we go, Triangle theory of love, I prefer wheel theory because its less rigid and more fluid then the triangle but the triangle theory has its strengths(thats right, love is a geometry problem)
Tell me youngling, which one are you?
Spoiler:
Nonlove "refers simply to the absence of all three components of love. Nonlove characterizes the large majority of our personal relationships, which are simply casual interactions."[3]
Liking/friendship is "used here in a nontrivial sense. Rather, it refers to the set of feelings one experiences in relationships that can truly be characterized as friendship. One feels closeness, bondedness, and warmth toward the other, without feelings of intense passion or long-term commitment."[4]
Infatuated love: "infatuation results from the experiencing of passionate arousal in the absence of intimacy and decision/commitment...like Tennov's limerance."[5] Romantic relationships often start out as infatuated love and become romantic love as intimacy develops over time. Without developing intimacy or commitment, infatuated love may disappear suddenly.
Empty love is characterized by commitment without intimacy or passion. A stronger love may deteriorate into empty love. In an arranged marriage, the spouses' relationship may begin as empty love and develop into another form, indicating "how empty love need not be the terminal state of a long-term relationship...[but] the beginning rather than the end."[6]
Romantic love "derives from a combination of the intimate and passionate components of love...romantic lovers are not only drawn physically to each other but are also bonded emotionally"[7] - bonded both intimately and passionately, but without sustaining commitment.
Companionate love is an intimate, non-passionate type of love that is stronger than friendship because of the element of long-term commitment. "This type of love is observed in long-term marriages where passion is no longer present"[8] but where a deep affection and commitment remain. The love ideally shared between family members is a form of companionate love, as is the love between close friends who have a platonic but strong friendship.
Fatuous love can be exemplified by a whirlwind courtship and marriage - "fatuous in the sense that a commitment is made on the basis of passion without the stabilizing influence of intimate involvement."[9]
Consummate love is the complete form of love, representing an ideal relationship toward which people strive. Of the seven varieties of love, consummate love is theorized to be that love associated with the “perfect couple.” According to Sternberg, these couples will continue to have great sex fifteen years or more into the relationship, they cannot imagine themselves happier over the long-term with anyone else, they overcome their few difficulties gracefully, and each delight in the relationship with one other.[10] However, Sternberg cautions that maintaining a consummate love may be even harder than achieving it. He stresses the importance of translating the components of love into action. "Without expression," he warns, "even the greatest of loves can die."[11] Thus, consummate love may not be permanent. If passion is lost over time, it may change into companionate love.
Not, Taken from wikipedia, it roughly the same as what i learned.
@vulcan thanks man it means alot
@everyoneelse thanks for the comments, and that cat/bag picture lol i just thought id ask the people im most similar too
@personaskingifiplayguitar i do play guitar, and i do write songs, but i find it hard to find the right words.
@trianglepostingguy i talk to her alot, and we talk all the time. we are both in a small town in the midwest, so that significantly raises the chances that this will last a while longer. and i feel like im a respectful and sensite guy. i kinda hit all of the corners on the triangle :/ lol
MonsterofFenris wrote:I told my girlfriend i loved her today, and she said she really really really liked me. i asked her why she didnt love me back, and she said she didnt know what love is, more specifically, how do you know your in love? not scientificly, more spiritually. btw i am her first boyfriend, we are both 16. sorry if you older folks are looking at this shaking your heads, but i really do think i love her. any answers?
MonsterofFenris wrote:I told my girlfriend i loved her today, and she said she really really really liked me. i asked her why she didnt love me back, and she said she didnt know what love is, more specifically, how do you know your in love? not scientificly, more spiritually. btw i am her first boyfriend, we are both 16. sorry if you older folks are looking at this shaking your heads, but i really do think i love her. any answers?
Name a fully built Warlord Titan after her, this will surely win her over.
Wargaming forum advice.
"The Imperium is nothing if not willing to go to any lengths necessary. So the Trekkies are zipping around at warp speed taking small chucks out of an nigh-on infinite amount of ships, with the Imperium being unable to strike back. feth it, says central command, and detonates every vortex warhead in the fleet, plunging the entire sector into the Warp. Enjoy tentacle-rape, Kirk, we know Sulu will." -Terminus
"This great fortress was a gift to the Blood Ravens from the legendary Imperial Fists. When asked about it Chapter Master Pugh was reported to say: "THEY TOOK WHAT!?""
Oh, the young love! This makes me smile all over my little silly face! <3
I don't think there's really any definitive answer to when you can be sure you feel love towards someone. It's a gut feeling. And if it feels right, then it might just be so!
:: I'm not suffering from insanity; I'm enjoying every minute of it! ::
MonsterofFenris wrote:I told my girlfriend i loved her today, and she said she really really really liked me. i asked her why she didnt love me back, and she said she didnt know what love is, more specifically, how do you know your in love? not scientificly, more spiritually. btw i am her first boyfriend, we are both 16. sorry if you older folks are looking at this shaking your heads, but i really do think i love her. any answers?
The problem is that love really is a collection of chemicals in the brain, influencing how we feel and think. The spiritual part is basically us trying to make sense of those chemicals.
For instance, I bet you think of her all the time yeah? Like she’s only ever a second from your thoughts? Well that’s serotonin running around in your brain, which makes you fixate on her like in an almost OCD like way. There’s a bunch of other chemicals, all associated with different parts of what we consider love. It’s basically evolution’s way of making sure there’s another generation of people.
The trick is that all those chemicals come and go over time, so what might now feel like the most complete, all-consuming emotion can just be utterly non-existent next week. It’s how you treat each other when you’re not caught up in all those chemicals that really matters, and it’s from there that a real, lasting relationship can form.
So how do you know if it’s real love when you’re still caught up with all those emotions, before things have settled down into the real, nitty gritty of a relationship? You don’t, you can’t really.
“We may observe that the government in a civilized country is much more expensive than in a barbarous one; and when we say that one government is more expensive than another, it is the same as if we said that that one country is farther advanced in improvement than another. To say that the government is expensive and the people not oppressed is to say that the people are rich.”
Adam Smith, who must have been some kind of leftie or something.
MonsterofFenris wrote:I told my girlfriend i loved her today, and she said she really really really liked me. i asked her why she didnt love me back, and she said she didnt know what love is, more specifically, how do you know your in love? not scientificly, more spiritually. btw i am her first boyfriend, we are both 16. sorry if you older folks are looking at this shaking your heads, but i really do think i love her. any answers?
The problem is that love really is a collection of chemicals in the brain, influencing how we feel and think. The spiritual part is basically us trying to make sense of those chemicals.
For instance, I bet you think of her all the time yeah? Like she’s only ever a second from your thoughts? Well that’s serotonin running around in your brain, which makes you fixate on her like in an almost OCD like way. There’s a bunch of other chemicals, all associated with different parts of what we consider love. It’s basically evolution’s way of making sure there’s another generation of people.
The trick is that all those chemicals come and go over time, so what might now feel like the most complete, all-consuming emotion can just be utterly non-existent next week. It’s how you treat each other when you’re not caught up in all those chemicals that really matters, and it’s from there that a real, lasting relationship can form.
So how do you know if it’s real love when you’re still caught up with all those emotions, before things have settled down into the real, nitty gritty of a relationship? You don’t, you can’t really.
This sums it up nicely. what most consider love is really just simple biological attraction. We humans are a narcissistic race and therefor like think love is something more.
Love is the 5-30 minutes after sex. Everything else is the parts of TV show characters lives they leave on the cutting room floor (or don't bother writing).
Avatar 720 wrote: You see, to Auston, everyone is a Death Star; there's only one way you can take it and that's through a small gap at the back.
Powder Burns wrote:what they need to make is a fullsize leatherman, like 14" long folded, with a bone saw, notches for bowstring, signaling flare, electrical hand crank generator, bolt cutters..
Bleak_Fantasy wrote:This sums it up nicely. what most consider love is really just simple biological attraction. We humans are a narcissistic race and therefor like think love is something more.
I didn't want to imply that people can't have love. I'm in a loving, long term relationship right now. It's just that those really intense feelings that we call love are very different to the feelings of love that build over time.
“We may observe that the government in a civilized country is much more expensive than in a barbarous one; and when we say that one government is more expensive than another, it is the same as if we said that that one country is farther advanced in improvement than another. To say that the government is expensive and the people not oppressed is to say that the people are rich.”
Adam Smith, who must have been some kind of leftie or something.
MonsterofFenris wrote:I told my girlfriend i loved her today, and she said she really really really liked me. i asked her why she didnt love me back, and she said she didnt know what love is, more specifically, how do you know your in love? not scientificly, more spiritually. btw i am her first boyfriend, we are both 16. sorry if you older folks are looking at this shaking your heads, but i really do think i love her. any answers?
She doesn't love you.
She's evil. Not really.
Its ok. You're 16. You're relationships should be lasting about one to two months anyway.
Party hard and don't look back.
Automatically Appended Next Post:
purplefood wrote:
Joey wrote:Ah, first love. Never rated it myself but it's sweet.
Do you play guitar? Write a song about it. Don't ask for help on a wargaming forum.
Indeed...
Why talk about it, when you can rap about it!
This is wisdom. Its also an excellent way to get more babes.
This message was edited 1 time. Last update was at 2012/02/13 12:05:04
-"Wait a minute.....who is that Frazz is talking to in the gallery? Hmmm something is going on here.....Oh.... it seems there is some dispute over video taping of some sort......Frazz is really upset now..........wait a minute......whats he go there.......is it? Can it be?....Frazz has just unleashed his hidden weiner dog from his mini bag, while quoting shakespeares "Let slip the dogs the war!!" GG
-"Don't mind Frazzled. He's just Dakka's crazy old dude locked in the attic. He's harmless. Mostly."
-TBone the Magnificent 1999-2014, Long Live the King!
Chowderhead wrote:I consider the point where the divorce starts when you can tell your wife about the strip club you went to, and she shrugs.
Corrected your typo.
-"Wait a minute.....who is that Frazz is talking to in the gallery? Hmmm something is going on here.....Oh.... it seems there is some dispute over video taping of some sort......Frazz is really upset now..........wait a minute......whats he go there.......is it? Can it be?....Frazz has just unleashed his hidden weiner dog from his mini bag, while quoting shakespeares "Let slip the dogs the war!!" GG
-"Don't mind Frazzled. He's just Dakka's crazy old dude locked in the attic. He's harmless. Mostly."
-TBone the Magnificent 1999-2014, Long Live the King!
But, It have to say this. I have seen people who have meet in highschool still together. But granted those are rare.
I think love will be where you grow to tolerate the other person. Like Homer and marge.
" -KingCracker
5000pts 
6000pts 
3000pts
3000+
Death Company, Converted Space Hulk Termies
More have died in the name of normality than ever for strangeness. Beware of normal people.