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Hello there forum!
Since this is my first actual topic, don't start yelling at me if I got the poll thing wrong. If I did, I'm sorry, just tell me what I did wrong.
Anyways, as the title points out, I am creating an entirely new army that I am currently working on a codex for. If you want the Codex up in this topic, mention it in the replies. I'll see what I can do. You can probably guess the name of the race (if you have no idea, look at the sig). They're Super Heavy Elite; you can just about fit in 2 troops and a HQ into a 500 pointer game, but they are completely and utterly kickass. They're psykers too. Psychic powers ftw, baby! Don't have any illustrations for them yet, if you are willing to have a go and/or are a natural artist, I would be grateful for anything you send. They are humanoid in form, have cat's eyes, ears and a long, prehensile tail. They have a thin layer of fur that can be any colour (midnight blue with black spots in a cheetah pattern, for an example), but on colder planets they have much thicker fur which tends to be much darker on colour and shade, and characteristic fluff on their ear. If you have ever seen a cat with ears like that, you will know what I mean.
They are relatively new to the Milky Way. Scratch that, very new. They have pretty much set up shop on the Imperium's back door and are hoping to barter their way to relative safety, using some rather fascinating blueprints from the Dark Age of Technology that the Magi on Mars will be very interested in...
They're good friends with the Grey nights, after a mix up with them, a Grey Knight company and an Daemon invasion. They're friendly with most of the other Chapters as well, but tend to be wary in case the Space Marines change their minds... The Imperial Guard are (naturally) terrified of them, as they are all psykers, but are rather odd in the way the draw their power. They get it form a "private" dimension, which they call the Shadow Dimension. The Imperium calls it Dimension 3 or The Void. This new race does worship the Emperor, which the Ecclesiarchy are delighted about, but do have a deity which they spend a lot of time praying to.
That's about all I have for you guys, creative criticism and interesting comments are appreciated, and thanks for taking the time to look at and read this post.
Mynameisalie, out.

Wait, so let's get this straight:

Furry, super-psychic, super elite friends with everyone?

How does this fit into the current universe or fill a gap in any of the lines?

Also, proposed rules, I guess?

If they are new to the milky way how do they have blue prints of things from the dark age of technology?

I dont think they would make friends with the grey knight, the grey knights are not ones who play nice with others it takes a lot to not have them beat the crap out of you, since you said they come from a place called "The void" the GK would just see that as the warp and kill them.

I dont think this race would even be able to make friends with Any human race at all. the imperium hate any thing that is not human or descended from humans. This could work as a pirate group but not an ally group

Yeah... no offence but this doesn't fit into the whole 'in the grim darkness of the 41st millenium there is only war' very well.

And why are they afraid of marines if they are better than them?

Sorry, but it just doesn't seem like a very well thought out idea in terms of fitting with the universe. All I can imagine are those (imo) super-happy stupid manga cat people 'emos' are obsessed with.


Von Chogg

(P.S this was not a dig at anyone, simply my opinions )

Ooh, Dakka fiction. Good choice, mystery Mod!

pretre wrote:
Furry, super-psychic, super elite friends with everyone?

How does this fit into the current universe or fill a gap in any of the lines?

Also, proposed rules, I guess?

What he said lol. This game has enough super elite armies already- its gotten so bad that Space Marines, the supposed super elite of the galaxy are so run of the mill in the player base that GW has to release Grey Knights to feel like an "elite" army. Its a mess. I mean thats pretty much what the Grey Knights are, super elite and super psychic- except they hate everybody.

Also whats up with being friends with the GK. Most Space Marine chapters according to the fluff don't even know about them- how would some dirty Xenos? (lets face it, to the IoM all Xeno are dirty). The closest I can see would be some ties to a few radical inquisitors- in the way that Jokero can be put in henchmen squads. Also being good friends with the GK is like having a pencil sharpener for a girlfriend- either way it'll end in a bloody mess.

Also being friends with the IoM defeats the purpose of the fluff entirely. In large part the fluff is created to JUSTIFY armies fighting. Thats why in many cases even in imperial codexes they talk about all of the disagreement between imperial factions- like Space Wolves opposing the Inquisition, and Sisters of Battle for instance. That way you can more easily justify why the Space Marines are battling Eldar, or even Imperial Guard. Having fluff that says "We are brotatoes with GK" is terrible because that means there isn't a fluff justification for a battle with GK. See what I mean?

The other problem is your Niche is taken. Super Psychic Super Elite is already filled by Codex Eldar, and Codex Dark Eldar and Codex Necrons also are pretty high tech elite armies.

Right now the main problem with the Lynx is that they don't offer anything new to the universe, and you need to work on your fluff to make them an interesting chapter. If truth be told nobody likes reading about Grey Knights because they are too goody two-shoes. Reading about how perfect somebody is just a bore. Your back story would be far better off if the Lynx weren't super elite or super psychic, and had some serious problems and dark secrets to add intrigue to them.

I knew I was going to get some bull for this...
They're NEW. That's the entire point of this. Plus, did anyone even read the part with the Grey Knights and the Lynx had to fight off a Daemon infestation bigger than any other since the Horus Heresy. Mutual respect has grown into friendship.
I'm still trying to patch up things within the codex itself, the Dark Age stuff is cause they're quite far into the Milky Way, and by "a very short time" I mean a couple of centuries. Plenty of time to discover quite a few lost relics. The only reason they were discovered in the first place is cause of a tremor they accidentally set off a psychic tremor when "crystallising" their now home planet. Their other one was devoured. By Tyranids. Typical.
The reason why they are scared of Space Marines is because there is literally only a few planetfuls of them left. First Tyranids came and wrecked their peace in another galaxy, then on the way here they got some by Daemons. Greater Daemons. They had to get very tough to survive. But seriously, if the Imperium did want to crush them, they could have done it already. They haven't as the Lynx are... different. The Imperium could learn a lot from them, if they gave them a chance, which they have. One and only one. They screw up, the Lynx are dead.
Manga? No. Happy? Quite the opposite. Bedraggled, battle weary (slightly odd-looking) humans that have been dragged to hell and back is more of an accurate description.
Best I can do guys. And I did ask nicely for creative criticism, not to be assaulted by angry 40k fans. Sheesh, cut me some slack. I'm new here!

akaean wrote:

pretre wrote:
Furry, super-psychic, super elite friends with everyone?

How does this fit into the current universe or fill a gap in any of the lines?

Also, proposed rules, I guess?

What he said lol. This game has enough super elite armies already- its gotten so bad that Space Marines, the supposed super elite of the galaxy are so run of the mill in the player base that GW has to release Grey Knights to feel like an "elite" army. Its a mess. I mean thats pretty much what the Grey Knights are, super elite and super psychic- except they hate everybody.

Also whats up with being friends with the GK. Most Space Marine chapters according to the fluff don't even know about them- how would some dirty Xenos? (lets face it, to the IoM all Xeno are dirty). The closest I can see would be some ties to a few radical inquisitors- in the way that Jokero can be put in henchmen squads. Also being good friends with the GK is like having a pencil sharpener for a girlfriend- either way it'll end in a bloody mess.

Also being friends with the IoM defeats the purpose of the fluff entirely. In large part the fluff is created to JUSTIFY armies fighting. Thats why in many cases even in imperial codexes they talk about all of the disagreement between imperial factions- like Space Wolves opposing the Inquisition, and Sisters of Battle for instance. That way you can more easily justify why the Space Marines are battling Eldar, or even Imperial Guard. Having fluff that says "We are brotatoes with GK" is terrible because that means there isn't a fluff justification for a battle with GK. See what I mean?

The other problem is your Niche is taken. Super Psychic Super Elite is already filled by Codex Eldar, and Codex Dark Eldar and Codex Necrons also are pretty high tech elite armies.

Right now the main problem with the Lynx is that they don't offer anything new to the universe, and you need to work on your fluff to make them an interesting chapter. If truth be told nobody likes reading about Grey Knights because they are too goody two-shoes. Reading about how perfect somebody is just a bore. Your back story would be far better off if the Lynx weren't super elite or super psychic, and had some serious problems and dark secrets to add intrigue to them.

They have a few secrets, all right... Quite a few. They've had a dark past.

Mynameisalie wrote:They're NEW. That's the entire point of this. Plus, did anyone even read the part with the Grey Knights and the Lynx had to fight off a Daemon infestation bigger than any other since the Horus Heresy. Mutual respect has grown into friendship.

No, we got that. So basically, the IoM and the GKs, which has spent 10,000 years hating Xenos and Mutants is now buddy buddy with the Super Elite Furries because they fought the OMG biggest daemon incursion ever? Yeah...

Manga? No. Happy? Quite the opposite. Bedraggled, battle weary (slightly odd-looking) humans that have been dragged to hell and back is more of an accurate description.
Best I can do guys. And I did ask nicely for creative criticism, not to be assaulted by angry 40k fans. Sheesh, cut me some slack. I'm new here!

Criticism is what it is. You post something publicly, you will get feedback. We are being honest. The answer to your question is 'No'. It doesn't fit the setting and does not add any value to the setting, fill any gaps or anything else. Super Elite Furries would probably not be added if sent to GW.

Mynameisalie wrote:They have a few secrets, all right... Quite a few. They've had a dark past.

Well, right now their past is so secret that it is boring. Super Elite Furries with no downside other than small numbers has no real hook or grimdarkness.

Even Tau have the weird Ethereal mind-control thing going for them. You have 'low population'. Eldar have that one covered already.

I'm so sick and tired of the "Grim Dark" Banner being raised in 40k. It bores me to hear how people get upset about something not FITTING into a fantasy universe.

With that said, a furry pyschic uber race of Wookie seems just like a Xenos version of GK.

Milisim wrote:I'm so sick and tired of the "Grim Dark" Banner being raised in 40k. It bores me to hear how people get upset about something not FITTING into a fantasy universe.

Dark fantasy universe. Whether you like grimdark or not is really irrelevant. It is a shorthand to describe the way the universe works.

With that said, a furry pyschic uber race of Wookie seems just like a Xenos version of GK.

Fuzzy Grey Eldar Knights?

You guys are forcing me to think on my feet here.
And It's hard. Very hard.
Erm...
Ok fine. U think it's a bad idea, I'll go ahead anyway and just do the damn Codex and the stupid army. Should have never bothered with this. No-one has anything positive to say about any of my posts, let it be minecraft, Warhamer or even bloody YouTube. I just wanted to do something worth of value in my pointless ridiculous life. I wanted do make something personal. That's all I wanted! Why can no-one ever respect that?! I just want to make a contribution! Even if it is not very good... I only want my ideas to be accepted.

Mynameisalie wrote:You guys are forcing me to think on my feet here.
And It's hard. Very hard.
Erm...
Ok fine. U think it's a bad idea, I'll go ahead anyway and just do the damn Codex and the stupid army. Should have never bothered with this. No-one has anything positive to say about any of my posts, let it be minecraft, Warhamer or even bloody YouTube. I just wanted to do something worth of value in my pointless ridiculous life. I wanted do make something personal. That's all I wanted! Why can no-one ever respect that?! I just want to make a contribution! Even if it is not very good... I only want my ideas to be accepted.

Okay, this may come across harshly, but I mean this in the best way possible.

Real life does not have a lot of participation awards. Unlike school where everyone gets to 'win' just for showing up, in real life this is not the case. If you want your contribution to be valued, you must do something of value. Simply putting out the first thing that comes to mind and hoping everyone 'accepts' it is not enough.

We are not trying to pull you down for the purpose of pulling you down. We legitimately think that this is a poor idea and have told you why. You are free to still create the codex and army, etc. so on. Go for it; live the dream! Just understand that no one is obligated to say 'Wow, that's awesome!' just because it was created.

TLDR: This is real life. If you want praise, do great things. Participation is not enough.

Mynameisalie wrote:You guys are forcing me to think on my feet here.
And It's hard. Very hard.
Erm...
Ok fine. U think it's a bad idea, I'll go ahead anyway and just do the damn Codex and the stupid army. Should have never bothered with this. No-one has anything positive to say about any of my posts, let it be minecraft, Warhamer or even bloody YouTube. I just wanted to do something worth of value in my pointless ridiculous life. I wanted do make something personal. That's all I wanted! Why can no-one ever respect that?! I just want to make a contribution! Even if it is not very good... I only want my ideas to be accepted.

Yes, but we aren't nessisarily going to take your ideas seriously or accept them, if they lack detailed background and a good hook, as previously mentioned. Its all very good that you have come up with an army idea, but the army has to be good, you get no points for devotion or enthusiasm. Your ideas will be accepted, when people deem them good enough to be.

If you post your ideas and ask for criticism that is what you will receive...
In this case the criticism revealed your idea was less than stellar.
I had a whole thing to do ripping into your OP but there's little point now since others have done it...
You could alter your idea to fit with canon a bit more or you could scrap it entirely and choose a different avenue to take your creativity down.
You could write background for other lesser known parts of the Imperium or an Imperial Guard regiment. You could tell the tale of an Eldar Craftworld or a Tau Sept...
Ultimately you can do what you like but if you ask for criticism be prepared to recieve it.

Here's the thing, the reason why the don't have a history is because I literally came on this forums, described the most i could make up about them at the time and posted it. I have 6 pages of Codex waiting in the wings, and I am just trying to keep my head above water by making as much stuff up about them as possible. Besides, I can't appease to everyone at once. Pretty much every other stature or appearance I could think of was already taken, so I fell back to the "Manga cat-people" thing.
Has anyone here converted a publisher document to a pdf file btw? I need to know; it would be much easier cause then people wouldn't have to get the Caslon Antique font to read it well.

We don't care about your history on Dakka. We care about the quality of your work.

So far, the quality of that work is poor, in our opinion.

You can convert it to Publisher or Cut and Paste it here, but if it is similar to this we probably won't be so down.

Also, how to publish as PDF:

http://office.microsoft.com/en-us/publisher-help/save-a-publication-as-a-pdf-file-or-an-xps-file-HA010064386.aspx

pretre wrote:Also, how to publish as PDF:

http://office.microsoft.com/en-us/publisher-help/save-a-publication-as-a-pdf-file-or-an-xps-file-HA010064386.aspx

Thx. I'll see if I can include a quick link to what I have done so far.

Lynx Codex
click that link. Should take you to the codex. It's not finished, but here you go.
should have done this at the start...
And it surprises me how many people have replied to this in an hour...

Okay, I almost never comment on Fandexes, but I'll give it a shot here, rq:

- Page 1, replace element points with Warp Charge and simply say that they can choose X powers per mastery level. Replace psyker level with Mastery level.

- Page 2 'Acadameus Duellius' avoid the fake latin for this race. That's the Imperium's thing. Find some other schtick. Try to avoid duplicating the name of already existing special rules (precise shot is really close to Precision Shot)
Can we avoid the 'just like X, but more powerful' on every page? GW, and most players, are never going to dig this race with their own god who is just like the Emperor but more powerful and female.

- Page 3: Metapsykers... Do IG even believe in Hell?

- Page 5: Most of the powers are pretty low powered for what they do except for the healing spells. Also, again do not duplicate existing names. 'Cleansing Flame', etc.

- Page 6: Replace all the new types of rules with ones from the BRB. Freezing could be replaced by Blind or Strikedown, etc.

You have a lot of work ahead of you and this doesn't even have a lot of fluff in it.

Also, avoid the Elven/Eldar sounding names like 'Meldarmiriel'. Just sounds elvish.

pretre wrote:Okay, I almost never comment on Fandexes, but I'll give it a shot here, rq:

- Page 1, replace element points with Warp Charge and simply say that they can choose X powers per mastery level. Replace psyker level with Mastery level.

- Page 2 'Acadameus Duellius' avoid the fake latin for this race. That's the Imperium's thing. Find some other schtick. Try to avoid duplicating the name of already existing special rules (precise shot is really close to Precision Shot)
Can we avoid the 'just like X, but more powerful' on every page? GW, and most players, are never going to dig this race with their own god who is just like the Emperor but more powerful and female.

- Page 3: Metapsykers... Do IG even believe in Hell?

- Page 5: Most of the powers are pretty low powered for what they do except for the healing spells. Also, again do not duplicate existing names. 'Cleansing Flame', etc.

- Page 6: Replace all the new types of rules with ones from the BRB. Freezing could be replaced by Blind or Strikedown, etc.

You have a lot of work ahead of you and this doesn't even have a lot of fluff in it.

Thank you. This is what I meant about criticism. Yeah, I think the IG do believe in hell, it's in the codex somewhere.
Didn't know about precision shot or cleansing flame, but I'll change those
I'll replace the element points. they function a little differently though, so should I keep that part in?
Oh and I deliberately made different psyker types. That's where the Shadow Dimension comes in.
And thx for taking the time to look at it.
Oh yes, and I know this will make me sound like a n00b, but, what exactly is "fluff"?

And this now needs to go to Proposed Rules.

Right. Wasn't quite sure where to put it, so I decided here was the best. How do I change it?
Oh, and keep watching this. I'll give you all the completed version of the codex asap. Doing a page a day at the moment. The publisher document is on dropbox, If you want to know.

The Mods already took care of you.

We are being nice here you have not run into the elitists yet.

Im not saying the race its self would not fit in the game, IMO there is no such thing as a race that would not fit into the game. the universe is almost limitless so any thing is possible

But what i dont like is the story you are trying to use. It does not fit at all. like i said first off the IoM would never side with xenos like them unless they had a REALLY good reason.

On the thing about the GK, if there was a daemon invasion bigger then the horus heresy HA the GK alone would not be able to stop it not even if they had the lynx army with them.

IMO the way you could make this race work as as a pirate race or a mercenarie race.

They would not be a super strong race but squads would consist of only like 5 units maybe 7 and they would have lots of gear to work with. High attack and initiative but crappy defense. The idea behind lynx's are they are fast and agile not super burly and brawlers, thats the space marines.

Yeah, that's not bad. Change them to be a edge of the galaxy pirate race. Although then it ends up being very dark eldar-y with High Attack and Initiative and crappy defense.

Back to the drawing board.

Backspacehacker wrote:We are being nice here you have not run into the elitists yet.

Im not saying the race its self would not fit in the game, IMO there is no such thing as a race that would not fit into the game. the universe is almost limitless so any thing is possible

But what i dont like is the story you are trying to use. It does not fit at all. like i said first off the IoM would never side with xenos like them unless they had a REALLY good reason.

On the thing about the GK, if there was a daemon invasion bigger then the horus heresy HA the GK alone would not be able to stop it not even if they had the lynx army with them.

IMO the way you could make this race work as as a pirate race or a mercenarie race.

They would not be a super strong race but squads would consist of only like 5 units maybe 7 and they would have lots of gear to work with. High attack and initiative but crappy defense. The idea behind lynx's are they are fast and agile not super burly and brawlers, thats the space marines.

Point 1: Exactly.
Point 2: Trying to fix that.
Point 3: Right...
Point 4: Hmm... don' really want them to be pirates, but mercenaries are a good idea. Still, they have quite a few characteristics that some aspects of the Imperium would love to study.
Point 5: Pretty much what I made them. They're extremely resilient though. 2 wounds at min so far. Might reduce that to 1. But they have a hell of a lot of gear, but i nerfed them in vehicles. All of them have the Malfunction rule; which makes them do pretty strange stuff. Plus, they don't have tanks. Just walkers and bikes. Their infantry is good enough.