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2015/01/24 12:30:06
Subject: America declares war on British chocolate: we will never surrender!
Not content with destroying valuable boxes of tea, not content with turning their backs on the greatest nation on Earth, not content with inflicting Jar Jar binks on us...
When I say America, I really mean Hershey, when I say war, I mean import ban
But having tasted that god awful Hershey stuff, I feel sorry for Americans having to put up with that!
Anyway, we're not taking this lightly and if anybody can point me to an effigy of Obama (I've already got an American flag to burn ) I'd be grateful.
This will not stand. This aggression will not stand!!
"Our crops will wither, our children will die piteous
deaths and the sun will be swept from the sky. But is it true?" - Tom Kirby, CEO, Games Workshop Ltd
2015/01/24 12:53:05
Subject: Re:America declares war on British chocolate: we will never surrender!
Medium of Death wrote: I can see why they'd attempt to stop superior British sweets getting into the country.
I'm not sure whether talking to Americans about this is the best course of action. They allow Hershey to continue by purchasing their foul products.
Clearly their minds are lost.
Burn the White House down again when?
Cadbury isn't really British anymore, they've changed! Johnny foreigner ruins everything!
In all seriousness Cadbury is part of a relatively big multinational now so won't this Lawsuit be a pretty big thing?
I know what you're saying. I too yearn for the days when the Royal Navy could sail up and down the Chesapeake, striking fear into the hearts of these mangy dogs
Like I said, I've tasted both and I cannot understand the love for Hershey. It's like comparing a flintlock musket to an AK47. Sure, they're both firearms, but you know which one you'd prefer in battle
Automatically Appended Next Post:
usernamesareannoying wrote: take that British chocolate and keep it over there, we don't want that stuff here in America.
god bless Hershey and god bless the USA!
but please do sneak some kit kats over... we're not totally crazy after all.
Is rejecting British chocolate the reason why Americans have superior dentistry to us?
Cadbury's cream eggs are the greatest chocolate product on this planet, but they do rot your teeth.
When it comes to beer, cheese, beard and chocolate, America isn't even in the same league as us
Too give America its due, they do make brilliant Pretzels. The day Snyder stop making pretzels, is the day I wrap myself in the stars and stripes, and take a trip to ISIS's heartland
This message was edited 1 time. Last update was at 2015/01/24 13:13:40
"Our crops will wither, our children will die piteous
deaths and the sun will be swept from the sky. But is it true?" - Tom Kirby, CEO, Games Workshop Ltd
2015/01/24 13:21:05
Subject: America declares war on British chocolate: we will never surrender!
Well, considering that the old Townsend acts really made the former British colonists upset, it makes sense that we have terrible chocolate that we allow you to have to get a taste of the intolerable cruelty that your social betters from long ago bestowed upon our ancestors.
But I digress. I have nothing but love for you guys.
CREEEEEEEEED is my interwebz main man pots & pans!
The Shrouded Lord is my amazing Xeno Brother!
Snurl is my iron horseman!
HappyJew you make me want to say Shabbat Shalom!
Matthew is HIP to be my Dolly Llama!
Sgt. Smudge you are the bread to my butter!
Sing Your Life makes me hit my Hallelujah!
KaptinBadrukk is the Ninja Weatherman of Doom
KommissarKiln is my "Huge Laser" toting soapbox Hero!
Buttery Commissar is made of the good stuff the farmer spreads around!
Verviedi is my spiritual advisor!
2015/01/24 13:25:25
Subject: America declares war on British chocolate: we will never surrender!
I think it's pre-war dentistry that the American's best us at. Certainly with our free healthcare, thanks to our glorious NHS, it's hard to imagine it's nothing beyond a stereotype.
Toffee Crisps could be mistaken for those PBcups? I agree with the person in the article, someone's worryingly poor eyesight is of more concern than their mistaken purchase. I know there's a whole science behind how consumers shop, but do you guys really just shop by packaging colour and not name, weight, shape, or size? That's what Hershey is implying to me...
Mandorallen turned back toward the insolently sneering baron. 'My Lord,' The great knight said distantly, 'I find thy face apelike and thy form misshapen. Thy beard, moreover, is an offence against decency, resembling more closely the scabrous fur which doth decorate the hinder portion of a mongrel dog than a proper adornment for a human face. Is it possibly that thy mother, seized by some wild lechery, did dally at some time past with a randy goat?' - Mimbrate Knight Protector Mandorallen.
Excerpt from "Seeress of Kell", Book Five of The Malloreon series by David Eddings.
"You need not fear us, unless you are a dark heart, a vile one who preys on the innocent; I promise, you can’t hide forever in the empty darkness, for we will hunt you down like the animals you are, and pull you into the very bowels of hell." Iron - Within Temptation
2015/01/24 14:06:55
Subject: Re:America declares war on British chocolate: we will never surrender!
We shall go on to the end. We shall fight in the courts, we shall fight against the distributors that use the seas and oceans, we shall fight with the growing confidence and growing strength in air delivery, we shall defend our market share, whatever the cost may be. We shall fight on the small storefronts, we shall fight on the big box retailers, we shall fight in the fields and in the streets, we shall fight in the factory; we shall never surrender our sweets.
Amidst the mists and coldest frosts he thrusts his fists against the posts and still insists he sees the ghosts.
2015/01/24 14:17:14
Subject: America declares war on British chocolate: we will never surrender!
Like most things there are good US chocolates and good UK chocolates, just as there are bad ones.
Not really sure how one can be confused between chocolates/sweets and brands. Most people have eyes, and many of those people have functioning brains. But hey, good day for lawyers everywhere!
Like most things there are good US chocolates and good UK chocolates, just as there are bad ones.
Not really sure how one can be confused between chocolates/sweets and brands. Most people have eyes, and many of those people have functioning brains. But hey, good day for lawyers everywhere!
Personally, I think that sort of thing really is just an excuse to throw lawsuits around. So what if two companies use the same colour packaging? If one says a name other than the one I want, then I'm not going to buy it. Why? Because as Silver just said: I have eyes and a functioning (for the most part, anyway) brain.
I've lost count of the number of times I went to buy a black Ford and came away with a black Jeep; damn them being the same colour!
Mandorallen turned back toward the insolently sneering baron. 'My Lord,' The great knight said distantly, 'I find thy face apelike and thy form misshapen. Thy beard, moreover, is an offence against decency, resembling more closely the scabrous fur which doth decorate the hinder portion of a mongrel dog than a proper adornment for a human face. Is it possibly that thy mother, seized by some wild lechery, did dally at some time past with a randy goat?' - Mimbrate Knight Protector Mandorallen.
Excerpt from "Seeress of Kell", Book Five of The Malloreon series by David Eddings.
"You need not fear us, unless you are a dark heart, a vile one who preys on the innocent; I promise, you can’t hide forever in the empty darkness, for we will hunt you down like the animals you are, and pull you into the very bowels of hell." Iron - Within Temptation
2015/01/24 14:29:36
Subject: Re:America declares war on British chocolate: we will never surrender!
Cadbury's cream eggs are the greatest chocolate product on this planet, but they do rot your teeth.
We have those here in the US. Cadbury's really easy to get since they're owned by Hershey.
This message was edited 1 time. Last update was at 2015/01/24 14:29:49
You know you're really doing something when you can make strangers hate you over the Internet. - Mauleed
Just remember folks. Panic. Panic all the time. It's the only way to survive, other than just being mindful, of course-but geez, that's so friggin' boring. - Aegis Grimm
Hallowed is the All Pie The Before Times: A Place That Celebrates The World That Was
2015/01/24 14:47:10
Subject: America declares war on British chocolate: we will never surrender!
No force on Earth can keep Americans from eating chocolate.
Klawz-Ramming is a subset of citrus fruit?
Gwar- "And everyone wants a bigger Spleen!"
Mercurial wrote:
I admire your aplomb and instate you as Baron of the Seas and Lord Marshall of Privateers.
Orkeosaurus wrote:Star Trek also said we'd have X-Wings by now. We all see how that prediction turned out.
Orkeosaurus, on homophobia, the nature of homosexuality, and the greatness of George Takei.
English doesn't borrow from other languages. It follows them down dark alleyways and mugs them for loose grammar.
2015/01/24 15:20:33
Subject: America declares war on British chocolate: we will never surrender!
The reason that British chocolate is so tasty is because it's melting point is so close to room temperature that it begins to melt the minute you put it into your mouth. Unfortunately, this means that in the States, the average temperature is a lot higher, resulting in non-refrigerated chocolate melting on the shelves. So the ingredient composition has to be changed with a far higher proportion of sugar and no milk, to prevent it melting on the shop floor.
In other words, it really is nothing for Hersheys to be concerned about. British chocolate could never be sold en-masse to the American public due to its ingredients. But Hersheys, Mars, and the other chocolate producers of the States are continuously locked in a death grip for market share. They consider chocolate to be such serious business, that Games Workshop looks lighthanded by comparison. The chocolate industry is a fascinating one, and so cutthroat that actions like these do not surprise me.
This message was edited 2 times. Last update was at 2015/01/24 15:21:04
2015/01/24 15:33:00
Subject: America declares war on British chocolate: we will never surrender!
Gitzbitah wrote: No force on Earth can keep Americans from eating chocolate.
Except the force at which we eat chocolate with keep us from eating chocolate, read and despair :
Spoiler:
There's no easy way to say this: You're eating too much chocolate, all of you. And it's getting so out of hand that the world could be headed towards a potentially disastrous (if you love chocolate) scenario if it doesn't stop.
Those are, roughly speaking, the words of two huge chocolate makers, Mars, Inc. and Barry Callebaut. And there's some data to back them up.
Chocolate deficits, whereby farmers produce less cocoa than the world eats, are becoming the norm. Already, we are in the midst of what could be the longest streak of consecutive chocolate deficits in more than 50 years. It also looks like deficits aren't just carrying over from year-to-year—the industry expects them to grow. Last year, the world ate roughly 70,000 metric tons more cocoa than it produced. By 2020, the two chocolate-makers warn that that number could swell to 1 million metric tons, a more than 14-fold increase; by 2030, they think the deficit could reach 2 million metric tons.
The problem is, for one, a supply issue. Dry weather in West Africa (specifically in the Ivory Coast and Ghana, where more than 70 percent of the world's cocoa is produced) has greatly decreased production in the region. A nasty fungal disease known as frosty pod hasn't helped either. The International Cocoa Organization estimates it has wiped out between 30 percent and 40 percent of global cocoa production. Because of all this, cocoa farming has proven a particularly tough business, and many farmers have shifted to more profitable crops, like corn, as a result.
Then there's the world's insatiable appetite for chocolate. China's growing love for the stuff is of particular concern. The Chinese are buying more and more chocolate each year. Still, they only consume per capita about 5 percent of what the average Western European eats. There's also the rising popularity of dark chocolate, which contains a good deal more cocoa by volume than traditional chocolate bars (the average chocolate bar contains about 10 percent, while dark chocolate often contains upwards of 70 percent).
For these reasons, cocoa prices have climbed by more than 60 percent since 2012, when people started eating more chocolate than the world could produce. And chocolate makers have, in turn, been forced to adjust by raising the price of their bars. Hershey's was the first, but others have followed suit.
Efforts to counter the growing imbalance between the amount of chocolate the world wants and the amount farmers can produce has inspired a bit of much needed innovation. Specifically, an agricultural research group in Central Africa is developing trees that can produce up to seven times the amount of beans traditional cocoa trees can. The uptick in efficiency, however, might be compromising taste, says Bloomberg's Mark Schatzker. He likens the trade-off to other mass-produced commodities.
Efforts are under way to make chocolate cheap and abundant -- in the process inadvertently rendering it as tasteless as today’s store-bought tomatoes, yet another food, along with chicken and strawberries, that went from flavorful to forgettable on the road to plenitude.
It's unclear anyone will mind a milder flavor if it keeps prices down. And the industry certainly won't mind, so long as it keeps the potential for a gargantuan shortage at bay.
"Sometimes the only victory possible is to keep your opponent from winning." - The Emperor, from The Outcast Dead.
"Tell your gods we are coming for them, and that their realms will burn as ours did." -Thostos Bladestorm
2015/01/24 15:34:34
Subject: America declares war on British chocolate: we will never surrender!
H.B.M.C. wrote: Why would you want American chocolate? Does it even have real sugar, or just more of that corn syrup stuff you force into everything? Eekh!!
The more I read about corn syrup, the more I fear for my teeth.
"Our crops will wither, our children will die piteous
deaths and the sun will be swept from the sky. But is it true?" - Tom Kirby, CEO, Games Workshop Ltd
2015/01/24 15:34:57
Subject: Re:America declares war on British chocolate: we will never surrender!
Ahtman wrote: We shall go on to the end. We shall fight in the courts, we shall fight against the distributors that use the seas and oceans, we shall fight with the growing confidence and growing strength in air delivery, we shall defend our market share, whatever the cost may be. We shall fight on the small storefronts, we shall fight on the big box retailers, we shall fight in the fields and in the streets, we shall fight in the factory; we shall never surrender our sweets.
Agreed - that's the spirit!
I have nothing to offer but milk, sugar, and cocoa solids
"Our crops will wither, our children will die piteous
deaths and the sun will be swept from the sky. But is it true?" - Tom Kirby, CEO, Games Workshop Ltd
2015/01/24 15:36:31
Subject: Re:America declares war on British chocolate: we will never surrender!
Perhaps it would be best if we go back to a "chocolate" is a treat we enjoy once or twice a year.
Mad, I know.
Man, you're just looking to get murdered by America women, aren't you?
You know you're really doing something when you can make strangers hate you over the Internet. - Mauleed
Just remember folks. Panic. Panic all the time. It's the only way to survive, other than just being mindful, of course-but geez, that's so friggin' boring. - Aegis Grimm
Hallowed is the All Pie The Before Times: A Place That Celebrates The World That Was
2015/01/24 15:36:46
Subject: Re:America declares war on British chocolate: we will never surrender!
Perhaps it would be best if we go back to a "chocolate" is a treat we enjoy once or twice a year.
Mad, I know.
Heretic! Burn the witch!
The alternative is too eat that awful Swiss stuff, and that doesn't bear thinking about.
"Our crops will wither, our children will die piteous
deaths and the sun will be swept from the sky. But is it true?" - Tom Kirby, CEO, Games Workshop Ltd
2015/01/24 15:37:36
Subject: America declares war on British chocolate: we will never surrender!
H.B.M.C. wrote: Why would you want American chocolate? Does it even have real sugar, or just more of that corn syrup stuff you force into everything? Eekh!!
The more I read about corn syrup, the more I fear for my teeth.
Regular Sugar feths up your teeth just as much as corn syrup.
The issue with corn syrup, is that it's so fething prevalent in everything we eat/drink.
Live Ork, Be Ork. or D'Ork!
2015/01/24 15:39:51
Subject: America declares war on British chocolate: we will never surrender!
No force on Earth can keep Americans from eating chocolate.
Exactly - even your founding fathers knew the importance of British chocolate to the nation:
A well fed Militia, being necessary to the security of a free State, the right of the people to keep and bear British chocolate, shall not be infringed.
H.B.M.C. wrote: Why would you want American chocolate? Does it even have real sugar, or just more of that corn syrup stuff you force into everything? Eekh!!
The more I read about corn syrup, the more I fear for my teeth.
Regular Sugar feths up your teeth just as much as corn syrup.
The issue with corn syrup, is that it's so fething prevalent in everything we eat/drink.
American sugar feths your teeth up. British sugar is a source of calcium, zinc, Vitamin D, and promotes good oral hygiene. So there!
This message was edited 1 time. Last update was at 2015/01/24 15:41:29
"Our crops will wither, our children will die piteous
deaths and the sun will be swept from the sky. But is it true?" - Tom Kirby, CEO, Games Workshop Ltd
2015/01/24 15:44:06
Subject: America declares war on British chocolate: we will never surrender!
Ketara wrote: The reason that British chocolate is so tasty is because it's melting point is so close to room temperature that it begins to melt the minute you put it into your mouth. Unfortunately, this means that in the States, the average temperature is a lot higher, resulting in non-refrigerated chocolate melting on the shelves. So the ingredient composition has to be changed with a far higher proportion of sugar and no milk, to prevent it melting on the shop floor.
In other words, it really is nothing for Hersheys to be concerned about. British chocolate could never be sold en-masse to the American public due to its ingredients. But Hersheys, Mars, and the other chocolate producers of the States are continuously locked in a death grip for market share. They consider chocolate to be such serious business, that Games Workshop looks lighthanded by comparison. The chocolate industry is a fascinating one, and so cutthroat that actions like these do not surprise me.
For years, I wondered why there was a taste difference, but I read something similar to what your saying, and even the science is on Britain's side.
"Our crops will wither, our children will die piteous
deaths and the sun will be swept from the sky. But is it true?" - Tom Kirby, CEO, Games Workshop Ltd
2015/01/24 15:45:18
Subject: America declares war on British chocolate: we will never surrender!
As a Brit living in the US I rely on my bi-annual care packages from England to save me from having to eat Hershey's wax crap they claim is chocolate.
Yeah they sell "cadbury's" here, under license, but it's not the same. Not even close...
I think it's time for a million man march on Washington. They can have our British chocolate when they prise it from our cold, dead hands!
"Our crops will wither, our children will die piteous
deaths and the sun will be swept from the sky. But is it true?" - Tom Kirby, CEO, Games Workshop Ltd
2015/01/24 15:58:22
Subject: America declares war on British chocolate: we will never surrender!
Leaving jingoism aside reading the article I can see the argument to an extent. Hershey is the US producer of Cadbury. They use pretty much the exact same branding and packaging as the UK items. Having the two non-identically produced products, with the same packaging and brand name, sharing a market could cause obvious confusion for the consumer.
2015/01/24 15:59:39
Subject: Re:America declares war on British chocolate: we will never surrender!
