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I first got in to 40k i n my first job when I had just turned nineteen, it was something I'd wanted to do for years.

One of my Co workers who was pushing 37 thought it was the funniest thing he'd ever seen. He was one of those men who think their teenagers, constantly hity on girls in their early twenties and flexing muscles whenever he could. He'd bring it up every single day, he'd make a "joke" or hurtful remark at least once an hour. He'd also try to steal stuff I bought in my lunch breaks etc.

Like it's been said before, telling him to feth off soon shut him up. Don't let anyone make you feel bad for doing the things you enjoy, it's your money, no one has any right to make any negative judgement of you simply because you like what you like. Be proud of it.

Usually though, when new people find out about it I never make a big deal of it, simply because it isn't one. If they want to see my stuff I'll show them my forgefiend and more impressive conversions. One time I met a girl at a party in my dorm who saw my stuff when she went in my room, we ended up assembling Chaos Space marines together until 4am.

This hobby is magical.

I get made fun of for a lot of things, but oddly enough 40k is not one of them. Generally, most people who know I do it find it interesting or make no comment about it, although that may be because the people who would 'shame' me for it don't get to know me well enough to know I play it in the first place. My reaction in your place would simply be to ignore him or, if a conversation is inevitable, just go along with him with something along the lines of "yeah I guess it is expensive and kinda childish, but I find it pretty fun." Often times, partially agreeing with someone is all you need to do to get them to shut up, and if it's someone you don't plan on talking to often, that's all you need.

I find that people who tell you "you're wasting money/time" are almost always huge hypocrites. Nearly everyone spends their money/time on something that is not a survival necessity, just because gameing/nerd hobbies ect are not what they spend their resources on they judge it. I would ask him what he spend his time and money doing, if he can't connect the dots and realize he is doing the exact same thing as you just with a different focus then it's not worth your time to fight that battle. Just ignore the haters, as long as you are not neglecting your legit responsibilities (kids/job/school/relationships or what have you) do what makes you happy.

I've never understood people who feel the need to shame you for enjoying something. If it's something that makes you happy and it does no harm to them, what business is it of theirs? They can say that they wish they had the money to express their interests in things like this, but they shouldn't say that someone that has the financial freedom to game like this is wrong because they themselves don't. I bought my first house earlier this year as well as my first 40k army (Orks, of course). Now after buying a house I wasn't really in the best financial position but I was careful about it and put together a budget that allowed me to buy what I needed for the army over time without dipping into savings and everything worked out fine. I'll admit there were times I proooobably shouldn't have been spending money on the Leman Russ that I used as the base for my Looted Wagon or the extra Lootas I needed or this or that, but I made the choice to do so and that was my choice (or mistake, depending on your point of view) to make. It didn't bankrupt me, it did no harm to anyone, and in the end it brought enjoyment to me and my friends. What is so wrong about that?

Now, if you choose to start a family then you accept certain responsibilities and limitations on what you can do with your money, that's understandable. However, that doesn't mean that someone else that chooses to not have kids at this point in their life is wrong for not adhering to the same financial boundaries that they took on with their choice to have a family. It certainly doesn't give them the right to be spiteful towards others who are not bogged down by the same situation. Owning a home, I don't have the same financial freedom I did before so I can't do quite as much gaming as I would have wanted, but that doesn't make me try to bring down those that are able to game more due to them having less responsibilities. I can certainly express longing for the same freedom that they have, but I made the choice to be in this position and it is up to me to work within the boundaries I put myself in to still be able to do what I can with what I have when it comes to gaming. That's just the nature of life.

And let's be honest here. If anyone looks at the Riptide and doesn't think it's incredibly badass (or at least can appreciate it for being an impressive looking model), that's someone who's opinion I do not care about. Hell, I know people that actively hate Tau but still jaw dropped at how awesome the Riptide looked.

But I digress. In the end, gaming is something that definitely has real value. There is so much that gaming does for so many people. There are stories to be told in gaming that otherwise would find no vehicle to be expressed. There are friendships being forged through it. There are powerful experiences happening every day because of gaming. As Wil Wheaton once said, gaming has been the foundation of the greatest friendships I have ever had. Some people just can't see the value in it. They find value in other things, but that doesn't give them the right to say that people who find value in gaming or in anything else are wrong because we don't fit into the very limiting bubble that they live in themselves. That's just my opinion. I'll get off the soap box now.

Not a waste- I buy a dirtbike new for minimum 8000 CAD, then I have to do maintenance, keep the fluids topped up, invest parts and fill it with gas. So im looking at around 10000 CAD a year for one of my hobbies. Let alone insurance on top for a 20 year old with a competition spec motorcycle.

Plus I need a place to ride and all the gear and safety equipment that goes with it.

And thats why I never bitch about Games Workshop prices, there are much more expensive hobbies, and you don't need to be in one if you cant afford it.

For those who are getting a hard time, which, not in the least coincidentally, seem to be the younger players, I have a message.

It Gets Better.

Seriously, as you get older, what people think about you means a lot less to you, your friends will accept you for who you are and not what you do or what you own (unlike school) and you generally have more income to spend, and will generally be taken more seriously in life. This means you can organise events, start clubs etc and will have the means and the ability to execute it properly and take it to a conclusion.

One word of caution though, it is a very human thing to want to share something you're passionate about. As you get older, you start to get a feel for this, but when you are younger it is very easy to get carried away, and end up feeding somebody all the ammo they need to shoot you down mercilessly.

When you're in the company of muggles, play it cool, answer any questions with the least amount of info required to be polite and don't make out like its a big deal.

The girl you just met doesn't care about the time you rolled 3 6s for armour saves and the following turn hit and wounded with all your attacks and made your opponent run away. (Well, unless you're really lucky!) She might care that you're the sort of person who takes part in a hobby that requires a huge investment of time and money, requires creativity and practical skills and a dedication to constant improvement.

 azreal13 wrote:
For those who are getting a hard time, which, not in the least coincidentally, seem to be the younger players, I have a message.

It Gets Better.

Seriously, as you get older, what people think about you means a lot less to you, your friends will accept you for who you are and not what you do or what you own (unlike school) and you generally have more income to spend, and will generally be taken more seriously in life. This means you can organise events, start clubs etc and will have the means and the ability to execute it properly and take it to a conclusion.

One word of caution though, it is a very human thing to want to share something you're passionate about. As you get older, you start to get a feel for this, but when you are younger it is very easy to get carried away, and end up feeding somebody all the ammo they need to shoot you down mercilessly.

When you're in the company of muggles, play it cool, answer any questions with the least amount of info required to be polite and don't make out like its a big deal.

The girl you just met doesn't care about the time you rolled 3 6s for armour saves and the following turn hit and wounded with all your attacks and made your opponent run away. (Well, unless you're really lucky!) She might care that you're the sort of person who takes part in a hobby that requires a huge investment of time and money, requires creativity and practical skills and a dedication to constant improvement.

This, a thousand times this.

Funnily enough there used to be some in my company that was like this, I would chat with my battles about my IG and the hobby itself and every time they overheard us talking about it they would have some smart remark about wasting my time and money on plastic toys while they were out with all the ladies "mind you, all of us are married. including them". Eventually some senior NCOs came to our company and they also were into 40k, so here i am with my wife, friends, and leadership enjoying my hobby, while the naysayers eventually got caught philandering and now have to worry about stitching their marriage back together. I just goes to show that you should never EVER feel bad about warhammer, just be smart with your budget and enjoy it. The folks that want to harass you will get theirs in time because as we all know, The Emperor protects.

At where i work, there are several people that think my wargaming hobby is a videogame of some kind, despite me having told them what it is to the point of giving up.
As far as being ashamed? I take certain inspiration from this:



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in addition, it's very liberating to declare yourself as a geek. In the last base I was at, I made a stand and wasn't shy about my passion for what may not be mainstream. it turned out that i became a beacon for everyone else, invites to D&D groups, gaming nights. Ultimately, you honesty will gather people you want around you.

I'll make the simple suggestion that you stop caring about what others think about how you spend your money / time.

In the end, the only person you'll ever need to answer to for your choices, is you.

The only people you should accept advice or criticism from are those that you genuinely admire.

I dont think this is as much being shamed as it is feeling a little shamed on my own. But I was babysitting my 5 year old niece so she came over to play with my 1 year old son. My son had to take a nap so I put him to sleep and my niece and I went downstairs so it would be quieter. Downstairs is my man-cave. My ps3, flat screen, surround sound, all my board games, dice, dnd stuff and of course my Orks and Black Templars. She saw the orks and thought they were kind of cool and got a couple of the warbikers off the shelf. (I wasn't too worried about her breaking them).

Then she asked "Did you play with these when you were a kid?" I laughed and said "I played with these yesterday"

she stopped what she was doing, looked at me and just said "...oh" and then went to go play with something else.

she stopped what she was doing, looked at me and just said "...oh" and then went to go play with something else.

Fun , a 5 y old girl can shame a grown man . A boy/man has to be at least 10+ to do it counciously .

I've got two kids and we dont always have a lot of money to spend but thats because we usually blow it on doing things the kids want to do. I prioritize my expenses, sometimes my kids or wife get the cash, sometimes my nids do.

To my great shame i have always felt ashamed and i kick myself every time for it. My Girlfriend or family has never given me stick for it, hell she paid to come to Games Day last year! but i can never admit it to my mates. How would you mention the subject?

Start of with video games, they're a good lead in since the tabletop is where all gaming started from centuries ago.

 hotsauceman1 wrote:
Ok, so, some exposition here. Im giddy about the new tau release, so im kinda sharing it. I have some 40k friends on FB so when i got the riptide ordered i posted that i got it. I posted a link and pic to the model to show my 40k friends.
But my cousin saw it. Now my cousin is married, struggling(not really, he still has plenty of money,just not for the things he) with two young girls. He saw it, clicked the link and saw the price. He is now shaming me for spending "85$ on plastic crap" and gloating about it. Im not gloating, i just wanted my friends to see what i got.
I tried to explain to him even more what it was for like how i use it for a game where I use my other models, but know he is just being mean saying things like
"y'know my girls will never be able to afford this" or things like "Why dont you put it in savings(as a note, i put 100$ in savings each month)" and even how i should be focused on school.
Its starting a grind me, i dont like being shamed for my hobby.
So i have to wonder. Does anyone else ever get shamed for playing 40k? or feel guilty? Sometimes i do.

Your cousin is obviously jealous of your ability to enjoy your hobby. If you get joy from it who cares what anyone else thinks? The only reason someone is able to make you feel bad about your choices is if you let them. Sounds like you save money each month, enjoy your hobby and wanted to share your enjoyment with your friends. I see ZERO reason for shame in any of that. He can rant all he wants, but his jealousy is no reason for you to doubt your own life and choices. If he doesn't stop, just start deleting his comments from your wall on FB. Your wall, your rules. In my regular mini gaming crew for 40k most of the others are married with children these days. I used to be married, but I'm not anymore. Sure they see me buying the new toys and wish they could, but they aren't going to denigrate me just because our life circumstances are different these days. If I had kids that is where my money would be going to, but I don't so it doesn't. It is that simple.

I've been gaming for a good 36 years of life now and have had plenty of people during that time trying to embarrass me for my hobbies in some way. Early on I was bothered by it, but eventually I hit a point in life in general where other people's opinions of things I enjoyed/liked just didn't matter to me when all that had were negative comments to make. Go out. Enjoy your hobby. Have fun building and using your new Riptide and file away your cousin's actions as the jealous rantings that they are and you'll be much happier.

Skriker

so my cousin stopped. but something else. my family is now giving me crap for going ro vegas for the LVO. Mostly because my sister got into a lease she cant afford, so they want to use my dads entire 401k to bail her out, and his life insurance. ecen though it is supposed to be split into thirds and givencto each kid. im supposed to give up my trip so my sister can get out of a jam she got herself into

 hotsauceman1 wrote:
so my cousin stopped. but something else. my family is now giving me crap for going ro vegas for the LVO. Mostly because my sister got into a lease she cant afford, so they want to use my dads entire 401k to bail her out, and his life insurance. ecen though it is supposed to be split into thirds and givencto each kid. im supposed to give up my trip so my sister can get out of a jam she got herself into

Well this one seems a bit different than being shamed. This comes down to family and family support. If my parents needed something from me, monetarily, I would have to oblige. They raised me, bought me stuff, took care of me. I can't imagine how much money they spent on me. Well now that i have a kid of my own I am starting to realize. But if they needed money to help out my sister, even if I didn't like my sister, I think some sacrifices would be in order. Sure your sister did it to herself, but if she can't count on family to help her, who can she count on.

I should probably stop here, because I don't know your family and your relationships could be be completely different than mine.

40k is no more expensive than many other hobbies, such as console gaming (which is the most common in our demographic) but there's also other collectors hobbies, where things like movie posters, baseball cards and other stuff run over $200 USD.

Also any alcohol drinkers and/or smokers should tally up what they spend each month. It's crazy.

 Flak88 wrote:
To my great shame i have always felt ashamed and i kick myself every time for it. My Girlfriend or family has never given me stick for it, hell she paid to come to Games Day last year! but i can never admit it to my mates. How would you mention the subject?

I feel the same way. I have a few friends who are into Warhammer as well who I can talk to about it, but generally I don't tell people about my hobby. Most people don't understand it and I can't be bothered explaining it to them. I've got my models on a shelf beside me right now, in a week my girlfriend is having her friends round so I will put them away so they don't see them when she shows them around.

I always look around before going into the GW shop in Glasgow too, in case anyone I know sees me going in. It's strange, as I really don't have anything to be ashamed of,

 Icculus wrote:

 hotsauceman1 wrote:
so my cousin stopped. but something else. my family is now giving me crap for going ro vegas for the LVO. Mostly because my sister got into a lease she cant afford, so they want to use my dads entire 401k to bail her out, and his life insurance. ecen though it is supposed to be split into thirds and givencto each kid. im supposed to give up my trip so my sister can get out of a jam she got herself into

Well this one seems a bit different than being shamed. This comes down to family and family support. If my parents needed something from me, monetarily, I would have to oblige. They raised me, bought me stuff, took care of me. I can't imagine how much money they spent on me. Well now that i have a kid of my own I am starting to realize. But if they needed money to help out my sister, even if I didn't like my sister, I think some sacrifices would be in order. Sure your sister did it to herself, but if she can't count on family to help her, who can she count on.

I should probably stop here, because I don't know your family and your relationships could be be completely different than mine.

The thing is, She can get out of this predicament easily if she just gets a job, but she doesn't want to get one. I feel bad. But I have my own life to live seperate form her. I just wany my fair shake of the money, and they are trying to deny me it. My brother can give him his share of anything he wants. But let me have mine, I have my own money problems.

Uh do you have a job? are independent? then you can do wtf you want with your money! As long as it keeps you off the streets and not smoking crack it's all good. And as long as you don't start racking up credit card debt.

I do get the same thing about my hobby, but I have an ace up my sleeve : in real life, I'm kinda scary, so people just accept it. And when they kinda start critizing my hobby, I give them my scary look, and then they just know that they are walking on a really thin ice and that they better keep their opinion for themself.
But on another note, others are just amazed that a regular (scary) guy can make these kind of things. I even have coworkers that ask me to make them a model or two for their birthday or for one of their kids.

I'm only 14, but even I have difficulty with the subject. Going into high school, people say the games stupid all the time. They never say Im stupid or lame, just the game. And I think, hell if they want to think the games lame, go for it. As long as they ain't calling me lame, I'm all cool. A little annoyed, for sure, but angry? Nah.

Also, I had a fried who said its all stupid and lame, now he plays orks and is trying to convince his friend the games not lame.

40k is much much funner for me than like that new phone. My phone works just fine, and I would rather buy a tank than buy something I don't really need with my already extremely small budget. Heck, I spend like 50 bucks every 3 months :(
But to others my age, thats a lot to spend on plastic lameness.

It's also amazingly nice to have something to talk about that never gets old. I mean, when I'm in English for 1 and a half hours, I get bored. Then I can talk about the endlessly fascinating hobby and fluff and gaming that's 40k. Alot better than learning about flipping adding pronouns.

My boss at work gave me a lot of grief when I first started working in the lab, "comic books are for 13yr olds, you're 30!" and then he had a field day when he found out I played 40K.

He didn't like it when I said the average age of comic book readers are in their 40's, and that look at the success of Iron Man, The Avengers, Batman etc to show that comic books are mainstream as hell!

He enjoys cricket and getting hammered every weekend - who's the sad individual?

 hotsauceman1 wrote:
so my cousin stopped. but something else. my family is now giving me crap for going ro vegas for the LVO. Mostly because my sister got into a lease she cant afford, so they want to use my dads entire 401k to bail her out, and his life insurance. ecen though it is supposed to be split into thirds and givencto each kid. im supposed to give up my trip so my sister can get out of a jam she got herself into

Gotta support the family when needed, bro. IMHO until the money is given directly to you it isn't actually yours in such situations. You might have room to gripe a bit if your sister *knowingly* signed a lease she coudln't afford, but if she lost her job, or had some other financial problem that caused the situation you can't necessarily be angry at her. Either way if you block the effort you become the family dick and then if you need the support of the family sometime in the future and odds are you will you can expect pretty much nada...

Skriker


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 Sheokronath wrote:
One time I met a girl at a party in my dorm who saw my stuff when she went in my room, we ended up assembling Chaos Space marines together until 4am.

This hobby is magical.

OK...you had me until this line...no passing off dreams as reality! Unless "assembling chaos space marines" is the new college slang for banging like bonobos.

Skriker


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ninjafiredragon wrote:
I'm only 14, but even I have difficulty with the subject. Going into high school, people say the games stupid all the time. They never say Im stupid or lame, just the game. And I think, hell if they want to think the games lame, go for it. As long as they ain't calling me lame, I'm all cool. A little annoyed, for sure, but angry? Nah.

Quite a mature approach for a 14 year old. Well done.

As for your other comments, yeah often the biggest opponents try something out and find out it is the most awesome thing ever. We've all known someone like that who has negative or even just snarky things to say about something we like and then one day you finally get them to try it out and they become an even bigger nerd about it than you were. Not only do you get a big moment of "I told you so!", but you also get a new gaming buddy as well.

Skriker

 hotsauceman1 wrote:

 Icculus wrote:

 hotsauceman1 wrote:
so my cousin stopped. but something else. my family is now giving me crap for going ro vegas for the LVO. Mostly because my sister got into a lease she cant afford, so they want to use my dads entire 401k to bail her out, and his life insurance. ecen though it is supposed to be split into thirds and givencto each kid. im supposed to give up my trip so my sister can get out of a jam she got herself into

Well this one seems a bit different than being shamed. This comes down to family and family support. If my parents needed something from me, monetarily, I would have to oblige. They raised me, bought me stuff, took care of me. I can't imagine how much money they spent on me. Well now that i have a kid of my own I am starting to realize. But if they needed money to help out my sister, even if I didn't like my sister, I think some sacrifices would be in order. Sure your sister did it to herself, but if she can't count on family to help her, who can she count on.

I should probably stop here, because I don't know your family and your relationships could be be completely different than mine.

The thing is, She can get out of this predicament easily if she just gets a job, but she doesn't want to get one. I feel bad. But I have my own life to live seperate form her. I just wany my fair shake of the money, and they are trying to deny me it. My brother can give him his share of anything he wants. But let me have mine, I have my own money problems.

While i truly do sympathize, unfortunately those assets are you father's until they are legally disbursed to you. He can do with them what you want.

Do not interpret this as me thinking its proper, right, or correct. It isn't if what you've presented is taken at face value (person gets into money troubles with no job, part of a future potential inheritance used to bail that person out).

I was in a similar situation with one of my parents ; irresponsible spending and loans far outweighing income led to me having to nearly wipe myself out financially to buy her house. Now i get to maintain and fix it (it was built in the 60's, joy) because "she has no money", yet there's weekly trips to local shopping outlets with bags and bags of unneeded stuff. The worst thing is that there's at least another 30k worth of work that needs to be done to get some grandfathered code items up to code, so it'll be a long time before i can sell it. Plus i have my own home mortgage, taxes, etc. Lot's of fun.

Mind you, there's two other brothers in the scenario too - neither one has lifted a finger to help in the last ten years when this all started. One had the balls to question my motives, and ask if i would split the houses proceeds when she passed on.

Your situation is not fair, but (and i don't meant this to be a jerk, honestly), life often isn't. I could have stood on principle, folded my arms, and told my mom "I told you so", and watch as she got moved into section 8 housing, knowing the whole time i had the power to stop it.

Sometimes with family, you don't do what really should be done, you do what is best for the person in the moment.


... very off topic that.

Back on topic somewhat... I think i've only been "shamed" once, and it was by the same person referenced above (ironically, shortly after the bailout). I had taken a few years off from gaming, and got back into it once i'd sort of seen my last days of bar crawling and tail chasing. The only comment made was "Oh, god, you're playing with toys again at your age?". A very short discussion to the tune of "feel free to judge my personal life decisions when your own are in order." was pretty much the first and last I ever heard of it.

All my friends are gamers by nature, though not all wargamers per se, so they're all cool with it. Been gaming on and off since I was five, so my family and friends all mostly realize that it's what i do. Also, never really cared if others disapproved. My money. I can do with it what i want, and buying armies for games is better than many other pursuits.

 Skriker wrote:

 Sheokronath wrote:
One time I met a girl at a party in my dorm who saw my stuff when she went in my room, we ended up assembling Chaos Space marines together until 4am.

This hobby is magical.

OK...you had me until this line...no passing off dreams as reality! Unless "assembling chaos space marines" is the new college slang for banging like bonobos.

Skriker

Reading it, I wouldn't believe it either, but she's coming over to my house next month to paint my Word Bearers with me.

She is ginger though. Can't have everything.

 the shrouded lord wrote:
gak yeah. im 14 and just about everyone at school "hates me" (im a fat midget)
ive had models stomped ( a particularly painful example is a termie sergeant that is now a grey smudge)
ive had my box of models hung on the flag pole (multiple times)
I even had a book thrown on top of a building (although that was halo), also a second book was stolen months ago and I haven't got it back yet. the one the roof got rained on and now resides in a garbage truck.

Holy Necro thread!

Your cousin has kids. They are fething expensive. ( I have 6, so I know). Of course he's jealous. He's jealous that you have the *time* to do something that you want without feeling guilty. Or he's just feeling the financial pressure of raising a family. Which can be absolutely incredible.

Truth be told $85 for a plastic model is just stupid.

However, so is spending $60 (US) to take the family to dinner...or $80 to put gas in a car. Heck, dropping $100 for a night out drinking or clubbing is silly as well. So you have some disposable income AND time to put it to use. Enjoy it to the full extent and don't let someone else bring you down