Forum adverts like this one are shown to any user who is not logged in. Join us by filling out a tiny 3 field form and you will get your own, free, dakka user account which gives a good range of benefits to you: No adverts like this in the forums anymore. Times and dates in your local timezone. Full tracking of what you have read so you can skip to your first unread post, easily see what has changed since you last logged in, and easily see what is new at a glance. Email notifications for threads you want to watch closely. Being a part of the oldest wargaming community on the net. If you are already a member then feel free to login now.

Ummm yes. .... I mean we have a kids menu
Only a 1kg steak and a half litre ale mug....
It worked at home....

Could I please... have a half portion of the kid's steak?

Yeah sure, if you want such a small portion.

Do you want the free my first battle axe collectable?

Sure, I'll take that too.

Agh excellent. *steak and ale arrives*

There you go, unlike other halls we use real Steel and edge sharpen them!

Nothing done by halves!

*places an order for steak and ale from his bunker*
Anyone want to play whack an ork?

Ra: Overlord! We're about 10 hours from destination sir!

Excellent... Did you find the other bomb that idiot left lying around?

Ra: Yessir! It was in the audiobook section!

Excellent! Ring him up and tell him that he owes me 56 Snazzguns, and 4925 crates of lasgun mags

*puts Thrakka's agent on hold*
Maybe if I ignore him hard enough he'll forget, wonder if he found the bomb in the mess hall?

Thank you!
Wait. My First Battle Axe? This thing is the size of me!
*Experimentally attempts to levitate the axe*
...At least it was produced with something advanced, or else I wouldn't be able to lift it.

*trained wolves deliver steak and ale in standard 5kg size*

Enjoy

Yeah, childhood at home is a tad different, you go kraken hunting at age of 12....

*shows v hunting room*
We keep the best weapons here.


It's fun though good old fenneris. Classic death world, learn to use giant axes or be killed by trolls, krakens, wolves or someone who wants your axe.... It's the good life.

 War Kitten wrote:

 Buttery Commissar wrote:
I didn't... Most of my time with the Dark Eldar was spent in construction sites, labs and bedrooms. I think they were bedrooms. Nobody got much sleep. [Slightly unfocused and deeply troubled expression]

I think they mostly had me building some kind of stadium. Lot of seating and drains. [Scratches head]

You were probably building a new arena for one of the Wych Cults. They tend to like having new arenas. As for the bedroom..... if it had various torture implenments scattered around and a bed, then yes, it was a bedroom

That would make sense, there were a lot of drainage systems.
And I mostly remember large expensive looking chairs, throw cushions and being continually... ... ...Sedated.

I liked it. They were very thorough.

...I didn't say I hated all of it. Though I still ache in areas I'm uncertain have names. [Points to spot under ribcage]

Thorough with what?
Oh, that would be your... sternum. I think. Or maybe just your digestive system bits.

[Thinks back and stares at ceiling] ...their um, interest in interior and exterior anatomy.
They make the Daemonette look amateur.

And whatever it is, it rattles now. [Does a small heel-lift and drops, producing a noise like pennies in a can]

Ummmm Something does not feel right BC and its not your messed up mind, seriously not reading that, theirs like 2 of you in there.....

yeah, someone got a medical scanner?

[Looks hurt] My mind is not messed up. Slightly scattered, and a product of Commissariat training, but no worse than anyone else.

And there's Perron in here, but he's mostly content to just enjoy the ride.

Wait, medical scanner? [Backs away]

don't worry, its not broken, all the stuff still works.

think the Inquisition have not helped....

*teleports out of secret room*

Hey guyz. I hear you have a restaurant. Can I have...50 baskets of chicken and fries?

Chicken?

Umm, bear, elk, kraken, troll and some wolf?
I can do fries

My hunting relm, chickens died in days.

We have 100 types of ale though!

Okay...bear should do it.

And the food should be teleported to the secret room. Don't worry, I'll take care of that. Just put it on a cart that I can touch when I teleport back to the secret room. Am I making sense?

Yeah, 5kg steaks,50+ fries

Ik throw ale in, so 50 litres, no charge runes make it all, basically free. Ferasian ale, its good stuff.

*cart is loaded by bearded ferasian staff*

Job done all in 320kg of good food and ale.

Enjoy ya feast.

Thanks, jhe90!

*teleports back to secret room with cart of food.*

*inside secret room. [inside the brackets] cannot be heard, but outside can*

[Kaptin, where] did you find that food?
They're running [a restaurant] back [in the avatar room]. We've got 50 five-kilogram steaks, [50 baskets of fries, and this Ferasian ale.]
[Badrukk, what did] you say?
[We got some food, Marla.] Let's take a break [from those snazzgunz] for now.
[What kind of food?]
5kg bear steaks, and [baskets of fries.]
[Let's eat!]

Well, I'm not detecting anything in you besides that bionic arm, but I wouldn't be surprised if they managed to hide something or other.

Good, *shouts down in its vaugue direction *

Alls fair, don,t wreck my place ya hear and we are good.

*dons wolf cloak and goes off into mini hunting relm for some relaxing hunting*

Be back in abit, enjoy folks, ales on tap.

Ra: 8 Hours sir! And we've found another bomb in the T.G.I Friday on 236

WAR KITTEN!!! I'M WARNING YOU! I'VE GOT A SPACE MARINE IN MY EMPLOY AND I WILL SEND HIM AFTER YOU!!!

OOC: I think the bomb thing might be a little worn out WK

OOC: That was the last one honestly. I had run out of decent places to plant them. Probably should have stopped after the vortex warhead under the chair. In any case, sorry

BIC:
*on the phone*
What? It's not my fault your crew are incompetent and can't find 3 measly bombs. But you found them didn't you? Quit your belly achin'.
*hangs up*
Hmm, this room needs more Guardsmen
*gets on the vox and calls for reinforcements*
*a horde of Guardsmen appear and we all go down into the Guard Bunker*
Ok lads, we're here to fortify this Room and hold it, the main threat is Badrukk and his Flash Gitz. Right now we're at peace, but we need to be prepared just in case. I need everyone to read up on their ork fighting protocols and to fortify this bunker. GO!
*we fortify the bunker*

*Ferrasian hall staff hear orks may be coming and grab giant battle axes*
Right, the boss wants to keep his hall nice. So defend it. Don,t start a war though, just if they attack.

One shoulders axe and waves to wk

Wait. Orks are attacking?
*The new Snazzguns begin to make a slight hissing noise*

Seems wk is like a squirrel .... But with rather dangerous bombs....

Ya know, orks love there soerstore blown to feth by a virus bomb...

*from inside the bunker*
NOT MY FAULT THAT IT TOOK THEM THAT LONG TO FIND THE VIRUS BOMB!
*inside the bunker where nobody but the Guardsmen can hear me*
Alright lads, now, we need to place heavy bolter nests here *points* here *points again* and here *points yet again*. Then go place a minefield in the entrance to the bunker. We'll be safe in here. I also got the teleport blocker in here so Badrukk and his Gitz cannot get in unless we let them in.