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Someone brought this topic up on the local FLG, and I'm spreading the word to Dakka! This is a humor thread, but I feel it belongs here, like the angry marines topic. Help me describe just HOW BAD lasguns are.

1. Shining in your friend's eye to annoy him.
2. A cricket bat.
3. The bayonet can be used as a butterknife, if sharpened.
4. Warming soup.
5. When left on, a seat warmer in your Leman Russ.
6. Roasting marshmallows, if rapidly fired.
7. Scraping your name in the sand on Tallarn.
8. Picking your nose.
9. A backscratcher.
10. Reaching out to press the power button on your TV.
11. Opening Coke cans.
12. Picking locks.
13. Cleaning out your ears.
14. A laser pointer.
15. If several are combined, you can make toast.

Feel free to add other uses for the previously useless-for-combat lasgun.

You forgot - handy measuring aid for hashing LOS issues for futuristic space opera games involving miniature soldiers

scratch the barrel and you have one of those flimsy measuring sticks for said space opera games

18 of them can probably kill a marine.
If you're lucky.

using as lighting effects at discos

All fo my friends seem to think they're powered by glow sticks, in which case take out the glow sticks and, use as glow sticks!

Take 5 las guns add a blanket and you have a tent.
You could use it to burn the hair off your face space age razor.

saving as many as possible and selling to buy a decent gun?

skullspliter888 wrote:Take 5 las guns add a blanket and you have a tent.
You could use it to burn the hair off your face space age razor.

Maybe, but you'd need a LOT of shaving cream.

2+ ammo rolls

Playing pick up sticks

Cigarette lighter.
Changing T.V. channels.
Throwing at the enemy (may do more damage).
Paperweight.
Skeet shooting.
A cooking utensil.
Looking slightly menacing.
Strapping onto a Bolter as a laser sight.
Annoying friends by shining it in their eyes repeatedly.
Burning ants.

nice reference malfred

emergency flares?
burning the holes in cheese

leave on, and put hands in front to make shadow puppets!

Give it to a Conscript (one of 50) and watch the laser light show

then laugh as the last remaining man rolls double one for his morral check manages to kill a terminator with his lasgun ... look on in amazement as he's charged by the squad and kills a further terminator ... then be scared as the other terminators miss him, faill their moral test and run away but find they're Trapped and they die or give up or something ... amazingly lucky but i don't think my conscripts have ever killed more people in game (i tend to just use them as way of blocking my flank)

A Golf Club
Laser pointer for whiteboards in the warroom
Bottle opener (though bottle may not suvive)
Running round making "kapuu, Kapuu" sounds
Making a house of lasguns (house of cards)
Giving out free lasguns to the enemy, Guardsmen might stand a better chance of surviving incomming fire then.
Get a group of 50men and start a Light show
Remove battery, put in TV remote

use to make large stick person, stick your uniform on it and leave at front line as a stand in you.
While you run off screaming there is no emperor and he hates us all...

turning several on behind someone to give them a fearsome glow

Balance the helmets of fallen IG on.

A grilled cheese cooker
flashlight
Lasik eye surgery field kit
Mole/wart remover (if held over it long enough)
Distraction to the enemy when you flash a lot in their eyes so they don't see the real attack coming!
give it a laser site and you have a twin linked lasgun!

Thats all I got for now

Later
Gareth

Cigarette lighter
Using to tell tell scary stories at night
Stiring your tea
Warming up tea

What, like shining under your chin to make your face look scary? I don't think it's bright enough...

games workshop line of sight marker thing

A Wii-mote.

^ROFL. Unlike the normal wii-mote, it's not powerful enough to damage your TV when you throw it at it when you ragequit.

I've found that Lasguns can be deceivingly powerful. The other day I was playing my Tau army against my friends Imp. Guard. It was four normal Guardsmen with Lasguns against my HQ Which was one Shas'O Crisis Suit and two Shas'vre Crisis body guards.

My friend: "Okay I get 4 lasgun shots."

Me: *Uncontrollable laughter*

He proceedes to kill one shield drone and put 2 wounds on my Shas'O.

Me: "ARE YOU S****ING ME!?"

My friend: *Uncontrollable laughter*

Luck?

toilet roll holder

Storm Lord (While you run off screaming there is no emperor and he hates us all...) if he doesn't exist then surely he can't hate us... lol

hey I'm running around screaming, it's not meant to make sense...

Use the guns as spare wiper blades for Chimeras

Paint them green and give them to the Necrons saying they're the next generation of Gauss weapons.