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"Anything to Win"

Anyone else have a friend or some guy at their LGS like that?

A good friend of mine is terribly eroded with this mentality. Its not like "Huzzah I want to win!" and play a fun game. Its actually really stressful and not fun playing against the guy, at ALL. My friends were talking about 40K fluff and somehow got on the subject of winning. Said friend goes, "I only play to win." when we pressed him on it, saying winning wasn't really everything (close intense games are always great, even if you lose) he expanded on his philosophy. Stating, "Here's you guys, 'oh i just want to play the game', then here's me 'yah im winnin oh this is so awesome i win'" roughly paraphrased.

It was ridiculous.

Anyone have any advice to ween him of his ways?

As it stands playing against him is really annoying, its not fun, and even if you win (which only pisses him off) you feel like you beat up a 2 year old.

NOT just that, but, if he's like a split centimeter off for a charge or shooting or something, he'll bitch up and down about it. Normally, I don't really care, if you're just barely out of range by a few hairs I'll give it to you. But, then if the roles get reversed he pulls some "tough luck" bull-$h!7.

Sorry for the rant, .

He's really cramping the LGS up though. So anyone have any advice? Short of ....

There's one easy answer: Don't play against him.

He's perfectly entitled to play the game in the way that he enjoys. But that doesn't mean that you have to play that way.

If he's not interested in loosening up, and you're not interested in playing more competitively, then the only real solution is to not play each other.

Ark wrote:Anyone have any advice to ween him of his ways?

I used to say this a lot when I first joined Dakka, but I feel the sentiment is worth resurrecting for this:


Find your biggest, spikiest and heaviest model. Take it in your hand, and then hit him with it until the stupid falls out.



Now I'll be the first to say that anyone who claims they don't play to win is full of crap. We all play to win. No one plays to lose and certainly no one plays to draw. But he added the 'only' to the phrase - where he 'only' plays to win. That's a problem. If one can only derive enjoyment from this game by winning then, not to judge what they find appealing in the hobby, there are other less expensive things they can win at that won't be as stressful.

BYE

This might sound a little mean, but maybe if everyone in your group avoids playing him he might get the hint & change his ways or @ least ask why. Then he might more open to your advise.

insaniak wrote:There's one easy answer: Don't play against him.

He's perfectly entitled to play the game in the way that he enjoys. But that doesn't mean that you have to play that way.

If he's not interested in loosening up, and you're not interested in playing more competitively, then the only real solution is to not play each other.

repeat: do not play him. Make him go to tournaments to get a game and he can play against those who share his outlook. I dropped by my FLGS the other day looking for a pick-up game. "That guy" was the only person there and he was happy to play. I had my army transport in one hand and my modeling tacklebox in the other--I really wanted a game. But I told him, "No thanks." When he asked why I said, "Your playing style. You are not fun to play against." He'll get the message when this happens a few more times.

Don't be so lenient with him in games first of all. If you miss by a centimeter you miss. Close only counts for horse shoes and bombs. Second, we all do play to win. He'll grow up, and if he doesn't you probably won't see him much anymore as time goes on. He will be in jail or stuck working 24/7 to support what ever terrible thing has gone wrong in his life. It's just what happens to people who act like children.

I agree with insaniak. If this so called friend was truly a friend and really cared about you he would not treat you as such. Tell him in no uncertain terms that it is no fun to play him and move on.

I remember when I first started playing. The person who got me into the game is a lot like this friend of yours... in fact if I had a question regarding the rules the best I could get out of him was a yes or no. The first six months I played I think I had two wins. It was not fun but eventually I met other people to play who were much cooler to hang out with and a lot more mature.

G

Play against him, but play really, really poorly, so that it's obvious you're trying to lose. "No, if I rapid fire those genestealers I won't be able charge. Pulse rifles suck anyway."

Then he'll learn that winning isn't always a recipe for fun.

Orkeosaurus wrote:Play against him, but play really, really poorly, so that it's obvious you're trying to lose. "No, if I rapid fire those genestealers I won't be able charge. Pulse rifles suck anyway."

Then he'll learn that winning isn't always a recipe for fun.

That doesn't work with teenagers.

A win is a win. To a certain mindset (which is disturbingly common in teenage boys, from my experience), whether that win comes from your own ability, from cheating, or from the fact that your opponent played poorly makes no difference.

You have to be heavy handed.
Really heavy handed.

And laugh at him.

Hurt him physically.

If you can't do that just don't play him. Guys a jerk, so he should be treated as such.

You mean like close combat Tau without Farsight or Kroot?

If you want to take the passive agressive method to extremes, set up your models, then never take a turn. Never move anything, never shoot, just let him walk his models across the table and kill your dudes.

ShumaGorath wrote:Hurt him physically.

See that was my suggestion and if you and I agree on something, then it has to be right.

BYE

Play an armored company, but do it with all of your tanks facing backwards.

If this is really a "friend", then tell him that you're not having any fun when you play against him.

If he's not really a "friend" then you need to ask yourself why you keep playing against him.

Nice avatar. If you have anyone else to play against, do everything suggested _except_ what HBMC/Shuma said.

Otherwise, man up and tell him off. Make him cry if possible (shouldn't be too hard). If he's not the crying sort, skip straight to physical violence.

Tell us what armies either of you play and I'm sure we can come up with some material for you.

If nothing else print out this thread and give it to him.

Nice avatar. If you have anyone else to play against, do everything suggested _except_ what HBMC/Shuma said.

In the grim darkness of the right now at his flgs there is only beating up an annoying teen gamer.

Arctik_Firangi wrote:Nice avatar. If you have anyone else to play against, do everything suggested _except_ what HBMC/Shuma said.

Otherwise, man up and tell him off. Make him cry if possible (shouldn't be too hard). If he's not the crying sort, skip straight to physical violence.

Tell us what armies either of you play and I'm sure we can come up with some material for you.

If nothing else print out this thread and give it to him.

Thanks. I've told him off, already. He's just real thick. In the mean time I don't plan on playing against him.

ShumaGorath wrote:

Nice avatar. If you have anyone else to play against, do everything suggested _except_ what HBMC/Shuma said.

In the grim darkness of the right now at his flgs there is only beating up an annoying teen gamer.

Lol. I am glad Shuma has graced this post .

Thanks guys,
I'll be sure to resort to violence if diplomacy fails.

Blood for the Blood God!

If you’re not happy just refusing to play him, just keep telling him off. If he’s actually a buddy or someone you see regularly, or if you like him other than this characteristic, it’s worth your time.

I have a gaming buddy (I only see him at the store, we’re not really friends outside of it, but he’s a good guy and we occasionally chat about other stuff) who I like as a person, but who used to constantly whine and complain about how his Eldar did not play like they had, and were not as good as they had been back in 2nd edition. He got back into the hobby in 4th. I kept playing him, since I thought he was a good guy. For a while I would just politely debate and disagree with him, but at one point I finally just broke it down to him bluntly, telling him that his habit of constantly whining and complaining about his army was really annoying to folks. I was pleasantly surprised and impressed that he DID get the message and change his behavior. And thanked me afterwards. Now this guy is an adult and a father, and probably more mature than the guy you’re talking about, but it does go to show that change is possible.

Peer-pressure has an amazing way of working on people..

Refuse to play him until he fixes his stupid.. If he won't fix his stupid, he won't get to play. If he can't play without an attitude, he will be playing alone, with himself, in the corner with a pie or something...

Ask him, "Do you think we play to lose the game?"

Everyone wants to win the game. That doesn't mean it's worth being a tool about it. I think you need to ask:
1) Is this someone that I really want to be a friend with?
2) Is this someone who might change their ways?
3) Do I want to every play this guy again.

I've been accused of being like TFG in the past. I have a friend who was accused of the same. It was true, to some degree. We've both mellowed out. And in large part because we realized it wasn't fun for the other guy.

If all your friend wants to do is win, then I'd encourage him to play in tourneys. Tell him that you'll play him for 'warm-up' games and to refine his list. And show up the hardest list you can, and tell him that what he needs to be ready to play against at a tourney.

He may rise to the occasion and be a great tourney player and you'll stay friends. He may realize he's a tool and mellow out. He may realize that he's not really as competitive as he thinks he is or wants to be. And he may no longer be your friend, and that might be an acceptable outcome.

The game, to quote Jervis, is a contract for you both to have fun. His fun is play tough and win. Your fun isn't. If you want to show up with a fun, fluffy list - don't play him. If you want to play him, show up with a dead hard list.

@ the OP

Ever consider you're the one with the wrong approach to the game? Probably not--most people who think they have the obligation to change how others play the game don't stop to consider that maybe those who "need changing" feel the same way about them. That is not to say you have a wrong approach to the game, just that it's not your place to make others conform to how you think people should be playing 40k.

Everyone derives enjoyment from this game for different reasons. As others have said, you can easily remedy the problem by sticking to gamers who have styles compatible with your own (in other words, don't play him).

Or, you could try looking around some other LGS's and find another player that is just as obnoxious as your "friend" is. Then set up a game between the two of them so both of them can discover how unpleasant they are.

Should be fun to watch, too.

Saldiven wrote:Or, you could try looking around some other LGS's and find another player that is just as obnoxious as your "friend" is. Then set up a game between the two of them so both of them can discover how unpleasant they are.

Should be fun to watch, too.

That is particularly entertaining.

As for all of you people to say "We all play to win" that is not true. I play ONLY to have fun. If I win or lose, I'm fine with it. If I don't have a good time, that bothers me. I have been a Game Master far too long to only play to win. I normally expect to lose, so I just have fun.

Mattlov, I believe people who say "we all play to win" are referring to the fact that every mission has a goal that both sides attempt to successfully achieve. If you aren't even trying to defeat your opponent then you're just randomly shuffling around pieces of plastic and not really playing the game at all. I guess that might be fun for some people, but probably not most, considering this is a game meant to approximate conflict and warfare.

Zip Napalm wrote:If this is really a "friend", then tell him that you're not having any fun when you play against him.

If he's not really a "friend" then you need to ask yourself why you keep playing against him.

100%

It is totally decent to say to someone "I will play with him, because you are not fun to play with".

Ark wrote:[
Lol. I am glad Shuma has graced this post .

Thanks guys,
I'll be sure to resort to violence if diplomacy fails.

Blood for the Blood God!

Be aware , people that play to win generally live there lives by that motto also. If this persons playing has annoyed you the point of upping the stakes ( which most likely means he is kicking your fluffer lists A$$) you should consider that this person is likely capable of conflict resolution to an acceptable level. Should you get lucky and score a win , visa fisticuffs , an escalation of combat is not an impossibility. Or to spell it out for you , you could get your A$$ shot off.

If you feel you need to get violent over a GAME , maybe , you should get into another hobby .
If you feel you cannot compete inside the bounds of the game and cannot resist your primal instincts , then you should sell your toy solders and buy Barbie Dolls.

Sincity

Ark wrote:"Anything to Win"

Anyone else have a friend or some guy at their LGS like that?

A good friend of mine is terribly eroded with this mentality. Its not like "Huzzah I want to win!" and play a fun game. Its actually really stressful and not fun playing against the guy, at ALL. My friends were talking about 40K fluff and somehow got on the subject of winning. Said friend goes, "I only play to win." when we pressed him on it, saying winning wasn't really everything (close intense games are always great, even if you lose) he expanded on his philosophy. Stating, "Here's you guys, 'oh i just want to play the game', then here's me 'yah im winnin oh this is so awesome i win'" roughly paraphrased.

It was ridiculous.

Anyone have any advice to ween him of his ways?

As it stands playing against him is really annoying, its not fun, and even if you win (which only pisses him off) you feel like you beat up a 2 year old.

NOT just that, but, if he's like a split centimeter off for a charge or shooting or something, he'll bitch up and down about it. Normally, I don't really care, if you're just barely out of range by a few hairs I'll give it to you. But, then if the roles get reversed he pulls some "tough luck" bull-$h!7.

Sorry for the rant, .

He's really cramping the LGS up though. So anyone have any advice? Short of ....

I have a guy like that at my local place, a really annoying csm player who is a bad painter but insults all of my things, most of wich are better them his, And he always make a point out of beating me and also s to the high heavens when i win. I just dont play him anymore, and if this is how that "friend" of yours is like that i would just stay away because those "rule lawyers" are really annoying and best avoided. Also,n do not get violent as this might get You kicked out of the lgs, and he probally is not worth it any way.

Anyone who plays a game of army men to "only win" is a complete loser. If that is a person's enjoyment in life, they are a loser. I mean, like i said, this is essentially army men with rules. We have a couple of people like this at my LGS and everyone feels the same about them. I get so frustrated hearing about this stuff. People, we are playing a tabletop game here. In the grand scheme of things, it doesn't matter who wins or loses....seriously. People like this should just find another hobby, or perhaps a woman friend.

I'm not sayin....I'm just sayin...

Let the flames begin!!!!