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Okay.. I know that some, maybe many, maybe most, gamers-at least those under the age of 20- are the kind that try to keep that part of their life secret...

Why?

Okay, yes.. you may be judged, you may be called a nerd... But even the coolest guy who plays warhammer is still a nerd.

Please discuss this closet gamer syndrome, 'cause I don't really understand it

I don't either. I make no attempt to keep my nerd-dom a secret.

Well have you ever been beat up badly?Once I got jumped and got the &*#$ kicked outta me just for getting an A on my maths test,so I can only imagine what they would have done to me if I added that"hey look its little plastic men I play with them!"

There's not a lot of space in a closet, to be honest. That's the biggest problem.

Tau are at a serious disadvantage.

Hmm well i guess im a closet gamer ( though i stopped gamming now ) But i can tell you about when i used to play i guess?

Ppl naturally group you to who you hang out or associate with , this is true right?

But you have to admit many ( not all ) of the gamers are abit not your average people. As in over the top , hard core, geeky, nerdy etc etc.

And then you have the usual theory of saying " if you are a gamer, you must be a geek or a nerd, or someone ugly, or someone thats a social reject" .

While someone thats less socially favored tend to end up gamming , compared to say active cheer leading is understandable. BUT thats not saying every geeks find gaming fun , Nor does cool people automatically assume gaming to be NOT fun.

Thus i guess closet gamer is for someone that is geek at heart , but dont want to be judged along by the rest of the friends / society.

I got in plenty of fight, but then again, I grew up in such a violent school district that It seemed like just another part of getting by. I can't say that I was ever any good at fighting, but I managed to hold my own and at least keep the bullies who pick on weaklings away from me. Of course, I was a C student, so the geek-haters never singled me out. Just keep in mind that they will spend their lives working dead-end jobs and you will probably invent something that will make you a millionaire. The you can hire one of them to mow your lawn.

I don't game anymore since I moved away from most of my mates who do, but me and a new mate in London are properly looking forward to the new Space Hulk. My only gaming related hobby now is occasional painting, and whilst I don't keep it secret, I don't bring it up in conversation, but will defend the hobby if it does. It's not that I'm ashamed, or that my friends won't talk to me or crap like that, it'll just that they're not in to it, so why talk about it?

I am out and out a geek no matter what anyone says I don't look like what people stereo type geeks to be but I am one so people have sorta classed me into the closet gamer category as they don't belive I wargame they belive I play rugby and soccer and genrally engage in mind numming sessions of well sport.I do play cricket but I feel a little insulted most people dont think I am smart enough to be playing with minis and dont belive that I accually do well at school!

I'm not in the closet, but I don't go around yelling about it.

Should a girl ask me my hobbies, I'll easily say "I paint plastic models and use them in a game", but at the same point I dont go, "For the Empurer!" during a game of kickball. Sometimes the person who's in the closet ain't a nerd. My bro plays sometimes, but he plays football too. None of his buddies knows what wargaming is, and he doesn't intend on telling them.

So, in short, I'm standing in front of the closet. I'm a nerd at heart but I can adapt to others who aren't comfortable about my hobby.


And no, no one's ever beat me up about it. I've gotten in some pretty awful fights though, always ending up in me being restrained by my buddies before I eat the other person alive. Not fun.

Greebynog wrote:I don't game anymore since I moved away from most of my mates who do, but me and a new mate in London are properly looking forward to the new Space Hulk. My only gaming related hobby now is occasional painting, and whilst I don't keep it secret, I don't bring it up in conversation, but will defend the hobby if it does. It's not that I'm ashamed, or that my friends won't talk to me or crap like that, it'll just that they're not in to it, so why talk about it?

That's pretty much my situation now.

I hate nerds, plain and simple. Well not that simple I hate nerds that fall into the stereotypes and allow geekiness to define their personality and hobbies.

For example, someone who uses "epic fail" in conversations, talks about the in fashion video games, plays DS in class and wears a Quidditch club shirt. I'm sure some people legitimately likes those things, but if that person sat down for a minute and asked themselves: "Do I like these things because I think they're fun or because other nerds think they're cool?" They would probably come to same conclusion as someone who watches HIMYM, uses a mac in Starbucks, wears knitted clothes and carries around an acoustic.

Again I'm not saying any of these things are really lame (maybe the Starbucks one) but seeing someone putting their multiple geek habits on display makes me suspicious of how well defined their personality is.

Also it hampers my luck with ladies, I'll be thrice cursed if I'm saying I play with toy soldier to a girl on the bus.

I'm a nerd, but most people don't have a problem with it. What other nerds don't get is the fact that people won't judge you on it. Heck, I know plenty of adults who live happy and respectable lives, have a family, and are wargamers. I hang out with about a dozen or more people in my grade at school, and they all know I play Warhammer. Even though they aren't necessarily similar to me in personality, they respect my hobby.

@avantgarde: If you got a girlfriend, she'd have to find out anyway.

And loads of people talk about video games in public. I'll be sitting on the bus or walking down the road and people will be talking about the latest games and what to buy.

I'd rather someone be a closet gamer than an annoyance who wants to tell me about their 50 page boobmarine fanfic.

I don’t think I’ve ever volunteered that I’m a wargamer. It needs a lot of explanation and will often introduce a whole pile of baggage. It just isn’t worth the hassle compared to telling someone about the other parts of my life.

That said, I’m not ashamed of it, and will talk to geek friends about our geeky interests wherever the conversations happens. This makes me a little different to some geeks I know, who absolutely will not give any indication of their geekiness when they’re in public… the world must not know.

If someone asked me what my hobbies were i'd tell them without hesitation i don't even know what pigeon hole i would be put in, I love my PC and take great pride in it being "UBER POWERFUL" *giggle* i enjoy building and painting warhammer and warhammer 40k, i love to get drunk and go clubbing until the wee hours, i read a Lot and could quote most horror movies word for word. I also go to the theater and have a unhealthy obsession with offensive T-shirts. I have no idea where people would place me. Either way i'm not shy about telling people what i enjoy doing. I must add though that my main social circle is very accepting.
we do a weekend away every year and everyone takes a hobby with them that they want to spend some time on. My painting gear comes with me, My bloke and another guy work on building there petrol remote control cars, some people knit a few practice cooking, others sew and a couple are writing books. i am the only one who paints but since there is a 6ft 8 biker bloke who is knitting i really dont feel out of place.

The simple answer is to have more than one hobby. I used to take great pleasure in being a jock and a bully. Mostly because I'd ask what some gamers were playing and they'd give me an smart ass remark for no reason and a fight would break out. Now I game among other things. I think gamers need to just have more than one hobby or they risk becoming obssesive over it.

to be honest, i got some pretty decent comments when i was at school

i used to hang out with the "cool" crowd, all i got from that was addicted to smoking.
allthough most of em thought my painting was pretty class and didnt really give me any gak for it.

I'll talk about it if it comes up, and usually make a bit of a self deprecating joke out of it. Sometimes people are interested, so I'll explain a bit more. But most of the time people aren't so I don't bring it up, and if it comes up I keep it fairly short and to the point. To me it's the same is being mad into sports and talking about it all the time- that's boring and incomprehensible to me, same as wargaming would be boring and incomprehensible to others..

Put me in the "I hate geek pride" bracket too. Being a sci fi fan or a wargamer isn't something to be proud of, it's just a hobby. It's like being proud of knitting. One of the things I hate about convention gaming is all the egomaniacs for whom the gaming scene is everything.

well i'm proud of everything i do i wouldn't do something i wasn't proud of. so put me in the pride group!

I'm generally only proud of something if it was difficult or had a very large positive impact. Apart from that I try to keep level headed.

Well, as indicated from my opening remark, I am not a closet gamer... The miniatures are actually a funny conversation point for my friends, who good naturedly rib me for my hobbies, while I make fun of their intelligence .

I guess I'm in the pride group... I'm not the kind of guy who wears a name tag saying "Thrak, level 8 barbarian" but I am the guy who, when asked about interests, usually put D&D, basketball, Warhammer, and surfing in the top categories .

The one thing that really annoys me... okay, one of several things that really annoy me is when nerds (like me) get all self-righteous about their hobby... The 40 year old virgin who returns your polite questions with sarcasm and ridcule should have the lunch money that his mom gave him earlier that morning stolen from him so that he knows his place

I've figured out a way to pretty much diffuse any crap that is hurled your way by the barely sentient gorillas that may inhabit the sports teams, or any other cliques in society: Don't take yourself so seriously... none of us are that amazing to begin with, and taking every insult personally just leads to needlessly hard feelings...

anyways, that's my story, and advice i guess

sexiest_hero wrote:The simple answer is to have more than one hobby. I used to take great pleasure in being a jock and a bully. Mostly because I'd ask what some gamers were playing and they'd give me an smart ass remark for no reason and a fight would break out. Now I game among other things. I think gamers need to just have more than one hobby or they risk becoming obssesive over it.

Posting on an Internet forum about your hobby doesn't count as a separate hobby?

*cries*

Shrike78 wrote:
Don't take yourself so seriously... none of us are that amazing to begin with, and taking every insult personally just leads to needlessly hard feelings...

Good advice.

malfred wrote:

sexiest_hero wrote:The simple answer is to have more than one hobby. I used to take great pleasure in being a jock and a bully. Mostly because I'd ask what some gamers were playing and they'd give me an smart ass remark for no reason and a fight would break out. Now I game among other things. I think gamers need to just have more than one hobby or they risk becoming obssesive over it.

Posting on an Internet forum about your hobby doesn't count as a separate hobby?

*cries*

Cool kids use twitter or facebook for their online communication. Sorry malf.

LunaHound wrote:Hmm well i guess im a closet gamer ( though i stopped gamming now ) But i can tell you about when i used to play i guess?

Ppl naturally group you to who you hang out or associate with , this is true right?

But you have to admit many ( not all ) of the gamers are abit not your average people. As in over the top , hard core, geeky, nerdy etc etc.

And then you have the usual theory of saying " if you are a gamer, you must be a geek or a nerd, or someone ugly, or someone thats a social reject" .

While someone thats less socially favored tend to end up gamming , compared to say active cheer leading is understandable. BUT thats not saying every geeks find gaming fun , Nor does cool people automatically assume gaming to be NOT fun.

Thus i guess closet gamer is for someone that is geek at heart , but dont want to be judged along by the rest of the friends / society.

I have been classified as a Social Reject. I'm also pretty sure I'm antisocial. I keep my gaming low key, but I don't fully hide it. Who knows, I just may end up finding someone who shares my interest. But for the must part, I get soe insults, but I don't care. Why care what people that you hate think about you?

I try to relate with people as best as I can...

If someone's not into Warhammer at all, and has no chance in hell of being into Warhammer at any given time, then why would I even bring it up?

If I'm with a friend who is into Warhammer, however, I'll have no problem talking about it.

It's pretty much as simple as that.

I've honestly never thought much about " closet gaming", I've always been into horror and sci-fi and when I first was introduced to 40k I just thought "well this is cool".
I've never been considered a "nerd" by anyone,however I would assume that's because for the greater chunk of my teen into early 30s life I had "bizzare" hair (including a foot high mohawk) am coverd in tattooes,have loads of piercings,stand about 6 foot 4 inches and weigh 250 pounds and have also played bass guitar in several "punk" bands.
Basicly the people who know me just see me painting & playing with "little plastic men " as just a facet of my normaly "bizzare" behavior.

Chrysaor686 wrote:I try to relate with people as best as I can...

If someone's not into Warhammer at all, and has no chance in hell of being into Warhammer at any given time, then why would I even bring it up?

If I'm with a friend who is into Warhammer, however, I'll have no problem talking about it.

It's pretty much as simple as that.

Ah i understand that , but what if say you are in a mall with your friends
and you suddenly remembered you need to pick up some paint ><

and then you friends would be like " no....way in hell im going in there"

Would you go in while they wait outside? or would you go back to GW shop after your friends left for the day?

LunaHound wrote:Ah i understand that , but what if say you are in a mall with your friends
and you suddenly remembered you need to pick up some paint ><

and then you friends would be like " no....way in hell im going in there"

Would you go in while they wait outside? or would you go back to GW shop after your friends left for the day?

Well, my FLGS is pretty out of the way of...well...everything. I would literally have to be headed there to run into it with a group of my friends. If we were by, say, a hobby store though, they wouldn't give a damn if I went in and picked up some paints, brushes, exacto knives, etc., as a lot of my friends are artists. If it did happen to somehow play out that way, then hell yeah, they're waiting outside.

All of my friends know that I'm into Warhammer, but I just don't bring it up unless they're into it to. It would kind of be like trying to hold a conversation about sports with me. You'd get a lot of blank expressions and false affirmations. And that's on a good day.

I was a closet gamer from when I started (age 14-ish) to about halfway through university. Now I'm more open about the hobby, but I'm not going to bring it up or talk about it with someone I know won't be interested. The fact of the matter is that certain people will judge you based on inaccurate (or sometimes accurate) generalizations about the hobby. If you want to avoid this kind of thing, you just steer clear from it. I will talk about the hobby if someone asks about it though, and if someone asks me what I did the night before and I was in my room painting, I'll tell them so.

I'm not sure why the change came along. Now that I'm nearing my mid-20s, my friends are generally the kind of people that are going to be sticking around for a long time and aren't going to judge me for gaming any more than I judge them for using more harmful drugs or wasting their money on other things.