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In my hundreds of years I have found this to be 100% accurate.
NINE WORDS WOMEN USE
(1) Fine: This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right and you need to shut up.
(2) Five Minutes: If she is getting dressed, this means a half an hour. Five minutes is only five minutes if you have just been given five more minutes to watch the game before helping around the house.
(3) Nothing: This is the calm before the storm. This means something, and you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with nothing usually end in fine.
(4) Go Ahead: This is a dare, not permission. Don't Do It!
(5) Loud Sigh: This is actually a word, but is a non-verbal statement often misunderstood by men. A loud sigh means she thinks you are an idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you about nothing. (Refer back to # 3 for the meaning of nothing.)
(6) That's Okay: This is one of the most dangerous statements a women can make to a man. That's okay means she wants to think long and hard before deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake.
(7) Thanks: A woman is thanking you, do not question, or faint. Just say you're welcome. (I want to add in a clause here - This is true, unless she says 'Thanks a lot' - that is PURE sarcasm and she is not thanking you at all. DO NOT say 'you're welcome' . that will bring on a 'whatever').
(8) Whatever: Is a woman's way of saying F-- YOU!
(9) Don't worry about it, I'll do it: Another dangerous statement, meaning this is something that a woman has told a man to do several times, but is now doing herself. This will later result in a man asking 'What's wrong?' For the woman's response refer to # 3.
-"Wait a minute.....who is that Frazz is talking to in the gallery? Hmmm something is going on here.....Oh.... it seems there is some dispute over video taping of some sort......Frazz is really upset now..........wait a minute......whats he go there.......is it? Can it be?....Frazz has just unleashed his hidden weiner dog from his mini bag, while quoting shakespeares "Let slip the dogs the war!!" GG
-"Don't mind Frazzled. He's just Dakka's crazy old dude locked in the attic. He's harmless. Mostly."
-TBone the Magnificent 1999-2014, Long Live the King!
Although I don't let women get away with this, instead preferring to confront their wonky logic.
Remember Gentlemen, Sexual Equality swings both ways (MATRON!) so don't give in. If they give one word answers, call them out on it.
Though it might be worth checking if she's Up On Blocks before doing so. It seems to be law that wimmin can throw complete wobblers over absolutely nothing for one week every month. And those experienced in the world of wimmins, will notice that week seems to come whenever it is convenient for her to throw a wobbler over something.
Fed up of Scalpers? But still want your Exclusives? Why not join us?
Once a girl I was with did a 5, then gave me a 3 after I asked her why she was doing a 5. Then I told her 5 was not a natural thing people don't 5 naturaly and she must have meant something by it, bad idea! I got a lot of 8 before a huge 5 and then I can't remember what happened as I went deaf.
Automatically Appended Next Post: oh and to follow up that, later on she tells me what was wrong as if argument a never happened. I could have asked "why didn't you just tell me when I asked before" but I thought I'd better steer on the side of safety.
This message was edited 3 times. Last update was at 2009/07/14 16:56:14
5, or prolonged silence when some social interaction might normally be called for, is also a signal that she wants you to ask her is there is something wrong, so she can tear you a new bottom hole.
I've learnt one thing about women, they never tell you to do something directly, and they don't like being told either. So when a women says 'would you mind...' she means 'do'. And when you're trying to organise something never say 'you need to', you say 'would it be possible for you to'. I don't know why this matters, but it does.
“We may observe that the government in a civilized country is much more expensive than in a barbarous one; and when we say that one government is more expensive than another, it is the same as if we said that that one country is farther advanced in improvement than another. To say that the government is expensive and the people not oppressed is to say that the people are rich.”
Adam Smith, who must have been some kind of leftie or something.
Wha? aka what/who/when/where/why?: Sorry I am not prepared to answer your question at this time. I'll get back to you if I remember. now please move, you're in the way of this movie I've seen 37 times.
Yes. means yes
No. means no
Ok. See Wha? above. The likelihood I'll remember is almost negligible, but I will remember you telling me previously and will get annoyed you brought it up yet again.
This message was edited 1 time. Last update was at 2009/07/14 18:39:47
-"Wait a minute.....who is that Frazz is talking to in the gallery? Hmmm something is going on here.....Oh.... it seems there is some dispute over video taping of some sort......Frazz is really upset now..........wait a minute......whats he go there.......is it? Can it be?....Frazz has just unleashed his hidden weiner dog from his mini bag, while quoting shakespeares "Let slip the dogs the war!!" GG
-"Don't mind Frazzled. He's just Dakka's crazy old dude locked in the attic. He's harmless. Mostly."
-TBone the Magnificent 1999-2014, Long Live the King!
You want to annoy a woman just tell her the truth that you're not going to give an answer because its a charade and irrelevant. but just be fully up to speed on your dodge and weave technique. you'll be employing it soon. I know, oh I know...
-"Wait a minute.....who is that Frazz is talking to in the gallery? Hmmm something is going on here.....Oh.... it seems there is some dispute over video taping of some sort......Frazz is really upset now..........wait a minute......whats he go there.......is it? Can it be?....Frazz has just unleashed his hidden weiner dog from his mini bag, while quoting shakespeares "Let slip the dogs the war!!" GG
-"Don't mind Frazzled. He's just Dakka's crazy old dude locked in the attic. He's harmless. Mostly."
-TBone the Magnificent 1999-2014, Long Live the King!
Always tell women exactly what's on your mind, even if it's absolutely nothing. They'll spend hours interrogating you because they A) Don't believe you or B) Refuse to accept the truth. Never back down, that's what they want. To train us like dogs. They need us to have children and listen to their stupid stories, so just persevere and you'll be okay, or you'll get a knife stuck in you. (My little pumpkin chose option B, and it worked out best for both of us. Hey, little pumpkin, having a nice time on the lam?)
Shamfrit wrote:I'd like to see the male version plox?
Thats easy . EVERYTHING a man says that supposedly to be "true" can easily end up false.
With the excuse of "it would be true if it wasnt the other head talking"
"I'm fine..." generally means "Feth Off." or "I'm not good." Generally only used in the first context with women, when saying "Feth Off" is a bad idea. Usually the hint is not taken and they repeat the question, prompting the same answer. At least when I say "I'm fine."
Also, at least with me anyway, the tone of voice generally has a great deal to do with the actual meaning. To use "I'm fine" as an example again
With a mono tone it means "Meh"
With a slightly cheery tone it means "I'm fine (good)"
Slightly angered (see Feth Off)
This message was edited 1 time. Last update was at 2009/07/16 09:34:14
Two men have an arguement, and they'll go get beers that evening, everything forgiven.
Two women have the same fight, and they don't talk for 5 years.
In the dark future, there are skulls for everyone. But only the bad guys get spikes. And rivets for all, apparently welding was lost in the Dark Age of Technology. -from C.Borer
Never, ever played that game. You want my help or have a problem? Fine, talk to me about it. Use code and you will have a very long wait.
Live your life that the fear of death can never enter your heart. Trouble no one about his religion. Respect others in their views and demand that they respect yours. Love your life, perfect your life. Beautify all things in your life. Seek to make your life long and of service to your people. When your time comes to die, be not like those whose hearts are filled with fear of death, so that when their time comes they weep and pray for a little more time to live their lives over again in a different way. Sing your death song, and die like a hero going home.
Lt. Rorke - Act of Valor
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