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As the title suggests, I am thinking about getting my girlfriend involved in 40K and beyond. We live together and have done so for years and I think it would be a good idea to have a hobby we can enjoy together and have some common ground and interest in. Any of you Dakkites out there have experience with going about this? If so, did it work and if not, why not? I was thinking of breaking her in gently. so to speak, with some games of Space Hulk tonight...

EDIT: Forgot to mention, she has helped me paint some models before so it wouldn't be entirely a bolt from the blue!

Don't involve your girlfriend.
Its better to have different hobbies.
Has she any?

Show her a load of pics of the armies you can get for said game. Ask her what army she likes and then ask if she would like to paint and play games with them.

Buy her a set of them - this is almost mandatory i'm afraid - and you're there.

Worked for my wife who I got into MTG and GW.

Don't involve your girlfriend.
Its better to have different hobbies.
Has she any?

Not really and there in lies the rub. She is always mentioning that she wants a hobby, something to relax with when she comes home from work and so on and so forth. It got me to thinking seeing several people on here and from my circle of gaming friends who also participate with their wives/ girlfriends. Not all of them game of course, but at the very least they help with painting etc. I just thought it would be nice for us to share a hobby and spend some time together at the same time, not always easy when you both work (plus she works some odd shifts too as she works in a store, meaning we dont have as much time together as a 'normal' couple)

Why don't you just suggest that she should have a go at painting one of your models next time when she comes home and mentions that she wants something to wing down with.

Then when she is doing that why don't you suggest purchasing some models that would be her own. Just take her into a store and have a browse and then voila she is into the hobby.

I find most of the time, the girlfriend prefers the painting nrather then the game itself.

I think attempting to get others involved is a good idea, but don't try to hard; if they say no the first time there is still hope, as is the third and second, but after that forget it!

Let her pick up what parts of it she wants. You cannot 'get her into it'. She will either see you doing it and start asking questions, that you can answer encouragingly, or she won't, which is probably a good sign not to pester her about it. My best advice is to have things on hand, so that if she starts asking, you can offer to let her try it at that time.

Have a random figure available, so that if she sees you painting, you can offer it to her. Have a second (small) army available, so if she asks about the game, you can demo it. Sometimes timing is everything, and if you have to pick these things up later, you'll miss your chance.

Also, don't try to force specific parts of it on her. My wife, for example, likes some of the fluff (she just cross-stitched me a chaos star), and likes making terrain. She'll join in apocalypse games, as long as she doesn't have to decide what her guys do, but she doesn't really like one-on-one games. That's what she enjoys - I'm not going to be able to get her into playing one-on-one games, it's a waste of both of our time to try.

wuestenfux wrote:Don't involve your girlfriend.
Its better to have different hobbies.
Has she any?

This is also my recommendation. If she likes doing things that are crafty of any type you could talk to her about crochet or knitting. I've found this particularly helpful with my wife because she has no real interest in mini's other than saying "ooh that's pretty" or "looks good dear", but wanting to spend time with me. After suggesting she find some hobby that she could hang out with and do herself while still sitting at a table with me and having conversation/personal time together she looked at these two things and ended up loving them. We sit and I paint and she crochet's. She gives me crap because she makes blankets faster than I paint my armies. :p

My .02 cents.

Good luck mate - hardest thing in the world. If you find a way, let me know!

Well when I met my future wife she found out pretty quickly what I was into. War Gaming is my major hobby, so I'd found I need someone who can either be completely tolerant of it or even encouraging. If they played too, all the better. The key is to get them to where they accept it. I've seen plenty of guys have their day ruined by their S.O. giving them sh!t about their gaming hobby. Your girl doesn't have to game, so long as she simply leaves you alone about it and lets you enjoy you hobby.

Both of you having different hobbies is good, as it means that she has a hobby. If she's got something she's into pretty intensely than she'll understand your desire to have your own space and time for your pursuits.

If you're wanting to get your S.O. into gaming, start lite and with some of the more non-directly competitive games. The various euro games and card games make good gateway games. If you start a miniature game, don't collect an army "together", let her have her own. Start one of your own different armies so you can play against her (or co-op) but progress at her rate. Don't go out and drop a ton of cash on a horde of figures and make a killer power gaming army to play her with (and crush her) if she is collecting figures because they look cool.

The best way to get your significant other into the hobby is not to try to. Let her decide for herself.

"HEYHONEYWANNAGETINTO40KIT'LLBEFUN"

"..."

In some ways I'm thankful my girlfriend isn't that interested in getting in to 40K, she on occasion has expressed some interest in building a small army..but never pursues it,she likes to see the models I paint,give some advice now and again,but that's about it.
I sort of like the fact that 40k is my own little island in our relationship,a place I can go to be by myself and enjoy some me time.

My girlfriend likes the painting side of the hobby, but doesn't have the time or money to invest in it. I think it's comfortable that we each have different interests, yet have some common ground that we can both appreciate.

For actual content:
Try playing a small introductory game. Have each of you take a squad and fight on a small 2x2 table or something. Keep it around 300 points and take it really slow. If she enjoys it, try going up to 500 and so on. If she doesn't enjoy it, no biggie.

Don't try and "get her" into 40k.

However if she's mildly interested in the hobby aspect, then promote it as a way to spend some time together. The focus should be on that idea= being together, rather than trying to figure out if she want's to play eldar or not.

Instead of bringing her into the hobby, let her start with something else, example is some canvas and some acrylic paint and let her loose, if she enjoys it slowly let her introduce to your wargaming side, if not let her do what she likes best. good luck

Thanks for all the tips, suffice to say we had a gentle game of Space Hulk last night that came off quite well and she said, and I quote, 'I quite enjoyed it'. Early days, but maybe she is getting into it - we shall see!

Hmm... forgive me for been blunt ( i feel bad to crush the dream :x)

She is always mentioning that she wants a hobby, something to relax with when she comes home from work and so on and so forth.
But does she mention warhammer ever? knowing thats your hobby?

Not all of them game of course, but at the very least they help with painting etc.
Has she ever volunteered to help paint ? more than 3 times?
First time out of curiosity
2nd time because she dont want to be obvious she hates doing it.
3rd time to because she loves you.


I just thought it would be nice for us to share a hobby and spend some time together at the same time ,
not always easy when you both work (plus she works some odd shifts too as she works in a store, meaning we dont have as much time together as a 'normal' couple).
I agree thats unfortunate , but warhammer might not be the one.

My significant other used to show quite a bit of interest in 40K, when she saw me painting the minis... but that interest quickly turned into outrage when she found out just how much money this hobby costs.

Then I recently started some WW2 wargaming, with readily available and cheap 1/72 scale plastic models (such as AirFix, Italeri, Revell, etc).

Once she found out that the hobby doesn't necessarily break the bank, she's been showing a lot of interest.

YMMV, but the sheer cost of GW minis were the real problem with getting my S.O to join in, especially when you're living off your shared income.

LunaHound wrote:Hmm... forgive me for been blunt ( i feel bad to crush the dream :x)

She is always mentioning that she wants a hobby, something to relax with when she comes home from work and so on and so forth.
But does she mention warhammer ever? knowing thats your hobby?

Not all of them game of course, but at the very least they help with painting etc.
Has she ever volunteered to help paint ? more than 3 times?
First time out of curiosity
2nd time because she dont want to be obvious she hates doing it.
3rd time to because she loves you.


I just thought it would be nice for us to share a hobby and spend some time together at the same time ,
not always easy when you both work (plus she works some odd shifts too as she works in a store, meaning we dont have as much time together as a 'normal' couple).
I agree thats unfortunate , but warhammer might not be the one.

Please feel free to dispose as you see fit that's what a discussion forum is for. In answer to your points, yes she mentions 40k as something to do since she has seen it keeps me occupied. Secondly, she has offered to paint several minis without any coercion or input on my part on several occasions so I think she is genuinely interested. I know it's difficult for me to demonstrate my character over the internet and no-one knows me, but I feel I need to point out I am definately not trying to force her into anything just because I like it and think it would be a good idea; she has shown interest of her own free will so I would naturally like to follow up on this.

angelbleu wrote:My significant other used to show quite a bit of interest in 40K, when she saw me painting the minis... but that interest quickly turned into outrage when she found out just how much money this hobby costs.

Then I recently started some WW2 wargaming, with readily available and cheap 1/72 scale plastic models (such as AirFix, Italeri, Revell, etc).

Once she found out that the hobby doesn't necessarily break the bank, she's been showing a lot of interest.

YMMV, but the sheer cost of GW minis were the real problem with getting my S.O to join in, especially when you're living off your shared income.

Not to be a braggart, but the income thing isn't too much of an issue; yes GW stuff is murderously expensive but the hobby comes out of my own personal disposable income so doesnt affect anything else and the missus is fine with that.

there's a number of ways,

my GF has started helping painting scenery, shes not rally into the game itself but i did strike a deal with her... or to be honest she took my probings for her to learn and struck me with a deal.

She learns to play the ame (But will continue to paint scenery and help on terrain regardless) and i have to learn ballroom dancing...

you decide if its worth this sort of trade off to get her hooked.

Play on womens weaknesses It's all about how you come across.

BAD- Don't come across as some horrendous GW fanboy. You're not going to want her to experience the cringe-fest that is your local GW store, complete with high pitched men with beards, loud feral children and the smell of acne and farts.
Also, I wouldn't bother trying to get her into the game. Having your 'other half' pissed because you dropped some ordnance on her prized unit would make for a great episode of Trisha.
Perhaps most importantly; she won't know about the soul destroying price of the game, which will definitely be your fault.

DO'S- Show here your creative, quiet side. Paint models you'll know she'll be into. Generalization normally pays off. Girly models are your best bet; so think elves. Unless she's some fearsome Viking queen the ladies love something a little pretty. Get her to ''help out'', but be a tease. What I mean is, make her paint slottabases green for a day. She'll be bored and jealous watching you, and if the planets are alligned, she'll ask for something more adventurous. Praise her first efforts, even if they look like she graduated from the Stevie Wonder School of Colour Theory. There's always something positive you can point out.

At the end of the day, you'll know how she'll respond. My gf is very open minded, but I still hide my GW stuff away as if it was gay porn. Why? Because I'm ashamed. If you have found someone who is mature and fun, and who will quitely gain from GW herself through your tuition, I salute you.

All the best.

As soon as my Space Hulk arrives Im going to get my guy involved.

Miss Dee wrote:As soon as my Space Hulk arrives Im going to get my guy involved.

I want a girl like you, Dee

Anti-Mag wrote:...but I still hide my GW stuff away as if it was gay porn. Why? Because I'm ashamed...

That tickled me. I found myself doing that with paint and brushes through the mail, i guess I'm known for being a little geeky but I know id get torn to shreds for it.


Unfortunately I have no S.O. to share my interests with but, on topic...Your girlfriend/wife seems interested in what you do so just ask her, "Do you want to have a go at painting one of my 'toys'...or mini's/warhammer/whatever she knows them as.


Slappy

Skarwael wrote:

Miss Dee wrote:As soon as my Space Hulk arrives Im going to get my guy involved.

I want a girl like you, Dee

I got the table cleared and was about to teach him the Wizkids ccg ships game and two hours later the table had junk on it.

I got my wife to play Space Hulk with me.....oh, what a mistake....she has all the tactical ability of a blind water snake!.....I nearly won, as the Marine player...until I told her to stop closing doors after she'd passed through them, and stop hording your blips....you're an Alien and their expendable....

To be fair, like anything, if the other half is interested let them in, but don't try to convince them to play...it'llbe trouble for you and for them!

In my experience, it's all dependent on what she's like. In general, the best approachs are those talked about here: take it slow, make it clear that you're comfortable having her involved, but dont' apply any pressure.

Odds are, she's not going to be involved in the full aspect of the hobby, but she might find some stuff she likes. And some people just like being involved in the S.O.'s interests, even if it's not something that really interests them.

My gf mostly just makes fun of me but I am slowly getting her into gaming kind of stuff. She always enjoys rpg video games and such and she even painted a few things I gave her. She really really enjoys painting and used to do alot of free hand on canvas and such. So maybe one day I'll ask if she wants to learn but not at my GW store Dragoncon was bad enough lol.

My wife wanted to try painting once. She started on the cape of a dwarf guy with me showing her how to apply the paint on another figure. She was into it for about 5 minutes. She then spent the next hour painting little flowers on her cell phone.

I think the suggestion of crochet or craft stuff might be best. Or baking. It's always awesome to get cookies and stuff.

Since she is already interested this is what i would suggest..


1. Make your hobby supplies fully available to her and EASY to get to. If she finds it frustrating sharing your supplies go out and buy some for her. Clippers, paint brushes, wet pallet, hobby knife and so on.

2. Take her out shopping for minis to paint and paints that she likes. Don't push 40k on her but let her pick out the minis that she wants to paint.

3. If you go to your local gaming stores to play, offer to take her with you and suggest she bring her paints so she can paint while you play if she chooses.

4. Be Supportive (like you wouldn't)

5. Find painting and modeling Tutorials online & in Magazines for her so she can learn how to paint and model on her own time.

Good Luck!