Two thousand and twelve reasons to not watch 2012...

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**Flashman**

Here's 12 to get you started...

1. It's directed by Roland Emmerich who has not made a good film since Independene Day (and ID4 isn't that good).

2. If this big end of the world thing really is going to happen in 2012, hang on for another three years and watch it for free (preferably in the vicinity of a large spectacular looking building/monument).

3. It features John Cusack selling out yet again which is depressing to watch (we let Con Air go John because it was fun, but please get back to making cool films like High Fidelity).

4. There's a cute and no doubt annoying child who from the trailer appears to have a prominent role.

5. CGI

6. If you watch this tosh at the cinema this week, New Moon will be your only viewing option next week.

7. End of the world films are depressing.

8. There appears to be no option to cough up an extra £5 for the pleasure of watching the film whilst wearing a pair of silly glasses. I like to have this option, so I can have the satisfaction of not taking it.

9. Oh for feth's sake, according to wikipedia, John Cusack plays a character who is divorced from his wife. It is pratically the law in disaster movies to be divorced from your wife.

10. No mention on the cast list of Megan Fox. Slapdash casting decisions there...

11. It only has a 45% score on Rotten Tomatoes.

12. Emmerich is planning a spin-off TV series. If the film does badly at the box office, we should at least be spared that crap.

Over to you...

**GoFenris**

13. - Kurt Russell as Imitation MacReady and Kieth David as Imitation Childs are not in it. See sig for more info.

14. - No zombies (At least I haven't heard of any)

**Crablezworth**

15. Disaster porn proves much harder to masterbate to unless you're 1 percenter

**Asherian Command**

16. This will never happen.

17. This will scare alot of people

**Cane**

Looking at his IMDB list there are only two movies I enjoyed that he's done: The Patriot and Independence Day. Interesting that a German such as Roland Emmerich has a fascination with American pride but hey its worked well for him I suppose.

**Platuan4th**

Flashman wrote:8. There appears to be no option to cough up an extra £5 for the pleasure of watching the film whilst wearing a pair of silly glasses. I like to have this option, so I can have the satisfaction of not taking it.

You guys pay for yours? Seriously?

**Morathi's Darkest Sin**

Aye and not only that up until reccently our local cinema wouldn't let you take an old pair in.

Fortuantely the 'saving the enviroment' card worked out in favour of the average person this time. As some kids pointed out it was bad to the enviroment to not let folks reuse them, so to avoid looking bad they changed the rules from Nov 1st.

I might watch 2012, when it comes on Sky next year.

**Cannerus_The_Unbearable**

#6 would be valid except it's already sold out everywhere

**CaptainCommunsism**

#18: That's 20$ (ticket + popcorn) or equivalent better spent elsewhere. Like on a book. Or a better movie.

**Orkeosaurus**

19: The entire concept of a "2012 doomsday" makes me think Idiocracy is the better disastrous future movie.

20: The movie sounds very similar to The Day After Tomorrow, which is one of the worst movie's I've ever seen.

21: If the Mayans were so fething smart they would have learned what wheels were.

**Cheese Elemental**

#22: The 2012 Doomsday is a hoax.

#23: Watching America get owned over and over gets old real fast.

**Khornholio**

You had me at #5.

**Altered_Soul**

#24: Why, god, WHY would you fly a plane UNDER the HIGHWAY, as it's completely COLLAPSING? TWICE.

**Valkyrie**

Altered_Soul wrote:#24: Why, god, WHY would you fly a plane UNDER the HIGHWAY, as it's completely COLLAPSING? TWICE.

Because then you can claim a 4+ cover save from falling debris

**garret**

Reason to watch.
1: it looks great and well great.

**Altered_Soul**

Valkyrie wrote:
Altered_Soul wrote:#24: Why, god, WHY would you fly a plane UNDER the HIGHWAY, as it's completely COLLAPSING? TWICE.

Because then you can claim a 4+ cover save from falling debris

I am pretty sure Mother Nature has Move Through Cover and my guess is that the debris is actually D6" of S3 wounds. But since the plane is moving All Out, we all know how that will end.

**Waaagh_Gonads**

I'm going to watch it in an hour and a half.

Haven't been to the movies in 8 weeks and the only other movie I've thought about seeing is 'This is it', and that will be better on DVD.

Disaster movies are made for the big screen.

Automatically Appended Next Post:
I'm thinking it will be similar in dopey schmaltzy ameriloving dad/daughter/son rubbish (i.e. war of the worlds and 2 days before the day after tomorrow) but I don't care. I want to see things blow up.

**youbedead**

25. the mayan calender predicts a change to the second calender not the end of the world

**Turbo10k**

26.Physics are not included in the Hollywood agenda...waves 30m high in MIDDLE OF THE ATLANTIC???

27. Its the sort of film where its all bang-wow-now what?

**Albatross**

28. 'The Men Who Stare at Goats' is out soon. The book was awesome, and the cast is fairly rad, too. Save your cash for that.

29. Or 'Harry Brown'.

30. Or 'The Imaginarium of Dr. Parnassus

31. Hell, even 'An Educution' looks better.

**tblock1984**

youbedead wrote:25. the mayan calender predicts a change to the second calender not the end of the world

QFT, you beat me to it.

I will make this #32 anyway.

Wiki wrote:1 Day = 1 K'in
20 K'in = 1 Winal
18 Winal = 1 Tun
20 Tun = 1 K'atun
20 K'atun = 1 B'ak'tun

Misinterpretation of the Mesoamerican Long Count calendar is the basis for a New Age belief that a cataclysm will take place on December 21, 2012. December 20, 2012 is simply the last day of the 13th b'ak'tun, which began September 18, 1618 (1,728,000 days from the beginning of the calendar).

Sandra Noble, executive director of the Mesoamerican research organization FAMSI, notes that "for the ancient Maya, it was a huge celebration to make it to the end of a whole cycle". However, she considers the portrayal of December 2012 as a doomsday or cosmic-shift event to be "a complete fabrication and a chance for a lot of people to cash in."

**Kid_Kyoto**

#33 - Watching monuments explode lost its luster after the live action version.

I tossed out my copies of ID4 and Godzilla and have never seen the films since.

**sebster**

Cane wrote:Looking at his IMDB list there are only two movies I enjoyed that he's done: The Patriot and Independence Day.

Hang on, what? Somebody liked The Patriot? That... I mean... how?

Meanwhile, 2012 is getting two kinds of reviews. Some reviews are negative, saying its dumb but kind of fun, the rest are positive, saying it's fun but kind of dumb. If you want to go and watch extras get wiped by an ludicrously implausible geological disaster, then it'll probably be good fun.

**Albatross**

Hang on, what? Somebody liked The Patriot? That... I mean... how?

I know mate - that totally blows my mind. That's like saying you like 'Waterworld'. Ugh.

'Waterworld' is about as historically accurate as 'The Patriot', for that matter.

**Orkeosaurus**

You hate Waterworld? GET OFF MY INTERNET.

**Albatross**

Don't you dare tell me you like 'The Postman'.

I swear I will totally stab your face off.

Take your gills and jog on.

**Orkeosaurus**

Nothing stops the US Mail. Fething nothing.

**lord of the ghosts**

44. we are NOT ALL going to die.(if it happened, which it won't)

**Albatross**

Gah!

**Kid_Kyoto**

Albatross wrote:Don't you dare tell me you like 'The Postman'.

I swear I will totally stab your face off.

Take your gills and jog on.

I cried watching the Postman. Course I was in Japan and the mail was my sole source of comic books but still...