Odd Ambitions.

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**Mad Doc Grotsnik**

I'm a bit of a people watcher me, and of all the sites I have taken note of, there is one which constantly eludes me, yet I am desperate to see. Namely, it's a Fat Lass, sat sitting on the floor, legs splayed, alternately crying, and shoving chips/a pie into her gob. To me this is about as low as humanity can sink, and I damned well want to pathetic spectacle.*

Does anyone else have an odd ambition in life?

*Why yes, I most likely am going to hell. Or would be if I believed in such things.

**squilverine**

Mad Doc Grotsnik wrote:I'm a bit of a people watcher me, and of all the sites I have taken note of, there is one which constantly eludes me, yet I am desperate to see. Namely, it's a Fat Lass, sat sitting on the floor, legs splayed, alternately crying, and shoving chips/a pie into her gob.

Is it wrong for me to be arroused by this?

**Mad Doc Grotsnik**

Probably not, no. If that's your thing.

The men in white coats might want a wee word with you like....

Got little time for self pitying fatties who don't fight comfort eating.

**Monster Rain**

I'd like to eat one of those 76 ounce steaks that some restaurants advertise that if you finish it your party's meal and drinks are on the house.

This was double-posted, and then not anymore...

Weirdness.

**squilverine**

Maybe we should lay off the fatties, they already have enough in their plates.....

My odd ambition is to buy a concrete block for everyone in Bristol and post it to them just to watch the postmen struggle to deliver them. I can't stand postmen, lazy sods.

**Monster Rain**

What's with the hate for the postmen?

And if your system is anything like ours, they get paid by the hour so they'd make mad cash off of your brick scheme!

**Mad Doc Grotsnik**

Enough on their plate.... I see what you did there....

**squilverine**

Monster Rain wrote:What's with the hate for the postmen?

And if your system is anything like ours, they get paid by the hour so they'd make mad cash off of your brick scheme!

The majority of our postmen are incredibly lazy. Last year they went on strike because their boses had the audacity to suggest they should actualy work their contracted hours. Previously they were allowed to go home once they had delivered their mail, but with times getting hard in a bid to not cut jobs the boses asked them to return to the depots and sort mail until the end of their shifts. Given the reaction you would have thought someone had asked them to sacrifice their first born child.

**MeanGreenStompa**

I'd like to have the willpower to finally sit down and paint my 80 ork boyz...

**squilverine**

MeanGreenStompa wrote:I'd like to have the willpower to finally sit down and paint my 80 ork boyz...

I feel your pain, it takes me a good weeks worth of evenings just to get 5 boyz done.

Another odd ambition of mine was to buy the worlds most expensive restaurant and put a sign on the door reading "closed for lunch"

**Flashman**

I've always wanted to solve a murder. One of the really hard ones like the Zodiac or Jack the Ripper.

**dogma**

I'd like to one day employ someone as a Master of Hounds for my otherwise unremarkable dwelling. Of course, he could wouldn't care for real hounds. Some sort of small dog would do; possibly Pomeranians.

**Kanluwen**

To hunt and capture(or kill) the Abominable Snowman.

**dogma**

To own a platypus trained to attack my enemies with its poisonous barbs.

**Flashman**

This reminds me of an odd ambition I used to have where I really wanted to see Loch Ness. I didn't believe in the monster any more, I just wanted to see the Loch. So late one Saturday afternoon (I was living in Epsom, nr London at the time) I said sod it, got in the car and drove up to Scotland. 12 hours later, I was driving through the Scottish Highlands with no other car in sight. Amazing experience. Loch Ness was pretty good too.

**Albatross**

MGS wrote:I'd like to have the willpower to finally sit down and paint my 80 ork boyz...

Once again, I'm in exactly the same boat! I too have 80 boyz to paint - and they're also Bloodaxes....

Anyway, I've just about finished basecoating all 80, just so they look half-decent on the tabletop. When that's done I'll just start highlighting them - all 80.

What a friggin' nightmare!

Any other Ork players wish they played an army with hardly any troops?

On the plus side - I got some of those BloodAxe-type heads from that Polish(IIRC) company. Pretty sweet.

Anyway, my odd ambition is to punch James Blunt in the face. Just once.

**Mad Doc Grotsnik**

Albatross wrote:Anyway, my odd ambition is to punch James Blunt in the face. Just once.

FAIL!

That's an incredibly understandable and admirable ambition in life.

Though I suppose the odd bit is limiting yourself to just the one.....

**Flashman**

And why stop at James Blunt. There are countless British male solo artists who need a good bit of nose surgery Albatross style.

Right, I make that 1999 posts. And just to show how damn cool I am, I'm off to bed without tipping it onto 2000.

**George Spiggott**

I'd like a war room that I could fill with young women..

**J.Black**

I'd like to place some radioactive material in Piccadilly Gardens during the summer. I estimate that this would reduce the number of scallies operating in Manchester by 50% in 2020.

**greenskin lynn**

i'd kind of like to get a pilots license and be able to fly one of those small 2 person planes around

**Ketara**

Albatross wrote:

Anyway, my odd ambition is to punch James Blunt in the face. Just once.

You don't wanna mess with the Bluntman. I heard he tried to sue someone who made a pisstake version of his song called 'You're gullible', and that he sent them death threats afterwards.
*adopts a chav accent*
He is a bare hard soldier blud! You dunt wanna be messing wiv him! Brrup!

**rocklord2004**

I want a lemur thats trained the same as a seeing eye dog. I have no sight issues I just want to be lazy and have an awesome marsupial do my work for me while I cry and stuff pie into my gob. If thats slang for anything other than mouth disregard the previous statement. :3

**bsohi**

I wouldn't call them too odd, or ambitions at that even, but I have a tendency to get fixated on really odd goals. I spent a month late last year doing as much things with my left hand to try and become ambidextrous. Got pretty good too.

**Nightwatch**

Top of my page says "Odd Ambitions. | I see lead people."
I chuckled briefly.

**nintendoeats**

Mad Doc Grotsnik wrote:I'm a bit of a people watcher me,

Hmm, you should see the movie "following." Bit of a cautionary tale.

Automatically Appended Next Post:
Oh, and my odd ambition is to see everybody chill the f**k out and stop trying to be the f**king kings of the f**king world all the f**king time. You know, do what you need to do because yopu have to do it and then relax with a cooler or a soda or some marijuana or whatever while reading a good book (and I mean a REAL good book, because this isn't going to work if everybody is an uneducated redneck tw*t).

I also want to make swear words as useable as possible while remaining effective. Its a hard balance to strike.

**hcordes**

i have an ambition to try and eat as many odd or endangered animals as i can.

i.e. Rattlesnake (check)
fried crickets (check)
jackrabbit (check)
sea urchin (check)
buffalo (check)

etc etc

yes i have eaten all of these.,

**Albatross**

The top of my screen says: 'Odd ambitions | Causing marital strife since 1997'

Thought that was rather good.

Ketara wrote:You don't wanna mess with the Bluntman. I heard he tried to sue someone who made a pisstake version of his song called 'You're gullible', and that he sent them death threats afterwards.

Oh no you don't, you cheeky monkey! I'm not falling for that!

**squilverine**

I have to stick up for Blunty here. I have seen him interveiwed a few times and he comes across as a thouroughly decent bloke who is happy to take the piss out of his own music. He is also ex-forces. IIRC he was a captain and served in Bosnia/Serbia.

**Jimi Nemesis**

I want to live to 703. No more, no less.

I want a Viking funeral.

I want to lead the Armies of Earth on a universe conquering crusade.

I want to write a Fantasy novel, make a movie about it AND do the epic as hell power metal soundtrack.

I want to Organize a metal festival biger than Wacken Open Air.

I also want to get my conciousness put into an attractive 20 year old woman's body fora day.

Enough?