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While reading about MadDoks housing woes, some people shared some nastyness they have witnessed. So I figured, lets discuss this, and see who can out due who, with yuckyness.
Just make sure it really happened. I dont want far fetched BS to show up

:S

Suddenly I realized this was a terrible idea lmao

I was thinking gross dishes messes.....not that. Im getting sick. Someone close this damn thread lol

Yeah, this has got all kind of nasty potential.

Watching a deer get hit by a semi on the highway. Do i need details?

I have two absolute corkers, both of which are 100% true - I gak you not.

1. My missus used to live in a shared house with two other girls, one of whom she was close with, the other of whom was a little bit weird. She was the type to leave notes around the house saying stuff like 'Hi guys, would REALLY appreciate it if you'd tidy up after yourselves when using the kitchen, thanks'. I fething HATE those people - just TELL me what it is you want to say, instead of leaving fething notes everywhere! But I digress. Anyway, this girl moved out, and my missus and the other girl had a bit of tidying-up to do in order to get the newly vacated room ready for it's new occupant. So, 'what weird stuff did they find, whilst tidying the room?' I hear you ask.

Well, I'll tell you:

A blood-encrusted dildo.

That's just wrong.

2. Me and a bunch of mates pulled over the car to give this girl we all knew a lift into town. It was a pretty hot day and there were already 4 of us in the car, and the girl was, shall we say, 'generously proportioned' . We did the gentlemanly thing, and let her sit in the front seat. Anyway, after about 5 minutes I noticed this awful smell, and a terrible realisation hit me. I turned to my mate and caught his eye. He just nodded in agreement. It was her vagina we could smell.

Don't ask me how we BOTH recognised it!

That was not a pimple that was a boil a really nasty boil

@Albatross:HAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
oooh, jeezus Ahem,
Well the grossest thing ive seen was when my dad fell 4 metres down a hole,broke like 6 ribs and getting bruised all over
Jeezus i swear his whole body looked like a giant plum.

Albatross:

Technically, your second story wasn't the grossest thing you've SEEN!

sonofruss wrote:That was not a pimple that was a boil a really nasty boil

Naw, it was just a gift from Papa Nurgle .

Commissar Molotov wrote:Technically, your second story wasn't the grossest thing you've SEEN!

Well, the smell did burn my eyes...

The grossest thing ever...

Probably a penis turned inside out.

That or a girl eating a horse crap fresh out of ass.

Google 'Harlequin Baby'.

Well curiosity kills the cat again... Anti mag that is bad that is really bad. I cant imagine the pain those poor babies have being born like that. Thanks mag you have given me new nightmares to have.

Vindicator#9 wrote:Well curiosity kills the cat again... Anti mag that is bad that is really bad. I cant imagine the pain those poor babies have being born like that. Thanks mag you have given me new nightmares to have.

Indeed...its a rare genetic anomaly called Harlequin Ichthyosis. As disfiguring as it is rare, it's very hard to survive with it, as your skin require almost 24-hour skin moistening to stop the skin from drying out completely.

Seen the Harlie baby, already jaded.

Albatross wrote:A blood-encrusted dildo.

Some buddies and I went to the local strip club when one of them turned 21. Now this strip club is out in the sticks so the dancers are less than uhhh... "fresh". We're all aware of the club's situation but it's mostly for gaks and giggles. So we buy the guy a lap dance and everything is alright until we leave. Then we notice there's blood on my friend's pants right where the girl sat.

I'm imagining the harlequin babies coming out of a 4th ed holofalcon. WHY GOD? 1/36 CHANCE TO STOP THEM!

avantgarde wrote:

Albatross wrote:A blood-encrusted dildo.

Some buddies and I went to the local strip club when one of them turned 21. Now this strip club is out in the sticks so the dancers are less than uhhh... "fresh". We're all aware of the club's situation but it's mostly for gaks and giggles. So we buy the guy a lap dance and everything is alright until we leave. Then we notice there's blood on my friend's pants right where the girl sat.

Did this friend happen to see the film Superbad?

Yes, yes he did.

I dont know. i had a thread like this before on daaka i think. it got locked.
I dont know if i should post the pic of the giant zit.

I work in an Emergency Department. I could go on for a while. There's two kinds of gross. 1) Hey guys come check this gak out. 2) Aww, I can't unsee that...

For your well being I'll stick to the first kind of gross...

I'll just give you a quick 3 count.

1. If your gonna stick something up your butt, tie it off to something or make sure it has a big handle, cuz once you get going and build up enough suction, its a goner. And alot of the time they can only be removed in surgery. I've seen everything from bottles, glass jars, sausages, golf balls, rodents, scented candles (smelt like someone crapped a pine tree), and of course sex toys. PS - If its battery operated, wait for the batteries to die before you come to the hospital. If I can hear your guts vibrating, I will laugh.

2. One word, "tablesaws." They rock. Fingers go flying everytime. I've seen probably a dozen fingers brought in in a little baggy. From Noobs to Nubs.

3. If your gonna carry your "piece," don't point it at your pieces. Holsters are your friend. A guy got shot in the scrotum and one of his testicles was hanging out. Looked like a half chewed gumball wrapped in a strip of bacon hanging from a string.

I have many many more...

I...love...your...Avatar.

Airborne? With chainsaw?

That was not a pimple, that man should seek medical help.

It may not have been a pimple, but it was strangely compelling viewing?

@OP - Considering the plethora of stuff on the internet that fulfils the criteria of this category, did you really want to open this can o' worms?

Saw a kid get hit by a bus once, just after eating a Mcd's (as if it wasn't hard enough to keep it down to begin with)

Kid had came off his bike and his arm clipped the bus, needless to say not much left of his inner forearm.

Funny side of it was while waiting for the ambulance, a policeman asked the kid (who was lying in a heap in the gutter screaming with agony) 'can you stand up on your own?'

to which the kid replied 'Do I fething look like I can!'

And yet how good must it feel to have that fether popped? Had a really sore zit on my nose the other week, and my god the relief when I popped it! All pressure removed. Lovely. Well, not lovely per se, but you know what I mean. Relieving. That's a better word.

I saw the tendons in my left arm before. Got put through a window, lacerating the forearm for about 5 inches from the wrist, right down to the bone. Off to hospital, dosed up on painkillers (may not have morphine, as I was 14 at the time and I think they use something else on kids). So I was laid on the bed, playing with them. At least that's my recollection. Might be an embellished memory.

Other than that? MY mates borderline obese girlfriend, in my doorway, wearing extremely diaphonous undies (like spider webs), screaming my name, with flames behind her. I thought I was waking up in Hell. I wasn't. The stupid bint had left a candle burning which feeling lonely, decided to make a friend of the house. Eek!

Not that gross really i suppose, but a suicide bomber blew his car up outside camp phoenix in Kabul, and when securing the area afterwards we found his head in a tyre about 150 yards away. While we were pointing this out to each other and chortling about the distance his crust had covered, a stray dog spat something out it had been gnawing on by the other side of the road. We walked over there and it was an almost perfectly preserved cock with 80% of the balls remarkably well attached, I guess Afghan dogs are picky.

This was from 2 years ago... I just straight up lifted it from another forum I posted it at.

Here is a really funny story and joke that the target of just does not get. This is going to be long... grab a drink.

So... way back in Sept. 07 during the last week of the NFL preseason my roommate went out to go hang with his bro and watch the game. Me and my girlfrien were there at the house. She went to get something to drink out of the fridge and about passed out and puked at the same time from soething in there generating a smell. It smelled like roadkill on a highway in the middle of a houston summer. Hot humid rotting roadkill baking in the sun kind of smell. After she gained her composure from that we decided something HAD to be done. We try not to clean up after my roommate at all costs because he pretty much thinks that he can do no wrong and that everyone else should do anything work related for him. This has been a constant source of annoyment, but hey... the rent it cheap so I can ignore it and let him wallow in his own filth as long as it doesnt effect me. Well... this was very much effecting me. So we prepared ourselves, sprayed in a large quantity of odor nuetrilizer as a preemptive strike, and charged in to the fridge screaming "blood for the blood god."

We dug deeper and deeper throwing most everythign we came into contact with because it was expired or rotten. There were veggies that were wilting and liquifying. There were green meats. There were leftovers in there that were weeks old. Finally way in the back on the bottom shelf in a corner was a bag of coctail shrimp from when his girlfriend had made something, and just threw the rest in the fridge to never see the light of day again. They had been in there at best guess 2 months. The things had begun rotting, generated death gas and the bag had opened from the gas pressure like a bursting corpse. Needless to say we had found the culprit but contenued on to finish the job. By the time we were through the fridge was barren. Nearly 85 percent of the stuff that had been in there was gone. It was clean, empty and we put some boxes of baking soda in there to kill off any future scents.

About an hour after we had finished this undertaking, he came home from football with some leftover wings. He went to the kitchen and put them in the fridge. As he looked in the fridge, seeing that it was now clean and not smelling like baking roadkill all he did was just grunt in some form of contempt, and go about his buisness. Me and my GF saw this and were kind of let down that we didnt get some kind of real commwnt or preferrably a "thank you." Then again he can be an donkey-cave. We did also wonder at that moment how long they would stay in there.

8 Weeks later they were still there much to our dismay, but no smells wer emminating from them. It would be easy to tell too since Hooter's boxes have the holes in the top for some reason. Morbid curiosity had me wondering what they looked since the bacon beside them was turning blue-green from something else his girlfriend had made.So... I decided to open up the box an take a peek and this is what I saw...
WTF!!!!! Food is supposed to rot and these aren't. I remembered back though to when I had recently read Morgan Spurlock's "Don't Eat This Book" where he mentioned seeing the same non rotting phenominon with McDonalds burgers. Some people had even told him about having burgers kept out on their shelves to the element at room tempreture and they don't rot. Ok... fine I am seeing this first hand... cool I guess. Then the idea really hit. How long will these stay in here. What if they make it to 21 weeks? Will they then be old enough to drink? So a plan was hatched between me and my GF that if they did make it to 21 weeks old they were getting a birthday party. This would be a suprise and we wouldnt tell the roomie... just let him find out.

Week 21 rolls around, and the wings ARE still there!!! We decide "feth it, it's on!" and start preparing for the wings' big day. Her roomate being a pretty good artist got in on it and drew up a card for the wings.

And then put an inscription on the inside.


We then also went to walmart and got a few supplies. At first we had some much grander plans but decided to hold back and go a little minimalist on this. Hindsight being what it is I now wish we had gone all out for this. If your gonna get bitched at for something might as well go all the way and make it worth it. So we just got some noise makers and party hats for the wings. We also intended to get a banner and maybe a small cake for them but then backed off and just wnet with the hats and noisemakers. So we got home and dressed the wings up. We put a hat on the carton, a noisemaker in the lid making that its' mouth. I drew some eyes on it and a little fuzz goatee like my roomate has. I also went the extra mile and carved out some foamcore hands and taped them to the sides and set a beer next to it so the wings could have their birthday drink. The plan set we went to sleep.



Around 2 that afternoon, we wake up and go out to see what became of our handywork. No coment from the roomie or his friend that was over were made. Ok... maybe they just hadnt seen it yet. Then again they arent really saying anything at all to either of us... fine whatever. We go out to lunch and come back and the wingbox hat and all are sitting on my bed. Okaaaaaaay... someone is kind of touchy and looking for a reaction but Im not going to give him one. I also notice he has made a sizeable dent in the 20 days worth of his dishes that he had been piling up... more on that in a minute. The silent treatment contenues throughout the nite up to when he leaves. He is gone over to his GFs' house for a while. He only comes back for about a minute not saying gak and looking through me and My GF like we arent there. OK... fine... be that way donkey-cave. He can dish out jokes like this but he can't take it for gak appearently. This is the same person who was telling me about this one guy he knows who took a crap in someone elses shoes for revenge and could barely get it out without laughing or always loves to bring up the time he fedone of our friends dog food and said it was chili.

The next Day I don't see him home at all. He is appearently over at his GFs' sulking. This morning, he comes in to get ready for work and still doesnt say gak or look in my direction untill right before he leaves to go to work. He informs me that he is going to have some paper work for me to sign. I had already stated previously that I was looking at moving out anyway here in April. Situations have changed slightly and that is going to have to be pushed back to June, but I hadnt mentioned that yet. Well asshat has called our landlady and informed her that I will be moving out be the 30th of April. Not much I can do now and Im signing the paper to get out. I do thik this is major over reacting to a harmless prank, and if he hadn't wanted it to happen well maybe he could have thrown his old wings out somewhere in the past 5+ months.

This is also by no means the first time I have had to get onto him about the kitchen. Whenever myself or My GF cooked something we cleaned up after ourselves. Whenever his GF comes over and cooks she just leaves her dishes wherver she stops using them at, and does not know the concept of rinsing out anything. I have called her out on it numerous times and her only response to me is "I don't live here why should I clean it up, and if you want it cleaned up, you do it." He defends her on this and does it for her... at some point. Rememebr the 20 days of dishes I mentioned earlier?.. yeah... all her and him. Really funny thing is we had our last arguement about this gak on new years eve... alot of good that did. So... feth it... he can have his fridge of rotting food, and oh yes... there are alot of other things in there rotting right now. Curiosity though is killing me on what things are going to look like once I am gone.

Oh yeah... I almost forgot... here is a pic of the wings themselves after 21 weeks. THEY LOOK THE SAME!!! This isn't right!

I used to live in a shared house with 2 guys and 2 girls. One of the girls had a boyfriend who was round all the time and, as a result, was always too 'busy' to do any fething cleaning. I got pretty pissed off having to clean up their mess every time i wanted to make some food and started keeping all my stuff in my room (might sound a bit harsh but i was at the end of my tether). I carried on in my blissful ignorance of the state of everyone else's washing up until one day, when i was feeling weirdly well-disposed to the rest of my flatmates, i thought I'd give the kitchen a proper clean. So, what did i find? Glad you asked:

3 plates so encrusted that when i tried to pry off the top one, i snapped the edge off.

A 1cm deep layer of fur on the inside roof of the microwave that was resistant to all forms of detergent until i pinched some industrial strength de-greaser from the kitchen i was working in.

A layer of what must once have been bacon fat at the bottom of the oven that had to be removed with a paint scraper and some wire wool. Apparently putting some foil underneath whatever was being grilled was far too much effort.

A pan of crusty blackness that i later learned had been used to boil potatoes... for nearly 4 hours. Someone had started cooking then gone to the pub.

And the crowning glory? The ventilation fan had been jammed for a while so i climbed up on to a chair and tried to scrape out the blockage with my fingers, after a couple of minutes i decided it would be easier to go outside, remove the cover and pull out whatever was in the way. I get outside to find the rear-end of a bird sticking out of the fan :( Realizing that i had just been fingering the 'neck-stump' of a long deceased bird, i threw up.

Shared houses..... Never again.

Grossest thing?

Simple , i'll tell you what it is , you can google it youself.
And i wont return to this thread again because i dont want to see it!

"Lotus Boobs"
Traumatizing some people , for years at a time.