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Well, I am ending my time here as an employee at a veteran’s hospital and this place is nothing short of a barrel of laughs. Today I just had an experience that made me laugh so hard. I work in a small office with a small restroom in here. However, the air conditioner is in the restroom blowing into the rest of the office. Now out of respect for the rest of the employees everyone uses the restrooms outside of the office.

So, the time came to go so out I went. Going to the second floor which is the cleanest and least used I went there. Doing my business an older man ran in there and stripped the white off from the porcelain. He got done right after me and stepped up to wait in line to wash his hands after I was done.

Right then, the door to the restroom flew open and this old man ran into the stall that was just vacated. He almost knocked the both of us over getting to the stall and I have never seen a cane move that fast before. Moving over to free up the sink I heard to guy fall to the floor, hugging the porcelain alter murmuring to himself. As the automatic towel dispenser stopped I could hear what he was saying. “Oh God, I don’t feel good. Oh, oh, oh why is the seat warm? Is that ?” Just then he spewed like a shook beer can.

The other guy in the restroom with us looked disgusted but was utter amazed because it sounded like shotgun going off in the toilet bowl. A second blast went off and he started to take deep breaths and murmuring it again. “Oh God, I don’t feel good. Oh God, can taste the in my mouth. Is that corn? I didn’t eat corn. Oh God!” He exploded again.

I just lost it and started to burst out laughing and headed to the elevators for my office. I just couldn’t hold it in and I know it is wrong to laugh but I guess it is the inner kindergartner in me that still laughs every time I watch Dumb and Dumber toilet scene. So that is my the recent public restroom horror story so I know you all can top it.

Grandfather Nurgle approves of this story, he would laugh too.

I lol'd

Not mine, but a great story from the internets. Note: NSFW language:

http://bash.org/?608100

I went to use the restroom in a Mexican restaurant one time...

There was a turd in the urinal. With a cigarette stuck in it. With LIPSTICK on the cigarette. In the men's restroom.

Eeew, eeew, eeeeeeew!

Oh, that 2nd story is pure WIN. Thanks!

My nephew was a janitor at an elementary school. He had a bunch of stories, well more like complaints, of having to clean poop off of the ceiling of the boys room more than once.

I think it's so cute when Americans say poop!
Sorry.
Poop!

Heh heh heh.

Americans are fething weird.

@Jin - That story was amazing. That sounds like Britain.

Manly LOL`s were had in this tread. Shotgun will never be the same again

I walked in on a couple of guys having sex in a mens room at a bus station.

I'll never figure out what is aphrodisiac about the smell of stale urine and other people's faeces.

Well,since I'm a native of New Orleans and have attended over 30 Mardi Gras celebrations (since all I had to do was walk outside),I have seen an INSANE amount of public restroom mayhem.
I've seen countless amounts of people passed out in their own waste,people beaten half to death and dumped in a stall,couples who apparently were so over come with pasion that a filthy restroom seemed like a romantic grotto & more drug use than the Greatful Dead at their most "greatful".
It's safe to say that during carnival season I've seen just about anything and everything short of a six foot ladybug waving a confederate battle flag and singing "I'm a little tea pot" in New Orleans public restrooms..and if I did see the ladybug..it wouldn't suprise me at all.

Me and my brother where at a car dealership to get a car. He wasn't feeling good that day and while talking to the dealer, he sharted his pants. My brother gets up and walks to he restroom with out saying a word. Me wondering if he is okay, follow him to the restroom. I look for him in one of the stalls. He walks out of one and the man next to me throws up. So me and my brother never got the car.

This is why I prefer not to use public restrooms.

There's this seaside town up north of my state called Devonport, and as nice as it looks from the outside, the public toilets are a fething nightmare. There was graffiti drawn with gak. God, I'm never going up north again.

What statement is so important you have to daub it onto a wall in poo?

Apart from 'Hey GW! Update my fething codex!!!'.

I was once cleaning the ladies toilets after last orders at a place in Manchester. Some clever person has written "feth off" on one of the walls in what looked like lipstick. I was about to take my cloth to the offending item when i realized that it was not lipstick; it was blood :(

Khorne approves of the above post