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If you are an imperial guardman what is you daily routine?

7am - Wake up
7:10am - Breakfast consisting of field rations
7:30am - sentry duty
10am - shouted at by superiors for falling asleep on duty
12pm - field tactics lesson
3pm - Afternoon snack (rations)
3:30pm - Equipment check
4:00pm - parade/random marching around
6:00pm - simulated battle
6:02pm - shot in foot by commisar for running from a simulation
6:30pm - Recovery in hospital
7:00pm - polishing entire companies equipment as punishment
11:00pm - night fighting training
1:00am - sentry duty
6:00am - sleep in overcrowded tent


(i know its a bit random, feel free to post better days in the life of a guardsmen)

5:20 am, woken up by enemy attack.

5:23 am, enemy break through first trenches

5:24 am, executed by commisar for retreating in face of enemy

6:00 am - Waking up in a tent
6:01 am- Killed by an earthshaker round

6:00am - Killed while asleep

Good to know all people think Guardmen do is die!

(i guess they do)

4 AM, captured by dark eldar
4-8 AM, torture by dark eldar
8 AM, dark eldar attacked by emperors children and guardsmen captured by the EC
8-12 AM, raped by EC
12 AM onwards, EC share the guardsmen with the rest of the chaos legions

12 AM. guardsmen start worshiping slaanesh.

Emperors day: 08:00 and 0 seconds; the barracks
Guardsman opens his present from his squadmates
08:00 and 1 second
Guardsman killed by jack-in-the-box impaled in his throat

7:00 AM - Guardsman found dead in his sleep, having passed peacefully to be with our beloved Emperor during the night, aged 112 after serving with distinction and fathering 40 children accross the galaxy to various beautiful women.

Henners91 wrote:7:00 AM - Guardsman found dead in his sleep, having passed peacefully to be with our beloved Emperor during the night, aged 112 after serving with distinction and fathering 40 children accross the galaxy to various beautiful women.

No fair...

0659 awoken by Tyrannids
0700 nomnomed by Carnifex

7 AM: War
8 AM: War
9 AM: War
10 AM: War
11 AM: War
12 PM: War
1 PM: War
2 PM: Tea and Scones
3 PM: War
4 PM: War
5 PM: War
6 PM: War
7 PM: War
8 PM: War
9 PM: War
10 PM: Die

In the universe of 40,000 there is only War and some Tea& Scones.

Edited as to not offend Emperors Faithful and to not evoke the wrath of said inquisitional lackey.

Cambak wrote:7 AM: War
8 AM: War
9 AM: War
10 AM: War
11 AM: War
12 PM: Tea & Scones
1 PM: War
2 PM: War
3 PM: War
4 PM: War
5 PM: War
6 PM: War
7 PM: War
8 PM: War
9 PM: War
10 PM: Die

In the universe of 40,000 there is only War.

And Tea. And Scones.

5 AM - Guardsmen are all awoken by rampaging Ogryn, after failed attempts to tempt him with "Teh tastie bukket of food in da chimera"

6 AM - Guardsmen are all awoken by Sergeant to prepare for assault

6:10 AM - Guardsman Tom is promptly awoken after sleeping in by Commissar Killdeath in the form of a bolter round.

7 AM - Guardsmen are fed "Grissle Nibblets" before forced march. Food was declared terrible by most of guardsmen. Commissar executes Guardsman Fred, causing satisfaction with meal to go up exponentially.

8 AM - Equipment check before departure from camp. All Leman Russ Battle Tanks and Support Armor are operational, as are the Company Command Chimeras. Only 7 out of 10 guardsmen are found to possess flak armor. 9 out of 10 are found to possess lasgun. No rations are issued to men, nor camp equipment.

9:30 AM - Forced march begins. The expected 15% of guardsmen die from exaustion, and a further 7% die of a combination of malnutrition, exaustion, and food poisoning, as the "Grissle Nibblets" are once again found to be unsatisfactory in taste and even less satisfactory as marching food.

Next Day

9 AM - Forced march ends at destination, the Impenetratable Bastion of Chaos.

9:10 AM - Assault on Impenetratable Bastion begins.

9:11 AM - Chaos forces shell gas into assault trenches and Imperial positions. Casualties high. Morale drops.

10 AM - 73% of Leman Russ Battle Tanks and Support Armor destroyed by snipers, psyker blasts, and anti-armor weapons. Morale falls.

11 AM - Two hours of lasgun volleys have found to be ineffective against bastion. Guardsmen are to keep firing until 72nd Armored Division reaches positions.
Morale falls further.

4 PM - 72nd Armored Division reaches position. Artillery barrage from reinforcements causes substantial damage to Bastion. Morale is unchanged.

5 PM - Chaos forces counter-attack, destroying much of the 72nd Armored Div. Morale is crushed.

7 PM - The consistant barrage of fire wears on Chaos forces, guardsmen find opening into bastion to which they are herded into by a team of Commissars.

Four Days Later

4 PM - After much battling, losing ground, gaining ground, and losing some more ground, Sector Command declares the Assault on The Impenetratable Bastion of Chaos to be a failure. Inquisitior Jerkface orders Exterminatus.

Fl@nked wins the thread.

Henners91 wrote:7:00 AM - Guardsman found dead in his sleep, having passed peacefully to be with our beloved Emperor during the night, aged 112 after serving with distinction and fathering 40 children accross the galaxy to various beautiful women.

Plot armor detected.. What novel are you in?

A good day for a fighting guardsmen is..

Wake

March

Fight

Garrison New Objective

Defend

Reinforced

Defend
Defend
Defend

Rotated to Reserves.

TT guardsmen is more like..

Sit happy in Chimera..

Sit happy in Chimera..

Capture objective in Chimera...

Chimera Destroyed..

Hide in Wreckage Contesting Objective...

Game ends..

Victory!...

Step 1. Do whatever the commanding officer tells you to.

Step 2.

Step 3. PROFIT!!!

Cambak wrote:7 AM: War
8 AM: War
9 AM: War
10 AM: War
11 AM: War
12 PM: War
1 PM: War
2 PM: War
3 PM: War
4 PM: War
5 PM: War
6 PM: War
7 PM: War
8 PM: War
9 PM: War
10 PM: Die

In the universe of 40,000 there is only War.

Except between 10:01 and 6:59, then it's party time

Cambak wrote:7 AM: War
8 AM: War
9 AM: War
10 AM: War
11 AM: War
12 PM: War
1 PM: War
2 PM: War
3 PM: War
4 PM: War
5 PM: War
6 PM: War
7 PM: War
8 PM: War
9 PM: War
10 PM: Die
10:01-7:59 SEX

In the universe of 40,000 there is only War and Sex.

fixed it for you.

Posthumous sex?

only if slannesh cultists kills him

I know a life of an Eldar guardian

Wake up

weapon check

Emboldened by a warlock

March into battle

get fortuned like a million times by farseers(he stays close to all farseers and hook up with them)

runs into the enemy line and dodge all shots

Kills everything

Being too cocky and got kicked out of the Eldar race by seers

and starts the life of an imperial guard....

Tony the guardsman wrote:I know a life of an Eldar guardian

9 am, Wakes up (fashionably late of course)

9:30 am, Showers with other guardians, drops soap repeatedly

10 am, Blowdries and curls hair

10:30 am, Puts on makeup

11 am, is quickly Emboldened by a warlock

11:15 am, Skips into battle

11:30 am, retreats into webway due to a broken nail

11:35 am, Skips home

12 am to 5 pm, Goes shopping in the craftworld mall

5pm, Has a salad for dinner

6pm, to 7 pm, Embroids hearts and rainbows onto his cardigan

8pm, Dances with the unicorns in the moonlight

9pm, ?

10pm, falls asleap in the strong arms of the warlock

Fixed

lol,very nice idea,looks like eldar society is better than the imperium!
We welcome all guardsman who wants to join us!(Or maybe we just throw them into the chamber of the avater for his food)

5:55 Wake up
5:56 Remove dried blood from nose caused by stale recirculated air (*onboard Navy transport in orbit only)
6:00 Reville
6:05 Cold shower
6:10 Hygiene and maybe a personal minute
6:20 Chow-like substance served
6:45 Get into formation
7:00 Muster
7:45 Smoke
8:00 Clean!
9:00 Work-like activities commence
9:15 Sneak away from work-like activities whilst no one is looking so you can smoke
9:20 Unfortunately the Sergeant was
9:30 Sergeant performs wall to wall conselling
9:45 Smoke
10:00 Move all the water from a massive pallet at Point A to Point B 50 meters away because it's current location isn't Feng Shui with a major.
10:45 Smoke
11:00 Sit behind automated ID counting machine at DFAC working a broken manual counter
11:45 Smoke
12:00 Eat / Smoke
1:00 After long smoke break go on guard duty, get reprimanded for not showing up 15 minutes early for proper pass down.
2:00 Wait for death, watch some other poor bastards rehaul all the water you moved early back to Point A because the major didn't have the colonel's authorization to move said water.
5:00 Eat scrap of unidentifiable chewy substance found in bottom of pouch. It's aged quite well.
6:00 Possibly spot an ork in the distance. or maybe a Tau.
6:45 Relieved by Private Impeccable. Go smoke.
7:00 Suprise night time training drills!
12:00 Night drills end / smoke
12:05 Collapse onto cot, still covered in dirt.
12:10 Tap on shoulder from Corporal Goscrewhimself, the major finally received authority to have water moved. The entire war effort will be in vain if you personally do not attend to it NOW.
12:15 Smoke

I think that about covers it

Tony the guardsman wrote:lol,very nice idea,looks like eldar society is better than the imperium!

There are very few things that *aren't* better than life in the Imperium. Heck, even life in the Eye of Terror is better than in the Imperium, to be honest. Unless you're *from* the Imperium, *in* The Eye of Terror. Then you've pretty much hit the rock bottom of suck, really...

Just to give you an idea how fethed up that is, even Tzeentch is going like "Damn, I wouldn't want to be in that poor bastards's shoes..."

Napalm wrote:
6:00 Reville

Life in the day of a pan fo?

corpsesarefun wrote:

Tony the guardsman wrote:I know a life of an Eldar guardian

9 am, Wakes up (fashionably late of course)

9:30 am, Showers with other guardians, drops soap repeatedly

10 am, Blowdries and curls hair

10:30 am, Puts on makeup

11 am, is quickly Emboldened by a warlock

11:15 am, Skips into battle

11:30 am, retreats into webway due to a broken nail

11:35 am, Skips home

12 am to 5 pm, Goes shopping in the craftworld mall

5pm, Has a salad for dinner

6pm, to 7 pm, Embroids hearts and rainbows onto his cardigan

8pm, Dances with the unicorns in the moonlight

9pm, ?

10pm, falls asleap in the strong arms of the warlock

Fixed

corpsesarefun, here's your WIN badge. Wear it with pride.

corpsesarefun wrote:

Tony the guardsman wrote:I know a life of an Eldar guardian

9 am, Wakes up (fashionably late of course)

9:30 am, Showers with other guardians, drops soap repeatedly

10 am, Blowdries and curls hair

10:30 am, Puts on makeup

11 am, is quickly Emboldened by a warlock

11:15 am, Skips into battle

11:30 am, retreats into webway due to a broken nail

11:35 am, Skips home

12 am to 5 pm, Goes shopping in the craftworld mall

5pm, Has a salad for dinner

6pm, to 7 pm, Embroids hearts and rainbows onto his cardigan

8pm, Dances with the unicorns in the moonlight

9pm, ?

10pm, falls asleap in the strong arms of the warlock

Fixed

THAT is one of the most epic things I have ever read on dakka, along with these....

Emperors Faithful wrote:

Cambak wrote:7 AM: War
8 AM: War
9 AM: War
10 AM: War
11 AM: War
12 PM: Tea & Scones
1 PM: War
2 PM: War
3 PM: War
4 PM: War
5 PM: War
6 PM: War
7 PM: War
8 PM: War
9 PM: War
10 PM: Die

In the universe of 40,000 there is only War.

And Tea. And Scones.

Sorry, I forgot about the British Gaurdsmen, will edit, just so I don't offend, to much.....