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I made a joke in a different thread and it got a wee bit derailed so I'm making a new one. What are your favorite horrible things to see that this man has produced. I'm torn between two things. The scene in Alone in the Dark where the digitally placed bullet intentionally misses the target and still kills it and the entire movie Farcry. I honestly think he just watched a trailer for Farcry Instincts and said "I can make that trailer longer". In my defence of knowing several of this mans movies I have never had to pay to see one. They either come on SyFy or on Netflix streaming. Great fodder for emulating Myster Science Theater 3k.
Honestly, I havnt seen ANYTHING the man touched that I liked. Im not even exaggerating. Dear lord I pray you strike him dead. Send your agents of death, so you may cast this foul evil back to the depths from whence it came!
This message was edited 1 time. Last update was at 2010/04/12 00:29:01
Nope. That one was directed by Christophe Gans. Silent Hill was a great movie though. I havn't played the games so I don't know if it followed anything properly.
I am both selfish and chaotic. I value self-gratification and control; I want to have things my way, preferably now. At best, I'm entertaining and surprising; at worst, I'm hedonistic and violent.
FITZZ wrote: Uwe Boll, the only man to ever make me HATE a zombie movie...I curse the day he was born.
lol Thats exactly how I feel about the man. I see ZOMBIES ZOMBIES ZOOOOMMMMMBIEESSSS!!!!!! So Im naturally all about it. But then all these teen types suddenly know kung fu and are doing insane flips and spins in the air shooting zombies dead.....er. Man I think I peed myself and didnt even know it I was so shocked
This message was edited 1 time. Last update was at 2010/04/12 00:31:16
KingCracker wrote:WHOA whoa whoa whoa. Slow down. It was a decent movie for sure, but great is a pretty far stretch by any imagination
Subjective opinion . I absolutely loved all the demented characters in the movie. Yeah the story was lacking but thats like saying Death Race had a lacking story. Who watches these kind of movies for that?
Fitzz I'm suprised it took you this long. Any other time in any other thread I tend to set off your Uwe Boll sense and you spring into action to add fuel to the fire. Can anybdoy think of any movie this man has made that was even tolerable for anything other than mocking it?
If you can honestly think of a movie that the guy hand his hand in, that is somewhat watchable, Ill give it a try. BUT, if I find it to be his usual suckage, Ill find you
If he had directed the Dead or Alive movie I would have told you to watch it with the sound off but that was done by a different dude. I guess you could try and get specific clips of BloodRayne with no audio and call it tolerable.
Yes my "Uwe Boll sense" was thrown off ,my kids were arguing with each other...so I had to put that fire out,before I could fuel this one (...and if I could some how blame Uwe Boll for my children fighting...I would).
And,off the top of my head,no,I can't think of any film that man has ever made that was even remotely tolerable.
Automatically Appended Next Post: Peter Jackson did Dead Alive,and it falls into the so bad it's good catorgary.
This message was edited 1 time. Last update was at 2010/04/12 00:53:50
I am both selfish and chaotic. I value self-gratification and control; I want to have things my way, preferably now. At best, I'm entertaining and surprising; at worst, I'm hedonistic and violent.
So I just checked his filmography. Nothing but crap. He is even going to make a third Blood Rayne movie. >.<
Fitzz I think we need to get a coalition to track him down and have a suprise "boxing" match with him. I will be "boxing" with a crowbar. Feel free to bring whatever "boxing" equipment you feel the most confortable with. Nothing with ammunition though. It may be a bit tough to get those across the Canadian border.
I am both selfish and chaotic. I value self-gratification and control; I want to have things my way, preferably now. At best, I'm entertaining and surprising; at worst, I'm hedonistic and violent.
I once dated a boxer and so I entirely approve of a bunch of internet tough guys trying to jump one. Let me know when you're planning on doing it, so I can film your humiliation.
Nurglitch wrote:I once dated a boxer and so I entirely approve of a bunch of internet tough guys trying to jump one. Let me know when you're planning on doing it, so I can film your humiliation.
Incidentally, I really like Postal.
That's quite amusing,almost as amusing as the assumption that one who post on an internet forum can't fight.
Please,keep the chuckles comming.
I am both selfish and chaotic. I value self-gratification and control; I want to have things my way, preferably now. At best, I'm entertaining and surprising; at worst, I'm hedonistic and violent.
Yeah....any professional fighter will admit that when faced with a busload of people armed with bats, sticks, or a crowbar in one hand, midget in the other (my style ) that the best strategy is to run. If you were silly enough to think it would be just me and fitzz shame on you .
I'm not assuming you can't fight. I'm assuming that you'll be brutally humiliated and cry like a little girl.
rocklord2004:
Don't worry, I'm sure you and Fitzz aren't the only cowardly windbags on the internet.
And the wit and wisdom continue...truely,you must continue with your amazing observations,your dazzling insight is an absolute marvel...I honestly stand in awe.
I am both selfish and chaotic. I value self-gratification and control; I want to have things my way, preferably now. At best, I'm entertaining and surprising; at worst, I'm hedonistic and violent.
Indeed. Were like Ork Boyz. Just one doesn't get much done but get a lot of us and you've got a Waagh! on your hands. Don't act like you've never had a person you knew you would never meet but still wanted to pop em in the face with a mallet.
rocklord2004 wrote:Indeed. Were like Ork Boyz. Just one doesn't get much done but get a lot of us and you've got a Waagh! on your hands. Don't act like you've never had a person you knew you would never meet but still wanted to pop em in the face with a mallet.
Now now rocklord,we are nothing like ork boyz ,we are " cowardly windbags" and "internet tough guys" and should take the opportunity to learn about true bravery from our squid loving friend...who types insults and assumptions at people he doesn't know.
I am both selfish and chaotic. I value self-gratification and control; I want to have things my way, preferably now. At best, I'm entertaining and surprising; at worst, I'm hedonistic and violent.
When will I ever learn. It must be the irreparable damage Uwe Boll has done to my little brain. Quickly Fitzz. To the interwebz. We haves angry thinsg to post........
Ya know Fitzz if people keep trying to make me feel bad about things I say to people I don't know I'm gonna run out of troll doll pics to toss on here. :3
I am both selfish and chaotic. I value self-gratification and control; I want to have things my way, preferably now. At best, I'm entertaining and surprising; at worst, I'm hedonistic and violent.
Uwe Boll... the kind of talent that isn't fit to make low-budget commercials for a local carpet store.
I watched roughly half of the Bloodrayne movie with NO IDEA what it was, just thinking it was some especially crappy made for TV movie.
Also, the line between "So bad it's good" a la Army of Darkness (featuring our Lord and Saviour, Bruce Campbell) and "So bad it's bad" is pretty important. It is a line that Mr. Boll can't seem to find the correct side of.
Outside of a dog, a book is a man's best friend. Inside of a dog, it's too dark to read. -Groucho Marx
Sanctjud wrote:It's not just lame... it's Twilight Blood Angels Nipples Lame.
And that is why you hear people yelling FOR THE EMPEROR rather than FOR LOGICAL AND QUANTIFIABLE BASED DECISIONS FOR THE BETTERMENT OF THE MAJORITY!
Phototoxin wrote:Kids go in , they waste tonnes of money on marnus calgar and his landraider, the slaneshi-like GW revel at this lust and short term profit margin pleasure. Meanwhile father time and cunning lord tzeentch whisper 'our games are better AND cheaper' and then players leave for mantic and warmahordes.
daveNYC wrote:The Craftworld guys, who are such stick-in-the-muds that they manage to make the Ultramarines look like an Ibiza nightclub that spiked its Red Bull with LSD.
Minnesota, land of 10,000 Lakes and 10,000,000,000 Mosquitos
As much as I hate how he did Alone in the Dark, I have to admit that I thought that Christian Slater would have made a good Edward Carnby if someone respectable did a movie about Alone in the Dark. He does seem to have the right look for it.
My Armies:
Kal'reia Sept Tau - Farsight Sympathizers Da Great Looted Waaagh! The Court of the Wolf Lords
Leigen_Zero wrote:Lets not forget that Postal was only shown in about 30 cinemas worldwide! and grossed a pittance compared to the average.
Needless to say, he does need to be shot for alone in the dark
That's what always happens with his movies...
It's part of why he's able to continue making movies. The German backers he has are(or last I checked at least) able to write off donating to his movies while under production as a tax break for supporting a national industry. They basically set the movies up to flop, and would get reimbursed by the German government for any loss.
Somebody tie me down, I feel NERDRAGE! *censored naughty words* He is another person to add to my 'To Hurt' list, right after Justin Beiber and Dawkins.
Oh, by the way rocklord and FITZZ, ask Luna to come with you. She is one awesome fighter. Or so it would seem...
. I absolutely loved all the demented characters in the movie. Yeah the story was lacking but thats like saying Death Race had a lacking story. Who watches these kind of movies for that?
That's quite amusing,almost as amusing as the assumption that one who post on an internet forum can't fight.
Kal'reia Sept Tau - Farsight Sympathizers 
Da Great Looted Waaagh! 
The Court of the Wolf Lords 
