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stonefox wrote:

malfred wrote:For those of you who won't talk about games in public:

Do you talk sports? Or movies? Or anything?

I can understand if you dislike people talking flame hate
in public, or drooling over females in comic book art, but
talking about something you enjoy is a good thing.

Don't hide your lamp under a basket.

But yeah, I get what you mean. It IS weird and sometimes uncomfortable seeing a grown man yelling WAAAGH at a 10 year old. It IS odd when someone shouts "For the Emperor!" and "Eradicate the Heretic!" with such zeal that you wonder if they're substituting the word Emperor and Heretic for some other real-life issue. But neither of those is as bad as the guy who tells you about his 50-page fanfic of some homemade chapter legion. I'll be polite, nod, and excuse myself later, but it doesn't mean I was interested.

, i have friends who tend to, how can you put it be more ladish and mens men so you dont really want to talk about playing with little plastic men around them.

The challenge here is to subtly tell them that everything manly they cherish is subtly homoerotic. What you need to do is get them to realize it on their own and have a laugh about it afterwards.

A grown man show never yell "Waaaaagh!" at anyone aged over 5 and under 20.

Come on Stonefox, you know the Spase Marienz are totally homoerotic. Everything exaggeratedly masculine is homoerotic.

The only reason to boast about one's sexual conquests of females is because of hidden or subconscious doubts about one's hetero identity.

What women like most is a good sense of humour.

Echo: being afraid of being called a geek or a nerd is just silly. Give it up and be who you are.

That aside, most of us here are aware of what acceptable behavior is and what isn’t. Most of us know you need to shower, you shouldn’t be screaming “whaaag” at the top of your lungs outside of the game store, and you shouldn’t launch into long winded tirades on topics that don’t interest the people you are talking to. You just don’t. So it really just breaks down to who your audience is. If anyone ever asks me what my hobbies are, 40k, video games, D&D, anime, and other nerd activities always pop up. There’s no shame, remorse, or apology offered and there shouldn’t be. If someone asks what one of those things is, I’ll follow it up with a 1-3 sentence description and more or less leave it at that. If they ask further, then I’ll go into more detail, but the trick is to not launch into a huge overzealous tirade of nerd babble to someone who doesn’t really want to hear it. If you’re not sure if they want to hear it or not, assume they don’t and change the subject. If they really wanted to hear about it, they’ll ask again later. Heck, I think I’ve mentioned 40k in the last 4 or so job interviews I’ve been on. Some interviewers never probe past the names; others have dug deeper into what these things I do really are. At the interview for my current job (I’m a chemical engineer working in what is essentially a lead smelting plant) I had a fairly long conversation with my current boss about World of Warcraft and Battlefield 2142.

None of my girl friends (or perspectives) has ever had an issue with any of my hobbies but I also don’t ever try to hide them. The miniatures are wherever they are. There is a book case full of RPG and comic books right next to the door of my bed room. There are anime wall scrolls up in my house. These things are present but not overwhelming. All the walls of my house are not covered in anime posters, there are not piles of RPG books blocking walkways, there are not miniatures covering every flat surface. The end message to other people is that these things are part of my life but they are not the only things in my life and I think that’s what is really important.

jfrazell wrote:Thats the one advantage of being an old fart. You don't really care about this nonsense any more.

Booyah! I'm 40 and recently divorced. I have a PoF profile and provide a link to my MySpace page. Here it is, it is an homage to my dorkdom: http://www.myspace.com/gaffneycj So the ladies are going to see that before they email me or whatnot, but I could give a Skaven's behind what they think. And for the record, this meeting chicks online thing is the schizzle. Been divorced since Feb 15th and have had 13 'encounters' if you know what I mean, and they all saw the MySpace page first (single moms over 40 don't care either). So I'd have to say let your dorkyness hang out, say it loud and say it proud!

Geekiness is a part of my personality. Part of that is that I play 40k, but it manifests itself in other ways too. My wife and I have a bookshelf full of manga; I'm a grad student in physics and have a bookshelf full of physics texts; I have a significant collection of "pulp" movies like Battle Royale; I love video RPGs; etc. People who meet me will realize that I get excited and obsessed over a variety of particular things, so I don't think that learning I play 40k would be a shock to anybody who has spent more than an hour talking to me.

Like others, though, I do not engage in geek talk with someone who hasn't shown him/herself to be interested. That's just inconsiderate. Most people I interact with don't know that I play 40k, but it's not that I'm hiding it; it just doesn't come up.

I've never had to introduce the fact that I play 40k to a serious girlfriend -- I played some in high school but stopped before I left for college because I lost interest, and when I regained interest I was already engaged -- but I would introduce it without making a big deal about it. If you turn it into some grand revelation, your girl might find it weird. If you just leave your models out and let her ask about them, you can give a casual explanation and make it out to be no big deal. That's the right way, if you ask me, as it should indeed be no big deal.

As long as someone doesn't come off like a kid talking about a game of Cowboys and Indians they just played, or Rimmer gushing at length about how he rolled 5's and 6's to his opponent's 4's and 5's, I wouldn't see any problem with a person talking about their hobby.
As an example, I beat over 100 other people for a promotion at work by teaching my interviewers how to assemble and prep Orks for painting.
Seriously what would make you nod at, smile, and back away slowly from a person in a truly rational world, someone who loves running into people as fast as they can while carrying a ball, or someone who enjoys honing his creative skills?

Relapse wrote:
As an example, I beat over 100 other people for a promotion at work by teaching my interviewers how to assemble and prep Orks for painting.

That's got to be an interesting story.

All I know is this: If you keep it from her, it will be a point of contention from the day she finds out. Be honest up front or she'll think you're keeping more than just your dorky hobby from her.

Most guys have hobbies which, to women, appear to be completely stupid. In all likelihood, miniature gaming will fall into that category with your prospective honey. I figure, 95% chance it won't really matter to her one way or another.

Mrs. Press throws a *&^%-fit every time I go out gaming, but I just ignore her. She gets to use it as leverage to make me watch the kids while she goes out sometimes, so fair is fair, right?

Well i see alot of people here are saying be cool just come out as a geek, but i suppose i dont really consider myself one, thats why its more trouble to talk to people about stuff like 40k cause while i love the hobby its still a small part of who i am. I really would as someone put it up there grab a ball and run fast at other people (but not in that pussy armour wearing american way, good old rugby). So i suppose its more to be about being honest about part of me which is a small part but is at odds with everything else i enjoy.

Though getting promoted at work thanks to 40k sure beats my last jobs method of having to play to much golf.

I game, I airsoft, I am a mediaeval re-enactor (look left!!).

This has not stopped me from having good friends, a loving fiancee and a baby boy.

I frankly think I have a more interesting life than those who sit around watching soaps and un-reality TV, before going out and getting p155ed on a weekend, but its all down to personal preference.

I have no problem with what anyone wants to do with their spare time. If they have a problem with what I do I have the (admittedly smug) comfort of the moral high ground.

Just go with the flow and let people accept you for who you are. If they don't, are they really people you want to know??


P.S. - I came close to managing Grimsby GW when I worked for them a few years ago. It sounds like I had a lucky escape from some of the yokels - err, locals

Man, I've gotten to the point where I find it exhausting, both emotionally and mentally, to hang out with anyone who isn't a geek or a nerd. 'Norms' are just so friggin' BORING.

So what do you do for fun? What? Listen to music, watch TV, and get drunk? No, these are things you do while you're doing the things you do for fun. Hell, I do all three in a typical 40k match.

Honestly, I've spent many hours trying to figure out what non-geeks do for fun in an effort to bridge the gap between them and I, but for the life of me I can't figure it out. There's got to be more than that right? RIGHT?!

AlexCage wrote:Man, I've gotten to the point where I find it exhausting, both emotionally and mentally, to hang out with anyone who isn't a geek or a nerd. 'Norms' are just so friggin' BORING.

So what do you do for fun? What? Listen to music, watch TV, and get drunk? No, these are things you do while you're doing the things you do for fun. Hell, I do all three in a typical 40k match.

Honestly, I've spent many hours trying to figure out what non-geeks do for fun in an effort to bridge the gap between them and I, but for the life of me I can't figure it out. There's got to be more than that right? RIGHT?!

Well as i said above i personally like play rugby, i also play pool for my local bar in a league, hang out with friends alot, playing computer games and watch movies etc. Go out on the pull alot, i mean honestly i would rather be in a bar surounded by different kinds of people getting drunk rather then doing it in a basement while playing 40k.

I think calling normal people simply boring says more for your social skills then it does for there choice of activities

newbis got it.

I actually made friends (girls not lads!!!) through it by being a little sneaky. so you paint...so do up a simple landscape painting, stick it on the wall. You'd be surprised how many people notice. If it's simple but stricking they ask if you've done it. Then it flows...can you do me one, where did you learn...oh....really?...ok then, I'd still like a picture

and they come back a 2nd time to collect at which point you've just got to pot your balls (in a mannor of speaking). Also it helps if you've got one impressive piece (lotrs works as it's recognisable e.g. mumakil) out on show. And the whole packing away in a box/desk cupboard....how? mine gets pilled higher and higher, I wouldn't know how to pack it away or where to put it. My closets full of clothes.......where do you keep yours?

/shrug

To each their own.

I just find getting drunk for the sake of getting drunk, and 'hanging out' incredibly boring wastes of time when you can mix in much more entertaining elements, like 40k, DnD, or playing Mystery Science Theater 3000, the Home Game version.

I'm not really certain where social skills come into play here, though. I think that comment was rather unfounded. I get along FAMOUSLY with the norms (I have to, it's my job). But when they ramble on about how much fun a certain activity was when I found it, at best, mildly amusing, I just have to wonder why I would WANT to hang out with them.

Of course this is just a personal thing, I've known geeks who have alot of fun doing norm things with norm people. I guess I'm just too far over the fence. Now if only I could find someone's basement to live in and never go outside again...


Oh and by the way, tell yourself what you want, anyone with the name Salad Fingers is a geek. Accept it, brother.

Kilkrazy wrote:

A grown man show never yell "Waaaaagh!" at anyone aged over 5 and under 20.

Come on Stonefox, you know the Spase Marienz are totally homoerotic. Everything exaggeratedly masculine is homoerotic.

The only reason to boast about one's sexual conquests of females is because of hidden or subconscious doubts about one's hetero identity.

What women like most is a good sense of humour.

Who's boasting about sexual conquests? You should know me (at least the online persona) better by now. I totally enjoy homoeroticism and make sure all of my manly friends know it. After a tiring day of paintball or a nice workout session, you better watch out cuz that's when the buttslaps, the towel-snappings, and the shoulder-grabbing-with-a-wink-and-a-nudge start.

Actually, next summer when my friends and I should hopefully all be on a cutting streak and have sweet sixpacks, we were planning on being awesome beach bros who prank chicks. We'd start by hitting on 'em and maybe getting 'em to hang out, then later we'd all start acting really gay and scare 'em off.

Man, I've gotten to the point where I find it exhausting, both emotionally and mentally, to hang out with anyone who isn't a geek or a nerd. 'Norms' are just so friggin' BORING.

So what do you do for fun? What? Listen to music, watch TV, and get drunk? No, these are things you do while you're doing the things you do for fun. Hell, I do all three in a typical 40k match.

Honestly, I've spent many hours trying to figure out what non-geeks do for fun in an effort to bridge the gap between them and I, but for the life of me I can't figure it out. There's got to be more than that right? RIGHT?!

So what you're asking for is an outline for how "normal" people "have a life."
Hint: instead of a predictable, regular gaming session on weekends, "normal" people like to schedule events and have friends to go with them to those events. Hiking, skydiving, pulling pranks (with or without alcohol ), museums, events. Make all sorts of friends; life is infinitely more interesting when you have a social circle of 2 gunny sgts, 5 popped collar bro types, 4 nerds, 3 workaholics, and 5 athletes. Try it out sometime, bro. And stop that nerd raging. I'd recommend watching some Keys to the VIP (skip to 5:00 to get to the action) to see just how fun it is and how you could even make it a game just like 40k. It's a hilarious show anyway.

I had a friend like you once. He would call people "norms" and had an elitist view of them. It wasn't later when I made more friends who liked to do interesting things that I realized how much of a social wreck he was. Please don't be that guy, dude.

@Stonefox

>>>Who's boasting about sexual conquests? You should know me (at least the online persona) better by now. I totally enjoy homoeroticism and make sure all of my manly friends know it. After a tiring day of paintball or a nice workout session, you better watch out cuz that's when the buttslaps, the towel-snappings, and the shoulder-grabbing-with-a-wink-and-a-nudge start.

I didn't mean you personally. I meant guys generally. I just phrased it badly.

covenant84 wrote:<snipped>
...you've just got to pot your balls (in a mannor of speaking).
Also it helps if you've got one impressive piece...
...mine gets pilled higher and higher, I wouldn't know how to pack it away or where to put it.
...where do you keep yours?

I know what WE are talking about... but I'm not so sure YOU are talking about the same kind of "Miniature."

LOL

Eric

Salad_Fingers wrote: So i suppose its more to be about being honest about part of me which is a small part but is at odds with everything else i enjoy.

.

While you might not consider yourself a geek or nerd, others will, just roll with it. It's like fighting with someone who says Soda is called Pop or Soda Pop is called Coke. It's a battle that really has no right answer, but the more you fight it, the stupider you look..

Kilkrazy wrote:@Stonefox

>>>Who's boasting about sexual conquests? You should know me (at least the online persona) better by now. I totally enjoy homoeroticism and make sure all of my manly friends know it. After a tiring day of paintball or a nice workout session, you better watch out cuz that's when the buttslaps, the towel-snappings, and the shoulder-grabbing-with-a-wink-and-a-nudge start.

I didn't mean you personally. I meant guys generally. I just phrased it badly.

don't worry kilkrazy, stonefox just wanted to type butt, snap, shoulder, wink and nudge.. his erotic strings hadn't been played today and he needed to vent.. lol

stonefox wrote:

So what you're asking for is an outline for how "normal" people "have a life."
Hint: instead of a predictable, regular gaming session on weekends, "normal" people like to schedule events and have friends to go with them to those events. Hiking, skydiving, pulling pranks (with or without alcohol ), museums, events.

Oh.. Well I already do all that stuff... with geeks.... Hrm.

stonefox wrote:
Make all sorts of friends; life is infinitely more interesting when you have a social circle of 2 gunny sgts, 5 popped collar bro types, 4 nerds, 3 workaholics, and 5 athletes. Try it out sometime, bro. And stop that nerd raging. I'd recommend watching some Keys to the VIP (skip to 5:00 to get to the action) to see just how fun it is and how you could even make it a game just like 40k. It's a hilarious show anyway.

I had a friend like you once. He would call people "norms" and had an elitist view of them. It wasn't later when I made more friends who liked to do interesting things that I realized how much of a social wreck he was. Please don't be that guy, dude.

You know, I find it kind of funny, that 'social circle' you just described? Well rearrange the numbers a little and you've just described my social circle, save for the small fact that they are ALL geeks. The gunny sgt. is a geek (granted, he's a geek without a lot of time to be geekly). The atheletes are geeks. The uh.. 'popped collar bro' types, as you call them, HUGE geeks (though we just refer to them as fratboys, regardless of whether or not they are, or have ever been a member of a frat). And the workaholic is the biggest geek I know (Actually, I might fall into that category too). Except I don't actually have many 'nerds' in my social circle.

Remember kids, Geek != Nerd.
Though the two are not mutually exclusive.

Though I think the neutrality of the internet may have skewed what I was trying to say. I don't DISLIKE the norms (anymore than I dislike any other group of people). They just bore me beyond measure. And yet I still maintain a few friendships with some of them, for reasons unbeknownst to me. It's just a view from the other end of the spectrum. Salad Fingers' original post potrayed an image (a classical archetype) of a geek ashamed of his geekdom. What I posted was just a contrast to that. In our circle one is ashamed to admit to being a 'norm'. It's actually be used as an insult a couple times.

Actually... you know what? Screw that, social diversity is overrated. People from different walks of life are stupid. And dambit, if hating everyone that doesn't think like I do is anti-social, then so be it, I'm soo riding the anti-social train to piss-offville.

Seriously though, don't call me bro.

two_heads_talking wrote:

Salad_Fingers wrote: So i suppose its more to be about being honest about part of me which is a small part but is at odds with everything else i enjoy.

.

While you might not consider yourself a geek or nerd, others will, just roll with it. It's like fighting with someone who says Soda is called Pop or Soda Pop is called Coke. It's a battle that really has no right answer, but the more you fight it, the stupider you look..

Yeah, I don't care how stupid I look, I will fight that good fight until the day I die or the day everyone says it right, whichever comes first.

IT'S SODA YOU MONGOLOIDS!

... I've nearly lost friends over this arguement...

AlexCage wrote:
Seriously though, don't call me bro.

Is "brah" ok?

In England, soda water is something we mix with cheap brandy.

Kilkrazy wrote:In England, soda water is something we mix with cheap brandy.

Well I've kinda got my hands full with the Western Hemisphere at the moment. But don't worry, I'll get around to you guys when I'm done.

England is in both hemispheres.

... Yes that may have been the stupidest thing I've ever said.

Ok, The Americas then, I've got my hands full with The Americas. I'll cross the pond when they're fixed.

This is for stonefox, I recently got a badass cocker and am planning on putting on a good stiffi. lol

I suppose that's some sort of oil industry jargon, you being from Texas.

I'm just going to throw my couple of credits into the ring here.

Don't hide it. For the simple fact is, you hide something, the next natural thought is "what else is he hiding?"

Also, if they don't accept that you have a hobby, forget them.

I get the occasional odd look, or critical comment when I tell people what I do for my hobbies, but bugger it, I don't seek their approval.

Yes, I play tabletop wargames. I also listen to goth music, industrial, futurepop, along with a whole bunch of other things. I occasionally go to Goth clubs.. I've got one tattoo, and will probably be getting another one (an inquisitorial rosette I think). I play bloodthirsty chars on MMOs. I'll probably be getting into a local game of Dark Heresy.

If people don't like their priest doing all of this stuff, they can go somewhere else

Edited to fix some grammar.

Mithrax wrote:If people don't like their priest doing all of this stuff, they can go somewhere else

LOL.

One thing is that the bigger of deal you make about being ashamed of it, or the more it looks like you hid or are hiding it, the wierder it looks. It takes a certain amount of cojones, but pulling off the "it's normal, lots of people do it" can really help. She's not going to believe that it's mainstream, but it'll reassure her if you don't think it's weird.

I mention my hobbies early on, and I did so with my current gf. She asked what I did, and I simply said "I paint and play with wargames miniatures." I pointed out that I enjoyed a creative outlet after a long day of law school, and that I'd rather go to a tournament then spend all day at a bar. I've taken her to meet the people, and she's realized that most of them are normal guys, and while she thinks it's odd, she's cool with it.

Remember the scene in Knocked up when the woman found out her husband snuck out to go to a fantasy baseball draft? that's what you want to avoid. She wasn't wierded out by fantasy sports (a geeky activity if I've ever seen one), but she was freaked out by the lying.