Forum adverts like this one are shown to any user who is not logged in. Join us by filling out a tiny 3 field form and you will get your own, free, dakka user account which gives a good range of benefits to you: No adverts like this in the forums anymore. Times and dates in your local timezone. Full tracking of what you have read so you can skip to your first unread post, easily see what has changed since you last logged in, and easily see what is new at a glance. Email notifications for threads you want to watch closely. Being a part of the oldest wargaming community on the net. If you are already a member then feel free to login now.

I would also suggest that we bomb them with ducks,the endless quacking will drive them mad!

Just for kicks, I'ma post this here.

Brother Gwar and Brother Cheese waited nervously in the Land Raider, sweat trickling down their backs and faces. Their eyes were bloodshot, their hands trembling, and their balls shrunken.

The pilot's voice boomed in their ears; "Alright men, I'm lowering the ramp, get out there and let 'em have it!"
As he spoke, the heavy ramp on the front of the Land Raider slammed down, crushing those beneath it. Gwar and Cheese ran out into the clear air, their bolters blazing. Blood, gore and fluff splattered their armour as their mighty boltguns cut down the tide of Warseer members. Whines of 'CHEESE' and 'FLUFF IS JOY' sliced through the air with enough force to pulverise the bodies of the Marines and crush their heavily armoured vehicles. Even as Gwar watched, a Predator was reduced to a pile of scrap by the sonic blasts.

"Come on, Marines, move!" roared the sergeant, his bolter tearing apart a fanboy who was attempting to wrap his hands around Cheese's neck. The two Marines shook themselves out of their combat trance and roared battlecries, thundering fowards like true powergamers. Their armoured boots crushed fanboys thinner than Flak armour and their bolters cut a swathe through the noobs.

His last clip dropping to the bloody ground, Cheese drew his chainsword, cutting down the Warseer members in gory sweeps. Gwar, his bolter empty, did the same. But as Gwar's sword lashed out, it clanged on a Moderator's heavy rule-armour, the chain snapping. The noobs and fanboys wasted no time, piling onto Gwar like a competive army list. He screamed and writhed as their claws and fluff tore away his armour. He felt his leg armour coming apart, and felt a painful, invading presence in his rear end.

Cheese could only watch on in horror as his fellow Dakkaite was torn apart and raped, his friend's blood splattering the dirt. He could do nothing as a Moderator tore his sword from his hand and gripped him by the throat. The last thing he heard as his vision turned black was "Strike one... banned for comments on GW and oral sex... PG-13 website."

The Dark Eldar rumours still lie buried under that battlefield, but no longer does the Dakkaite chapter try to retrieve them. Warseer members have overrun the planet, killing and raping those who will not join them. Soon, all the forum-world shall fall before them.

^ Best fan fic ever.

;( Why Was I raped and you only Pillaged!

As Michael Jackson said to the cop: "It's Because I'm Black isn't it!" to which the cop replied "Holy gak you're Black?! BATON STRIKE!"

LOL,good little story although I would have liked to be in it,now wright it again except this time speak of my grand deeds.For I am the Grand High Lord of Cheese!!!

For your impudence, Gwar, I shall re-post this elsewhere whilst saying that instead of a single invasive presence in your rear, there are a dozen invasive presences in your rear.

Hamsters weigh two pounds.

Cheese Elemental wrote:For your impudence, Gwar, I shall re-post this elsewhere whilst saying that instead of a single invasive presence in your rear, there are a dozen invasive presences in your rear.

All I can say is, YAY!. Make the Invasive Presences tentacled and my day shall surely be made

Gwar! wrote:

Cheese Elemental wrote:For your impudence, Gwar, I shall re-post this elsewhere whilst saying that instead of a single invasive presence in your rear, there are a dozen invasive presences in your rear.

All I can say is, YAY!. Make the Invasive Presences tentacled and my day shall surely be made

Should he also add that your armor looks like a School Girl Uniform?

Yes, I shall make Gwar a Female Space Marine. They do exist, you know.

http://1d4chan.org/wiki/Female_Space_Marines

No offence, but this:

is clearly a male. He is far too pretty to be female.

Ah, but remember that this is not by GW, which insists that its 'female' models are just feminine males.

This is by a dedicated /tg/ drawfag who is way more intelligent that any GW artist and don't afraid on anything.

Cheese Elemental wrote:Yes, I shall make Gwar a Female Space Marine. They do exist, you know.

http://1d4chan.org/wiki/Female_Space_Marines

Hey its your story, you want female Space Marines go ahead, I was thinking more of a sexually confused Marine, you know like real ones.

Gwar! wrote:No offence, but this:

is clearly a male. He is far too pretty to be female.

Oh you are clearly correct there Gwar, no female can look that radiant.

And where am I in this tale rember I am the Grand High Lord of Cheese!

Deff Dread red Edition wrote:And where am I in this tale rember I am the Grand High Lord of Cheese!

Where are you Deff Dread? Simple. Sure this may not be Cheese Elemental's doing but still.

The Litany of Daka sat at low anchor above the doomed world, the fires ravaging its surface clearly visible from the Litany's bridge. Deff Dread Red Edition, Grand High Lord of Cheese paced near one of the view screens occasionally glancing out wonder what was to become of the cheese stores left on the world.

The clanking of ceramite on steel echoed across the bridge as a Marine lumbered towards the Grand High Lord. "My lord," he began. "I am afraid we have lost contact with the recon element sent to secure the main cheese stores, and have been informed by the Captain that his main drive to the factory has been stalled by over whelming numbers of Warseer heretics. We..."

Deff Dread raised a hand quickly silencing the Astartes, "Lord Yakface himself has tasked us with recovering the cheese stores from the enemy, you understand me Brother Marine? Lord Yakface himself, we must not fail him. I am to understand that there are Three Companies of the Chapter's finest Marines on board, minus those all ready sacrificing themselves on the alter of victory below, dispatch the others."

The Marine hesitated for a moment, technically the Lord of Cheese had no true authority over the Astartes, but Lord Yakface had placed him in command of the effort and appointed the Chapter to serve him. What he wished must be done.

"I will relay the order immediately my Lord." said the giant before turning away towards the ship's vox controller.

namegoeshere wrote:I posted on warseer once

SIGGED

I bet it was (Spoilered so the mods don't see it) who banned ya.

Thank you BrotherStynier I myself the Grand High Lord of Cheese thank the for you're glorification of my most excellent name!I now knight the "Stynier Grand Lord of the Mop Closet!"

Aww hells, the damn thing is back up ;(

What, so this is just a thread informing us Waseer is having downtime?

Oh well, keep us up to date Gwar.

No, this was a thread celebrating the apparent death of it.

Oh well

(I mean that in the lightest of Humours. TBFH I couldn't give a rats one way or the other. VIVA LA DAKKA!)

Deadshane1 wrote:Probably just some technical difficulties....I doubt they're dead.

Any loss to the 40k online community is unfortunate and not a good thing for any of us. Regardless of what site it is....well, maybe Heresy Online not so much....but anyone else, bad thing.

Haha you are my new favorite WC it was Brian for the peescapades.

I support all things Warhammer that are positive. HO is not a positive thing.

Can you WC guys explain the HO Hate?!

Nurgleboy77 wrote:Can you WC guys explain the HO Hate?!

Have you ever had an inteligent conversation on HO? ...didn't think so.

Yes plenty, actually. There are much fewer Douchebags that think they are funny and rules lawyers as well.

Nurgleboy77 wrote:Yes plenty, actually. There are much fewer Douchebags that think they are funny and rules lawyers as well.

Tell me, what constitutes a rules lawyer to you?

Ah well, this can be the thread where we fantasize about Warseer going down for good.

On a side note: Gwar, how many females have you actually seen?

Nurgleboy77 wrote:Yes plenty, actually. There are much fewer Douchebags that think they are funny and rules lawyers as well.

Well I can't say I've ever been involved in any of the rules discussion on this site but I have tried having a decent conversation on there, only to find responses I'd expect from ten year olds. Hey maybe that's what it is, a younger audience. Still no use to me.

Sorry, but I don't want Warseer to crash. And I don't want to see you guys going over there like
a bunch of teenagers with toilet paper and nothing better to do and posting
"All hail the Lord of Rabbits!"

Which is probably totally hypocritical for me to post.

Gwar! wrote:

Nurgleboy77 wrote:Yes plenty, actually. There are much fewer Douchebags that think they are funny and rules lawyers as well.

Tell me, what constitutes a rules lawyer to you?

Someone more obsessed with being right than getting the rules right.

Whatwhat, that's still no reason to be insulting. Maybe it's a better environment for new players, instead of the cynicism and nitpickers rampant on this site?